Got tired of reading a bunch of short fics of this couple so i started writing one... and writing... and writing... it took me three days with constant distractions. hope you like it and my playlist for this!

Zexion is older than me by two years. I didn't mind though. I still like him. I was currently in the theatre room listening to the chatting of the kids in class. I didn't join in and no one talked to me. I almost wished someone would but I had better things to do. My fingers were making motions of certain guitar notes and I was currently humming 'Right Now' by SR-71.

When I was eight years, four months, and eleven days I fell in love with Zexion. I remember seeing his beautiful hair that covered his left eye and translucent white skin. That night, I finished my first song. I soon found out that he is two years older than me. Since we went to a private school it held students from grades 1-12 and even had a collage on the side.

This was something that made me happier than anyone could imagine. The cold of the classroom was bearable since I knew this is the only class I ever pay attention in. I was banned early on from all music classes. The teachers gave me free tips on the side, but only if I would play them a few of my songs. I was in though. Long as I learn a new move, who cares if I have to give a concert?

Zexion is in all AP classes and even helps the teachers with their curriculum. I'm the one who's barely passing. I smiled softly and thought about him. He always goes to the school plays and likes to watch the theatre whenever he can at school. Never once does he smile or show any emotion but I can tell that he's happy because he shows up.

Zexion is the kind of guy that if he's not interested then no go. I frowned when the teacher told us to head out to the auditorium. She's been begging me to play a song for her since I started her class. I said okay so I could get extra credit in this class and have her put in a good word for me with the other teachers. In the auditorium, on stage, the entire class and Zexion will hear me play.

While they headed out through the curved hallway I slid into the band room to get my sitar. Jane lets me stash it there in exchange for a couple songs during her romantic dates with Tarzan who's practically an ape. She smiled at me and then turned back to her students that glared at the infamous Demyx. Her students hate me because I took her class for three days and didn't have to go again because I knew everything.

Brats have to learn, that's what school's for.

I hurried through one of the side doors that led backstage and headed out under the bright lights. Riku, the stagehand, helped me set up my speakers and plug in my sitar. I tuned it up a bit and stared out into the audience. Zexion was staring at me with a bored expression and crossed arms. I wound up grinned and winking at him.

The girls in my class laughed at me, I guess they thought I was winking at them. When Riku gave me the thumbs up I began to play. My sitar filled the room as I pressed my lips close to the mike. I started to sing a song I wrote a couple years back, one about living life without Zexion and wishing he was mine. Of course I didn't say genders so it didn't matter much.

The song was a soft rock sort of deal with a fast beat. It continued and went on about the stupid books and teachers that separate us. Of course this is true. He's always reading and teachers don't want me in a class I'll flunk so we can never be around each other. Then again I doubt he knows me.

"Loving you for no real reason…" I whispered into the mike and then gave everyone the peace sign. My class clapped nice and loud but I ignored them and looked at Zexion. He had a soft smile on his lips making me blush nice and deep on stage before I was pulled back into a hug from Cloud. He's my cousin but is waiting for me to become famous so he can mooch off of me.

I glanced back into the crowd to see that Zexion is gone. I sigh to myself then smile tiredly back at my cousin who was currently talking to someone on the phone. The teacher forced everyone on stage but me and then we had to begin our rehearsal. I jumped off the stage and sat down with my sitar on the seat beside me.

I'm the director's assistant so I pretty much get to kick back and correct people all period. I knew my social standing in class didn't go up just because I could sing and play sitar but whatever. I don't mind. Riku walked up to me and took my hand for a moment. I looked at him oddly but accepted the gesture. It was kind and it meant a lot to me. I know he likes me but I'll never return that love.

"He left as soon as Cloud hugged you." Riku whispered softly in my ear. I nodded not really wanting to know when. It hurt a lot more then I wanted to admit, since I love him and he just left. Of course, he doesn't know that so I shouldn't be upset. When it comes down to it I'd be better off dating a girl like Namine or Kairi.

Riku is going to realize Sora loves him eventually and hopefully Roxas stays with Axel so Namine will remain an option. I just… I need someone to be there. A girl won't hurt me as bad as Zexion will. Girls are easier to find then single and interested gay guys. I smiled and started to hum a little song to myself when someone sat beside me. I glanced over at Zexion in surprise as he stared up at the stage with a bored expression.

"No one complimented you on what you did up there." He murmured simply. I glanced over at him then nodded. I guess that's true but I don't mind.

"I don't mind. People never compliment me anyway." I laughed nervously. To my surprise he turned to me then and blinked for a moment.

"What's the point of performing if you don't know if people like it?" He asked. I stared at him and thought about it. I decided then that his question isn't accurate.

"Although people don't say they like my music, I know that they do." I informed Zexy knowing this is over his head a bit. I don't think he's ever done something to make someone else happy. He seems like he keeps too much to himself to do that.

