Chapter Three: Destroyer

Base Camp, the Amazon, Bolivia, 1975

I: Eddie

As he headed for the rendezvous point, the Comedian looked in his rearview mirror.

Laurie had her hair pulled back and her helmet jammed low on her head; her hands were on the trigger of the .30 calibre machine gun, and she looked bored, angry, scared and jumpy.

She knew she had something to prove, and she was ready to prove it, but, like anybody going on their first serious combat mission, she was scared shitless.

And incredibly pissed off about being scared.

Not good.

He took a look to his right, and Liv was obsessively checking her weapons, again.

The kid had gone into what Eddie liked to think of as Sentinel mode; she was all geared up to be a ruthless, efficient, merciless killing machine.

For the past three days, she'd been getting up at 5AM, jogging around the compound, doing one-handed pushups, spending extra time at the shooting range, and she had knocked out the base's best fighter in a sparring match.

She had a little sly smile on her face, and that bright, unnatural light in her eyes, and she looked bored, homicidal, nervy and jumpy.

Really not good.

Eddie kept looking at the side of the road, and when he came upon the short, stocky, black-haired man in fatigues he was pretty goddamn glad to see him.

The Comedian stopped the truck, and Wolverine got in.

"Hiya, Eddie. Ya look good." Jimmy told him

"I feel great, Jimmy. You been waitin' a long time?"

"I been here awhile. Just long enough to do some snoopin' at Machado's compound. Just pull 'er right in over there. Campsite was pretty much the way you left it."

"We're camping? Out here? In the jungle?" Laurie asked.

Wolverine and the Comedian were polite enough not to laugh, but the Harlequin broke out in brays of hysterical laughter.

"You wanna go back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. complex? They got A/C an' cable, an' I'm sure there's a coupla my mask fuckbooks that was in my pack you ain't read yet. I'll even give youse a ride, an' we'll stop someplace along the way and get youse a little pink fuckin' pillow." She sneered.

Laurie grabbed her by the front of her uniform and Liv kept laughing.

Wolverine was about to intervene, but the Comedian stopped him.

"Let 'em go, Jimmy."

"Are you gonna shut the fuck up, Napier, or am I gonna shut you the fuck up?" Laurie snarled.

"That's more like it! Just button your lip an' listen to the short guy with the claws. When he says "camp" he don't mean a tent and some sticks with hot dogs on them." Liv explained.

Laurie didn't like buttoning her lip any more than her mother did, but she did it, as the Comedian drove through some brush into the clearing where the original camp for the original mission was located.

Barracks tent, latrine, command tent, weapons tent, vehicle enclosure, all military grade.

"Kinda brings back memories, huh, kid?" Eddie smirked.

"More like flashbacks, Eddie." Liv replied.

"Nobody found the place, Eddie. You've still got another jeep here, all the weapons and ammo for the ten men you took in with you, all your plans are still in the command tent." Wolverine told him.

"Good. At least this time I gotta team I can fuckin' rely on. Right. First Sergeant Napier, I want that Jeep checked over from headlights to tailpipe. And when you're done with that, you can join Colonel Howlett and me in the command tent, so's we can brief you on the mission. I guess you ain't got a rank, Laurie. You know how to clean a gun?"

"Yeah. But-"

"No buts, soldier. I'm the CO here. I say jump, you ask how high. And you do what I say if you wanna come outa this alive an' in one piece. Those weapons in the armoury have been rottin' away in this fuckin' jungle three weeks. I want 'em cleaned, and oiled, an' then you can stake out a place for yourself in the barracks tent."

"Don't I get to come to the briefing?"

"Sorry, Lar. But this is a military mission, and you ain't so much as a Private. You'll get your orders as you go."

That really pissed her off, but because she didn't want to be cooling her heels back at the S.H.I.E.L.D. compound, Laurie swallowed her anger and just nodded.

The kid saluted him and Jimmy in her usual smart-ass way.

"I'll get to work on that Jeep, Colonels, sirs!" she said, and she and Laurie headed out to do their respective tasks.

"Hey, Eddie, this ain't bring your daughter to work day. You sure she can handle this?" Wolverine asked, as they went for the command tent.

"She's gotta start someplace, Jimmy. I don't wanna see her end up like her Ma, forty years old and squeezin' herself into a stripper's costume to go make titty flicks for some sleazeball Frog directors in Europe, someplace. Or worse, fifty years old an' playin' a parody of herself on some half-ass TV show. An' ya know what? Sal thinks after alla these years, she's finally hit the big time. I can't even watch that show. It makes me fuckin' sick. I won't see my kid go the same way. If she's gonna be a fuckin' mask, Jimmy, she's gonna be a fuckin' mask."

"Yeah, I see what you mean."

From the vehicle enclosure, there came a sudden outburst of horrible cursing, and the sound of tools being thrown, and then Liv came stomping out of the tent, already partially covered in motor oil.

Laurie stuck her head out of the weapons tent.

"You gonna need that Jeep, tomorrow, Eddie?"

"How bad is it?"

"Somebody sabotaged the shit out of it! It'd take me ten, 12 hours workin' alone!"

The door of the barracks tent opened, and out came Sgt. Patrick Blake, Sgt. Joe McClatchey and Sgt. Frank Marcano.

"Who says you're workin' alone?" Joe asked.

Even Eddie was surprised.

"Hey, Eddie, next time you gotta go in, take your team." Logan suggested

"Same shit, different jungle, huh, Uncle Eddie?" Pat commented.

"Yeah. You even brought Frankie Bear. Frankie, ya look way too happy."

"I'm just glad you're alive, Uncle Eddie."

"Hey, I know Frankie's in the Guard, but youse guys didn't join up again, did you?" Liv asked.

"Naaah. Logan came to the garage and told me to get my uniform on, the Sarge and Napalm were in trouble. Me an' Pat, an' Frankie, we hadda sit in some room downtown for an hour while Logan argued with a whole buncha people, but we been here three or four days, now. Right, Pat?" Joe said.

"Yeah. They gave me a new truck to use. I don't like it as much as mine, but I been riggin' up some of my old favourites. We're gonna blow this shit up real good."

Watching the five soldiers, no, the six soldiers, standing around, Laurie observed that all of them had the Operation Wrath of God patch on their uniforms, and Pat, Joe Mac, Frankie Bear and Liv all had the Operation Wrath of God logo tattooed on their arms.

Laurie had never believed that Liv spent 14 months between 1969 and 1970 working in a secret lab on a German military base for the war effort, and that was how she was involved in Vietnam.

She always thought that despite Liv's opposition to the war, she joined up and went to fight side by side with good old Eddie Blake, and with Pat and Joe Mac and Frankie Bear because when Uncle Sam called them up, it became her war, too.

And seeing them all there together, laughing about same shit, different jungle, and saying, the way most 'Nam vets did, what a pointless hell of a deadly quagmire the whole war was, it made Laurie even more sure she was right.

"Hey! Those guns aren't gonna clean, themselves!" Eddie barked.

"I'll help you, Lar." Pat volunteered.

"Me too. I don't wanna be anywhere near that garage when Napalm's throwin tools. Joe knows where ta stand and when ta duck." Frankie Bear added.

