TITLE: I Need You

SUMMARY: Olivia needs Natalia in more ways then Natalia could ever dream of. Can Olivia finally give into her deepest emotions and confess her love for her soul mate? Or will she run as she had in the past? Can Natalia fight and find a way to finally get Olivia to know that she needs her just as much? Will a terrible crime destroy both women or will it bring them ever more closely together?

This is set just after Olivia's 'death' at Company in October, '08. I had moved Natalia selling Gus's house to protect Rafe up by a week or two.

CATEGORY: Friendship/ Family/ Romance/ Drama/ Suspense/ Crime/ Tragedy/ Spiritual

RATING: T

PRELUDE

"I need you." Olivia stared into Natalia's eyes.

"I know. I'm here." Natalia said with smile. Her hand reached over, and lightly brushed the older woman's hair aside.

"I need you." Olivia whispered as she closed her eyes and pulled away. She tried to get her emotions under control. She couldn't allow the younger woman to realize the truth. If Natalia ever got a hint of her true feelings towards her – her love for her – then the young Italian woman would run away from her. She would lose the only true friend she ever had since Buzz. Even Buzz wasn't her friend until they became lovers.

"Olivia." Natalia said with unsureness in her voice. "Olivia!" Her hand was all ready on her cell phone to call the ambulance.

"Don't." Olivia said sill with her eyes closed. "It's not Gus's heart."

"Then what is it?" Natalia asked sitting down next to her best friend on the end of the bed. "Talk to me, Olivia, please." She whispered the last as she laid her head on the older woman's shoulder. Her brown eyes were upturned waiting for the emerald eyes to open once more.

"I need you." Olivia whispered.

"I'm here." Natalia said lifting her hand to lightly trace the older woman's jaw line. "I'm right here."

Olivia's eyes opened, and she stared into the open brown eyes of her soul mate. So opened, and so ripe for the truth. Her soul cried out for her to just tell the truth. To just state her love for this beautiful creature next her. She read the trust in the brown eyes.

She knew she couldn't destroy that trust. She turned her eyes away from the brown ones. Missing the disappointment, and sadness in them at her action. She pulled away from the moment, and away from the touch of the younger woman. She couldn't handle the touch. Because she knew she would break if she did. She would die if she destroyed this woman whom had stolen her heart and soul.

Gus's heart. Olivia stood to her feet, and walked across the suit to stand by the double doors that led to the living area. Towards where Emma's bedroom was located. It was Gus's heart that drew Natalia to her. Only Gus's heart. After all when Gus was still alive; Natalia hated her. Natalia despised her. Now that Gus is dead and his heart is inside her chest, keeping her alive – Natalia wants be to close to it. In order to do that, Natalia has too fight down her loathing of her to be near her dead husband's, her dead soul mate's heart.

"Olivia." Natalia softly said as she watched Olivia stiffen up against the door. "Don't do this." She forcefully said as she stood to her feet. She walked the few feet that separated them. Reaching out, and laying a hand on her friend's which was resting on her hip.

Olivia jerked back from the touch, her elbow slamming against the door. Unbidden tears rose and rolled down her cheeks. She quickly moved into the living space – out of her bedroom. Away from the bed that made her want to do things to the younger woman. Things that she would never be able to make reality. "You need to leave." She said in a forceful voice. "Now."

"I can't leave you like this." Natalia said shaking her head. She was hurt by Olivia's reaction when she touched her. Hurt to the core. She wasn't going to leave her friend whom so desperately needed her.

Fire leaped into emerald eyes, "I'm ordering you out of here, Natalia. So do as you are told bitch, and leave my home now."

"You call this home! This is a hotel room, Olivia Spencer. A room in a hotel. Not a home." Anger rose easily up into Natalia's system as she once more started to fight with Olivia. She sighed inwardly, Why can't we ever have a normal conversion? Why does most of our time around each other end up with us screaming at each other? Why is yelling so much easier than just being calm and rational?

"Do I insult where you live? Frankie's room at the "Boarding house" above Company? At least I own the hotel where I call home!" Olivia's voice rose even higher. "You are to damn afraid to own your own home. A house that is just waiting for you to buy!"

"I did own my own house. Gus's house which he bought for his family. Then you bought it from underneath me!" Natalia forced the tears from spilling. She fought them back as she glared into the fire blazing eyes of the hurt woman in front of her. She knew that this was just a ploy to distract her from the real reason why Olivia was upset.

