Woo, this one went over well!

As stated, this Random idea is the result of lack of sleep and too much late night anime, in this case DBZ and Fairy Tail.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Hell of a day.

Hades…the Underworld…Hell.

No matter your faith or ideology, this is the last destination for those whose lives have been fraught with the suffering of others.

Well, not really, all that fire an brimstone is really just for show, a relic of a bygone era, back when the boss ran around dressed in a cheap tuxedo, poking people in the ass with his pitchfork.

Needless to say, Enma Daio had matured a little over the millennia, having the living crap beaten out of you by King Kai, not to mention almost being eaten alive by the Princess of Snake Way, will do that to a deity, and so the underworld underwent a little…restructuring.

The highest level, the one where the poor unfortunate souls of those damned for minor offences were sent, was little more than a hellish rest-centre, where the ogres kept an eye on the little vapor clouds until they either served their penance or reincarnated.

The Lower levels however, where the sadistic, mass-murdering sociopaths and ne'er-do-wells were sent, were picture perfect for the stereotypical 'hell hole', filled with pits of fire, towering mountains that tore the flesh, raging thunderstorms and not a hint of light in the darkest of hours.

Those consigned to THIS pit were those who, generally, made such colossal pests of themselves that it was downright retarded to let them run free topside, where they could stumble across the 'secret exit', which in reality simply lead back to Enma Daio's office.

Now normally, one would question having such an exit in the first place, especially considering that, to the denizens of the lower levels, the Oni left in charge of guarding it were hideously under qualified, but Enma Daio was firm, stating that accidents had happened before, and you didn't argue with the giant, bearded Deity with the fire breathing, laws of time-and-space deforming mahogany desk.

Getting back on track, here, in the literal belly of the underworld, the very worst of the worst are held in confinement until the end of days, squabbling amongst themselves in vain attempts at passing the time, or getting together in groups to plot ways of escape, none of which succeeded, partially due to their inability to go two seconds without stabbing the others in the back, and partially because Enma Daio had a man on the inside, so to speak.

A deserted peak...

Deep within the confines of the underworld, resting atop one of the tallest, storm wracked peaks, a lone figure sat in meditation, his long white cape fluttering behind him in the dry, static filled air.

At first glance, one might mistake him for a really tall man. After getting a second look, those that dared to brave the storm to do so would see that the 'man' was, in fact, green, dressed in a purple karate gi with red obi under a weighted mantle with massive shoulder pads and burnoose, a weighed turban adorning his head. His bare, muscular arms were adorned with pink patches of flesh, and if one looked closely, those who hadn't already been fried by the lightning that is, it was clear to see that his hands only possessed three fingers instead of the usual four.

The man's name was Piccolo, onetime scourge of the planet earth, or one of them anyways, as that particular name was rather popular in the northern region of space, and now live-in warden of the Underworld.

It was a completely voluntary position, in a manner of speaking, as Piccolo HAD been originally slated for heaven, being not only one of his adoptive planet's greatest heroes, despite a less than stellar start, but a former 'God' in his own right, though the technical term was 'Guardian', but far be it from the higher ups to meddle in the affairs of mortals.

The reason behind the Namekian's tenure within the infernal pits was a tale far too long to explain here, involving, for lack of a better word, a prison break, a ruse to lure earth's champion into the underworld, and Piccolo pretending to be his own father in order to provide a means for said champion to return to the land of the living.

Quite the saga, worthy of a rock ballad when you get down to it, but right now the only thing on Piccolo's mind was meditation, both to bolstering his ki reserves and to commune with Dende, his 'successor' back on earth, and generally making a pest of himself wherever the other denizens were concerned.

Cell, in particular, simply couldn't get over the fact that Piccolo, who he could once slap around with his pinkie, could now take him down without too much effort on the namekian's part. The composite bio-android just couldn't seem to click that, being dead, his power level wouldn't rise every time Piccolo cleaned his clock, as the DNA he'd 'inherited' from the Saiyans didn't work post-humusly.

The Bio-Roid was usually found in the company of Frieza, one-time gender-confusing terror of the universe, now simply second-banana to Cell and hating every minute of it. The two of them had come VERY close, in their own deluded minds, to finishing Goku off during his tenure here, being dead meant they could take a licking despite the Saiyan's power-up over the years, only for Goku to prove to be the monkey wrench, pun intended, in their plans once again.

Not that this kept them from trying mind you, oh no, the deluded duo usually made their bid to escape their imprisonment once every other week, usually corralling the former Tyrant's father and lackeys into tagging along, literally raising hell until Piccolo showed up to smack some sense out of them, before promptly returning to his meditation.

