Whoa…is that an update I spy? It IS, it IS! 'Tis not a mirage, dear friends, I'm is finally getting off her lazy ass to update!
Ichigo: Oh, shit… I thought we got rid of her!
Me: No such luck, carrot-top.
Ichigo: Don't fucking call me—
Renji: Heh. Carrot-top.
Kira: You have no sense of humor…
Me: Okay, review time! This one is from the dear ultima-owner. And from now on I'm going to correct spelling and grammar and stuff, because I'm nit-picky like that.
Gin/Aizen: How does it feel to be beat by children, girls no less?
Hitsugaya: throw this at Rangiku: *sends a frying pan.* It makes her think that paperwork is fun.
Rangiku: *sends 10,000 years worth of paperwork*
Me: Hey, are you being sexist here? Girls are just as good as guys!
Ishida: Actually, it's scientifically proven that males are actually stronger than—
Me: Shut up! I don't care. Well, Aizen and Gin, how does it feel to be beaten by kids?
Aizen: It was all part of my epic plan.
Gin: It wasn't actually.
Me: So how do you explain being beaten by two kids?
Gin: Um…
Aizen: (whisper) Just go with the epic plan thing.
Gin: It was all part of his (points to Aizen) epic plan.
Me: Right…okay.
Hitsugaya: How does a frying pan make someone think paperwork is fun?
Me: It's magical.
Hitsugaya: Um…let's go with that then. (Glances at frying pan) Exactly how do I use this?
Me: I don't know…hit her on the head with it.
Ichigo: God, you're violent.
Me: Says the boy who starts battles every other day.
Ichigo: I don't start them!
Me: Whatever. Just do it, Hitsugaya.
Hitsugaya: Uh…okay. Oi, Matsumoto!
Rangiku: Yes, captain?
Hitsugaya: (hits her with frying pan)
Rangiku: Ugh… (Collapses)
Me: So…she will like paperwork once she wakes up?
Hitsugaya: Apparently…God I hope this works…
Me: I'm bored. (Revives Rangiku)
Rangiku: Ugh… (Sees Hitsugaya) Did you just hit me on the head, captain?
Hitsugaya: Uh…no.
Rangiku: Because I distinctly remember…(eyes glaze) I'm feeling an urge…to do something…
Gin: Eh?
Rangiku: No…something…else…
Gin: Hmph.
Me: Okay, here's where we see if it worked. (Claps hands) Bring on the paperwork!
(10,000 years worth of paperwork fall on Rangiku)
Rangiku: (Eyes light up) My loves! (Starts doing paperwork)
Hitsugaya: (rubs eyes) It's…actually…happening!
Me: Of course, it will probably wear off.
Hitsugaya: Shut up! Don't ruin my happy moment!
Me: God, sorry. Next review is from ultraanimefan.
Dare: Uryu and Orihime have to kiss.
Then everyone including the author have to become hyper and drunk at the same time. Then sing blah blah blah while hyper and drunk, and then eat Orihime's food until it's all gone and make sure you make a lot.
Me: Wait…what?
Ichigo: Haha! You finally got a dare!
Me: Well you're doing it too, idiot!
Ichigo: Uh…well…that's not the point!
Me: (sighs) Whatever. First things first, Uryu and Orihime have to kiss.
Ishida: (turns bright red) Wh-wha?
Orihime: (blushes) Um…
Rangiku: (smashes their heads together) Okay, now back to paperwork.
Orihime: (blushes) Ow…Rangiku-chan!
Me: Er…does that count as kissing?
Renji: Uh…no.
Me: Whatever. Now, next…we all have to get drunk…
Ichigo: Hah! I say you should be the first to take a sip!
Me: Hmph. (Takes out a bunch of bottles of beer)
Renji: Jesus, woman, why the hell do you have that much booze?
Me: (shrugs) 'S my brother.
Grimmjow: So…your brother has Ulquiorra underpants and infinite alcohol?
Me: Yup.
Grimmjow: Er…ok.
Ichigo: C'mon, drink up!
Me: I think…we should all take a sip at the same time.
Rangiku: Yeah, pass over the booze!
Hisagi: Uh-huh!
Ichigo: (sighs) Fine.
Me: (passes around beer) All right, everyone ready?
Everyone: (nods)
Me: Okay…then cheers!
Everyone: (raises glasses)
Me: Oh, I shouldn't tell you this, but just warning you…
Ichigo: What?
Me: I…can'tholdmydrink. Cheers! (gulps down beer)
Renji: …Wha…?
SOME TIME LATER:
Me: -up! Lissen, ho' stuff!
Ichigo: I'ma…I'ma… wa' the ne…ne…nes' lee-rick?
Renji: (hits Ichigo on the back of the head, then overbalances and falls on top of him)
Ichigo: Ow…fuck y'bastard!
Me: (sways) W…we e'nt v'ry hyper right now, eh?
Rangiku: Eh… whatever. I'ma love wi' this song, so hush, baby, shu' up!
Gin: (slings his arm around Rangiku) Hear' enough!
Renji: (still on top of Ichigo) St' st' st' talk-alk alk alkin' alkin'
Ichigo: (pushes Renji off him) You fuckin' idjit! 'S Stop talk talk talkin' dat blah, blah, blah.
Renji: (grabs Ichigo) Think yo' be geddin' dis nah, nah, nah
Ichigo: (shoves Renji) Nah in de back o' mah ca' ca' ca'
Rukia: (Leaps between them and punches them both) Yo' keep talkin' dat blah blah blah blah blaaaaaah… (Cllapses)
Byakuya: Rukia! (Leaps toward her, trips, then falls on Renji and Ichigo)
Gin: Eh…Buh…buh…buh…bee-ah-chan wait up!
Rangiku: (shouts after Gin) Y' be delayin' always sayin' some shit!
Yoruichi: (slings her arm over Rangiku's shoulders) Y' say I'ma playin', Ah'm neva layin' the dick!
Rangiku: (grabs Hitsugaya) S-sayin' blah, blah, blah
Hitsuagya: E…eh…Muh…muh…massoomoto! (Struggles)
Kisuke: (is roped in by Yoruichi) cause I dun' care in dis bar
Rangiku: