Rachel Barry was excited. In fact, she was thrilled, ecstatic even. She had never been happier, as long as she could remember. She had found her soul mate, her one true love, the duet to her heart's song. His name was Jesse St. James.

Jesse was Rachel's match made in heaven. He was everything Rachel could possibly want in a guy. He was gorgeous, confident, mature (unlike the other jerks she'd dated), a match to her talent, and a true romantic. He appreciated her like no guy ever had before. He told her she was beautiful, and that he loved her clothes. He shared her dreams and her opinions. They walked down the hallways at school holding hands, and he gave her a gold-heart necklace that she swore she would never take off. He was the Tony to her Maria, the Danny to her Sandy, and, to top it all off, they wore matching sweaters last Friday.

Officially, they had been dating almost a month, and that Saturday, in just a couple of days, Rachel and Jesse planned to celebrate their one month anniversary. They were going all out. First, they would go to their favorite Italian restaurant and cabaret and dine by the flickering candlelight, gazing into each other's eyes and feeding each other olives. Then, they would return to Rachel's house to exchange gifts, sing a ballad or two, and make out a lot. Rachel was counting the minutes.

However, on the Friday before their date, Jesse approached Rachel, who was waiting for him by his locker so they could walk to lunch together. He was slumped over, and his hands were dug in the pockets of his jeans. He had quite a solemn look on his face. Rachel picked up on it immediatey.

"Is something wrong, darling?" she asked anxiously, before he could say anything. Jesse grimaced.

"Rachel…we need to talk," he told her, his voice grave. This did not do a thing to settle Rachel's nerves. She'd had enough experience with guys to know that nothing good ever came from that line. Her only thought was: if he breaks up with me, I'll die. No, I'll kill him, and then I'll die.

"Okay," she said numbly, and Jesse took her gently by the arm, leading her, not towards the cafeteria, but to a deserted hallway.

"Why are we going over here?"

"I wanted to speak to you in private." He was looking down at his feet; he seemed to be hesitating about something.

"Why?" she insisted. Jesse shook his head, not looking at her.

"Just give me a second," he mumbled. One Mississippi…

"Second's up," she said shortly, and Jesse groaned, "Come on, tell me… please." Jesse took a deep breath and finally met her eyes, his gaze intent. He reached for her hands and held them.

"Rachel, I—"

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"What?" He dropped her hands in surprise.

"Aren't you?" she yelled, "I knew it! I've had it up to here with you high school boys! You act like you're so sweet and caring but I know the truth! You're all jerks! Jesse St. James tell me the freaking truth or I swear I'll—"

"Okay! Okay! Relax, Rachel!" he said, looking a bit frightened, "It's not like that. Well, not really." Rachel froze, arms still crossed, staring at him suspiciously.

"Not really? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Rachel knew she was over-reacting, but it felt good to let out all her pent-up frustration, resulting from all the times she'd been treated like shit by all the stupid guys in this stupid school.

"It's a long story," he argued.

"We have all period," she countered. Jesse sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Okay, Rachel, the truth is…I've been lying to you." Rachel's heart stopped. Had the Glee kids been right about him all along? She hated feeling like an idiot.

"You've been a spy for Vocal Adrenaline all this time, haven't you? You only started dating me, you only moved to this school, so that you could break up Glee, so that you can mess us up! I can't believe they were right about you. That was a really slimy thing to do, Jesse. Do you know how much that hurts – ?" Rachel said all of this very quickly, and Jesse stood there stupefied before he was finally able to get a word in.

"Calm down Rachel!" Jesse finally interceded, grabbing and shaking her by the shoulders, "That's not it at all!" Rachel closed her mouth and pouted.

"Then what is it? What have you been lying about?" Jesse removed his hands from her shoulders, but retained strong eye contact with her, trying to get across his sincerity.

"I care about Glee. A lot. I'm really in it with you guys all the way. I wouldn't betray New Directions, I swear." Rachel crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well…then why did you transfer to McKinley?"

"I was telling the truth when I said I moved schools to be with someone," he said slowly, "It's just…the thing is… I didn't move here to be with you." Rachel's initial shock quickly changed to anger.

"Then who?" she asked, her voice shrill, "Who ON EARTH did you move here to BE WITH? Was it Quinn? Brittney? Santana? So help me I will find out Jesse St. James, I will—"

"Kurt!" Jesse shouted at her. Rachel blinked.

