Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect or any of its characters, and I'm not making money for this.

(A/N: Written for a challenge on the kink meme, though I won't say what because it'll ruin the effect. I love reviews!)

To say Garrus was nervous was an understatement. He'd gotten to the point where he had (apparently incorrectly) assumed that the awkwardness would be over with Shepard. They'd been together a year, almost to the day (depending on when they counted the beginning of 'them'), and here Garrus was, looking at the email Shepard sent him, worried, scared, and nervous to an extent he'd never thought he could reach. Geth – worrisome, but not a new threat. Collectors – creepy as hell, nerve-wracking. Reapers – pretty damn scary. Shepard emailing him about "getting together to discuss something important" – fucking terrifying.

Shepard had been meeting with Anderson and Udina for the last few days, making a last-ditch effort to talk some reinforcements out of the Alliance and the Council. She had downtime, but as she'd told Garrus in another email, the negotiations left her in such a foul mood, all she really felt like doing after them was going out drinking with Anderson, bitching about politics and reminiscing about the old days, then passing out in a nicely furnished visiting diplomat suite. She'd apparently let their relationship slip to Anderson sometime after her fourth shot of tequila, but even after he sobered up, he didn't seem to mind, aside from the possible complications if they broke up while he was on her squad. While Garrus knew it would be a bad idea for the two of them to get too public with their relationship, he couldn't help but feel a swelling of pride on the occasion Shepard could claim him to someone. Damn near everything Shepard did in regards to him made him feel good.

Which was predominantly why he was so scared of this failing.

He'd never admit it to anyone, though he suspected Shepard knew, but he had used the extranet when he was alone to watch some human vids about relationships. Nothing like the obscene things Mordin sent the two of them, movies he'd heard other humans regard as "chick flicks." He got the impression the movies were intended for women, and while some of the things didn't make sense to him, he did think they helped him to understand Shepard at least a little bit better. He had also learned from them that the phrase "we need to talk" is one of the most terrifying things someone in a relationship could ever hear. He didn't let on how worried he was to Shepard, instead deciding to just enjoy the time he had left with her. He promised himself he wouldn't let things get awkward on the ship afterwards; their mission was too important. He felt dumb for even letting himself entertain the thought of them staying together. He should've known that night before on the way to the Omega relay was just stress-releasing sex. But he had to go fuck things up by falling in love with Commander Annika Shepard, the single most important person in the galaxy.

After three days of rising panic, the night he was meeting Shepard finally arrived. He stared at the limited wardrobe he had and sighed heavily. He'd heard of the restaurant she'd made reservations at. It was one of the nicest in the Citadel. He'd never been before, since he'd never really been serious enough about anyone else to bother with such an expensive place. That and Garrus wasn't a terrible cook and could usually make something himself for another turian, but Garrus and Shepard had both learned several months ago that they were incapable of cooking food suitable for the other. Garrus took a deep breath and grabbed the nicest thing he had – ironically enough the same thing he'd worn on his first night with Shepard. As he slowly pulled on his clothes, dread pooling in the bottom of his stomach, he wondered why she would take him to such a nice place just to dump him.

He knew Shepard. He knew that she had a good heart and a good head on her shoulders. Half the paranoid things his mind suggested he knew couldn't possibly be the case, but he was too worried to thoroughly convince himself of it. What if word had gotten out about their relationship and she wanted to break things off in a public place so everyone would know it was over? Another even worse thought entered his mind – what if she wasn't breaking up with him, what if something was wrong with her? What if she was dying? He bit at his talons even more worried now. She'd never had particularly horrible reactions to… ingesting things, just the occasional break out of hives or a sore throat. What if it was cumulative? What if after a year of interspecies sex she'd gotten some horrible and incurable ailment that was going to kill her? If she died, no one would be able to stop the reapers and the destruction of the entire galaxy would be all Garrus' fault.

Fuck.

Garrus got the outfit on and went over to the bed, sitting down and taking a deep breath. He couldn't think like this. Maybe everything was fine. Maybe he was worrying for nothing. True, a lot of things in his life had fucked up, but his relationship with Shepard seemed to be going pretty well. She had never failed to inform him when he did something she didn't like, both in and out of the bedroom. If something was wrong, she would've told him, right? He rubbed his fringe and took some more deep breaths, standing back up. He was going to be late if he didn't leave soon, and waiting was only making him feel worse. He grabbed his personal effects and headed to the bridge and off the ship.

