My Life in a Nut Shell

It's been five years. Five years since I fell in love. Five years since my love left me. Five years ago, my love broke me, but it also gave me the most precious of gifts, my daughter, Katya. And the man responsible for my suffering and joy? Dimitri Belikov. Dimitri was on the team of guardians who brought my best friend, sister, and charge back to the Academy after running away two years before. He was my mentor. My own personal Russian god. He was my rock, my anchor to sanity and my hope of a future not ruled by spirit's darkness. He was my love, my lover.

After we gave into our feeling for each other in the cabin, the Academy was attacked by Strigoi. I was lucky; no one I loved was killed, but one of my closest friends, Eddie Castile, was taken, along with a dozen or so others. We went on a rescue mission and managed to recover eight of the twelve capture Moroi and Dampirs. Eddie was amongst then. Life at the 's Academy went back to normal after that, well, as normal as it could be. But there was only the underlining tension and grief. You could feel it. It clung in the air and tried to suffocate you. Yet, I was content. I had Dimitri. Lissa was safe, for the time being, and Pyro (Christian) and I were back to our old familiar bickering.

All was good and well for a week or so. Right away I noticed a change in Dimitri. He was distant. I could see a battle raging in him every time he looked at me. I tried to ignore it, be happy and untroubled for a little while longer, but I couldn't.

When I asked him what was wrong, he just put on his Guardian mask and changed the subject. A few days later, he was gone. I went to check if he was in his room but instead of finding my key under his mat, I found a note. It was addressed to me. Somehow, intuition I guess you could say, I knew what it would say. I brought it back to my room, sat on my bed, opened the letter and read.

Dear Rose,

I'm sorry I couldn't do this in person, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my resolve if I did. So I am writing you a note instead. I'm leaving. I've been offered a guardian job abroad and I took it. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I realized after the rescue mission that we can't be together. I love you, I always will, but we are Guardians. Please, Don't try and find me.

Love you always and forever

Dimitri Belikov

I spent the next few days in my room crying. On the third day, I realized that I needed to pull myself together. I had to be strong for Lissa. She needed me. We still had a month and half before graduation and she would need me. So, I put all of my pent up emotions into my training. I got up at the same time I would if I still had training with Dimitri, and well…I trained. And believe me, I trained hard! By the time graduation came around, I could take down any guardian at this school. Alberta was more difficult but sometimes I actually won. I graduated top of my class. I was, to no ones surprise, assigned to Lissa. We moved to court and, again, to no ones surprise, Christian accompanied us. They were going to be starting University in half a year.

A week or so after we moved to court, I started feeling…odd. I would puke at random timed. I ate more than usual and if you know me, you would have thought it impossible. But the thing that really had me stumped was the fact that my period was two weeks late.

You can understand why I was so confused, I mean, I'd only had sex once and it was with another Dampir, Dimitri. Dampirs can't have children with each other. It's genetically impossible. Lissa had noticed my symptoms too. To say that she was confused would be an understatement. I hadn't told her about Dimitri, so she till thought I was a virgin. She confronted me and I told her. Everything. Even though it was "impossible" for me to be pregnant, she made me take the test. And against all odds, it came back positive. I was pregnant. I was pregnant at eighteen! I was pregnant to another Dampir! We went to the doctor but I didn't tell her that my baby was the child of two Dampirs. I didn't want he or she to be some science experiment. Every one would want to do tests on us. So, I let them believe what they wanted to believe. Some said I was just a blood-whore, some thought Adrian was the father. We all had a good laugh about that theory.

So, life went on. I had a beautiful baby girl and named her Katya. I means pure in Russian. I tried to contact Dimitri. I thought he should know that he was going to be a father, even if he didn't want to be in our lives. But, I couldn't find him. No one seemed to know where he was.

Lissa and Christian took a year off of school to help me raise Katya. Even my mom pitched in. I think she was trying to make up for missing my childhood. When Katya turned two Liss and Fire Boy went back to school and I went with them. I wasn't there as their Guardians but I still went. They finished school a year ago now, and e moved back to court. I'm a Guarding Lissa again now and Katya goes to the school here at court.

As for my love life, it is non-existent. Adrian and I tried to be more than friend for a while but I couldn't do it. He's like a brother to me. I am happy. I love my daughter. She is smart, funny, beautiful, and just overall perfect. She is a perfect combination of Dimitri and I. She has my figure thought she will be taller than me. She has my hair and Dimitri eyes. Utter perfection. But there is always a part of me that is yearning for Dimitri. I miss him so much. If it weren't for Katya, Liss, and, dare I say, Pyro, I don't know how I'd deal with the pain. But I do have them. Like they say; life goes on.