Joe went with Liv to the vehicle enclosure, both of them talking about the work they were going to have to do on the Jeep.

"Well, I guess the Odd Bunch rides again, huh, Eddie?" Logan quipped.

"You gotta point, Jimmy. Next time I go in, I go in with my partner. An' if I have to take a team, then I'll take my team. C'mon. We got Hell to plan."

II: Laurie

"…and in the fuckin movies, somebody always yells "Cover me", and then he goes runnin' out into machine gun fire with a .45. I never fuckin' said "cover me" in my fuckin' life. Did you, Eddie?"

"No, kid. But I wouldn't run out in front of ten assholes with machine guns with only a .38 Special and a catchy tagline. That shit only happens in the fuckin' movies."

"I dunno. I did."

"Frankie, you're like your grandfather. You're fuckin' nuts, and you're a mutant, just like Pop was. What have you got to worry about?"

"Lots, Uncle Eddie. I don't heal up like Wolverine does. Not half as good. Pat, how many times did I get shot?"

"Eleven. You were in the medical tent for three weeks."

"Yeah. That was it. That settled me down, for good."

"An' you said 'Cover me.' I remember." Pat added.

Everybody laughed, and the bottle passed around again.

This was not what Laurie expected for the night before a battle.

But, then again, these guys had seen the elephant, and all she'd ever done was hang onto the trunk.

"Alright, troops, some of youse are movin' out tomorrow at 4AM, so it's time for some shut eye. Frankie, you an' me will take the foist watch. Lar, you an Liv sleep in the command tent. This shit ain't co-ed."

Liv fell right to sleep, but Laurie just lay awake.

She was pretty much scared shitless.

She left the tent, and walked to the perimeter of the camp.

"Hit the sack, Frankie." She said.

Her tone was so much like the Comedian's, he listened before he thought twice.

She waited until Frankie was gone, and lit up a smoke.

"Okay, Eddie, you got me. I'm scared shitless."

"That's understandable. Ya wanna go back? Nobody'll think any the less of you."

"Fuck that shit! What do you think I am, a fuckin' pussy?"

The Comedian laughed.

"Hell, no. Not you."

"Eddie, why the fuck did you bring me in on this?"

"You want the long version, or the short version."

"I'll take the long version."

The Comedian lit a fresh cigar.

"Because I fucked up your mother's whole fuckin' life. And yours. Hollis Mason shoulda been your father. You shoulda had him teach you how to cook eggs and drive a car, and he shoulda been the one to tell Ostermann you weren't leavin' home till you were all grown up. Your Ma's a good woman. So are you. Ya both deserved a good man. A good father. Instead, youse got me. Lucky youse. That fuckin' TV show, it makes me fuckin' sick. Your Ma was a good mask. One of the best. Nobody ever took her seriously. And now, Jesus, she's got you runnin' the streets in a costume even whorier than hers. You gotta take this mask shit serious, Lar. Or you gotta leave it alone. Do somethin' with that college degree youse got, or go back ta school for somethin'. Or marry the Doc, and have a buncha little blue babies that grow up to be X-Men. Nobody ever gave Sal a chance. An' I wasn't far enough up the tree to do much for her, at the time. But, alla that's changed. This is your chance, Lar. Don't be scared. I ain't gonna let you outa my sight. I know ya don't like me very much. But ya gotta trust me on this one."

Being so close to death had made the Comedian reflective.

It made Laurie reflective, too.

"You think I don't take it fuckin' seriously?" Laurie asked.

Knowing that she didn't take it seriously, enough.

"Not alla time. I know Sal. I know she never let youse decide if ya wanted to be a mask or not, and then youse got together with the Doc, an' it wasn't like there was anythin' else ya knew what ta do with your life. I mean, how ya gonna take somethin' seriously when ya never really though about whether it was what ya wanted outa life or not? Especially our kinda work, ya know?"

"You've got a point, Eddie. Sometimes I don't know why I do it. And sometimes I put my costume on and I think, Jesus, where am I going? Times Square? And I know I'm the Silk Spectre's daughter and Dr. Manhattan's girlfriend, and that's all I am to a lot of people. But I've put a long time into this job, goddamnit! And, like you said, what else do I know what to do with my life?" Laurie answered.

"I guess it's in your blood." Eddie replied.

The question was on the tip of her tongue, again, and it made her heart beat faster just thinking about asking it.

It still wasn't the right time.

But, then again, would there ever be a right time for this question?

Especially considering she knew now that, at any time, she might lose her chance.

"Eddie…are you my father?"

He turned to her.

"I made your mother a promise, Lar."

"I won't tell her. I won't tell anybody. But I gotta know, Eddie. I've gone through my whole life not really knowing who the fuck I am, or where the fuck I came from. And I almost lost my chance to ever ask you this question, and find out. So, tell me the truth. Are you my father?"

He smiled.

"Yeah, that's right, Laurie. I'm your father."

Laurie felt like she had been punched in the guts.

Suspecting that Eddie was her father, and being almost a hundred per cent sure that Eddie was her father were a lot further from Eddie telling her that he was, in fact, her father than she thought they would be.

She grabbed the chain-link perimeter fence with both hands.

"Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church." She muttered.

He put his hand on her shoulder, and that was oddly comforting.

It reminded her of the last time her mother left her with Larry when she had to go out of town.

The big storm, and all the power going out.

"You alright, Lar?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, this changes…well, no it doesn't. Because, somehow, I always knew. In a way. I guess it all makes sense, now. Maybe I didn't, you know, know for sure, but I at least suspected. But…Jesus, Eddie. You're my father. Edie's my aunt. Aggie's my aunt. Ivan's my uncle. Pat and Paulie and Frankie are my cousins. Do they know? Your family? I mean, our family?"

"Yeah, they know. That was part of the deal I made with your Ma. I said I wasn't keeping it from the rest of the family. Because I kinda figured you would need a goddamn family, whether ya knew we were that, or not. Your Ma's people are dead, and she don't talk to her sister."

"I know. God, this is so fucking heavy. It makes me wish I didn't feel so ambivalent about you."

"That's okay, Lar. Your Ma feels the same way."

Laurie lit another cigarette.

She sat there, alone, in the dark, and the thunder and the lightening and the rain and the wind just wouldn't quit.

Larry said he'd be back in an hour, but he had been gone all day and well into the night.

"There's something else I have to know. Why did you do it? The trophy room, I mean? I mean, I've known you all my life, and I've heard a million horror stories about you, and not one of them was about anything like that."

"I ain't got a good explanation."

"Then gimme a lousy explanation."

The Comedian swore under his breath, and took off one of his gloves.

"You ever notice this scar?"

The scar he was talking about was an ugly, puckered burn scar in the palm of his left hand.

"Yeah. Lots of times."

Then, when lightening hit the transformer across the street, and it exploded with a bang, when that big wind came and blew a big tree branch into the yard with a colossal crash.

Laurie wasn't sure where he was going, but she was following along.