Despite his nervousness, when he first spotted Shepard waiting for him outside the restaurant, he was immediately struck my how wonderful she looked. He'd never found humans attractive before her, but now that they were together, he had at least adapted to finding her beautiful. He didn't really have an eye for other humans, but he didn't care to have eyes for anyone but Shepard anyway. She was wearing a thing, something she'd called a dress. He'd only seen her wear it one other time, when she was meeting her mother for dinner a few months back. Garrus had never met Shepard's family before, but she'd never met his father either, so he didn't push it. He knew that being introduced to your lover's parents was a big step in a relationship, but Shepard hardly ever got to see her mother herself, so he understood that things might happen slowly in that regard.

The dress was a pale gold, and it made her dark brown shoulders and arms seem to glow. Her face always had a glow about it regardless. When he told her this before, she'd usually wave it off as a side-effect from the Lazarus Project, and he'd drop it since she always got embarrassed when he complimented her too much, but he knew that wasn't it. She smiled and walked over to him, taking his hand and leading him over to the maitre d'.

"Damn did I miss you, Garrus. I'm glad these talks are over. Didn't really get very far with the Alliance or the Council, but I had to at least try," she said, beaming up at him. She started to talk to the maitre d', but the asari recognized the famous Commander Shepard and already grabbed menus to seat her. She looked Garrus over slightly suspiciously, but knew better than to get snarky with a paying customer, especially one with so much money to throw around.

"Commander Shepard, we have you a window table if you'd like that?" she asked, getting a nod from Shepard, then leading them over, handing them each a different menu when they sat down. "A server will be right here to help you. We also have several wines safe for both humans and turians if you'd like." She smiled cordially and went back to her desk.

"I missed you, too, Shepard. You look fantastic," Garrus said now that they were alone. He opened his menu and set it on the table, reaching across for Shepard's hand, which she gave him readily, squeezing his gently. She slipped off one of her heels under the table and gently rubbed his leg. She knew he couldn't feel it that much, but as was the case with a lot of their non-sexual physical contact, it wasn't about how it felt physically. It made Garrus happy just knowing she was touching him. He tried to relax a bit, seeing her happy and apparently well made it easier. She ordered wine for them, a really expensive bottle when the waiter arrived. Garrus didn't like that all the food was so expensive. It wasn't really a macho thing, he just felt guilty that they were supposed to save the galaxy and were wasting creds on a fancy dinner.

It wasn't his money to spend though, so he never complained. He just piled that guilt on to the already massive pile he had stashed away in his mind. Shepard could tell he was uneasy, her green eyes constantly looking him over as if the source of his turmoil would be evident on his features. She made small talk with him, going over the boring details of her meetings until they ordered their food and the waiter went away. Her expression got more serious, concern overtaking her features.

"Garrus, is something wrong?" she asked bluntly, making him look down at his lap and fidget.

"It's… nothing," he said, but the look she gave him in response pretty adequately conveyed that she knew that was bullshit. "Okay, it's not nothing. I've… been a little worried ever since you emailed me about meeting up. Wanting to… talk." He looked at her with a mixture of embarrassment, fear, and hope. He was embarrassed to admit how he was feeling, scared he was right, but hopeful that he wasn't. Shepard sighed.

"Garrus, don't worry about that. We'll talk after dinner. I'm trying to stay calm about it myself. Let's just enjoy dinner for now. Take this one thing at a time," she said. Garrus didn't know what to make of her tone of voice or her body language. She seemed apprehensive and nervous. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was breaking things off. But if she was nervous, maybe she hadn't made up her mind yet and he could change it if he was really nice and sweet.

"Right. Dinner first. This is a really nice place, too. I've heard about it, but I've never really been close enough to a woman to go here with them," he said. He spread his mandibles in the turian form of a smile and added, "Which makes me really glad that I can be here with you first."

Shepard relaxed a bit as well when he said that. He didn't know if that was good or bad. Was he overdoing it? Did he just push her to decide breaking up with him was okay? He took a gulp of wine and looked down at the table. Shepard looked out the window a bit dreamily at the stars outside.

"I can't wait to get back on the Normandy. The suite I'm staying in might be half the size of the whole ship, but it just doesn't feel right. The Normandy's home. It feels like my whole family's there," Shepard said. Garrus nodded his agreement.

"While you were gone, Tali and I were checking out a few more upgrades as well. We've been arguing about whether or not we should add more weapons or not. EDI and Jack like the idea, too, but I think Jack likes any implement of destruction and neither of us really think EDI needs to make decisions about arming herself further. Tali still doesn't trust her very much," Garrus said. Talking about tech things calmed him down a bit more. He knew tech. He was good at that. Shepard grinned.

"Joker sure seems to like Edi though. Ever since he unshackled her, those two have gotten more and more friendly. If we were still on speaking terms with Cerberus, I'd ask how much control EDI has over her own hologram," Shepard said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Garrus couldn't help but chuckle at it.