"I gave you the house back." Olivia shrugged.

"I bought it back." Natalia's head lifted proudly.

"I gave it back." Olivia gloated. "I put the money in a trust fund for you and Rafe."

"W-w-what?" Natalia breathed out.

"Nothing." Olivia seethed. "Forget it."

Natalia quickly moved closer, and grabbed the older woman's right shoulder. She held on firmly as Olivia tried to jerk away. "Not this time, Olivia." She seethed. She looked into Olivia's green eyes and tried to get past the blockage that Olivia was trying to put in her way. "Damn it, stop it." She growled lowly.

"Let me go." Olivia twisted to get away from Natalia's touch, but the younger woman just held on stronger. Very quickly her other hand was on her other shoulder. She tried to planet her feet on the black and white checked floor – to prevent the younger woman from pulling her closer. "Please just let me go."

"No." Natalia whispered; her mouth close to Olivia's right ear. "Stop fighting this, Olivia. Just stop fighting all ready."

Olivia tried desperately to struggle out of Natalia's grasp, but every twist and turn were met. She could feel the firm round breasts of the younger woman against her own. She could feel the slow, and steady heartbeat against her own erratic one. She could feel the hot breath on her skin, and she just wanted to melt. But, she had to firmly remind herself why Natalia was hugging her so close to her. Why Natalia was pleading with her to quite fighting. Why Natalia was so willing to holding her tightly against her.

It was all due to Gus's heart. Not because of her soul. It was Gus's heart that drew Natalia too her. It would never be her soul.

Tears welled up even more in her eyes. "Please," Olivia whimpered in Natalia's ear as she stopped struggling. "Just let me go."

Natalia pulled away on the intent on fighting Olivia. But Olivia's emerald eyes spoke more volume on how truly fragile, and broken this woman was whom was in her arms. Her hands slid up strong and firm arms to the sides of a swan like neck. "You need me." She softly said, "But, I need you also."

Olivia chocked, "You need me to remain alive, to keep Gus's heart beating." She pushed herself out of Natalia's slacked arms. She moved backwards away from the younger woman. "That's fine with me, Natalia. Truly that's fine with me."

"I need you to remain alive because of whom you are." Natalia cried out in a passionate voice. "I need you to remain for Emma, Ava, Buzz. I need you to remain alive for me."

"You need me to remain alive for you because of Gus." Olivia said in toneless. Defeat in her eyes. "Like I said, I'm fine with that." Her hand rose to her chest where her heart – sorry Gus's heart was located. "You shouldn't have given Gus's heart to me, Natalia. You should have picked someone more deserving, more -"

Tears rolled freely down Natalia's cheeks, "Stop Olivia!" She screamed. "Just stop now!"

"Why?" Olivia demanded in a hard voice. "Aren't you the one whom is forever telling me to tell the truth." A warn smile came to her full lips, "Well, we both know that the only reason why you are around me is because of Gus's heart. Without that you wouldn't be here with me. Not willing. Not otherwise." Her heart hurt even worse with these words. She wanted to reach up and rub it – but she wasn't going to give Natalia that excuses to stay.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Natalia said moving forward. But one tortured look from Olivia and she stopped. "You are so impossible at times, Olivia Spencer." She shook her head as she stared at the fragile older woman in front of her. "How can I get through all those protective layers that you had put up so longer ago?"

"I don't need you here anymore. Please leave." Olivia begged. She fought to get her voice under control once more. "Go and live your life."

"I don't think wise for me to leave you like this." Natalia sighed. "But, I can tell you aren't truly up for a good long fight." She eyed Olivia's chest before lifting her eyes once more. "You have to promise me that you are going to get the rest you need. Also if you need me call me."

"I always call you when I need you." Olivia whispered. "Always." She cleared her throat. "I pay you to take care of me after all."

Natalia blinked as she wanted to break in and fight that statement. "You are impossible. How can I break through – when your worst enemy truly is yourself." She moved passed the older woman to the door. Turning, "I do need you, just as much as you need me. Not because of Gus's heart. I'll prove it to you once and for all, Olivia Spencer." She left the suit.

Olivia just blinked as the door clicked shut. "Natalia," She sighed softly, "you'll never need me as much as I need you." Her hand rose and felt her chest and knew by the skips that her heart was begging her to allow it to rest. She wished she could finally allow it to rest – but how can she when she knew she could never give it what it truly wanted. Natalia's love.

END OF PRELUDE