"Well, the thing about Pop, about your grandfather, if you wanted to live to grow up in his house, all you hadda do was be healthy and stay out of his way. If you was sickly or underfoot, he'd kill you. Except for me an' Edie. He liked us. We was the apples of his eye. So he cared about what we did. He wanted to make us into somethin'. That was bad news for us. Now, Pop still never gave us any money. An' it goes without sayin' he never gave any to the other kids. Not a red fuckin' cent. An' this was during the Depression. Your grandmother, she usedta clean houses an' do laundry. We lived offa that, but ya know, there was always another baby, and always another death, an' after Pop killed my older brother, Paul, I was the oldest. So it was my job, yunno? I usedta sell newspapers onna corner, but ya don't make a lotta money doin' that shit. I was eight, lyin that I was ten, but nobody's gonna hire a kid that young for a real job. So I usedta raid garbage cans, an' if I couldn't find nothin' edible, an, like I said, this was the fuckin' Depression, I hadda lotta competition, I started stealin' food. When I got caught, yunno, they didn't do shit to me because I was Mick the Merciless' son, but it made Pop look bad. He turned the gas on the stove on high, an' held my hand over the flame. Not over the fuckin' burner, over the flame, until my fuckin' hand started to melt. Like wax. That's how I got this scar. I gotta few more, from your grandfather. But I'd die before I told you how I got 'em."

Eddie wasn't too fond of the way Laurie was looking at him, but at least it wasn't like she wanted to kill him.

"Oh my God, Eddie." She said.

"Yeah, well, when I was 17, I was a mean, rotten little bastard. I didn't wanna be nothin' like my father, but you didn't want to either, did you? Sometimes ya can't help yourself, ya are who ya are. In the trophy room, when your Ma hit me, I lost it, I hit her back. More'n once. An' when she was on the ground, I was sorry I did it. Sorrier yet I did it because she told me no. I figured I'd try to make it up to her. That was the way it was at my house. That was how all 12 of us came around. Pop was always beatin' Ma up, an' he was always sorry. An Ma always wanted ta make up. What did I know? I was only 17, an' I was a rotten little bastard who never had a woman say no to him before, who never asked nice for anything in his life."

Laurie shook her head.

"What, you figured, in the end, if you did a good job, everything would work out alright?"

"I toleja it was a lousy explanation. It's the truth, though."

"That is really fucked up, Eddie! Jesus! An' this guy, your father, this guy who did all this shit, who tortured you, an' murdered a whole bunch of my aunts and uncles, he's my grandfather? I got his blood?"

"Yeah. An' you kinda look like me. An yunno why Pop was so fond of Edie and me? Because we looked just like him."

"Why dontcha tell me a nice story, Eddie? Somethin' that don't depress the shit outa me? Jesus, I wanna go get my tubes tied."

"Hey, kid, family ain't destiny. Did I ever raise a hand to you, or your Ma? Ya met alla your livin' aunts an' uncles I brought up. Ya know I never raised a hand ta them, either. An' I didn't turn out to be a piece of shit criminal, did I? You'll be alright, kid. Don't worry about it."

Laurie lit another cigarette and laughed.

"Well, you did hit Liv."

"I had no choice! I hit her after she called me a cunt and broke my fuckin' nose. The kid's good. She turned her head right at the last minute so when I hit her, I got the side of her face that's all metal."

"You guys don't have fistfights on a regular basis, do you?"

"Fuck no! I wouldn't stand for that kinda sick shit, I woulda told her to get lost a long time ago. One thing I can't stand is alla that sick shit. I think they should put those kinda perverts in fuckin' jail. But, Liv, she likes to break dishes and throw shit, though. But my Ma used to break dishes and throw shit, and so does yours, so I got good at duckin'."

Laurie laughed, just a little.

"See? It ain't the end of the world."

"Eddie, do you think I have to be, you know, like you and Liv to get taken seriously as a mask?"

"Naaah. People take Danny Boy seriously and look what a fuckin' cream puff he is. But ya gotta start doin' real missions. On your own. Without the Doc. Serious shit."

"Like this?"

"Well, not always. Because you got no combat training. But this is a good start. It'll make people realize that you ain't some Twinkie."

Laurie took a drag on her cigarette.

"That's it, Eddie. That's it in a nutshell. No matter how hard I work, everybody thinks I'm a fucking Twinkie. But that's not why I'm here."

"Why, Lar?"

She got really scared, then, and she got on the phone and called Edie's house.

It was really late, but Eddie was still awake.

"Eddie, do you remember when Larry left me alone during that big storm, and you came and got me?"

She was crying in the dark, and then she heard the knock on the door, and ran to it, and Eddie picked her up, and she hugged him, turned her face against his raincoat and hung on for dear life.

"Yeah, that sunnuvabitch. You weren't even old enough ta go to school yet. You was so scared. You hung onto me alla way to Bensonhurst. I was so fuckin' mad at that cocksucker!"

The next day, Eddie took her back to the apartment to get her stuff, and Larry had finally returned.

"You were yelling at him, Jesus, that was the first time I heard some of those words. And I grabbed your sleeve and told you to hit him."

Eddie laughed.

"Yeah, you did. So, I hit him. Then you told me to hit him again. I kept hitting him, an' I was gonna keep hittin' him until you quite tellin' me to, an' I thought, wait, thsi is my little girl, he'll be dead before she tells me to quit hittin' him."

"He deserved it. The son of a bitch. Ma never left me alone with him, again. Larry told her he fell down the stairs."

They both laughed.

"I'll tell you why I'm here, Eddie. Whether I like it or not, whether I like you or not, you are my father. And you were always there when I needed you. And Paulie's Uncle. And Liv's partner and her old man. And, I mean, these sons of bitches, they tried to murder you in one of the worst possible ways you could kill anybody. They have to pay for that. I have to make them pay for that. I can't just let something like that go. Family trait, huh?"

"Pretty much."

Laurie wanted to say something else, but she didn't have anything else to say.

"Well, I better go get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. Places to go. People to shoot."

"That's the spirit, kid. Because, believe me. It really is all a big fucking joke."

"Ya know somethin', Eddie? The longer I live, the more I think you're right."

III: Stapleton

Stapleton didn't like it.

The way the ropes were cut through, it looked like they had been gnawed by an animal, and there were no new tracks or drag marks, or footprints.

Just the chewed ropes and some blood where the Comedian had once been.

Van Buren, the little fuck, seemed immensely relieved; Colonel Blake scared the shit out of him even half-dead.

Macchio was willing to believe the animals had taken him, he kept on stuffing his face full of food and his nose full of coke.

Alejandro went with whatever El Jefe told him, and Machado, in his fucking cowboy hat and his mirrored shades, was confident that the jungle had taken the "gringo masked man" just as it had taken everyone else he ever tied out on the hilltop between the two trees.

Many times they had found no traces of a body other than some chewed ropes, and a little blood.

He had bigger fish to fry; he had already buried seven of his men and two more died of their wounds.

But Sgt. Stapleton didn't like it.

Men like Colonel Blake didn't die that easy, if they died at all.

The other seven spics were with Stapleton.

When they heard there was no body they fled into the jungle, and Machado was on his ass, about losing all his men.

They wouldn't have to worry about it if the Comedian was alive, Sgt. Stapleton thought, wryly.

He bought a bunch of new guys, and armed them, 25 or thirty guys, but he didn't have a lot of confidence in them.

Not against the Comedian.

If he was still alive, they could have had a million guys.

And they'd still be dead, come nightfall.

IV: Eddie

The plan had been simple.

Enter the compound at night, guerrilla-style.

Secure the barracks, and the men inside.

Set charges around the factory and the weapons depot, let them blow, take Machado back to S.H.I.E.L.D HQ and let the rest of them run off into the jungle once they got free, if they hadn't been blown to kingdom come.

The new plan was essentially the same, except they were going to charge in, in broad daylight, and the men who betrayed him and tried to murder him, horribly were going to get a one way trip to Hell.

The hard way.

At four in the morning, Pat, Frankie Bear and Jimmy moved in.

Pat set all the charges, and drove back to base camp.

' Jimmy and Frankie snuck into where the five Marines who had remained loyal to Col. Blake were being held, and distributed weapons and ammo.

The signal for them to move in would be when the drug depot exploded.

While, as their usual protocol denoted, Joe Mac and Pat stayed at base camp, guarding the home front, the Comedian moved in as dawn was breaking, with his girls.

Laurie was manning the .50 cailbre, and Liv sat beside him.

As they approached the perimeter, Eddie hit the detonator with the blue button.

It took out all of the perimeter fence, and about 15 of the 25 guys that were guarding the place.

"Alright, we're goin' in. Laurie, open fire back there. I got fifteen bodies, I need ten more."

They breached the fence under heavy fire, but not for long.

It's not that hard to take a man out with a .50 calibre machine gun, even if your aim isn't so great.

Laurie managed to take out eight of the guards.

The two remaining approached the M151, and she pulled a 9mm Baretta out of a holster in her bra and blew them both to Hell.

"A little somethin' ya learned from your Ma, huh?"

"Like you said, Eddie, she was one of the best. Can I push the green button?"

Eddie passed the detonator back.

Laurie pushed the green button.

The dope factory blew sky-high.

"Holy shit!" Laurie marvelled.

"That's Pat, he's the fuckin' best!" Liv replied.

Frankie, Logan and the five Marines burst out of the holding pen, and, once they were in the clear, Eddie pushed the yellow button.

Goodbye holding pen.

Col. Blake took command of his troops.

"Alright, men, surround that barracks!"

The seven men surrounded the barracks, weapons at the ready.

Laurie looked around at the burning wreckage and all of the bodies and the pissed off Marines and one extremely pissed of Wolverine, ready to killkillkill, and she realised they had pretty much won.

"Eddie, is it usually this easy?" Laurie asked.

"No. These people are fuckin' morons. I figured I'd start youse out with an easy one. C'mon, kid. Let's drop in on my old friends. You too, Lar."

The Comedian kicked the door to the barracks in, and four of them were in there, including Machado, all groggy from being up all night, drinking, and getting high.

They all had their hands up, already.

"This is pathetic. Knot Tops are easier to beat than this." Laurie observed.

"Wait a minute. He's not here. The smart one. Crew Cut Douchebag isn't here." Harlequin pointed out.

"Stapleton. I ain't surprised. He probably took to the bush. Kid, get Jimmy. You two are the best trackers we got. Ferret the son of a bitch out. But save him for me, alright?"

"I will. His trail's got to be pretty fresh. We'll find him."

"What do I do?" Laurie asked.

The Comedian laughed

"Time for you to help Daddy go to work."

"Isn't that supposed to be a secret?"

"Fuck 'em. The only person these fucks are gonna tell it to is your grandpappy in Hell."

They walked into the shack.

"Well, hello, boys. Bet you never expected to see me again, huh? Hands on your fuckin' heads and march. Nice and easy. If any of them makes a false move, Silk Spectre, kill him."

"You got it, Comedian."

The men marched out.

"Alright men, you can stand down, now. Master Sergeant Marcano, take these men on patrol through the surrounding area. If you find any enemy, give them a chance to surrender. If they don't surrender, shoot to kill. Leave the bodies in the open."

"Yessir, Colonel Blake. Okay youse guys, move out! It's payback time."

The Comedian waited for his men to leave, and then addressed his captives.

"Alright, fellas. Keep your hands behind your heads, an' get on your knees. Eyes on me. Silk Spectre, you know what to do if anybody gets jumpy."

Laurie held her gun on them.

Machado probably knew what was coming, but the rest of them had hope.

Eddie liked that; it gave him something to work with.

Give them all a little taste of what they gave him.

"I'd like to introduce youse guys to my little girl. She's been wearin' a mask since she was 16, an' she's a college graduate. This is her first serious mission, an' I'm real proud of her. She killed 25 of your cocksuckers, today. Two at point blank range. Lar, lemme introduce youse to the guys who almost made you half an orphan. This cringing little fuck is Private First Class Owen VanBuren. Say hello, VanBuren, ya little faggot."

"H-H-H-Hello."

"Look at that, willya? Van Buren, you make me fuckin' sick. At least that fat pig and Stapleton had some real balls, but you been cryin' for your mommy since this mission began. I don't give a flyin' fuck at a rollin' donut if you weren't part of the plot, ya coulda told me about it a little sooner, but you were too fuckin' chickenshit. Ya sold me, an' five guys from your outfit down the river. Well, ya lived like a yellow fuckin' dog, and now you're gonna die like one."

He drew his pistol, jammed it against VanBuren's thundering heart, and pulled the trigger.

Private Van Buren slumped over, dying.

The Comedian kicked him onto his back.

"Finish him off for me, Lar."

Laurie reminded herself of what the dying man did, and she shot him twice in the head.

Once between the eyes, once at the back of the head.

The Comedian moved on to Alejandro, and ripped off his sunglasses.

There was fear in the man's eyes.

"You don't look so happy now, you fuckin' little toady! My partner tells me you were gonna cut my fuckin' head off."

The Comedian unsheathed the machete he had brought from his jeep for just this purpose.

"You foist."

He sliced off Alejandro's head, and when it rolled over by his feet, he kicked it away.

Casually.

The blood spatter got all over Corporal Macchio, who had pissed his pants in fear.

"Guess you're all outa balls now, huh, ya loudmouth fat fuck prick? Always stuffin your fat face an' laughin' at everybody, brayin' like a fuckin' donkey. What you need is a bigger mouth ta do it with."

Eddie took out his hunting knife, and slit Macchio's throat.

He left him to bleed out, sheathed the knife and ordered Machado to his feet.

"Guess what, fucko? We're goin up the hill."

"You can't make me walk up that hill, gringo."

"Sure I can."

The Comedian gave Machado the most devastating uppercut in New York City, knocking him out.

He slung the man over his shoulder.

"Give the fat one the coup de grace, Lar. I'll be right back."

Laurie quickly delivered the requisite shots, and followed her father.

"Is that the guy who tied you out?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm comin' with you."

Machado woke up as Eddie was tying him his arms to one tree and Laurie was tying his legs to the other.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. Your father is the Devil!" Machado spat.

"No, I think my grandfather is the Devil. Or at least he's a demon. You'll be seein' him, soon. An' maybe I'm not the Old Man's biggest fan, but I'm related to a lot of people who are. So, fuck you, asshole. Try to die well." Laurie told him

"His kind never do, Lar. They can dish it out, but they can't take it."