"You insist that there's something going on between the two of them. You think a lot of our squad is together. Just because we didn't care enough to let interspecies difficulties get between us doesn't mean everyone on board doesn't," Garrus said with a grin. Shepard sighed exasperatedly.

"Have you heard Joker and EDI talk? They flirt constantly! And it's not like he can actually have sex with a real woman because of his disease. Why not an AI who could make a weightless holo of herself?" Shepard argued with conviction. Garrus put up his hands in mock surrender.

"Fine, fine. You win. Joker and the ship are clearly together," he said with a laugh in his voice. He met Shepard's eyes and they both smiled. Shepard still looked at him with that deep, heartfelt longing that she had for months, and he returned the look. He felt better. If there was anything Shepard was bad at, it was lying to him. She could lie to other people, but Garrus knew when she was lying. She still loved him. He hoped that meant she wasn't leaving him. He couldn't see why she would leave him if she loved him, but he always worried, and that little niggling feeling stayed at the back of his mind.

Shepard and Garrus talked about the ship, about the incoming reapers, about what they did in their time apart. They ate fairly quickly, Shepard obviously in a rush to get to the talking part, and Garrus eager to find out what the talking was about so he could stop fucking worrying about it. They finished off the bottle of wine together, then Shepard paid the bill and took Garrus out of the restaurant and to the elevator.

"So… where are we going?" Garrus asked nervously, looking away from Shepard. She squeezed his hand, both to comfort him and rally her own spirits.

"Back to my suite. I want to show you the room. It's really gorgeous and the view's amazing. We can… talk there," she said the last bit quietly. Garrus glanced at her and started to feel scared again. Shepard looked worried. She hardly ever looked unsure of herself. She'd been two minutes from charging into the Collector's base on a suicide mission and still looked like she was ready to kick ass and take names. Seeing Shepard scared made Garrus feel a hundred times worse. He felt like his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as the elevator dinged and stopped on her floor. Her hand was getting sweaty as she tugged him along out of the elevator to the suites, taking another, smaller elevator to the floor her room was on.

They barely said anything on the way this time, both being thoroughly assaulted by their own nerves. Shepard's hand shook as she swiped the keycard to open her suite, pushing the door open and stepping inside, holding the door for Garrus. Garrus walked inside, and as Shepard closed the door, they both got even quieter, if that was possible. They didn't look at one another, and Shepard walked over to the panoramic window, looking around at the lights of the Citadel and the stars beyond.

Garrus looked around the room. It really was a great room. He found, however, that he couldn't care less about that. He looked at Shepard standing in front of the glass. Outside everything was black or a various color of light, all of it so distant. Shepard looked so alone standing there, her skin not dark enough to blend in, but not light enough to stand out. The dress clung to her in some places, making her look beautiful in a tragic sort of way. Garrus didn't care how scared he was, he knew he had to go to her.

He walked up, and noticed Shepard's shoulders were shaking. She wasn't crying, but she looked more nervous than he'd ever seen her. He'd always been the nervous one in their relationship, and he couldn't help but pull her into his arms. She hugged him back, gently nuzzling his chest lightly enough to not hurt herself on his plates. He rubbed her lower back in response, then stepped back a bit and looked down at her.

"Shepard… we're both obviously really worked up about this. Let's get it over with. What did you want to talk about?" Garrus suggested quietly. Shepard paled a bit, but nodded. She couldn't quite look him in the eye, and her she spoke haltingly.

"I… I'm not sure how turians normally do this kind of thing… we never talked about it, so I'm sorry if I do this wrong…" Shepard started, taking a step back. Garrus fidgeted even more now, but didn't stop her.

"I don't know exactly what we are right now. I mean… I love you. And I know you love me. I guess you're my boyfriend, but… I don't know, the word sounds so… juvenile. It doesn't…," She stops, shaking her head again as if trying to erase what she just said.

"I guess… what I'm trying to say is…" she takes a deep breath and looks into his eyes, "I don't want you to be my boyfriend or whatever we are now." Garrus's eyes widened and he almost began to panic, but she finished her thought before he could get a decent freak-out going. "I… th-think I'd rather… rather you be my… husband."

She had whispered the last word, but Garrus had heard it just fine. He was fairly certain he'd forgotten how to breathe. He went speechless, an intoxicating mix of euphoria and desire bubbling up inside him. Shepard looked back up at him, fear and hope commingling on her face. He was too happy to even find the words to answer her, letting his body pick up the slack, grabbing her around her waist and lifting her up, pinning her against the window. He couldn't kiss her with his lips, but he knew the gesture and emulated it as best he could, pressing his mouth gently but heatedly against her lips and running his hands up and down her sides.