"Excuse me?"

"I like you Rachel. I really do. But the thing is…I'm gay. And I'm with Kurt."

"You're what?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm gay, Rachel, gay. Honestly, I was surprised you hadn't caught on before. I mean, most people can guess…with the show tunes, the dramatics, the hair. And, I'm sorry, but all the romantic dinners, the matching clothes…no straight guy in their right mind would put up with that crap!" He laughed.

"You can't be serious…"

"Oh, but I am Rachel. Kurt and I are very happy together. I want to share our happiness with you."

"You've GOT to be KIDDING me!" Rachel shouted. She started pacing back and forth down the line of lockers.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. But we, Kurt and I, we were afraid of how the school might react to a gay couple in their midst. Especially with me being the new kid…"

"How did this happen?" said Rachel despairingly, still pacing, staring down at the floor.

"Well, we met at musical theatre camp last summer and it was love at first sight. We've been together almost four months next week," Jesse gushed.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Rachel groaned.

"Oh come on Rachel, don't be mad. I still care about you. We can still be friends." He smiled expectantly. Rachel stopped walking abruptly and glared up at him.

"Friends? FRIENDS?" she laughed manically, "And what would make you think I'd want to be friends with you after you…stringed me along like this? I thought I was in love with you, Jesse. And it turns out I was nothing but your… beard!" She felt like crying. Jesse, meanwhile, just pulled a slight sympathetic smile.

"Aw… poor baby," he cooed, "Well, if it makes any difference, you were a very nice beard. All well-groomed and soft…"

"Will you SHUT UP!" Rachel screamed. Jesse only shrugged.

"Look, I'm sorry Rachel, but you're just gonna have to accept that Kurt and I love each other. We're finally ready to show our love to the world."

"Is that so?"

"Yup," Jesse said happily, and then he seemed to see someone over Rachel's shoulder, "Oh look! Here he is now!" He waved enthusiastically. Rachel groaned internally and slowly turned around.

Sure enough, there was Kurt Hummel strutting towards them, his patent leather Prada shoes glinting and his hair perfectly styled. He beamed as he approached Jesse. As he arrived standing next to him, he asked excitedly:

"So did you tell her?" He gestured to Rachel.

"What do you think?" she snarled at him, but her tone of voice had no effect on the happy pair.

"Yeah, I told her," Jesse sighed contentedly, and he draped an arm over Kurt's shoulders. To Rachel's disgust, Kurt nuzzled in.

"Wow," Kurt breathed, "So… no more hiding, no more lying, no more pretending…"

"I know…it's such a relief! Now it's just you and me, baby…forever." Jesse turned towards Kurt with a smile and started attacking his neck. Kurt groaned in pleasure and wrapped his arms around Jesse. Soon, they were attached at the lips. You couldn't fit one of Kurt's issues of Vogue between them.

Rachel stood there, completely forgotten. Her hands balled into fists at her sides and her eyes bulged. She couldn't take her eyes off them, much though she wanted to. She could feel the fury building up inside her. It was contained behind a dam that was about to crack and explode.

"HELLO!" she bellowed at them, "WILL YOU PLEASE DETACH YOURSELVES FOR A MINUTE?"

They jumped at the sudden noise, and stopped mid-kiss, still refraining from taking their hands off each other. Instead, they cocked their heads towards Rachel, and Kurt laid his head on Jesse's shoulder. Their hands were interlocked, and Rachel noticed unhappily that both their faces were flushed; both their chests were rising up and down with labored breathing. Jesse frowned.

"Wow, Rachel, I thought you'd be okay with this. I mean with two gay dads and all…"

"Yeah Rachel," Kurt chimed in disapprovingly, "You're the last person we'd have suspected homophobic behavior from. I don't think it's very fair, Rachel. Everyone should have the right to love whoever they—"

"How dare you!" Rachel gasped, "I am NOT homophobic. My dads raised me to respect people regardless of their race, gender, religious views, political affiliations, OR sexual preference." Jesse held up his hands defensively.

"Okay, okay, no need to recite the LGBT handbook," he said. Kurt smiled slyly.

"Then, what is it, Rachel? Why does this bug you so much?" he asked. Rachel barked out a laugh, unbelieving.

"Um, let's see, how about, I don't know… COMMON HUMAN DECENCY? Ever thought that I don't WANT to see you and my boyfriend making out?"