"Hey, Comedian, you asked me to bring you a woman before you died. I'm asking you the same thing. What about your daughter?"

Laurie kicked Machado in the balls, at the same time as Eddie broke his nose.

"Not funny, ya spic bastard! Now, the way I saw it, if I could live long enough that the animals thought I was done for, an' chewed through the ropes so's they could eat me, I could have crawled away. An' ya know what? I prob'ly coulda. I mighta even made it. But not you. You prob'ly wont make it through the second night. But, lemme tellya, that third day, it's the worst."

"Fuck you, gringo!" Machado screamed

"Yeah, yeah." The Comedian chuckled.

He put out his cigar on Machado's chest, and he and Laurie walked back down the hill.

When he got about halfway down, he saw something rustle in the bushes, and then just as he was pulling his gun, out came Stapleton, with an M-1 in his hands.

"You evil old sunnuvabitch! I always heard that next to Wolverine, you were the toughest there is, maybe tougher, because you're not a mutie. I figured somebody cut you loose, but still, I never figured you'd make it. But here you are, good as fucking new. I saw what you did to the rest of them. Even that spic Machado, up on the hill. Well fuck'm. Fuck'm all. But you're not killing me. You put that pistol down. You and the woman."

Eddie and Laurie looked at each other.

They were both wearing high tech, state of the art body armor that had been developed jointly by Wayne Enterprises and Stark Industries especially for S.H.I.E.L.D.

And, secretly, for masks, of course.

The armor was super thin, super light, and capable of completely stopping anything up to a small shell.

The M-1 only fired a thirty-aught-six.

The Silk Spectre was waiting for the Comedian's signal to fire, and then, despite the fact that neither of them saw or heard the bushes move, Harlequin just seemed to appear behind Stapleton.

Wolverine had really taught her well.

Eddie nodded to liv so slightly that Stapleton didn't notice it.

Laurie noticed, and she saw Liv stealthily taking up an offensive position.

"Why shouldn't I take a fucking shot? You're gonna kill me, anyway." Eddie said

"That's right. I'm gonna shoot out both your knees, and drag you back up there on that hill, and I'm going to tie you to those trees a little higher than Machado. Then, I'm gonna cut your throat, and shoot you in the chest, and right before you die, I'm gonna piss on you, an' then cut off your head. And that goes without sayin' what I'm gonna do to her, and the other girl, when I find her."

Laurie laughed, and Eddie started to laugh with her.

That unnerved Stapleton.

"What are you fucking laughing at?" he insisted

"You, fucko. Me and the Harlequin, we fuck guys like you and then we kill them. Quick if they're good. You better make it good. Or we'll kill you slow." Laurie told Stapleton.

Eddie raised an eyebrow.

Nice bluff.

Maybe it wasn't a bluff.

Oh well, everybody's got a kink or two.

"Piss on me? Why the fuck would you do that, Stapleton? I didn't piss on nobody." He asked.

"I guess that makes me meaner than you, then, huh?"

He was about to fire.

"Wait a second. You ever watch movies?"

"Huh?"

"Ya seen The Good, The Bad and The Ugly?" Eddie asked.

There was the sound of clean metal singing through the air, and Stapleton looked at his jerking arm, still holding the gun, and then at his bloody stump, and then turned around to look at at the woman who was more than a foot shorter than him holding the bloody machete.

"You know, I did this to Vic Creed once." She said, conversationally, and slashed a hole in Stapleton's chest.

"He got better. You won't. Tell me something, fucko? You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?" the Harlequin asked.

"Like I always told Jack, that line, it's class. See, Lar, Liv uses it because it's her father's. Like what you was sayin' about your Grandpa in Hell. It's a nice touch." The Comedian explained.

Meanwhile, the Harlequin thrust her hand tattooed with a skull and crossbones into the gaping hole, and closed her hard little fist around the treasonous Marine's thundering heart.

RRRRRRRRIIP!

Stapleton fell to his knees.

"I guess you missed the part where Eli Wallach said 'If you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.'" She said.

The dying man looked at his pulsing heart in the small, bloody hand.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm the Angel of Death. God made me in Hell out of the Devil's hottest fire, to send assholes like you into the deepest, hottest pit. Tell Mickey Blake I said hello, and here's another one for me and Eddie."

"And she just slipped my line in there, because she works with me. You getting this?"

"Yeah, Eddie. It's not rocket science."

Stapleton died.

Just for good measure, Laurie fired a bullet into his brain.

"That's right, kid. Always confirm your kills." Eddie told her.

"I ripped his heart out, Eddie! Ain't that overkill?"

"Shaddup, kid. I'm tryna teach your friend somethin', heah."

Liv looked down at the body.

"You gonna piss on him?"

"Naaah. Too weird. Get rid of that fuckin' thing, willya?"

Liv tossed the dead heart at the dead man.

"Where's Jimmy?"

Wolverine jumped down from a tree right behind them.

"Watchin' your back, Eddie."

"Well, I figure we got this shit just about wrapped up. Now, tell me if they had anythin' worth savin' in this dump, you saved it."

"Of course I did. I radioed Pat and Joe, and they brought the truck. There's room for the salvage, and for our guys."

The sound of gunfire came from the hills.

"Sounds like Frankie's got his end just about wrapped up. C'mon, girls, let's go back ta that stream an' wash up. You too, Jimmy. Ya got blood up to your elbows, again, an' I wouldn't want youse to rust."

"Now what?" Liv asked.

"Well, I guess we'll go back, break camp, an go back to the base. In a day or two, I'll come back for Machado, cut off his head and his hands, and after I turn them over to Nick, we can get the fuck out of here. Hey, when you two work together, do you really take a crack at the badguys?"

"Naaah. That would be unprofessional." Liv said.

"At the very least. And it would be cheating on Jon. But we like to let that story get around. It really puts fear into these assholes." Laurie explained.

When they got back to camp, Laurie noticed that among the things the freed Marines were loading onto the truck were case after case of Scotch, beer and whiskey, and two bales of what appeared to be weed.

"Are you going into business, Eddie?" she asked.

"To the victors go the spoils, kid. I'm gonna part everything out equally. It's just a little weed and a little booze, after you part it out to ten or fifteen people. And we deserve ta have a little fun, after what we been through. Right, men?"

"Sir! Yes sir!"

When they all got back to camp, everybody partied like the world was ending, with booze and dope and loud music and guns firing into the sky.

Laurie began to see why Eddie, why her father was such a well-loved commander.

He never left a man behind, he made sure the enemy were extremely dead and as many of his guys as possible made it out alive, and he wasn't a regular army ramrod; when the mission was done, it was time for a good time to be had by all.

V: Eddie

After all their business was taken care of, the Harlequin and the Comedian, in civilian guise, boarded a supersonic jet that deposited them at McGuire Air Force base in Trenton, New Jersey, and returned to New York in the M151 with the smile faces on its doors that had made the trip back in the cargo hold.

It was only an hour and a half drive back to his apartment in Manhattan, where Eddie Blake had some pressing business to attend to.

He was a goddamn long time attending to it, too, because, well, almost dying, it put a fire in your balls, and commonly, Eddie had an inferno going on in his pants; that's just the way a Blake was; they all burnt pretty goddamn hot.