She practically melted in his arms, smiling and kissing all over his face, kicking off her heels in the process. Garrus pulled back from her just slightly as he felt her hands on the bottom of his shirt, leaning back so she could pull it up and off. He slid his hands under her dress and felt around for her panties, a nemesis he had grown quite familiar with over the past year, though he hated them significantly less than that horrid "bra" thing she wore on her chest. Her panties felt flimsy enough that he didn't bother trying to pull them down and off while she was against the window. He just hooked a talon under each side and ripped the offending article of clothing away from her, making her moan at his eagerness.

She grabbed Garrus's chin, looking him in the eyes with lust and happiness and complete satisfaction. Or at least satisfaction emotionally. Though Garrus wasn't planning on the physical satisfaction being too far behind. She kissed his mouth again as he hiked up her dress to her waist, holding her against the window by her thighs. She got the message without being told and reached down to undo his pants, pulling out his almost fully-grown erection. He grunted a bit as she handled him, but they both knew they weren't wasting time on unneeded foreplay. He lifted her up again, holding on to her hips as he positioned himself, and then slid slowly inside her tight heat.

She let out a deep, throaty moan as they connected, stopping to suck in a breath once he was fully engulfed in her. He paused like he always did, though she hadn't needed time to adjust to him in a while. As he slowly began to move inside her, she let her head gently drop back against the window. She wrapped her legs around his waist, hooking her ankles together to support herself a bit, reaching out to stroke his fringe, his neck, and his mandibles. He growled his appreciation and quickened his pace slightly, but they both wanted it slow and deep right now.

Shepard moaned constantly as he pushed in and out of her. No human guy had ever made her feel so good, but she figured that had more to do with emotional connection than actual anatomy. Garrus made her heart flutter and every nerve in her body sizzle. His sharp nails scratched at her sides, bit she had gotten used to them by now. The skin on the inside of her thighs had become thicker from the friction of his legs and hips against hers. Every part of her had grown to accommodate him, her heart included.

Her eyes rolled back in her head as Garrus shifted a bit, his cock rubbing against her g-spot teasingly soft, and she arched back a bit, her head knocking on the window a bit, but not hard enough for her to give a damn. She clenched down onto Garrus, making him groan and pick up the pace again, no longer going slowly, but still not very fast. He made love to her in long, sensuous strokes, making sparks run up her spine. She ran her nails over his neck, causing him to suck in air quickly with a hiss. He stepped away from the window slightly, Shepard's shoulders still pressed against the glass, but her torso laying a bit flatter, giving him room to reach down and carefully rub her clit, making sure to use the pad of his finger and not his sharp talon.

Her back arched up hard as she teased her clit. She moaned particularly loudly, hands starting to claw involuntarily at the thick, cool glass behind her. Garrus's mandibles flexed in his version of a smirk. She always did that when she was getting close. She'd torn a few pillowcases and sheets on particularly good nights, and he loved watching her involuntary movements while he pleasured her. He loved knowing he could make her do that. Her thighs started to tremble around him and he knew she was getting close. He wanted to cum with her, so he leaned his head forward a bit, nuzzling her chest. She saw what he wanted and reached out a hand to caress his fringe, her movements shaky and erratic, trying to hold back and wait for him. Garrus groaned at the feeling of her squeezed so tight in restraint on his cock, and combined with her stroking, he felt himself quickly approaching his climax as well.

Shepard still came first, her breath hitching and a quiet moan starting at the back of her throat, escalating in volume as her spasms became more intense. Garrus gave it to her hard and fast as she came, trying to push himself over as well. A few seconds after Shepard hit her crescendo, Garrus peaked as well, groaning her name loudly, his load gushing into her. She pushed back off the window and grabbed his shoulders, clinging to him and panting, her dress sticking to her with sweat. Garrus pulled out once he had finished and gently lowered himself and Shepard onto the plush, carpeted floor.

Shepard flopped onto her back lifting up to get the sweat-logged dress off before she got it even messier. She threw it across the room, and it landed somewhere on the other side of the couch. She and Garrus continued to lie there a moment, panting and glowing. Shepard rolled over onto her knees after recuperating a bit and crawled over to Garrus. He sat up and smiled at her as though there was nothing wrong in their world. As far as they were concerned, at least for the next few minutes, there was nothing wrong with their world. It was just the two of them and everything was perfect. Shepard smirked as she looked over at Garrus.

"So… technically you didn't answer the question. For the record, was all that a yes?" she asked coyly. Garrus pulled her into his lap, nodding emphatically.

"Definitely," he said. Shepard's smile got even wider. She knew he'd of course meant it before, but hearing him say it made it that much better. She hugged him tightly, a few tears running down her cheeks and onto his shoulder. Garrus nuzzled her neck and pretended he didn't cry a little either.