Hi Everyone! God, it's a long-long while now I've update anything, but now here it is! My ever first drama story, and I hope that you'll very enjoy it. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade and will never, it belongs to Takao Aoki.

Main-pairings: Kai X Takao (Tyka)

Side-pairings: Rei X Max (MaRe)

Inductions: Drama, Romance, sAngst, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship and a little Supernatural.

Warnings: boy x boy love, Yaoi, and Lemon (in later chapters)! If you don't like it then please push back button. Neither recommended to children, it's 'M'. You've been warned.

- 1. chapter -

The Shadow of Past

Darkness and cold covered the large room. Only the moon shone through the big window, giving some light. The fire, which gave warmth, was out of the fireplace. In the room were a lot of pictures on the walls. Most of them were from the family who had lived here in the mansion. On one side of the room was a big bed. A five year-old little boy was kneeling above it and cried desperately. The moonlight flashed brightly at the little boy's silky hair. It was dual haired. The back part was night black and the front part was fresh grey. The child's beautiful crimson eyes were shut, while tears ran down his face, which was red. His whole body shook because of his crying and by the pain he felt inside. His little hands clenched the silky bed sheet tightly as he buried his face into it.

Suddenly the door opened and a tall, big man came in. He was wearing a long black cape, his long grizzled hair showed that he was old, and his eyes were harsh and cold as he looked hateful down at the little boy. "Stop crying now! You are not a baby anymore!" the man shouted harshly at him.

The little boy looked back at the man with tears and fear in his eyes. He didn't understand this. Why was he so mean? What had he done to make him hate him so much?

"You and I are leaving tomorrow to Moscow and there you'll start the training in the abbey as I told you." he continued.

"No! I don't want to leave! I want my mommy! I want to stay here! I want to be with my mommy!" The boy cried desperately.

"Your mother is dead! And from now on you do as I say!" The black man shouted.

"Noo!" the little kid bawled and started crying even more.

"Shut your mouth! I can't believe that such a weakling is my grandson! A real Hiwatari never cries! In the abbey you will learn that too!"

"No! I won't!" He shouted in a breaking voice by the lot of cries. "Mommy! Daddy!"

"Why are you yelling for them? Your father left you, and he will never come back! It's his fault that your mother died. But you can avenge on him that you will become the strongest blader over the world, and you will destroy every blader who stand up against you!" The old man named Voltaire snapped and walked out from the room shutting the door behind him.

"Nooo!" The little boy cried after him and then he buried his head again in the sheet and let the hot tears flow down.

° ~ x * Ö * x ~ °

His dream faded away as mind came back to reality. His eyes opened slowly when the sun's first beams found his pale, face-painted cheek. His beautiful crimson eyes gazed distantly at the roof, while his heart was beating fast. His two-coloured hair was messy and his forehead was sweaty. 'That dream again. But why? Why does it still haunt me? It was so long ago. I thought I was finished with him after what happened on the first world championship. I thought it was over. I got rid of him. I'm free and he can never reach me or hurt me anymore. So why do I still have nightmares about my past?'

The teen's eyes still gazed the roof with dark, empty look. His expression was not the same that he showed every day. All his calmness, self-control and confidence was gone. His breath was heavy and wheezy and his eyes were full with sorrow and bitterness. These painful emotions could he never show to anybody and he always made sure to never let anybody come near him.

However, sometimes it would have been good to let go of everything… To let himself feel again. But he couldn't. He wouldn't risk getting hurt once again.

He closed his eyes again and tried to calm himself down. He took slow and deep sighs, while pushing away every bad thought. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. Not even his friends. He knew that they cared for him. They'd been friends since he realized how much they meant to him and even though he had betrayed them so many times they always forgave him.

Especially Takao Kinomiya. He was the one who Kai had hurt the most and still he'd reached out his hand and saved him from death. If Takao hadn't he would have sunk under the ice. God it was so long ago. And it wasn't only then Takao saved him. He was always there for him and ready to share his friendship with him, made him smile, and cheered him up when he'd had hard days. However, he didn't always manage. Sometimes his stupid jokes and his big mouth made Kai annoyed when he rather wanted to be alone.

Sometimes he needed some peace and quiet and to get away from the public. To the nature where he could just place himself under a tree, closing his eyes and simply listen to the silence. But he didn't just want to get away from people, but then again sometimes he wanted to get away from a certain person. Takao.

