Hey guys, another random story for the in between time you're having to go through! Of course it's yaoi, SasuNaru, & it's kinda sad. Basically, you know what to look out for & you have been warned :)
I kneeled and placed the roses on the stone. I pulled my jacket against me tighter as a shiver passed through me.
"Hey, Baby. I know it's been a while.." I whispered, wiping dirt away from his name.
I felt a tear slide down my cheek, but I didn't bother wiping it away.
"You died two years ago, and it still feels like it was yesterday. It's still so hard without you..."
I've been through a lot in my life, if I do say so myself. I've been hurt, manipulated, and deceived. But the hardest thing I've ever done is hold his hand as he went.
When the doctor told him he was sick, I was the one who cried. He just smiled and held me.
"Shh.. It's okay, babe. You're tough, I'm tough. We'll make it through this. There's nothing I can't bounce back from!" he yelled.
It was silly of me, but I believed him then. I didn't want to lose him. So if he said we'd make it, I wanted to believe that we could. The hope that I held on to made it a lot worse later on, as his hair got dull, his eyes lost their shine, and his smile became weak.
It wasn't right, nor was it fair. He had just become an ANBU and had been teaching a defense class at the academy. Everyone loved him. He was on the fast track to his dreams. We had been together for three years, ever since he'd drug my ass back to Konoha.
But he still tried to act normally and do what the doctors said. He took all of the medications and treatments, changed his diet completely, and treated his body better. It didn't matter. The disease was on a war path and not even Kyuubi could stop it.
His health deteriorated in front of us. The nights got longer and longer, as he would wake up crying only to puke his guts out and try not to let me see him so weak.
I asked him why one day; why he wouldn't let me see his pain or let me console him.
"Because, sweetie. This disease? It isn't me. The pain isn't me. I don't want you to have to console me. I don't want to have this disease. I want to deal with the disease myself. All I want you to do is love me anyway, regardless of the fact that I'm dying, okay? Please. Just love me anyway," he said.
And I understood. From then on, we didn't discuss the sickness. We addressed it silently as he became weaker and there were more and more things he couldn't manage. I helped him quietly and he would just smile in thanks and call me 'his Teme.'
Towards his last months, he was admitted to the hospital once more. They ran tests and did what they could, but it was obvious that the end was near.
Everyone he had ever talked to showed up at that hospital. They brought flowers and cards and filled up the quiet visiting hours with chatter of what they would do when he got better. He smiled and laughed along while they were there. It was the polite thing to do. But really, it pissed me off.
It was so rude of them. Granted, they didn't know what it would be like that night when they were gone. They didn't understand what it was like to be there much later, lying next to him as he cried from the pain and the nausea.
They didn't know the look in the nurses eyes as they saw that visiting hours didn't apply to you. They didn't hear his screams or moans or curses.
"Why did this have to happen to me? Why?" he asked one night.
I petted his hair and kissed his forehead. A tear slipped from his eye as I did this.
"I don't know, baby. I just don't know. They say only the good die young. So it would make sense that I would lose you and I would be perfectly fine. But it's not very fucking fair," I answered.
"No. No, it's not. I'm.. I'm so scared.." he whispered, voice trailing off.
It was the first time we'd spoken of the bad stuff in months. We couldn't ignore it anymore.
"Why are you afraid? Whatever it is, I'll make it go away," I said, steeling myself to defend him from what I could.
"You can't help with this fear.." he said. I was confused.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because," he answered, "I'm scared for you. What will you do without me around?" he asked, smiling a small smile.
I smiled back.
"That's a good question.. But I wouldn't worry about that. You don't need to be wasting energy on me. You'll take my whole heart with you, but I don't think I'll need that to make it," I said jokingly.
"No," he said. "I don't want it to be that way. I don't want you to be unhappy!" he said, exciting himself.
"I won't be able to bear it if I know you're not happy here!" he shouted.
"Shhh," I whispered. "Don't you get it? There is no happiness without you. None," I said, and wrapped him in my arms.
And he cried.
It was the next week that they let him come home.
He didn't have much longer, they said. He needed to be comfortable. So we were careful for the week. No over exertion. Nothing too draining.
But I couldn't keep the inevitable at bay.
One day, I woke up to find him already awake and staring at me. Usually he slept in late because he didn't have the energy to get up anymore, but today he was staring at me intently.
"What's wrong, baby?" I asked sleepily.
"I'm going to die today," he answered.
I was wide awake in about two seconds.
"What?"
"This is it, darling. I can feel it. I can't go on anymore."
I immediately started to cry.
"I'm not ready.." I said through my tears, my voice strained.
"Neither am I.. But we don't exactly get to decide," he said.
I nodded and sniffed away the tears.
"Okay. What can I get you?"
He sighed in bliss before answering.
