You know, I was supposed to write this on the end of the chapter but...

Sagara Sanosuke: Mou! Sano no hentai!!!! Of course I'm sure I'm not writing a lemon (though I said to my editor: 'I don't know if I can write what I have in mind without turning this into a lemon.'). This is very hard! I mean, difficult! Yeah, difficult!

Disclaimer: Hana-chan takes a last look at her drafts. "There. It's done."
Kenshin is siting on her room, eating ice cream (it's very hot in Brazil this time of the year): "Finally, Hana-dono. You were writing this one too slow..."
Hana-chan: "Hey! Don't complain! Or else I'll write my next one about... Saitou?"
Mara-san pops out of nowhere: "You better not write something about MY Saitou that I don't like!"
Hana-chan: "Errr... But if I write something about Saitou that you like... It wouldn't be fun."
Kenshin: "Sessha agrees with Hana-dono... If Hana-dono writes about Saitou, it must be fun... But then, Mara-dono wouldn't like it, because Hana-dono would probably embarrass Saitou a lot. And if Hana-dono doesn't embarrass Saitou, Hana-dono wouldn't have fun... Which lead us to our first problem, Hana-dono would enjoy herself and Mara-dono wouldn't."
Mara-san: "If he says 'dono' one more time I'll puke."
Hana-chan: "I know... He always gets me dizzy when he is trying to prove his point. Say, Kenshin, do you think I should have fun? Or you think Mara-san has a point when she says that I can't write something about Saitou that she doesn't like?
Kenshin thinks a little: "Both of you have a point. But if sessha must take one side on this dispute, I'll side with Hana-dono. Nothing against Mara-dono... But Hana-dono always write stories about sessha. Mara-dono's stories are all about Saitou... Though, sessha would like very much if Mara-dono wrote a story about Kaoru and him... Because Hana-chan can't write a lemon."
Hana-chan and Mara-san at the same time: "KENSHIN NO HENTAI!"

Hana-chan doesn't own Rurouni Kenshin... Even if she did, after what Kenshin just said she would pretend she didn't. And Mara-san, after the discussion with Kenshin decided to take advantage that she suddenly found herself on tropical climate and went to the beach to catch a tan.

Warning: For funny purposes Aoshi is completely OOC this chapter...

Kaoru Wants a Baby

"You don't understand... She never did that to me before... It's like she is a completely different person."

"Calm down, Aoshi." Kenshin said. "It's not the end of the world."

Kenshin was cooking dinner and Aoshi sat helplessly at the kitchen.

"Maybe she found a man. You know, she is not a little girl anymore. She is not my little girl anymore."

"She never was your little girl. You are not her father." Kenshin replied. 'What is happening to this world? Aoshi asking advice again... This is so weird... Just as weird as Kaoru cooking well, and I know how that ended up.'

"I know that! You know... She always wanted to be around me, but know... She completely ignores me. It's like I'm not even here. I think she doesn't have fun around me."

"Geez, Aoshi. I wonder why..." Kenshin replied, sarcastically.

"How did this happen?"

"Aoshi... She is just having fun hanging out with Kaoru-dono. You know they have their little projects going... Most of them are going to make sessha suffer. You don't see me complaining, do you?" Kenshin smiled. At least now Kaoru's project would work for him, not against him. All because of that book.

"Oi, Kenshin!" Sano called from the kitchen's door. "Close your eyes."

"Why?" Kenshin looked at him, surprised.

"I brought you something from my journey, but I didn't have the time to wrap it."

'If it's another statue, I'll kill him... Those things are ugly and scary. They should be forbidden!' Kenshin thought, closing his eyes.

"There." Sano said, placing something on his hands.

Kenshin opened his eyes.

"Why would sessha want a spear?" Kenshin asked, surprised.

"It's not just a spear! It's the spear that it's used to hunt elephants." Sano said, visibly proud of it.

Kenshin and Aoshi sweat-dropped.

"Do you see any elephants around here, Sano?" Kenshin asked.

"That's not the point!" Sano was disappointed.

"Sessha can use this for fishing, don't you think so, Aoshi?"

Aoshi simply nodded, not really minding about the conversation taking place.

"Oi! I told you it's a spear to hunt elephants! This is not a fishing tool!"

Kenshin just kept pretending he was using the spear to catch fishes, at least until Sano got it from him.

"This is not a toy! If you didn't like it, you should just say so!" Sano was angry.

"Sessha liked it."

