A/N: In commemoration of my 100th fic, I decided to do... this. It's odd. Crossover with every single fandom I've ever done more than one thing and not just crossovers for (therefore leaving out Dragonlance, Kim Possible, Stargate: Atlantis, Harry Potter and White Collar). It only features my OTC or OTP depending on the fandom. And can I just say that I did Twilight BEFORE it got scary? Thank you.
(The setting is a warm, small coffee house. A group of friends has gathered.)
Ninth Doctor: (confused, with a hint of sarcasm) So, wait, one moment you were "this kid's dangerous, Yoda says so" and the next you were "I'll train him no matter what, Master!" What happened there?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: (seriously) It was a very traumatic time in my life.
Ninth Doctor: What happened to the whole "no feelings" thing?
Obi-Wan: A Jedi does has feelings but does not let them have power in his decisions.
Ninth Doctor: (sarcastic) That sure worked out for you.
Obi-Wan: I do not believe you have the right to judge. How often have you let your emotions get the better of you? Remember the Dalek?
Ninth Doctor:(incredulously) I'd sure like to see you come up against your mortal enemy and not get angry!
Obi-Wan: The Sith?
Ninth Doctor: And you didn't get angry at all when Darth Maul showed up and killed Qui-Gon--
Daniel Jackson: (annoyed, looking up from his book) Oh, my goodness, will you two stop arguing?
Rose Tyler: You were a bit scary when we met the Dalek, Doctor. But it was okay, I understand.
Daniel: (going back to his book)And you two can get a room.
Ninth Doctor: (quickly)And just what do you mean by that?
Daniel: (matter-of-factly)I mean you two are just a bit disgusting and I'm trying to work on this translation here and you're distracting. I mean, you're hundreds of years older than her, what the heck--
Ninth Doctor: (defensively)You should talk! You kissed your girlfriend's daughter! And why are you trying to work on a translation here anyway?
Daniel: I need to get this done before the briefing tomorrow and Vala's not my girlfr--
Vala Mal Doran: (joining the group, wrapping her arms around Daniel's neck)Hello, Danny boy.
Ninth Doctor: (amused)You were saying?
Daniel: (pauses, releasing himself from Vala's arms)At least Adria's matured. At least I didn't have the hots for a baby, like someone else...
Jacob Black: (suddenly, looks up from his coffee)Hey, I can't control who I imprint on!
Obi-Wan: (to Jacob)He does have a point. That is a bit revolting.
Jacob: You know, if I'd had a choice in it, I would've never gone for Renesmee. I mean, seriously, she's half vampire. You know, like, my mortal enemy?
Ninth Doctor: (eager)Hey, do you ever get angry when you face your mortal enemy?
Obi-Wan: (exasperately)Oh, will you give it up?
Jacob: (duh)Well, yeah, that's how I transform into a werewolf.
Shawn Spencer: (loudly, dramatically as he walks in)Wait! I'm having a vision! Oh! Wait! Here it comes! ...You're not actually a werewolf! You're a shapeshifter.
Jacob: (unamused)Dude. Just stop.
Shawn: (continuing, still dramatic)There are real werewolves, but they're in, like, Europe or something!
Jacob: Everyone knows you're a fake, Shawn! The psychic crap is just bull, you live in a non-fantasy world!
Shawn: Hey, but I make life funny with my crazy antics! I'm awesome!
Tony Stark: (haughtily, coming up behind him with Pepper Potts)The only way you could ever be considered awesome is if you managed to become a multi-billionare playboy by pretending to be a psychic. I mean, honestly, you can't even get that Detective O'Hara to sleep with you.
Shawn: (offended)Hey! I could if I wanted to! And you haven't gotten Pepper to sleep with you either!
Pepper Potts: (unsure of how to react)Whoa...
Vala: (piping up)Hey, everyone has their kryptonite.
Daniel: (slowly)If you're talking about me...
Obi-Wan: You are all so immature.
Rose: I don't see why sleeping together has to mean anything.
Vala: (scoffing)Oh, yeah, you're so innocent. C'mon, girl, you dress like a slut!
Rose: Hey! I dress cute, thank you! And you should talk!
Vala: (sarcastic)Hey, BDUs can be fashionable!
