A/N: Please do not read this if you love the Twilight Saga, because my OC Utau-chan hates it with all her mind, body and soul and she will definitely curse it for all eternity and I don't want you guys to get all offended, okay? And this fanfic does not necessarily reflect my views or opinions of anything, so don't cuss at me for anything because all of this is merely for the purpose of having a plot to the story. Also this is a kind of test-drive to see if there's any ounce of creative writing left in my information-overloaded brain. XD I haven't written a decent fanfic for a long time so please bear with me. Rated M just to be safe, it IS slightly smutty.

Ysah: *teary-eyed* After years of failed writing attempts…I finally finished it! I finished a one-shot fanfic! *happydancing* XD

Hibari: *reads it* That is not how I act, stupid herbivore. *pulls out tonfas* I'll bite you to death.

Ysah: Aww, c'mon, Hibari! You were only a WEE bit OOC. XD *whispers* Though I have to admit it was kinda OOC, sorry 'bout that folks. *bows to audience* And I haven't written a proper fanfic in AGES y'know, my muse is always MIA for some reason! D:

Hibari: Hmph, make sure you don't write something this pathetic about me next time. *lowers tonfas*

Ysah: *laughs* Don't worry! Do you want me to write another for you? I bet you want it smuttier; I didn't give you and Utau-chan lots of time getting all naughty. Huh? Huh? 8D *pokes Hibari with a stick*

Hibari: *murderous aura growing* I'll. Bite. You. To. Death.

Ysah: *gets tonfa'd* OOOWWW! DX… *faints then gets up again* But why are you blushing Hibari-kun? 8D

Hibari: *storms off* :///(

Ysah: Meh, we all know he wants it. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any other fictional character or real people mentioned here. I only own Utau-chan, she's mine people!

"This is crap," Utau cursed at the book that she was reading at chucked it at the other side of the reception room, crossing her arms over her chest as a signal of annoyance, "Why did I ever let Haru and Kyoko talk me into reading that stupid book? What a rip-off." She settled herself more comfortably into the couch she was sitting on, fuming still.

Meanwhile her stoic, anti-social boyfriend, Hibari Kyoya, was finishing some reports on the desk, who reacted sharply when he heard a sudden thud coming from the right side of the room. "You do know you shouldn't disturb me while I'm working, or else I'm going to bite you to death," he growled at her, before turning back on the stack of documents. Utau muttered an apology before falling silent, but still throwing ominous glares at the thick novel still lying near the wall.

A few minutes later, Utau was surprised to see Hibari get off his chair and went to pick up the book she threw. After many deliberations in his head, he decided to get the truth; he was curious to see what kind of book would upset Utau that much, a girl who was always cool under pressure and didn't lose her temper over such trivial things. Plus, he was bored and tired, and it was the perfect distraction. Hibari picked it up and turned it in his hands to read the title. "Twilight," he murmured, staring at the cover art which featured a pair of hands holding a perfectly red apple. He tossed it back to Utau, who caught it with a slight frown. One of his eyebrow's shot up questioningly, "What's this about?"

Utau laughed bitterly before starting her story, something about Haru and Kyoko giving her the book and telling her it was guaranteed to make her fall in love with it. "I heard it was a vampire novel so I thought I'd give it a shot," she pouted while playing with the books pages, "All I got was some overly-cheesy lines, a heroine who is a masochist and sex addict, and gay vampires that sparkle." She put the book gently on the coffee table before leaning back again and sighing, "I will always regret reading that, it's absolutely stupid. I mean how the heck it became an international bestseller?"

"Then what are vampire novels supposed to be?" Hibari asked with a smirk, a plan already formulating in his head. It was not simple distraction anymore, "I gather that you're an expert in this?" Utau shot him a glare, "Of course, vampires are my favorite novel genre. And this monstrosity just ruined the dark and sexy image of vampires. Now they're fags who put on body glitter. OH JOY." Her magenta eyes rolled upwards, tone dripping with sarcasm. She didn't realize that he was already sitting next to her, and was inching closer and closer.

"Then tell me how they're supposed to be, Utau-chan." He whispered huskily in her ear, the rich baritone sending shivers down the spine.

Utau nearly jumped up from her seat; she can feel Hibari's breath on her ear and neck, and his body heat radiating on her due to their closeness. She struggled to form coherent sentences and keep herself under control, in which she was failing. The color was already rising in her cheeks, her heart rate speeding up, and her breathing becoming irregular. Her boyfriend has such an effect on her, looking intently with those cold, grey orbs that pierced through her very being.

"W-well, vampire novels are supposed to be full of blood, violence, meaningful plot and…" Utau swallowed and forced out the last word, "Sex."

"Oh? Tell me more," Hibari drawled lazily, his arm already over her shoulder and playing with a lock of her wavy blond hair.

"They center mostly on dark plotlines with serious twists in the story, not some over-rated teen love story," Utau continued frantically, her arms making weird gestures in the air, "It doesn't have to always center on romance, though it is unavoidable since, who wouldn't like to have a lover like a vampire?"

At those words Hibari leaned in even closer and placed a soft kiss on her throat while muttering, "Is that so? Then describe your ideal vampire to me, I'm under the impression you weren't very happy with the ones in 'Twilight'."

Blood rose from the nape of Utau's neck up to her already scarlet cheeks, he certainly knows her weak points enough to make her go crazy inside her head, not sure on how to react to the situation. She cleared her throat, trying to maintain her "cool and spicy" attitude, but naughty thoughts are already filling up her mind. Damn, if he kept this up, they would certainly end up doing something indecent.

"Edward Cullen is an emo-gay-retard who can think of the cheesiest lines to make a girl fall for him, not to mention his apparent refusal to have sex with his girlfriend even though it's very obvious that he wants to get in her pants is just stupid," she said with a hint of resentment in her voice, "Not to mention that he sparkles every time he's exposed to sunlight, what could be more gay than that?"

"Vampires are supposed to be dark and mysterious and sexy! They can make you fall for them without effort, simply because they're vampires! And they don't abstain from blood, they need it, it's that aspect of them that makes them so appealing! I should know, I read Anne Rice's novels, and the vampire's bite is what I think the sexiest thing they could possibly do. In 'Twilight' they make the bites seem utterly painful, when in contrary the pain can be comparable to pure bliss. And anyway, they're just purely dominating and possessive and maybe quite sadistic sometimes, but that is kind of the point because they are creatures of the night-."

Utau was only caught by surprise as Hibari pushed her down on the couch, his hands on either side of her head and his legs settled comfortably between her thighs. She saw him smile seductively before crushing his lips against hers, moving expertly over her mouth. He tried slipping his tongue into her but her lips remained sealed in protest. Hibari resorted to biting roughly on the lower lip, making it bleed. Utau gasped at the sudden pain, and he took the opportunity to force his tongue in her mouth. He took a slow deliberate lick at the roof of her mouth, earning a sensual moan from her. The taste of her mouth mixed with blood was intoxicating for Hibari, he wasted no time exploring every inch of that sweet mouth, his tongue taking good licks and occasionally rubbing against her tongue.

Not wanting to be dominated, Utau let her hands snake up Hibari's neck to pull them closer together, running through jet-black locks of his hair. Her tongue started a war with his, trying to dominate one another. It was a battle she still can't win, so she let him kiss her more deeply and passionately, sounds of bliss coming from both of them. Their hands also got busy, groping at each other's bodies and stroking sensitive spots. Utau got Hibari's shirt untuck and pushed her hands underneath it, feeling the lightly-defined muscles and smooth, white skin. Growling, he rocked his hips against hers, causing delicious friction that got them both moaning in pleasure

They would've stayed like that for a LONG time if only oxygen wasn't necessary for our survival. They wrenched themselves away from each other, taking in big gulps of fresh air. Still smirking, Hibari leaned in down again to lick off more blood from Utau's bottom lip, staring right into her eyes with his steel-grey ones bearing a lustful expression. She can't help but feel aroused at his ministrations, whimpering softly. After one last lick, he murmured with his lips still on hers:

"Looks like you get your vampire after all."

Extended Ending:

Utau leaned into Hibari's already-sleeping form, the natural curves of their bodies melding together. His toned arms were secured firmly around her as he held the lithe, petite body against his bare toned chest, their legs tangled up within the sheets that covered their otherwise-naked bodies.

It turns out their little make-out session continued and both of them ended up in Utau's house and eventually her bedroom; Hibari was up for a bit of roleplaying with him as the "vampire". It definitely involved more biting; Utau's neck has seen worse, bearing lots of dark bite marks and hickeys.

As she drifted off to sleep, she had one last thought:

"I'd definitely pick Hibari over Edward any other day…"

A/N: Reviews are very much appreciated, but no flames please! :D