I do not own Harry Potter.

The way Harry should of dealt with the 'big and squashy on the doormat- it was alive!'

HP book 1 Chapter Three letters from no one.

The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys.

He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights. He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.

His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door – "AAAAARRGH!" Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat – something alive!

He landed on the squashy thing. What was it, a giant bug! HE jumped up and down intending to get rid of it then and there. It made the most interesting sounds a, squawk, gurgle a crack!. He felt something warm and sticky creep into his too big shoes and socks. A metallic smell in the air. Harry stopped jumping up and down, he made his way to the light switch turned it on.

To his horror there lay his uncle with trainer prints all over his front and with a bloody nose not moving. Oh BUGGER. "Um Aunt Petunia. I think I might of killed Uncle Vernon."

Fortunately Vernon was fine but he divorced a distraught Petunia taking Dudley with him to get away from the 'freakishness' the only thing she said was "Good riddance."