If he were any other man, the sheer monotony of it all would have driven the former 'demon king' insane. But Piccolo had never been one for socializing, preferring the solitudes of the wastelands or Kami's Lookout to enduring the slack-jawed stares of the mindless masses he was sworn to protect. So other than having to shield himself from the occasional lightning bolt, nothing entirely new actually, and swooping in to save the hapless Oni he was unofficially in charge of, Hell wasn't all that bad.

In retrospect, after that train of thought, the surly Namek really should have been expecting what was coming when the Oni in a white-collar shirt and tie clambered up to see him with an envelope in hand.

Enma's office...

"The HELL is this?" Piccolo demanded, the mighty Namekian once again standing before Enma Daio's admittedly impressive desk, a sheet of paper held out before him and a look of annoyance on his face.

"Exactly what it looks like." Enma replied, the massive, bearded Oni in a well-cut purple suit peering over the edge of his desk with a neutral expression "A Petition for reincarnation, signed and approved by yours truly."

"I didn't petition for anything." Piccolo countered, glaring up at the bearded deity, his look of annoyance seemingly permanently fixed to his face as the attendant Oni began to creep away from the likely battle zone "In fact, last I checked, those sentenced to hell don't GET a second chance."

"Not normally, no." Enma admitted, shaking his head, before patting a massive hand on a stack of files that occupied the 'out' tray on his desk, which was still nothing compared to his considerable 'in' tray, which was set on the floor to the side of his desk "However, in light of your prior action, and your recent achievements down below, I deemed in necessary to make an exception in this case."

"I didn't do all this for anyone's benefit." Piccolo countered, crossing his arms with a defiant snort, smirking cruelly "I just felt like getting even with those freaks down below for all the trouble they caused."

"I told you he'd be difficult." A voice chuckled, Piccolo turning to glare over his shoulder at an elder Namekian, though not nearly as old as Kami had been prior to their fusing, dressed in the simplistic, robe-like garments of their people with the kanji for 'Kami' over the front, though with a sleeveless brown jacket rather than the traditional blue cloak.

"Dende…" Piccolo muttered, his eyes narrowing in understanding as he eyed his 'replacement' and pseudo brother with a frown "Why am I not surprised to find you involved in this?"

"Because Nail knows me all too well." Dende replied with a smile, referring to the first Namek that Piccolo had fused with all those years ago to combat Frieza, for all the good it did.

"There is that…" Piccolo noted, a hint of amusement in his tone as he scoffed at the younger, in age if not appearance, Namek's gall "Still doesn't explain what you think you're up to."

"Simply giving you the chance you deserve." Dende countered, looking his fellow Namekian in the eye as he spoke "You gave your life to ensure the Black Star Dragon Balls never plague the universe again, and then your place in heaven to send Goku back to us."

"I did it because it HAD to be done." Piccolo countered, crossing his arms with a scowl that to many would be deemed threatening, but to those who knew him meant he didn't like the way the conversation was going "I made those choices of my own free will, I've got no regrets."

"Sure…" Dende muttered, quirking his eyebrow in a way that Piccolo suspected must have come with his position, the patented 'I'm God, don't try to bullshit me' look that Kami had used so well "Either way, it's already been decided."

"No it HASN'T." Piccolo countered, scowling at his successor defiantly as he crossed his arms before him, sending Dende's look right back at him, as if to remind the younger namekian that he TOO had been 'God' at one point "Last I checked, reincarnation is an optional fate, meaning it's down to ME, not Enma, and certainly not you."

"That's true…" Enma admitted, though Piccolo could swear the bearded deity's smile was decidedly more smug than it had right to be "In the case of those sent heavenward that is, those sent down below don't get a choice, if I say they reincarnate, they're outta here." He smirked "How do you think Uub came about?"

With Piccolo...

Piccolo cursed, having forgotten the reincarnated majin that had become Goku's student, having had little to no interaction with him while alive, since while the duo had trained at the lookout, he had opted to retreat to the wastelands and forests, his usual haunts, for a little peace and quiet.

After all, he couldn't very well meditate with all the noise those two were making, not to mention Kami's screeches of indignation as the Lookout was torn apart from within.

'In hindsight, destroying the door to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber WASN'T such a hot idea.' The Namekian warrior muttered, shaking his head with a frown 'Still, doesn't change my dilemma now does it?"

"I know this must come off as rather sudden Piccolo." Dende admitted, the younger, if not in appearance, Namekian's features kind, and his tone reassuring as he looked up at his late predecessor "But I'm not the only one who feels you deserve this chance, as the petition will show."

Piccolo frowned, one of the ridges over his eyes rising in a manner reminiscent of a quirked a eyebrow as one of Enma's white-collar lackeys shuffled forwards, a large, make that massive scroll tucked under one deceptively scrawny arm. Coming to a halt before the former Guardian, the Oni unfurled the scroll, letting it drop to the floor as he help it out to Piccolo to examine, the Namek's eyes widening as he espied the sheer multitude of names.

One name in particular stood out amongst the rest, a name that Piccolo hadn't heard in years, decades even judging by Dende's appearance, but which nonetheless held a particular spot in the Namek's no-longer beating heart.

"It was Gohan who contacted me regarding the petition in the first place." Dende admitted, the aged healer smiling at the memory of his young friend from Earth, who had passed away a long time ago "He thought it unfair that, after everything you went through, you had to suffer being grouped together with the likes of Frieza and Cell."

"Those losers aren't a threat to me anymore and he knows it." Piccolo countered with a snort, though he couldn't help the warm feeling his young friend's concern formed in his chest "What surprises me is how you got so many names."

"Well, all of the crew from earth signed up without question…" Dende admitted, only to wince slightly at Piccolo's quirked brow "Alright, Vegeta and Chichi took a while, but hey, I'm Kami, patience is a virtue."

"I'll bet…" Piccolo scoffed, smirking as he recalled the Prince of all Saiyans' stubborn streak. Vegeta and he had started out as bitter enemies, then uneasy allies, before finally developing a bond of camaraderie that all the Z-Warriors shared. It helped that, out of the entire group, they were the only ones that could stay serious for any length of time, though Vegeta's Saiyan battle lust vexed the Namek to no end. And that didn't even BEGIN to compare to the rocky relationship between him and Chichi, Goku's spouse, and mother of Gohan and Goten.

In Piccolo's opinion, which was secretly shared by most of the Z-Warriors, Son Chichi had been a loud, annoyingly overprotective woman that didn't know her own mind. She honestly had the GALL to place a higher value on such a redundant thing as homework when an alien menace was threatening to wipe out all life on the planet.

Of course, things had ALWAYS been strained between the two, as Chichi had never really forgiven the Namek for 'kidnapping' Gohan as a child and turning him, in her own words, into a 'no-good-delinquent'. Piccolo would normally ignore such a tirade, but Vegeta hadn't given the woman the moniker 'harpy' for nothing, a title that any Namek, with their advanced hearing, felt aptly justified.

"King Kai also had all of his former pupils on the Grand Kai's planet sign up." Dende revealed, gesturing to the additional names that made up the majority of the scroll with his staff "Pikkon, the champion from West quadrant signed up as well."

"I don't even KNOW these people…" Piccolo muttered, his brows twitching in exasperation as he eyed the sheer multitude of names in disbelief "I mean seriously, why would they even CARE that I'm down here?"

"You're one of them Piccolo." Dende shot back, the aged healer's smile patient, though his eyes bore a hint of hidden mischief that Piccolo would have missed were it not for Nail's memories "They can't wait for you to join them on the Grand Kai's plane, once your tenure is over."

"Good thing they're dead," Piccolo muttered, mentally forcing the scroll to roll up again, tossing it to the Oni with a snort "cause then they won't have to hold their breath, I'm not doing this, and even if I DID, don't they know how long a Namekian's average lifespan is?"

"Like you said…" Dende chuckled, the aged healer turned minor diety smirking back at his deceased counterpart with a smug little smile on his wrinkled face "They're dead, they've all the time in the world."

"Well I Certainly DON'T!" Enma roared, the massive deity slamming his hammer on the gavel as he glared down at the suddenly nervous Nameks. For as powerful as they were, it didn't change the fact he was a huge-ass demon with the power to make their lives, or afterlives, a living hell if he saw fit "Can you two wrap this up? I've got a busy schedule ahead of me and you're holding up the line!"

"S-Sorry Enma!" Dende offered, waving his hands before him apologetically whilst chuckling weakly, something that gave Piccolo a strange sense of Déjà vu from Kami's memories, before turning to face the taller Namekian with a sigh "Looks like this is it."

"You do realize that without ME down there, Cell and Frieza are sure to start something sooner or later." Piccolo muttered, eyeing the aged healer with his traditional angry poker face, deciding to pull out his trump card.

"No need to worry about that." Enma chuckled, the bearded Deity looking very pleased with himself as he stroked his beard "We've already looked into getting an replacement, hell he practically volunteered for the job."