"Well, Rachel, technically ex-boyfriend. He's my boyfriend now."

"I think I got that part, thanks," Rachel said sarcastically, "But I'm kind of in shock right now. I'm upset enough without you two rubbing your…association right in my face! Don't I deserve a little explanation? Can you seriously blame me for feeling a little upset over this? Jesse, you…lied to me. And Kurt, you…stole my boyfriend! Can't you both please, please try and see this from my perspective? Cut me a break!" She gazed at the two of them, desperately seeking their understanding, but they looked largely unaffected.

"I'm sorry, Rachel, again," said Jesse, that understanding smile playing on his face once again, "I know how much this must suck, but there was nothing else to be done. I'm sure you'll find someone else, someone who's not gay, or taken. And I do hope we can still be friends." Jesse came forward and patted Rachel on the hand. He then returned to Kurt, who was looking smug.

"And, about the whole 'stealing your boyfriend' thing," Kurt said, "Jesse was mine first, so I wasn't really doing anything wrong. Besides, I'm only returning the favor, Rachel." He grinned at her sweetly, but Rachel saw through the sugariness.

"But, but, Finn's straight, Kurt," she pointed out, knowing that was what he was referring to, "I didn't steal him from you. He never…he wasn't capable of liking you that way." Kurt flinched slightly, and his expression hardened. Rachel could tell the old wound still stung. Jesse eyes darted back and forth between Kurt and Rachel, bemused.

"Wait…Finn Hudson?" he asked, looking worried and angry. He faced Kurt. "You never told me you had something going on with Finn Hudson."

"I didn't," Kurt said firmly, his eyes still firmly fixed on Rachel, "Nothing was ever going on between us. It was a stupid crush, and now I'm over it." Rachel wasn't sure who he was telling this to: her, his boyfriend, or himself. Jesse looked relieved at Kurt's reassurance, however.

"Do you promise? I already had to deal with Finn going after Rachel…" Kurt returned Jesse's gaze finally, and he smiled comfortingly.

"Trust me, Jesse, you have nothing to worry about." Kurt pecked Jesse on the cheek. Then, like an afterthought, he addressed Rachel. "And…you say you didn't steal Finn because he's straight. If we're going by those terms, I didn't steal Jesse, because he isn't straight, and he could never like you 'that way'. Isn't that right, Jesse?" Jesse shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry, Rachel, you're pretty, but you do not have a penis…at least, as far as I know." Rachel couldn't help but laugh a little.

"So, I guess we're even, Rachel," Kurt said, a little triumphantly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Kurt raised a carefully shaped eyebrow.

"Really? I'm right? Rachel Berry is admitting I'm right?" Rachel wanted to laugh at the dumbfounded expression on his face. He'd expected an argument, a confrontation, and his pride was frankly a little hurt by her acquiescence. Rachel, meanwhile, felt she had come to some clarity on the situation, and, anyways, she liked to shock people sometimes.

"I'm not saying I approve or anything," she added quickly, "The way you went about the whole thing was totally wrong. You used me, and it really hurt, and I'm not sure if I can forgive either of you for that, but…I can see why you did it, and I guess I give you guys my blessing. I really hope you're happy together."

"Do you really mean that, Rachel?" Kurt asked, his voice soft. Rachel hesitated for a moment, then she nodded.

"Yeah, I think I do."

"Thanks," he said, smiling. They both felt the unspoken truce. Jesse, who was hugging Kurt from behind, finally spoke.

"So…I guess we'll see you in Glee, Rachel."

"Yeah, we better get going. Class starts soon," Kurt added. Rachel shrugged.

"Sure. Go ahead," she said, "See you later." They both smiled at her, and Jesse waved goodbye. Then, they turned and strolled back down the hallway, hand in hand.

Rachel watched them as they walked, wringing her own hands. She felt good taking the high road, but it pained her to do so. She told herself it was for the best, but that didn't stop her from wanting to run to the bathroom and cry.

But she only sighed, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and tried to think towards the future. She started back the way she came, thinking all the while: I wonder what Finn's doing tonight?

This is a fun story that just came to me one day. I meant it to be humorous, if not entirely in character, and it's not supposed to be taken seriously. I just think it would be hilarious if it happened this way in the show… Jesse leaving Rachel for Kurt. Please give me your input (comments, opinions, suggestions, criticisms). I appreciate reviews so much and I love all you readers and fellow Gleeks.