"We need a distraction" Gwen said looking back at the guards.

Jack grinned "leave that to me" he then ran off in the other direction.

Everyone exchanged worried glances. "I suddenly felt a shiver down my spine telling me this is going to end badly" Ianto said.

"This is Jack...of course something bad will happen" Owen said.

"I think you should have more faith in Jack, he does a brilliant job in saving the world" Tosh said glaring at them.

Suddenly a naked blur streaked past them and Jack whooped. They all stared at his backside horrified.

"My eyes!" Owen shrieked. "They burn! The horror, the horror!"

"Oh..." Tosh whispered blushing.

"Wow" Gwen said licking her lips.

Ianto kept a blank mask on as he looked at a fixed point at thin air. Roughly in the direction where Jack was running.

"I thought the aim was to distract the enemy. Not us" he said deadpan.

A few gunshots and Jack shrieking woke them up from their disturbed lust infected mind. They ran after him wondering what the hell happened now.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Jack sniffled as Ianto held his hand and Owen was trying to bandage Jack up. Both Tosh and Gwen were holding onto each other as they giggled insanely.

"I would advice you not have sex for three months at least" Owen said.

Jack wailed and clung to an exasperated Ianto. "No! This isn't fair! Why did they have to shoot my boys?"

"Maybe they were jealous at how big they were" Gwen said kindly.

"Or maybe they were horrified at the sight of them" Owen muttered darkly. Tosh smacked Owen at the back of his head. "Ow! What was that for?" Owen whined rubbing his head.

"Where were you lot?" Jack said scowling. "You were supposed to use my distraction to go in"

"Ah..."

"Well you see..."

"Err..."

"We were distracted" Ianto said blushing.