But, then again, so did the kid.

Still, it was always worth it to let her know who her old man was, and show here that wherever she was getting it, and from whoever, it wasn't shit compared to him.

"So, Eddie, where d'you think I should get Ivan to put my new tattoo?"

"You tryna convince me that's all that's on your mind?"

"Well, Jesus, Eddie, I'd get down on my knees and worship you, but I done that a coupla times, already, right?"

The Comedian smirked at her.

"Okay, kid. I'll play along. Well, youse got the big one across your chest, between the straps of your undershirt where God an' everybody can see it. Youse got two on each bicep, one on each forearm, the other big one on your neck, one on either shoulder in the back, one in the middle right under the one on your neck, one on the palm of one hand, one on the back of the other, and then there's the words on your knuckles. Ya ands and ya wrsits are all tattooed up. If ya want it someplace visible, it's gonna hafta be small."

"I still got some room on my arms. What, are you worried I'm gonna get a tattoo someplace you won't like?"

"Kid, I'm still gettin' usedta the smiley face on your hip."

"Awww, that one was for you, Eddie."

"Yeah, but every time I look at it, close enough to see the writin' under it, it makes me fuckin' laugh."

"I don't care if you laugh. It don't ruin my mood."

"Mine, neither. But I'll bet it don't do much for the other roosters in the henhouse."

They both had a good laugh over that one.

In small print, right under the smiley face tattooed on the kid's hip was the following:

"Eddie Blake was here. You ain't a patch on his ass."

Damn straight.

Eddie lit up a cigar, and blew smoke rings into the air.

Liv curled up against his chest, and he put his arm around her.

Machado was dead, Stapleton was dead, they were all dead, dead and toasting and smoking in hell, burning in the kettles full of hellfire that Pop stoked, laughing and burning like the Devil he was.

And where was Mickey Blake's firstborn son, while his enemies rotten in shallow graves in the stinking jungle?

Tucked up nice and warm and safe in a bed the size of a city block in his penthouse apartment high above 5th Avenue, with his girl, the hottest, horniest homicidal hellcat in the mask business curled up against him, purring like a contented cat as she drifted off to sleep.

"It's good ta be the king." Eddie observed.

And then he laughed.

New York City, Watchmen Meeting Place, 1975

VI: Dan

The Justice League were a team.

They worked together, they made plans, they had meetings, and they executed the plans.

Same for the Avengers.

And the X-Men.

Even Alpha Flight.

But the Watchmen were only a team in the eyes of the press.

The best they could do was get together long enough to have a few pictures taken, or model for one of Veidt Enterprises Watchmen action figures without anyone tearing anyone else a new asshole.

That bothered Dan.

Still, on the occasion of their monthly meetings, everybody usually showed up.

Dan knew why.

Rorschach attended because he was Dan's partner.

Laurie attended because she felt they should have some order.

He wasn't sure if Jon came because she did or he had his own reasons.

Adrian looked forward to meetings; he had this dream that the Watchmen could someday be a real team, something for which Dan also ardently hoped.

Although Adrian wasn't holding his breath.

And the Comedian always showed up so he could fuck with Dan and Adrian.

He seemed to take a special joy in making them miserable.

Liv was there because she had trained with Laurie, under the original Silk Spectre, because she worked with Jon in his lab, and she was the Comedian's partner, and because she worked with Dan and Rorschach.

She knew it was a fiasco, but like Jon, she always tried to be helpful and productive, until Adrian started on her.

Which he never failed to do.

There was no love lost between Ozymandias and the Harlequin.

Dan had to admit, Liv might have been right about Adrian resenting her because she was probably as smart as he was.

Liv was also a business rival.

As one of the heirs to Wayne Enterprises, and a close personal friend to Tony Stark, with whom it was rumoured she and Jon were secretly working on a big project, she was involved with both of the multinational corporations who did their best to crowd Veidt Enterprises out of their market share.

The Harlequin was too close to Ozymandias for comfort.

She had another theory.

It was her opinion that Adrian, who, admittedly, was a very cold man, only had his heart warmed once in his life, and that was when he met someone who could best him in combat.

"It was love at first punch, Dan. But Adrian's a smart man. For one thing, he knows Eddie ain't gay. An' for another, I'm not too sure Adrian's gay, either. I think he likes a little bit of everything. But, that's his business. Anyway, I understand the way he feels about the rotten old sunnuvabitch. If I was him, I'd hate me, too."

That left Dan with questions he wasn't sure how to ask.

If you fell in love with another man, if you went with guys, even occasionally, didn't that make you gay?

And why would you fall in love with somebody as they were kicking the shit out of you?

In the end, though, no matter what Adrian thought, or why, Dan felt that Liv's presence was integral to every meeting, for many reasons, not least of which was that she was the only one to ever say,

"Eddie, shut the fuck up."

Which could be very helpful.

As soon as Laurie and Jon arrived, Laurie made a beeline for the Comedian.

That was the other reason she attended meetings; she relished fighting with him.

"You sunnuvabitch! You think I don't know, but I do! I don't know where she was hiding you the last time I visited her in LA, but I could smell your stinky fucking cigar in my mother's house!"

"Jesus, canya lay off me? When you was a kid, it never bothered you, comin' down to eat breakfast, sometimes, an' me bein' there. Ya never turned your nose up at a free trip to the drive-in every Thursday. And youse still got that car I gave ya when I tought youse ta drive. What changed?"

"I didn't know what kinda asshole you were!"

"Yeah, well, kiddo, you must not have been payin' attention to what your mother usedta scream at me. I'm the same kinda asshole I always was. I ain't changed."

"I believe that."

Dan decided to start the meeting, as Jon steered Laurie away from Eddie Blake.

"Okay, everybody, as long as we're all here, we should discuss Moloch getting let out of Arkham, first, I think." He said.

Blake was all over him like a cheap suit.

"We, my ass! Moloch's my problem, Boy Scout. The last thing I need is you jokers muscling in on my action and goading him into doing some kind of drastic shit."

"Jesus, Eddie, all he said was that Moloch was out. Why dontcha shut the fuck up and let the man speak?" Liv said

"Hey, kid, you like Danny Boy so much, why don't you go home with him, tonight?"

"Awww, fuck you, Eddie."

He put his feet up on the table and opened the Daily Bugle.

There was another shot of Spider-Man on the cover, this one with Wolverine.

Laurie jumped back in.

"Did it ever occur to you, that Liv is not completely motivated by fucking?" she asked, taking her friend's side.

"Well, there's always food, cars, guns, and music." Liv cracked.

"I know she ain't motivated by Danny Boy." The Comedian added.

"Shut the fuck up, Eddie, ya don't always hafta be mean to Dan, do ya? Just because he ain't my type, that's not his fault."

"Can we please get back on task? I'm not interested in our female members love lives." Adrian suggested.

"Everybody knows that, Ozzy. You don't keep it under your hat so well in your lavender suit." The Comedian rejoined.

He didn't really think that Ozzy was a whole queer, but the guy had a thing for him, so he was at least AC/DC, and Eddie liked to needle him about it.

Dan bet any money Rorschach was actually smiling under his mask, or grimacing, maybe.