"But it's for elephants, not fishes."

"Sessha wants to keep it. Maybe an elephant will appear someday." Kenshin replied.

"Okay, you can have it."

'Sessha will use this for fishing... He doesn't have to know.' Kenshin grinned.

"Well... I'm off. I have to see the fox... about my injures... you know..." Sano said, leaving.

***

´Why is he staring so much?' Kaoru asked herself, while taking another bite at her meal.

Kenshin didn't look away from his wife the entire meal. It was as if he didn't see her in months. 'This is very uncomfortable. Everybody is noticing it. And he has a weird grin on his face... Oh... He is up to something. I can tell! And what is that grin? I've seen it before.' Kaoru blushed when she remembered when she had seen Kenshin's grin. 'Why is it so hot in here?'

"Are you okay, Kaoru-san?" Misao asked.

"Hai. Why shouldn't I be okay?"

"You look like you have a fever."

'Oh, Kenshin! You are going to pay for this! Why embarrass me in front of our guests? You are so dead!'

"Maybe Kaoru-dono should lie down..." Kenshin suggested.

"But I must clean the kitchen..." Kaoru said, trying to avoid Kenshin's gaze.

"Sessha will clean it later..." Kenshin said, flashing her another meaningful smile. "I'll take you to bed, Kaoru-dono."

Misao raised her eyebrows. She thought it would be Kaoru trying to seduce Himura, not the other way around.

Kaoru got up and was about to take her first step when Kenshin swept her out of her feet. He took her to their room and close the shouji door.

"Alone, at last." Kenshin said, on a husky voice, before starting to kiss Kaoru.

"Kenshin? What are you doing?" Kaoru asked, as Kenshin moved to kiss her throat. "Misao and Aoshi are still awake..."

"They are grown ups... They'll understand."

"But, Kenshin... They will hear us..."

"We'll have to be quiet, then."

***

Misao was on her room, pretending not to hear the muffled sounds of 'oh, Kenshin' and 'Kaoru-dono' that came from the other room. She thought about what would be Himura's response when Kaoru suggested 'something different'. 'He'll probably say: "Kaoru-dono! What are you doing?"' She was imagining what Kaoru would suggest, when she heard:

"Kenshin? What are you doing?"

And a few moments later she heard:

"ITAI! My back!"

"What?"

"It hurts!"

Misao went out of her room. The shouji door from Kenshin and Kaoru's room opened, revealing a half dressed Kenshin.

"Sessha will go call Megumi-dono!" His eyes met Misao's. "Misao-dono, could you please take care of Kaoru?"

"Hai..."

"Domo arigatou." And Kenshin disappeared into the night.

Misao went into their room. Kaoru was lying on the floor and just moved her head a little to see who was coming. Misao crouched next to her.

"The naughty book?" Misao asked.

"It's all Megumi's fault!" Kaoru sighed. "Kenshin found the damn book and thought..."

"He thought he could do that. That's bad... Are you in pain?"

"It only hurts if I try to move."

"Megumi is coming. She will tease you to death." Misao said, matter of factly.

***

"This is all your fault, Himura! Kaoru-san is in pain!" Misao scowled at Kenshin.

All Kenshin could do was pace on the dojo's porch, while waiting for Megumi to conclude the examination. Once in a while Misao would remind him how it was his fault and he would let out a 'oro'.

Sano looked grumpy, probably displeased that Kenshin had disturbed his moment with Megumi. Aoshi on his every present stoic expression sat with them, his eyes following Kenshin as he paced like he was waiting for the worse news of his life.

"You are very bad, Himura... Hurting Kaoru-san..." Misao said, shaking her head in disapproval.

Aoshi made a small movement, what led Kenshin to think that he was going to say something. 'He must say something in my favor... We man must stick together." Kenshin leaned to hear what Aoshi would say.

"Misao is right."

Kenshin fell down, anime style. Now everybody agreed that Kenshin was the one to blame for Kaoru's condition - Kenshin included.

Megumi out of the house. Everybody turned to look at her.

"Ken-san... You should take it easy on your wife... Not everybody has the endurance of a Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu master, you know..." Megumi said.

"Is Kaoru-dono going to be okay?"

"She needs to rest, but by tomorrow she must be up and running." Megumi said, sighing. "My work here is done. Rooster head, you walk me home."

"Why should I?" Sano mumbled, but followed her like a puppy.

"There is definitely something between those two..." Misao said.

"That's true..." Kenshin said, absentmindedly.

