A/N. So this is officially my first Bones Fanfiction! Have been reading them for a while, but found it incredibly hard to try and write using Temperance Brennan without veering too off character. Extremely difficult... The Bones writers are clearly amazing!

This will just be a short story (probably only a few chapters) dealing with Brennan's feelings after Booth arrests her father back in the earlier seasons. Just so your warned, there is mention of dark thoughts and feelings if your not into that.

As usual, I own Nothing :(

Hope you enjoy! Please read and review. Let me know what you think of it.

She pointlessly swirled the liquid around the glass in front of her. She had no idea how she was supposed to feel at the moment. She kind of wished someone would just tell her exactly what emotion to feel, even though she knew that's not how it worked. She brought the glass to her lips, letting the liquid run down her throat quickly. She winced as it burnt, feeling the sensation course through her body, through her veins. It didn't stop her from signalling to the bartender to pour her another. Her partner had arrested her father today. Her partner, her best friend had locked up her criminal, abandoning father. And she, Temperance Brennan was an emotional wreck.

She had told Booth repeatedly that she was ok with it. That her father was a thief, and a murderer, and someone who completely abandoned his kids when they were still in their teens. Someone who let his daughter be shipped to foster home after foster home. Someone who let his daughter live with total strangers. Someone who felt no guilt over leaving his daughter feeling miserable, leaving her be abused verbally and physically. Leaving her alone to hate herself. How do you forgive someone like that? Someone who was supposed to protect you, but instead let all these terrible things happen to you.

How was she supposed to get over that fact that when her parents left her, and her brother left her, she actually wanted to die.

People thought she was weird growing up, she knew that. She would never say anything to anyone, always wore clothes that covered every inch of her, even in Summer, and people thought she was way too fascinated with dead things. But the truth was, a lot of the time her mind was on death and dead things. Whether her parents were dead, whether her brother was dead? And truth be told, sometimes she wanted to be dead just so she could stop thinking about them. She had thought about the most successful ways to end her life, had thought it all through, planned for every possibility. Sometimes that's just what helped get her through. But she knows the part of her that wanted to kill herself back then never leaves. Not completely anyway. Its always there, in the background of her current life. All of these reasons should make her hate her father, should make her never want to see him again. But she doesn't feel like that, doesn't hate him at all. And that's what bothers her the most.

She took another long sip of her drink, slamming the empty glass onto the bar with more force that necessary. The glass shattered in her palm, shards of glass falling through her fingers.

"Are you ok Miss?" she heard the bartender ask as she watched him quickly sweep the glass off the table and into the trash.

"Yeah I'm fine. Sorry about the glass". She said over her shoulder as she headed to the door.

"Miss, your bleeding" she heard him yell, but she pretended not hear and kept walking.

She walked out onto the street, pausing for a second as she tried to remember where she had parked her car. She frowned, unsure if she had even driven here at all...maybe she had waled? She had no idea. She stared down at her hand, the blood beginning to pool in her palm. He knew it was stupid, but the pain in her hand was all that was grounding her at the moment. Just like it used to all those years ago. She felt like she actually had a little bit of control back, and it made her feel good.

She walked to the end of the block, peering down side streets till she thought she found one that looked slightly familiar. She wandered along the sidewalk, stumbling every few steps. She was obviously far more intoxicated than she first thought. It was then that she saw her car, parked under a broken streetlight outside a closed auto shop.

"That's right" she said to herself, slowly beginning to piece her night back together.

"What's right?" she heard someone ask.

She turned sharply at the sound, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness. Even though she couldn't see him, she would know that voice anywhere.

"What do you want Booth?" she said tiredly.

"Just wanted to check on you Bones, see how you were doing" he said calmly.

"By hanging out in the dark by my car...?" she shot back.

He smiled, and even in the darkness she could feel his eyes trying to lock with hers.

"Well I couldn't find you could I? You weren't in any of our usual places...And you weren't exactly answering your phone either. What was I supposed to do?"

"Sorry" she muttered, dropping her gaze from his. "I'm fine Booth. There is no need to be concerned."

"Hmm... well I hear what your saying Bones, but fro some reason I just don't quite believe you." he said, his tone light and his voice smooth.

"Whatever, I don't have time for this..." she said sharply, turning away from him and heading towards her car. It was then that she felt him move towards her, his cold hand slipping around her wrist.

"I'm really sorry Bones. I was just doing my job. You know that right?" he whispered.

"I know. I just don't really know how to feel at the moment, that's all." she said quietly, still facing away from him.

"Hey" he said softly, sliding a finger under her chin and forcing her to look at him. "I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you....Never."

She just nodded, not saying anything, his beautifully deep eyes boring into her own.

"Let me drive you home..."

She shook her head no, and attempted to walk past him. He jumped back in front of her, blocking her exit. He knew from the faraway look in her bloodshot eyes that she was too intoxicated to drive. She put a hand to his hard chest, pushing him away from her.

"I already told you I'm fine Booth. I don't need this... I don't need you right now..."

As she took off past him she began to rummage through her bag, cursing as she searched for her missing keys.

"You've been drinking Bones. Please, just let me help you. I know you keep saying that you don;t need me, but I'm your friend. Your best friend. I just want to be here for you. I know you must be hurting inside."

She took one look at his pleading eyes and the worry etched into his face and crumbled. She dropped to the ground, her legs in the gutter and her head in her hands.

He moved towards her broken figure, sitting beside her and putting a comforting hand on her back. He rubbed circles over her coat, before pushing her hair off her face and tucking it behind her ear. He could see her normally bright blue eyes brimming with tears. He was just about to whisper something comforting to her when he noticed the blood tricking down her hand and onto her faded jeans.

"Bones, what happened?" he said instantly worried. He quickly snatched her hand and gave it the once over.

She just shrugged, taking her hand back and cradling it in her lap.

"Come on" he said, pulling her up off the ground and wrapping a arm around her waist to steady her.

"I'm taking you to hospital."