It was now two years since they'd had their final battle at the third world championship and since then things had change. All four of them became better friends after that. Kenny and Hilary had left to another country to study, so they were on their own. Rei and Max were living in the city in their own apartment as a couple and the four friends met every day. Kai was living with Takao in the dojo, since he and Gramps have offered him to. First he didn't want to accept it, but after Takao's pleading he said yes to his invitation, and he had to admit that he wouldn't like to return to his own mansion. The mansion was old and cold and it had been years since anyone had lived there. It wasn't like Kai didn't have enough money to get it back on track, but he didn't want to live in a house where he would be bothered with painful memories.

So, he was living with Takao and Gramps now, and sometimes with Hiro when he came home from his long travels. Luckily that wasn't often, because Kai and Hiro didn't exactly go well together. When Gramps first offered that Kai could sleep in Hiro's bedroom, the oldest brother shouted out right away that there was no freaking way he would share his room with Kai. Then again Takao didn't want Kai to sleep in the living room or the training room, so he offered that Kai could share his bedroom with the dual haired.

First it was hard for Takao and also for Kai to get used to the other, but after a while they'd gotten to know each other somewhat better and also learned the other one's habits. So it was not just each other's company, but their relationship grew stronger as well. Even so Kai was still stern and a loner, but he wasn't the same cold, heartless person anymore, and that Takao knew. Maybe that was why he behaved so friendly and nice towards the older male. He saw the light in Kai's heart and Takao's kindness had somehow paid off slowly.

Through the last years Kai realized how much Takao have grown too. He had become more mature and his presence affected Kai. His feelings towards the blue haired teen got deeper. First he didn't understand what was happening with him. He felt odd spasm in his stomach and his breath became heavy whenever Takao was near him.

Then he had finally realized that the feeling he felt towards Takao was similar to what he felt in their battles at the last championship. It was so full of passion and this wasn't anything about blades and battles anymore. No, this passion what he felt, trended straight towards Takao. How did that happen? How did he, Kai Hiwatari, fall in love with his greatest rival and best friend Takao Kinomiya? This was so incredible…and at the same time horrible, because this love could never be returned.

Takao and he were so different.

The bluenette was social, cheerful and smiled all the time, although he was sometimes thoughtless. Unlike Kai. He was more mature and cool headed. But there was something he'd always wanted. Something Takao had but he didn't. Namely the fact of being like everyone else.

But he wasn't like others and he never would be. He couldn't change things and he couldn't change what he was. That was why this love could never be returned. Takao needed someone who could give him love, who was open and happy and that, Kai wasn't. So he would make sure to keep this secret forever. He didn't want to hurt Takao or get rejected. Takao meant too much to ever do that.

He was still lying on his bed in their room relaxing. He didn't even hear when the door opened and somebody came in. The person sat on his bed beside him quietly. He was two years younger than Kai and he was slender, although he was eighteen now. With his mildly tanned cheeks he still looked like a child. His beautiful mahogany brown eyes gazed softly at the sleeping person beside him, while his silky, long blue hair was tied up in a ponytail, which lay gently on his shoulder. He smiled softly at the sleeping dual haired and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slowly.

"Kai, wake up. Max and Rei are already in the kitchen making breakfast. You should hurry if you don't want to miss it."

Takao's voice was angelic to Kai. He loved to hear his soft voice. There was nothing as beautiful as that voice he could ever hear. Feeling dizzy by the tiredness that his nightmare had caused, he opened his eyes slowly. His crimson eyes looked into deep mahogany brown.

"Takao,"

Kai's voice was hoarse and he looked dazed and unsure at the blue haired teen, like he didn't know if he was still dreaming or not. He felt himself mesmerized by Takao's eyes. They were so soft and warm. No wonder he fell for him. Who couldn't if such beautiful eyes looked at you?

The younger teen frowned by Kai's dazed look. It wasn't often that he saw the dual haired like this. Usually he was always so confident and calm. But now he looked so…restless. "Kai, are you alright? You're sweating," Takao placed his hand gently on Kai's sweaty forehead to see if it was hot. "Your temperature is normal so you aren't sick. What happened? You look pale. Shall I call Rei...or a doctor maybe?"

Feeling the bluenette's hand on him made Kai's heart beat wildly. He wasn't used to such a softness or being touched by someone. If you have lived before in so much pains and solitude and never felt care or love you wouldn't have known how to take it in either. It was scary and it hurt. Yes, it hurt for him to feel so many emotions that he'd denied so long. He couldn't take Takao's touch. He was afraid that if let Takao near him his secret might slip out and he could never do such a thing, 'cause he knew how much he would regret it. He blinked a few times, made his mind clear and let all his fuzziness disappear, before he gently but firmly took Takao's hand and pushed it away. For so to sit up.