Pepper: (barely even looking up from her coffee)They're not flattering, that's for sure.
Vala: (offended)Oh, right, and you get to be the judge of all of us, Miss I'm The Secretary Of Tony Stark And Get To Sleep With Him Whenever I Want Because He Has--
Tony: (slowly)I thought we just established that she hasn't slept with me...
Rose: At least I wear more clothes than his girlfriend.
Michael Westen: (barely registering the comment, not looking up from his newspaper)Fi's not my girlfriend.
Jacob: (amused)Just like how Vala's not Daniel's girlfriend?
Michael: (looks up, shortly)Yes, actually.
Vala: (eagerly)Where is Fi, by the way? I was hoping I could catch up with her.
Daniel: (under his breath)Which is never a dangerous thing...
Michael: (shrugs)All I know is that if you hear about an explosion on the way home, it was probably her.
Obi-Wan: See, there is another example of why you shouldn't let emotions control you. It gets dangerous for everyone.
Michael: (frowning)Somehow I get the feeling that's why Fi likes it.
Shawn: Wait, back up a bit, you're saying Fi's not your girlfriend? Can I have her number?
Michael: (quickly)No.
Tony: (amused)Oo, possessive, isn't he?
Michael: (glares)
Vala: (excitedly)Look at that calm, cool and collected glare! Reminds me of yours, Daniel.
Daniel: (glares)
Vala: (smile dropping slightly)Yeah. That one.
Obi-Wan: (finally, standing up)Well, this has all been very informative and exciting, but I have to go. I can't leave Anakin alone for too long or he'll get Padme pregnant or do something equally dramatic.
Ninth Doctor: (standing up as well)Yeah, Rose and I are wasting valuable time that could be spent traveling through space and time.
Rose: (following in the Doctor's suit, excitedly)Where to next?
Ninth Doctor: (grinning)I was thinking World War II? Maybe we'll meet up with some gas-masked people and a con-artist from the fifty-first century. You never know.
Rose: (wonderingly)I hope the con-artist is metrosexual.
Ninth Doctor: (shaking his head)Nah, that'd be a little too exciting, even for me.
Vala: (eyes wide)There are still con-artists in the fifty-first century? See, Daniel, it's a good job!
Daniel: (irritated)I don't think it's actually considered a job, Vala. We should probably go, too. Remember we're leaving for the Asgard home world tomorrow.
Vala: (following him out the door)Right. That's just supposed to be this in and out thing, right? Because I have a spa date with Sam...
Jacob: (taking one last sip of coffee)I should get going as well. I can't leave Renesmee with her parents for too long. They like to, uh... have fun often. I'm trying to keep Renesmee away from that as long as I can.
Shawn: Dude, that's gross.
Jacob: (nodding)Exactly. You know, sometimes I think my life is like some really bad movie.
Shawn: (suddenly)Crap! Movies! I've got to go, too! Gus and I are going to this Hitchcock triple feature at the cinema! It's going to rock, I love Hitchcock.
Tony: Aw, why go to that when you could go to the new Iron Man movie?
Pepper: (rolling her eyes)Oh, grow up, Tony.
Tony: (defensively)What? It's a good movie!
Pepper: You only like it because you like oggling at Scarlett Johansson. Do you even know what happens in it?
Tony: (pompously)Of course I do. Iron Man saves the day. Like usual.
Pepper: (not convinced)Mm-hm. And how does that happen?
Tony: (grabbing her elbow, standing up)You know, why don't we go see it again and I'll show you?
Pepper: Cop out.
Tony: Come on, it'll be fun.
Pepper: (sighing)I'm only coming because I know I won't convince you not to go and you need someone to make sure you behave.
Tony: Yeah, right. You like the movie.
Michael: (glances around, smiles) Ah, good. I don't know why I keep coming to these get togethers. They're always too loud.
(Phone rings)
Gilroy: Michael. I need your help with a little job. Are you available for the next hour or so?
Michael: (with fake sweetness)Anything for you, Gilroy. (hangs up and presses the speed dial) Sam, how'd you like to be a sniper for the day? I need some back up.
A/N: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ AND/OR REVIEWED ANY OF MY 100 STORIES OVER THE PAST FIVE YEARS. I LOVE YOU ALL!
I love reviewers and live for constructive criticism!