"Yes. Well, uh, so, uh, Comedian, ah, what do things look like with Moloch?" Dan continued.

The Comedian took his feet off the table, and put his paper down.

"I got some information about him trying to wrest the heroin rackets back from that Lucas nigger up in Harlem. You know, the one who's trying to cut the wops out of it. Now, the greaseballs aren't too happy with Moloch, already, because the Kingpin is pissed. He wants to work with this guy, but the guineas, they're ready to kill this nigger, so they'd rather work with Moloch. Buncha fuckin' racists. Meanwhile, every junkie in New York is gonna go apeshit if there's an interruption in supply, so we're pretty much fucked unless I can get Moloch's ass back to Arkham or encourage him dope isn't for him, anymore. You real busy, Rorschach?"

"Negative."

"Good. Me and the kid, we'll be in touch."

"Affirmative, Comedian."

"Hey, Eddie, you wanna cool it on the wops and greaseballs and guineas bullshit?" Liv protested.

"It wasn't directed at you, kid."

"Yeah, but still, watch your ass!"

Dan didn't ask the Comedian what he was planning to do, he didn't want to know, so he moved on to talking about the general problems in the city with street crime and so on.

"I mean, we are not doing enough. Liv goes right into the middle of it. People come to her and ask her for help. Why don't they come to me? Or to you, Adrian? Or to Jon?"

"Oh, that's okay, Dan. I can handle it." Liv said.

Nobody looked at her dislocated shoulder in a sling.

That last mission pushed it out again.

And her ribs were still bound.

Laurie got mad.

"No you can't! Not on your own!"

She was about to say more, but the Comedian spoke first.

"She's right, ya know! That's' what I really wanna talk about! This motherfuckin' city is no better than a goddamn jungle in some places, and those are the places my partner goes, because she knows what it means to really be a mask. When I gotta go on a mission, every time I come back, she's hurt. When I don't have her back, the only one of you who ever does is Sal's kid. And the Inkblot, if he ain't busy. She can call the Bat, she can call Shellhead, she can call the X-Mansion and get Jimmy down here in a flash. But not you fuckers. It's a good thing she's with the Justice League and she can call on them for help, because you fucks don't do shit for her! Watchmen, my ass!"

Dan looked at his feet.

The Comedian had been in South America, on a government mission, and while he was gone, Dan had called Liv, on her night off, to help him with a minor problem near her new home on the waterfront, and she ended up getting thrown out a window, and falling two stories into a Dumpster.

Batman came to her aid, and Iron Man, and she had gone in, without backup, because she saw that Rorschach was in serious trouble, so he was already on the scene, but Dan had gone to bed and had no idea it even happened.

"I do. Promised you I'd watch her while you were gone. Always do. And Harlequin risked her life to protect my anonymity. Always will."

"I know you do, Rorschach. You're the only mask in this fuckin' outfit worth a shit. I'm talkin' about College Man and Boy Scout who don't like to get their hands dirty. And you, Doc, she fuckin' works for you! Every fuckin' day! And you're so fuckin' remote, you don't give a fuck about any of us, anymore! We're all a big science project. Like a fuckin' Human Ant Farm. Which brings me to my next problem with you fuckin' pricks. Nobody's got my back, either. I'm fuckin' tied between two trees in the jungle for seven days! Seven fuckin' days! And not one of you says to himself, gee we ain't heard from good ol' Eddie for awhile, have we? You know who shows up to rescue my ass? The kid. Who has to get up out of bed to do it! Hell, Ostermann, you fuckin' sent her, alone, into the goddamn jungle on broken ribs with a fucked-up arm three or four days after she got thrown out a window! Didn't you think, gee, maybe I should go, too? We both barely got outa there alive! Well?" The Comedian demanded.

"You know, I hate to agree with Eddie, but he's right. This whole idea of us being a team is a real joke. And you can't be a mask without getting your hands dirty, sometimes. I mean, after I hard what happened, I went. Hell, a bunch of guys I know that served with Eddie in 'Nam went. Wolverine was there. Even my mother went. But you guys were nowhere in fuckin' sight! Jesus Christ!" Laurie volunteered.

"Well, I don't agree with the part about a mask having to get their hands dirty! That is not what our vocation is about. Sometimes, fine. All the time, no. I don't hold with Batman's methods, let alone the Comedian's, and they were the Harlequin's mentors. I can't in all conscience help someone to enforce a justice I don't believe in. Trivelino needs backup because she's brutal and sloppy. Like her partner, the Comedian. And her stepfather, the Batman. And her father, the Joker." Adrian protested.

Liv's jaw unhinged.

She was trying to say something, as she sprang to her feet, but when she opened her mouth, she couldn't make words come out.

"Adrian, you are way out of line." Jon commented, sternly.

Then Liv found her voice.

"You chickenshit uptown Nazi cocksucker! The only justice you care about is for nice rich white motherfuckers just like you! I do a lot more than go to these places and kill people, sometimes I'm the only justice an' the only hope the people who depend on me have! Whaddya do, every night? Lock yourself in the bedroom with your big pinup poster of Eddie and sigh like a little girl while you're yankin your crank and thinkin' about how good it felt when he was kickin' your ass? Sorry he wasn't the kinda guy who'd fuck you in it after he was done? I fuckin' know you, Veidt! I got your fuckin' number! I see right through you like you're made of glass!" Liv howled.

Dan couldn't believe what happened next.

Adrian went for her.

"Adrian!" he shouted.

He was going to put himself between the injured Harlequin and a suddenly enraged Ozymandias, but the Comedian got there, first.

He was standing between them, and he pushed Liv behind his back, his cigar smoking like the engine of a freight train, which, in his anger, he seemed about as big as.

"Don't you touch her, you fuck, she's hurt! Now ya wanna fight her, ya cowardly sunnuvabitch? You'll hafta go through me, foist! It's not her fault she knows what you are, ya sick bastard! Everybody knows about you! Just nobody says so! And you know I know what you are, don't ya?" he sneered.

Adrian regained his composure.

"I have no idea what either of you depraved lunatics are talking about." He replied, calmly.

"Can't we all sit down and discuss this rationally?" Dan asked.

"You can't discuss things rationally with a person called Napalm." Adrian explained.

"You started it, Ozzy! Ya hadda insult me! Ya always hafta insult me!"

"She's right, Adrian. It's the same thing at every meeting. You insult Liv and goad her until she flies into a rage, and then you say she's unreasonable. It's unfair of you." Jon protested.

"Unfair? It's unfair I have to work with you people!"

"Adrian, are you calling me 'you people'? Me? That's not right!" Dan protested.

Just around then, the whole "meeting" devolved into a shouting match.

Laurie began to get a splitting headache.

She stood up, on the table, and yelled as loud as she could.

"WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Everybody quieted down.

"Okay, well that went great. I'll see everybody next month." Dan said.

Rorschach put his hand on his partner's shoulder.

"You tried, Daniel."

Dan sighed.

"I did. Well, better luck next time. Let's go to the Gunga Diner. I'm buying."

Dan and Rorschach ate quietly for quite some time.

"Rorschach?"

"Hurm?"

"Were they saying Adrian's gay?"