"If they never say that they like your music, how do you know if they like it or not?" Zexion asked me. I just smiled softly and started to strum the strings.

"They smile and tell me to play again for them sometime. Their happy faces are how I know. Besides, you haven't told me if you like my music or not." I smirked wanting to know his answer. The boy just stared back at the stage and mused to himself. I sighed wanting him to get on with it and tell me. I knew though that he probably wouldn't.

"I like your music." Zexion said so softly I wasn't sure if I heard him right. Instantly he got up and left leaving me to wonder why he even bothered coming.

After school I hung out in the courtyard playing my sitar while waiting for Axel to pick me up in an hour. Sure Cloud wants my money I'll get when I'm famous, but it's not like he'll give me a lift to my place. Nope I have to wait for Axel who's currently in college. He doesn't go here so he doesn't have the luxury of going to this college. I blinked for a moment noticing someone across the courtyard. Instantly I stood up and stared.

Zexion was sitting to the side underneath an oak tree while reading. I smiled and walked over to him. When I sat down beside the quiet man his eyes widened as he glanced over at me. "To what do I owe the honor of having such a rambunctious guest?" He asked dryly causing me to smile. I have no clue what the word means but I like how nice he sounds right now. It's probably a compliment anyway.

"I just wanted to be next to someone. I'm always out here alone anyway." I said simply and made myself comfortable before beginning to play my sitar. Zexy continued to stare at me before finally sighing and continuing on with his reading. I began to play a song by Motion City Soundtrack called 'It Had To Be You' since it's one of my favorites. I could feel the man tighten up beside me and freeze. It took me a moment to realize this might not be his taste in music.

I stopped singing the lyrics and tried to think of a new song. I quickly decided that emo rock seems to fit him better. 'I almost Told You That I love You' by Papa Roach seems like a good enough choice to me. When I got to the chorus Zexion slammed his book shut and stood up getting ready to leave. "You have to go already?" I whined and pouted at him. Zexy glared at me and then stalked off.

I sighed quickly realizing that I must have made a mistake. Maybe he likes the girly stuff. Tomorrow I'll try Britney Spears. I can't really imagine him laying on his bed listening to it but who knows? I never imagined him sitting next to me or talking to me too. I grinned nice and wide when I noticed Axel's car pulling up an hour later. He rolled down the window and glared at me. "I have to turn the car around now since your stupid ass isn't on the right side of the road like normal." He growled angrily. I shrugged and hurried along after he managed to get his car back to position.

"I got to talk to Zexion today, twice." I informed the red head. He smirked at me and bumped shoulders. I blushed at this but said nothing as I noticed a sleeping Roxas in the back. A blanket was over him but it was obvious he was naked.

"Good for you, how long have you been pining after the guy anyway?" He asked making me blush harder.

"Eight years, 3 months, fifteen days, and nine hours." I replied softly. Axel blinked a couple times before cursing under his breath. I guess it is a little odd but I keep track of stuff like that. In less than one month it'll be exactly half my life that I've pined for him. I guess that's just me though. Some people celebrate birthdays but I celebrate the first time I fell in love with someone to how long it's been.

"You are an idiot." Roxas informed me from the back. I looked at him and saw him staring at the ceiling of the car with a blank expression. I knew instantly that he pitied me. He does this when he feels sorry for someone or something. Roxas and Axel started liking each other at the same time so they didn't have to go through any drama. It was nice and simple for them. For me though... it was different.

I've always liked him so much. I began to play the song 'It Had To Be You' once again. Axel and Roxas were silent listening to my music and voice both had soft smiles on their faces making me feel warm inside. This is what Zexion doesn't get. I'm doing this and singing so much while keeping in good health just to make people continue to smile at me. That's why I bother. I don't think anyone but me ever smiles at him. I hope that's not true.

My song instantly switched to 'Make You Smile' by +44. I just want Zexion to be happy. Making him smile is my newest desire and my only desire I guess. Wonder if I can pull it off. Probably if I work hard enough to find a song he likes. I blushed and grinned to myself. I can't wait to try it out. Maybe I'll sing the song 'If You Were Gay' but I'm not sure. Would he like that kind of music?

When I got my to my apartment I noticed Zexion just getting home too. He walked into the apartment beside mine and ignored me completely. I sighed feeling dejected. Before I could open my apartment door Zexion walked over to me with narrowed eyes and crossed arms.

"Thank you for the music earlier." He informed me with a dark expression. I blinked in surprise as he turned around and left me all alone again. I waited outside my apartment for ten minutes before finally composing myself enough to walk in. I shut the door behind me then crashed on my old torn up couch. I never lock my door because people are always crashing here. Larxene or Marluxia are probably going to be here tonight.