"I'm alright Takao, you don't have to worry." Kai said and in his voice appeared again the same cold and straight tone.

"But you're sweating and I can see that something is wrong," Takao said and looked worried at him. After so many years he'd gotten to know Kai better now, but there were still lot of things that he still didn't tell him. Mostly about his past. Takao didn't want to push him about it, 'cause he knew that Kai would tell him when he wanted to. But he could see that there was still something that bothered Kai and even he didn't know what that was. But he wanted to help him and for not to mention comfort him. "Did you have a bad dream or something?"

The older teen didn't answer him, just turned away from him and looked into the distance. He couldn't look at him. If he did he would seem weak in his eyes. He couldn't let Takao see him like that.

The bluenette became sad of Kai's actions and for that he acted like he didn't care, but he made another shot. "It's okay if you feel bad. Everyone has bad dreams sometimes. It's not like it's something you should be ashamed of," Takao said comfortingly.

"I said I'm alright. Don't bother, Takao." the dual haired muttered half annoyed and clenched the bed sheets lightly. 'God, why do you have to do this to me, Takao? Why do you care? Why are you always so nice to me? Can't you see that it hurts so much?'

The bluenette couldn't read Kai's expression clearly, though he did feel that something wasn't right. He didn't want to make him mad or anything, so he didn't ask more questions. "Fine then. You can tell me when you want, okay? Anyways, you should get up now so we can leave in time for our trip."

"Okay, I will be down in five minutes." Kai said briefly.

Takao stood up and went to the door then he turned towards him again and smiled. "You know, I wondered how you could you fall asleep. If I don't remember wrong, you was always the one who woke up before the birds themselves," The bluenette said a little teasingly and Kai sent him a glare. "If you feel that you have problems with getting up early I can buy you an alarm clock, you know." The boy joked and grinned.

"Takao…" Kai warned and grabbed his pillow.

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving." The bluenette assured him quickly, waving his hands before he went out.

Kai then fell back on his bed and once again looked up the roof while he sighed. Why did he always have to act so cold towards the younger teen? Takao tried to cheer him up and he treated him like dirt. Sometimes he hated himself for this. Hated that he was cold and that he rarely was nice to the bluenette. But even so Takao always smiled and not with a fake smile either. It was a real smile.

Kai himself could never do this. He couldn't remember that he had ever smiled truly and happily, maybe he really couldn't, maybe it was a talent what he didn't have.

He glanced at his watch on the night table which showed 7.30, he knew that he should get up now really. He didn't understand why he'd agree to Rei's plan about going on this stupid trip to the mountains. He wasn't in the mood and certainly not after his nightmare. But maybe a little walk would make him better. He always loved to be in the nature. When he was alone there he could rest there and clear his thoughts. If only he didn't have feelings for Takao. He turned his head towards the window where the sun shone. He didn't know why but somehow he felt that this trip would be… different.

Outside the room Takao was still standing against the door with his head lowered down. He felt a strong pain in his chest whenever he wanted to help Kai or comfort him, because he always pushed him away. He knew that Kai had gone through lot and mostly awful things too. Awful things that he could only imagine. He didn't want to see him like this though. He wanted to see him happy, and smile. Just once he would like to see a real smile. He was sure Kai deserved a happy life too. He didn't care what other people said about the dual haired. Takao knew that nothing of it was true. They didn't know him. He was the most amazing person who Takao had ever met. Nobody have ever made him feel so…strong when he was with him.

Takao saw Kai's warm heart and his goodness. He just didn't know how he could make him open more. There was something in him. Something strange. A light. Maybe that was why Dranzer was warm, strong, fiery and self-sacrificing. For not to mention it was also said that the phoenix had the most powerful light. If they let it shine.

If only Takao could see Kai shine too. That was why he always wanted to be with him while searched his friendship and his trust. He wanted to awaken the light in him, so he could become himself again. Voltaire had ruined Kai's past and burnt out his light, but Takao would make it burn again. He would always work hard to make his days better, and maybe his feelings towards him would be returned. One day.

Takao opened his eyes slowly, which shone by the crystal tears. He didn't let them fall though. He smiled sadly for himself while he felt the agonizing pain in his heart, which meant one thing...

'Kai, if you knew how much I love you.' he thought.

End of first chapter.