"Get me some ramen, please. I haven't had any in so long.. I want ramen."
I nodded once more and walked quickly to the kitchen. I tried not to break down as I made the ramen quickly.
I freaked out as I walked into the bedroom to see him laying there peacefully, eyes closed once more.
"Baby!" I shouted frantically.
He opened his eyes and looked at me questioningly.
"I'm sorry. I.." I started, but he shook his head.
" I know," he replied before gesturing that I bring him his noodles.
I watched him as he ate and tried to freeze frame. I wanted to remember every little detail about him that I so loved. The slow way he chewed when he was thinking. His scent. They way his nose squinched up when he smelled pork. The way his hair fell in his eyes, they way he held his fucking chop sticks.
I didn't want to lose all these small, insignificant things. I didn't want to forget his voice and the way he called me a bastard. I didn't want to forget the way his smile always came so easy, or the way his eyes sparkled when he told me he loved me.
And I especially didn't want to forget the way I felt when he looked at me. When he brushed a knuckle against my cheek. When he pressed his lips against mine. When I pressed my lips against his. Or the way he constantly made my heart soar.
I didn't and will never fully understand his reasons behind being with me. Out of all the people in the world, I was the one he chose. But I will forever be grateful.
When he finished his ramen, I set the bowl on the nightstand and crawled back into bed with him to hold him in my arms.
"I.. I want to tell you something," I whispered.
He nodded against my chest.
"I just.. I wanted to thank you. You saw something in me that no one else has ever seen and that no one else will ever see. You saw the kindness that I had inside, and you forced it out of me. I want to thank you for changing me.. And for loving me. No one else has ever been able to do that, but you do it effortlessly. You accept every bit of me, and I love you for that. But I love you for everything else about you as well. And I want you to know that I am selfish and mean, but the time I've had with you, I have been the luckiest bastard in the whole world. I love you," I told him.
I felt him raise his head after I was done, and I saw the tears in his eyes.
"I.. Thank you."
"For what?" I asked.
"For loving me back. And for being here for me through all of this. And thank you for supporting me and putting up with me. My biggest fear is to not have you anymore, I want you to know that. I love you so much.." he said, running out of breath and trailing off.
"Shh.." I whispered. "Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."
We laid there in silence, we dozed, we talked. We spent the entire day in that bed together. Around noon it began to rain, and I thought that rain on Naruto's last day alive was very fitting. It was very suited for the Heavens to cry for him as well.
"Sasuke.." he said softly.
"Yes, Naruto?" I asked.
"I have a last request. Two really, but anyway.." he began.
"Okay," I said. "Hit me."
"Okay. There are two things I have to have before I pass away. I need you to kiss me one last time. And then.. Call me dobe. 'Kay?" he asked, smiling.
Tears filled my eyes once more, but I nodded.
"'Kay," I said, and pressed my lips against his softly.
Though he didn't have the strength to kiss me like we used to kiss, he did press his lips against mine lovingly and we shared the sweetest kiss I've ever experienced in my twenty-five years of life.
We parted, and I noticed he was crying.
"I.. I have to go, Sasuke.." he told me. His voice came chokingly.
"Okay. I.." I didn't know what to say. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks, but I couldn't be bothered with that right now.
"I love you, Dobe, " I whispered and kissed his cheek. He laughed before breaking into a coughing fit. His breathing was ragged.
"You're everything I ever wanted, Sasuke. I love you, oh Teme of mine," he said, smiling brightly.
And for a second, he was Naruto again. I didn't see the sick Naruto. I saw the Naruto that had always been and always would be. His hair wasn't sweaty and matted against his head, but full, free, and messy. Golden as ever.
His eyes weren't dull from lack of strength, but a vibrant blue that rivaled the sky and the seas and everything in between.
And the last smile I ever saw from Naruto was the most beautiful but bittersweet thing I've ever seen in my existence. It glowed happiness and life, though the life drained from him.
"I love you, Sasuke," he said, breathing slowed to almost a stop.
"I love you too, Naruto. Rest easy, baby," I said.
He smiled and nodded, and appeared to fall asleep.
But I knew otherwise. And I sobbed.
Now, a leaf fell on his tombstone. I brushed it away and tried to ignore the tears coating my face.
"I love you, Naruto."
I waited for an answer, but knew there was none in the graveyard. All the voices here had been silenced.
"You'll always be mine.." I whispered.
I stood and walked slowly to my car. I gave his stone on the hill one last look. And I drove away.
Watching a shiny, black car drive away was a presence unlike any other. A silhouette that shimmered golden. A young man with blonde hair and gorgeous cerulean eyes. He had tears in those eyes but a smile that shined like the sun. He watched the car until it was out of sight. And then, like the wind, he disappeared.
The End
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