Rorschach sighed into his plate, and shook his head.

"Not quite, Daniel. I believe Harlequin and Comedian were accusing him of being some kind of perverted sado-masochist, who is only capable of having deep emotional ties to someone who can physically best him. Regardless of gender. The only person who has ever been able to do so is the Comedian. Hence the allegations."

"But what about that whole…ass thing."

"Goes with the masochism. Physical punishment followed by deviant and degrading sexual humiliation. Common disorder." Rorschach replied.

"Oh. That's kind of…"

"Disgusting?"

"Erm, well, I was going to say kinky. You really have to learn, Rorschach, it takes all sorts to make a world."

"Hurm."

They ate for a while longer.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't find it disgusting?"

"Well, I ah, I try to be tolerant of ah, you know, things like this, but honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Well, yeah, the idea of a guy enjoying having another guy beat the shit out of him, and then, want the guy who beat him up to, you know, ah, give it to him up the butt, yeah, uh, well, personally, I mean, for me, yeah, I'd say that was pretty disgusting. You know." Dan replied.

"Good." Rorschach replied.

"Rorschach, you didn't think…I mean, just because I don't have a steady girl, and I haven't, you know, got laid for…awhile, you didn't think…"

"No Daniel. I didn't."

"Good."

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Try looking for women with the costume on. I'm told that helps."

VII: Laurie

"Well, that was an exercise in futility." Jon commented.

Laurie was pretty close to exploding, and when Jon said that, she did.

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it? And you were so fucking helpful, just like you always are! You see Liv every day, you work with her, you have worked with her since she was 16. You could have done more. You could have said more. You should have gone with her! You could have come with Ma and me! And tonight, when everybody just started screaming, you could have done something to shut them up! But you didn't. No, you just stood there and watched. Like we were all your own private TV show. You just don't care anymore, do you? You really don't give a fuck about all us little people!"

"What do you expect me to do, Laurie? Ionize the table? Send everyone home? I spoke up for Liv."

"Yeah. One sentence! And now I suppose you just can't wait to go home to Washington, and stare through the walls!"

"Well…I…"

"Never mind! Fuck it! You go! I'll call you when I want to come home! Have a wonderful time, you and the goddamn universe!"

Laurie stalked away from him, and Dr. Manhattan disappeared in a flash of blue light and a whoosh of air.

Dan tried to talk to her when he came out, but she gave him a dirty look.

It wasn't his fault, and she liked Dan, but she was in a really bad mood.

Rorschach came out right after the Comedian, he and the Comedian said something to each other and then Rorschach and Liv were talking about something and before Laurie could light up, the Comedian was lighting her cigarette for her.

"So, he just left ya here, in this neighbourhood, in the middle of the night. Whatta guy."

Goddamn Eddie, he was always acting like he was her goddamn father, ever since she was a kid.

In that he actually was, that made it more infuriating.

"I can take care of myself, Eddie. I feel like taking care of myself, right now. I hope somebody does fuck with me. I'll cripple him."

"Yeah. So can Liv. She got thrown out a fuckin' window. Thanks for standing up for the kid. Somebody could put an iron bar through her head and she wouldn't say shit."

"You know Liv. She's always been like that. She never admits that anything gets to her. At all."

"Yeah. I noticed. They don't give a fuck about her. Any of them. Me, and Jimmy, and the Bat and Robin, Cap, and you and your mother. An' even that asshole Shellhead. The rest of 'em, they threw her away like so much trash. They gave her to me and they think I'm trash. How the fuck did they know I'm not as black as Hollis Mason paints me? Did they care? No. Sons of bitches. Somebody threw me out a window, Eddie. She says it real casual. Who had your back, kid? Rorschach. They got him. I hadda save him, Eddie. Fuckin' assholes. They forget she's a goddamn woman, a little one too, maybe there's only so much punishment her little body can take. They think she's goddamn Wolverine. Do they care? Fuck no. If anything happens, I swear, Lar there's gonna be blood, blood like you've never seen it before. "

Laurie took a thoughtful puff.

"I agree with you, but it's not all their faults. Liv doesn't do backup. I trained with her. I've tried to work with her. But she never worked with anybody. At all. Maybe on a special project. But on her rounds? When somebody, calls the Harlequin? Never. If she lets you back her up, shit. That's pretty close to un-fucking-believable."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Rorschach melted into the night, and Liv came over to her partner and her friend.

"You have a fight with Jon?"

"Something like that. You can't really have a fight with Jon."

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I do little shit, just to get his goat, and it hardly ever works. Where did he go, anyway?"

Laurie threw down her butt, and ground it out, angrily.

"Home! Back into his sanctum sanctorum! We never go anywhere. We never do anything."

"Yeah, well me an' Eddie are gonna go to the flicks. Then maybe Grossmann's. You wanna come?"

She thought about it.

"Sure! Why the fuck not?"

The Comedian laughed.

"What? But this time I'm an asshole, an' a sunnuvabitch. An' last month I was a no-good, dirty motherfucker, and a piece of shit. You don't want be seen in public with a guy like that, do ya?"

"My mother has called you all of those things. And more. And it doesn't seem to bother you when she does it."

"And the Doc never takes ya out, huh?"

"You really are an asshole, Eddie. I can't figure out why the fuck I was glad you weren't dead." Laurie told him.

"Yeah. Shut the fuck up, Eddie." Liv broke in

"Oh, Christ! Just like when you was kids. An' I'm still supposed to take ya to the flicks? There's a new Dirty Harry. Ya still like violent action movies, Lar?"

"Yes! I hope Clint Eastwood kills everybody in sight. Twice. Let's go."

The three of them were sitting in the movie theatre, between features, when Laurie had a brainstorm.

"Liv, did either of you guys think that maybe you getting tossed out a window and Eddie getting double crossed, pretty much at the same time wasn't an accident?" she asked.

"I thought I was just being paranoid." Liv answered.

"Me too. What about you, Eddie?"

"Yeah. I been thinkin' the same thing."

"Who was it that said perfect paranoia is perfect awareness?" Laurie asked.

"Charlie Manson." Eddie told her.

"Oh. Well, I guess everybody gets to be right, sometimes."

"How could it be a setup? And why?" Liv asked.

"An' who are they goin' after, next?" Eddie added.

"I guess we gotta find that out." Laurie decided.

"We?"

"Don't act so fucking surprised, Eddie! Somebody's trying to kill my best friend. And her and my mother would be sorry to see you gone, so yeah. We. Dan's always bitching none of the Watchmen work as a team, and Jon's always telling me to find outside interests."

"I think he meant he wanted you to take up yoga. Or some shit like that." The Comedian suggested.

"Yoga, my ass! What am I, a mask or a goddamn household ornament? I am not just the fucking Twinkie Jon fills up with cream, goddammit, I'm the Silk Spectre! Fuck him if he doesn't like it. God only knows I love the man, but what Jon doesn't know, won't hurt him." Laurie decided.

Author's Note: A-ha! You weren't being paranoid, faithful readers, there is a conspiracy! But, among who? And for what reason? Not to mention this burning question? Were there other attacks on other masks? And are there more to come? Better read the next chapter. Things are going to get very interesting.