"Who is it?" Piccolo wondered, cursing as his last-ditch attempt was shot to hell, literally, his eyes narrowing as a form appeared in the doorway, features hidden by the light, though he could make out a blue gi, white boots and a cape, his eyes widening as the light dimmed, revealing an all-to-familiar figure with giant ears, horns, a styled goatee and widow's peak, and glowing golden eyes "YOU!"

"Greetings, noble warrior." Dabura greeted, the King of all Demons offering a polite bow, his forehead devoid of Babidi's crest, and his trademark leer missing from his face, making him seem almost regal in appearance "It is honor to stand before you once again, I do so apologize for our…first impression."

"What in the hell is HE doing here?" Piccolo demanded, rounding on Dende and Enma whilst pointing at the Demon King, who showed no outward reaction to the Namek's finger in his face "Scratch that, why isn't he down there with the others?"

"Dabura was sent heavenward after losing to Buu back on earth." Dende explained, shrugging his shoulders at Piccolo's quirked brow "Enma Daio figured he'd enjoy himself too much down below."

With Piccolo again...

"So it's like the opposite of what happened to me." Piccolo muttered, the Namek shaking his head at the irony of it all as he eyed the late Demon King warily, looking the former Majin up and down with a critical stare.

He had to admit, as replacements went Dabura was probably the best man for the job, hell he was probably better suited than the Namek ever had been, he certainly dressed the part. Add to that, the number of people with the power to back up the rules and keep the inmates in line could be counted on one hand, and Piccolo would never agree to letting Gohan or one of Goku's other descendants take his place in hell, even for a short time.

He certainly couldn't see Vegeta agreeing taking up the position, hell he didn't WANT to think of what would happen if he locked the volatile Saiyan prince in Hell with Frieza and Cell.

In terms of power, Dabura was probably a little stronger than Cell, at least as far as the former Majin's fight with Gohan on Babidi's ship had gone, according to Vegeta anyways. He also had the advantage of that Demonic Saliva of his that turned his enemies to stone, so if push came to shove, Frieza and Cell could serve eternity as Pigeon roosts.

"Keep an eye out for Cell's tail." He warned the Demon King, looking the former Majin in the eyes as he spoke "If he gets you with that he can absorb your power, other than that, they're all yours."

"Many thanks," Dabura offered, the Demon King inclining his head towards the Namekian with a hand over his chest once again "I am glad to provide this service in light of past misdeeds, and hope you too can find the atonement you deserve in your next life."

"Uh right…" Piccolo muttered, a bead of sweat adorning the back of his head as one of his 'underlings' stepped forward to escort the new 'custodian' of Hell to his post, turning to look at Enma as they vanished "The hell did you people do to that guy?"

"Nothing at all." Enma countered, looking affronted "Dabura wasn't ENTIRELY evil when he reigned as king in his own dimension, truth be told he was mostly beneficent, albeit…darkly so. Babidi simply brought out the true evil of his demon nature, which made him all the more violent."

"I somehow DOUBT he was anything like what I just saw prior to that." Piccolo muttered, scowling as Enma averted his eyes pointedly, looking uncomfortable "Did you hit him on the head too hard with that hammer of yours?"

"Maybe a little…" Enma admitted, sounding like a child caught stealing from the cookie jar for a moment, before rounding on the Namek with a snarl "Enough about that! I don't answer to you and it's none of your damned business!"

"Two words…Double Mint." Piccolo muttered, waving a hand in front of his face with a grimace as the wind from the deity's roar blew his cape back, ignoring the seething bureaucrat in favor of looking at Dende, who seemed highly amused by the whole thing, not bothering to hide his shaking shoulders "You're sure there's no way to talk you two out of this?" he asked, his tone resigned, but determined to go down fighting nonetheless.

"Afraid not." Dende quipped, smiling up at the taller Namek as he shook his head, the amusement in his eyes clearly visible "It wont be so bad, you'll retain your memories of your past life, so it won't be a COMPLETE return…Also, since fusing with Kami and Nail, you'll be stronger than you were the first time round."

"Well that's a plus I suppose..." Piccolo muttered, the Namek crossing his arms with a grunt even as he sensed twin sighs of relief from his 'tenants' inside the recesses of his mind "So when exactly do I set out?"

"You already left." Dende returned, smiling at the look of confusion on the elder Namek's face, just before he vanished in a blur of motion "Popo was right, it IS fun to do that!"

One magical journey through time and space later...

Porlyusica sighed, the anti-social healer having just seen off her old acquaintance Markarov, and the poor, unfortunate little girl the perverted midget had brought to see her, having done what she could to restore the lass' right eye.

In the end, there wasn't much that COULD be done, healing wasn't the most precise of magics, and Porlyusica's relied heavily on herbs, potions, and the body's own natural fortitude, which fortunately the lass, Erza she believed her name was, had possessed in spades.

'Such a poor thing…' she sighed, recalling how only one of the girl's eyes had shed tears despite all her best efforts, only for Erza to bravely brush such concerns aside, thanking her for her help 'Markarov, you truly can't keep your nose out of other people's business…'

Shaking her head, the healer turned, preparing to head back to her home, which resided in the trunk of a living tree, when she paused, her brows knotting as she sensed something off to the side, something that hadn't been there earlier.

'What's this?' she wondered, stepping forwards cautiously, as despite loathing the company of humans, that didn't particularly mean she cared for a wild animal to break into her apple crates, particularly not the batch she'd just picked the other day 'An egg?'

It was indeed an egg, though not one from any species Porlyusica could recall, and she knew the denizens of her forest home better than anyone, save the trees themselves. It was large, about the size of a beach ball, the shell tinted a faint green in the light of the forest, resting as calm as could be amongst her apples, like it belonged there.

Porlyusica certainly didn't think so, and was reaching out to remove the oversized omelet in the making when it twitched, her eyes widening as cracks formed in the shell, stepping back to give the newly hatched creature room to finish it's escape from confinement.

She certainly wasn't expecting a green fist to punch through the shell, followed by another, the two working in tandem to tear the shell off and toss it to the side, revealing a bald, green skinned child, approximately three years old by the look of it, with antenna and pink, muscular patches adorning it's arms glaring at the world around it, gasping for breath and covered in green yolk.

"I'm going to fucking KILL Dende…" it growled, teeth clenched in irritation at whoever this 'Dende' person was, before collapsing forwards, it's strength apparently spent as it collapsed face first into her apple crates, spilling fruit everywhere.

Needless to say, Porlyusica felt the beginnings of a headache she normally only experienced when dealing with Markarov's latest act of stupidity building up behind her eyeballs.

And that'll do for now.

As I said before, the basic premise for this is as follows: Piccolo is in Hell. Which sucks majorly. Dende, being the semi-omnipotent deity that he is, has inherrited his predecessors need to meddle in the affairs of those he deems worth it (amusing) to do so, and so petitions to have Big Green revived, in a manner that won't bring the be-damned Black Star Balls back with him.

And so reincarnation is the way of the day, fortunately he's still a Namek, unlike Buu, who became human.

For those of you who wonder just how powerfull Piccolo is, and whether or not he's gonna be overpowered, the answer is, thankfully no, I'm not so cheap.

Piccolo will start off with a measley, for HIM anyways, powerlevel, on a ccount of his JUST HAVING HATCHED. However, since he's fused with Nail and Kami, his base power level as a child should be around 1,400. Impressive for a child, but compared to what he had prior to his sacrifice, barely adequate.

Radditz: I...effing...hate you all...

Ghost Nappa: Saiyan as strong as a saiban says what?

Kyugan: *smirks as Radditz starts ripping his hair out* As such, he can probably get off two Makankousappo a day to begin with *Namekians look like five year olds when they hatch, right?* but he'll not be using it on account of it taking too long to charge up.

It won't take 5 minutes, like the first time, but it'll take longer than he's used to since he lacks the power to get it out quickly, though he has the mental strength required to speed it up.

Also, there will be a lot of alteration to the main plotline, such as Wendy being included in Fairy Tail from the start. *when Charle's going to join is beyond me*, expect Piccolo to play a major role in this, since he's effectively replacing Mystogan.

GN: Sorry Myst, badass as you are, we still know jack about you from Adam.

Kyugan: My reasons for doing this are simplicity itself, their true names are strangely simillar.

GN: 'choo talkin' 'bout kyugan?

Kyugan: According to the Fairy Tail Wiki, *yes, it exists people* Mystogan's Real Name could be 'Another World', a reference to a character from Hiro-sensei's other work, Rave.

Chibi-Wendy: *Cute head tilt* I still don't get it...

Kyugan: *So f-in Ky-ute it shouldn't be legal!* Well, according to Mr. Popo *eyes the shadows warily* Piccolo's name, in the namek language, means Another World.

Wendy: *Big sparkly eyes* COOL!

GN: I still don't get it.

Popo: Then we're gonna have a problem...

Kyugan: *as Nappa's screams fill the air* Oh god! Review! *Popo's Laughter draws nearer* For the love of God! Revie-!

SIGNAL LOST