That Stupid Lady Antebellum Song

Summary: There it was on the radio again, that stupid song. Why did it always have to make her wonder if she ever crossed his mind? Post-A Deadly Game.

A/N: Corny? Maybe. But the song fit the situation so perfectly, I couldn't help myself.

Edit: I just realized that the finale title was A Deadly Game, not Overkill. Don't know what I was thinking when I posted, but I chalk it up to posting this story at two in the morning one night, and previously watching the two episodes back to back (one online, one on TV). Sorry for the error, thank you for not bashing me over getting the episode title wrong. Side note, thanks for the reviews! Love the warm welcome to the Castle fandom!

She wanted to hate his guts.

Beckett barely saw the paperwork she was filling out. They had just solved a case where students who recently finished high school had been accidentally killed while both parties were drunk at a wild celebration the night of their graduation ceremony. A terrible tragedy, but fortunately with so many witnesses, they'd been able to wrap up the case quickly.

As expected, the paperwork wasn't going to keep her mind busy. Castle had gone a little over a week, and his absence was noticeable. No one made inappropriate jokes at a crime scene. She wasn't badgered with whatever he and his family was going through that week, while she was trying to solve a case.

And her sentences went unfinished, unless she finished them by herself.

She hated herself for missing him, and she wanted to hate him for making her miss him. It was all his fault, wasn't it? He followed her around, he started up the witty banter between them (the kind that made her smile when she won), he got all petty and jealous the rare occasions she showed interest in other men. He'd wormed his way into her life and convinced her that it was okay to fall for him. Then, when she was finally ready...he went off to spend the summer with his ex-wife.

That seemed like a perfectly good reason to hate the man, didn't it?

Maybe it was...but it wouldn't be fair. Though she could tell that he was falling for her, he'd left the obvious sentiment unsaid between them, there for her to pick up whenever she felt she could. Sure, he'd went out with other girls...but she could hardly fault him for that. She actually preferred it to him abandoning any sort of romance. She would've felt guilty that he was silently pining for her, when she also went out with other men every once in a while.

But none of those relationships had been serious. She always knew that he would drop any of his affairs for her the second she gave the okay. They were just distractions for him, really. On some level, the same went for her "love life" as well. Of course it hurt to see him with someone else at times, but in her heart she always knew he only cared for her.

Then she ruined their game by getting serious with someone. Her telling Castle that she was going away with Demming must have been some kind of final sign that nothing was ever going to happen between them. Though she really wanted to, she couldn't blame Castle for taking what he perceived to be a hint. Did she really expect him to stick around until she was single again, when he thought her relationship with Demming was going to last?

Her good-bye to him played over in her mind every time she thought of it. She'd been about to make her move...then her moment was whipped out from under her, while her heart broke into a million pieces and she wondered what the hell just happened.

And he'd gone off to the Hamptons.

"'And I wonder if I ever cross your mind...for me it happens all the time...'"

Damn that stupid Lady Antebellum song. She glared at the clock radio she'd put on her desk as background noise. Not really caring what she listened to, she'd turned on the first easy listening station she'd found, with the idea that it would help her relax. Of course, she hadn't counted on "Need You Now" playing every few hours as an inadvertent, constant reminder of her situation.

Well, she supposed it wasn't much of a coincidence. Popular love songs were supposed to be relatable, so that people were comforted by them. This one just happened to make her want to throw the radio across the room.

"'Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control, and I need you now...'"

She glanced at her cell phone on her desk. Of course she'd thought about calling him. Just a casual call to tell him that she'd broken up with Demming. But she couldn't do that - it'd be like asking him to come back so they could be together. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that yet.

And it wouldn't be the best time to tell him either when he'd already been alone with his ex-wife for over a week. Who knew how far their relationship had progressed? Castle might have been eager for a new romance since he thought Beckett was permanently unavailable. While she could be wrong, he seemed more the type to distract himself than wallow in her apparent rejection of him.

Unfortunately, she was more the type to wallow.

"'...I'm all alone and I need you now...'"

Beckett gritted her teeth, her grip tight on the pen in her hand. She would not let pettiness get the best of her. The song was almost finished. She could wait until it was done.

"'And I don't know how I can do without...'"

No, she couldn't. Though she hated herself for it, she shut the radio off. But she knew she couldn't deal with silence, so she gave one last look at her paperwork before she decided that it was time to take that lunch break she'd put off. She glanced at the clock to check if it was too late for the guys to go get lunch with her.

She groaned. A quarter after one. Of-freaking-course.

As she rolled her eyes, she got up, grabbed her cell phone along with her light jacket ...and pushed the clock radio off the desk on her way out to lunch.