Misao looked at him.

"What? It's unpolite to gossip about other people... Sessha won't tell that Sano was at the clinic when I got there..."

"And...?"

"And those two looked like they were having fun..." Kenshin said, smiling innocently.

"Having fun like... That book you found kind of fun?" Misao asked.

"ORO! You know about that?"

"Everybody knows that by now." Misao said, matter of factly.

"I don't." Aoshi said.

"Misao-dono! Don't..." Kenshin began, but didn't have time to finish.

"Himura was trying with Kaoru-san something he saw on a naughty book." Misao said.

The always stoic Aoshi seemed like he was having a seizure. His face contorted itself and he bit his lip to prevent the inevitable.

"HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA."

"Huh?" Misao and Kenshin looked at each other.

"He laughs... I didn't think he could." Misao said, staring at Aoshi, that by now was rolling on the floor, holding his stomach and trying desperately not to laugh.

"If he keeps this, he'll turn blue... I don't think he's breathing. Could you try to calm him, Misao-dono? Sessha will check on Kaoru-dono."

Kenshin could still hear Aoshi's laughter when he entered his room.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked. She was lying and it hurt to get up to see who was there.

"Hai, it's me, koishii."

"I heard someone laughing... Who was it?"

"Aoshi."

"You're kidding."

"No."

"Why was he laughing?"

"He thought sessha was funny." Kenshin said, putting on his most famous rurouni grin.

"Why?"

"Onegai, Kaoru-dono... Sessha is embarrassed by it. Please don't ask. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, considering the circumstances. How do you feel about it?"

"Bad..."

"Bad?" Kaoru started crying. "I new it!"

"Is it hurting, Kaoru? Sessha is so sorry..."

"What's done it's done..." Kaoru said, her sobs growing louder. "I should know you would feel bad about it..."

"Of course I feel bad... You are in pain because of me!"

"What are you talking about?" Kaoru asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you talking about my back?"

"You are not talking about your back?"

"No, baka! I'm talking about the baby!" Kaoru blurted.

"What baby?" Kenshin asked, clueless.

"Our baby!"

"ORO!" Kenshin was stunned. "K-kaoru-dono! W-we are g-going to have a ba-baby?" Kenshin stuttered.

"Hai..."

"Sessha is going to be an otou-san???"

"Kenshin? Are you okay? It sounds like you are talking to yourself..."

"Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin kneeled beside her. He was crying. "Sessha was never happier on his entire life..."

"So, you want our baby?" Kenshin moved to hug her, but Kaoru yelled: "NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Kenshin backed away, with a concerned look on his face.

"My back..." Kaoru said, shyly.

"I'm sorry for that, Kaoru-koishii... Is kissing okay?"

"As long as you don't make me moving from this futon."

"Kaoru?"

"Nani?"

"Aishiteru."

"I love you too, Kenshin."

Kenshin leaned to kiss her, when he was interrupted by someone clearing the throat.

"Err... Sorry to interrupt..." Misao said. "Could I borrow that book, Kaoru-san?"

"It's a damned book, Misao-dono! Why would you want it?" Kenshin was the one that spoke.

"Aoshi wants to see it... Maybe it can give him some ideas..." Misao said, dreamy.

***

"It's a pity you are going away so soon..." Kaoru said, hugging Misao at the train station.

"Oh, I'll be back, Kaoru-san! I want to be here when the baby is born!" Misao said, happily.

"Here... This is for you." Kaoru said, handing Misao a love amulet. "I noticed that you didn't buy one at the temple... And I want you to have all the luck you can get. Don't give up, Misao-chan... One day he'll realize that he loves you."

"How can you be sure?" Misao asked.

"By the way he reacted when you said you wouldn't go home with him..." Kaoru smiled. "We both love stubborn men, Misao. Once he can accept his feelings, he'll never let go of you. It was the same with Kenshin. And I know that everything will turn out fine for you. You deserve it."

"Thank you, Kaoru-san... For the amulet, and for your comforting words." Misao gave Kaoru a big bear hug.

"Misao! Let go! This can't be good for the baby!" Kaoru protested.

"Oh! Sorry, Kaoru-san!"

Kenshin looked at the scene not very far from where they were and couldn't help but smile. Aoshi was beside him and Kenshin noticed that he was looking at Misao. 'Probably wondering that she will make them loose the train.' Kenshin thought to himself.

"My best wishes, Himura." Aoshi said.

"Arigatou, Aoshi." Kenshin said. "Ano... I wanted to tell you something..."

"What is it?"

'I'll get my revenge for that Zen talk we had back by the river...' Kenshin thought.

"A river must follow its path. Of course, sometimes it will happen a waterfall with pointy rocks on the bottom. But the river will keep going towards a bigger river, or the ocean." Kenshin said, proud of his imagination.

"You are absolutely right." Aoshi replied.

'Huh? Not even I know what I was talking about!' Kenshin thought, confused.

"I don't think you got what I said. What do you think I was talking about?" Kenshin asked.

"You were saying that life sometimes has tribulations, but in the end everything turns out fine."

"I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about love."

"What? You weren't talking about love!"

"Of course I was... I didn't expect you to understand it either." Kenshin said, pretending that he had actually said something.

"Really? So, what did you mean?"

"Think about it, Aoshi. The answer will come to you."

Aoshi seemed puzzled for a moment. Then he glanced at Misao and gave an understanding nod.

"I'll think about it, Himura."

===OWARI===

EXTRA SCENE - SANO AND MEGUMI (What were Sano and Megumi doing when Kenshin got there to get Megumi to take a look at Kaoru's back?)

"Come on, Sano. I know you can't do this..."

"The hell I can't!"

"But It's too hard... You'll never be able to do this..."

"Megumi! I did it before, why wouldn't I be able to do it again?"

"You will end up loosing your pants..."

"Shut up, fox woman! You will jinx it!"

"Tori-atama... When are you going to realize that you have a problem?"

"Shut up, already! Geez! You always say things like this!"

"But it's true... And you always say you'll get it right this time, but you always miss..."

"I have to concentrate! I won't miss this time!"

"Okay. Roll the dices already!"

Silence.

"You lost. And you don't have any money left, Tori-atama. That's it... I won your pants. But you can keep it. In exchange you'll be my personal slave for three weeks."

"Three weeks? Personal slave..." Sano had a wicked grin.

"Don't dream about it, chicken head... You'll work. Chop the firewood, clean the house, things like that."

"Oh, no... I won't be doing that for three weeks! One day!"

"Three weeks..."

"Let's decided it on the dice..." Sano suggested.

"If you win, I'll be your personal slave for one day. If you loose, you will be my personal slave for life."

"I'll never loose this!" Sano threw the dice.

Silence.

"You lost." Megumi said and sipped her tea.

"You weren't serious about this bet, right?"

"Of course I was... Now you belong to me."

"After this, I'll never bet again..." Sano said.

"I doubt it."

"Do you wanna bet?"

"I rest my case."

===Fim===
Hi, minna-san. Well, this is it. I hope you have enjoyed. I thought this one would be fun to write, but I was wrong again... It was very difficult... Well, I must congratulate Mara-san... She was the only one that reviewed asking if Kaoru was pregnant already. I've been hinting this since chapter two... But I guess it must have slipped out everybody's mind. Thanks everybody for the support! Please review... I need to have 12 reviews, so that this fic can be my most successful fanfiction so far (Could you help me, minna-san?).

By the way, I'll take a break now from funny stories... Three funny stories one after another... it was a bit too much for me. I have another story on fanfiction.net (To love you again), if you miss me, you are welcome to read it. I have plans to write something funny again, but I'll only do it if the good reviewers ask me to... =^x^=

Special thanks to: Kathie (my editor), Juliano (my brother), Bao Blossom (Truth to be told, this girl is funny! ;) ), Gypsy-chan (a talentous fanfic writer. Thanks for the supporting words), Zosocrowe (for "bringing" Sano back), Mara-san (for answering my reviews about Saitou, being on my disclaimer and telling me about amulets).

A big thanks and a big bear hug to the people who supported this story by reviewing: omochi, Kenshin, Crystal Okamino, Rurouni Angel, Sher, SMDSP, Shireoki, J. Liha, Sagara Sanosuke, dramaqueen, Inuki, Bunny (a great fanfic writer and a great person), amakasu toko, dream.baby, Rachel, Firuze Khanume (thanks for reviewing my other story on the Portuguese section), Brat-Girl, chibi-angel (thanks for the e-mails!), Prudence-chan (Obrigada!), Zarine, Susan, Kori Suketchi (UPDATE YOUR STORY, Kori-san!), KnK4ever, saihitei naru, Himura Seshi, JML, Caliko, Katrin, Saturn, JadeAnime, MaraJadeblu, Rin.