I curled into a ball then began to fall asleep. I woke up a while later to the sound of my door opening. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes wanting to see who was there. "Shit... why is he on the couch?" A voice demanded angrily. I forced myself to stand and walk over to the door but once I got there no one could be found. I yawned and slammed the door before crashing on my couch once more.

I didn't hear the pounding of the heart that was waiting outside, hidden in the shadows.

Nor did I hear the door open a second time and close.

Only it never opened again that night.

The next day in theatre Zexion was sitting in my classroom reading a book. No one ever asked how he had suddenly joined our class but I didn't mind. In fact it made me happy. "I'm only here to help out with the acting levels of your peers. You have the sense not to go up there when you can't act." I blinked in surprise at this knowledge since I know for a fact that I've never acted in front of him.

Huh... wonder how he figured it out... maybe my personality. Damn... I hate my life. I have to act perfect and smart and pretty around him or he will never love me! Okay that was a bit dramatic but hey... I need him to love me. Eight years, three months, sixteen days, and seven hours is too long of a time to wait. I sat on the window sill and began to write music for my own songs. He took out a book and began to read while we waited for the teacher to take attendance before we go to the auditorium.

Suddenly he closed his book, got up, and walked over to me. "What do you do in this play?" He asked me with an almost curious tone. I stared at him for a moment then looked down and laughed nervously. I don't want to tell him the truth... it's pretty sad. I guess I need to though...

"When someone's absent I play their role. I also critique the people on stage and try to help them improve." I shrugged knowing he probably thinks I'm an idiot. I'm in theater but instead of acting I'm just helping everyone else improve. Zexion gave me a musing look then nodded slowly.

"I think you may just have the best role in the production, other than the teacher. Keep up the good work and I'll do anything to help." Zexion informed me with a serious expression. I grinned at him and nodded before patting him on the back. The boy froze up then forced a tight smile on his lips. I gaped but the boy was already walking back to his seat. The teacher immediately led us to the auditorium.

The play went along smoothly. I rarely had to intervene on the matter of who's doing their part right and who missed their cue. To my surprise Zexy never once said a word throughout the whole thing. He had two notebooks he was constantly writing in throughout the entire thing. The red one was given to the teacher often and then she would make remarks about certain blocking that needs to be fixed. The black one was never shown to anyone. I guess it's his diary or something.

I looked at him for a moment longer then licked my lips. A diary? Sounds interesting... Wonder how I should steal it? Who knows it could be a whole bunch of confessions for me that I'd only ever dream of hearing him say. Who knows? For all I do know he could be my stalker... wishful thinking. I started to play the song 'Kick Some Ass' by... someone. I don't remember who.

When I began to sing Zexion turned to me with a raised eyebrow then rolled his eyes before going back to his work. I pouted then continued on with the song. The kids in class seemed entertained but I could tell the teacher was pissed. Of course she'd be. I mean, I did this knowing she'd be pissed off. But I just wanted to sing the line where it says 'Don't lay another finger on her. She's mine and I still want her. If you put your hands upon her then you're a goner.'

I changed the lines to say he instead of she. This caused a bunch of giggles but I was too focused on the song. I was shocked to say the least when the teacher grabbed my sitar and pointed for me to leave. I sighed while the class laughed at me. I looked at Zexy to see him shaking his head. Damn... wasn't noticed at all was I?

When I got out to the waiting area outside of the auditorium I decided to go over to the restroom. I like the bathrooms by here. They're bigger then at the theatres and have a huge washing area. I just hung out inside then washed my face off. I always pale up a bit whenever I'm stuck near him. I guess I need to get used to this.

I smirked to myself and then walked out of the bathroom. I'm going to talk to him. I have to. It's my job as a man to confront my fears and confess my love. Of course i'm not going to confess to him right now. Just hold a conversation. I take things incredibly slow anyhow so it doesn't matter. I need to do this! When I got back to the auditorium doors I tried to open them. Locked. Damn it.

I tried the other three doors but all were locked. After this I sighed and went into the band hallway. It's really the band, orchestra, choir, and theatre hallway but whatever. It's a long way to get to the backstage doors but I can handle it. I passed by a large window and noticed the dark clouds outside. I guess it'll be raining when I wait for Axel. I should have brought an umbrella or something.

I entered through the backstage and scratched the back of my head nervously when the actors and tech group looked at me oddly. I smiled at them all and quickly walked through the side door and down the back steps so I was back at the audiences place. I sat down beside Zexion and tried to avoid the teacher's glare. It was obvious she thought I should have been gone longer. I wouldn't be surprised if she had someone lock all those doors...

"How are your notes going?" I asked Zexy as I swallowed as quietly as possible. Bile kept rising up my throat making it hard for me to look at him while I constantly cleared my mouth out. I was nervous as shit. It's no big deal. He glanced over at me and then looked back down at his book.

"I'm doing okay. I'd rather be reading but this is entertaining as well." He informed me with a slight hint of emotion. It was almost as though he was hesitating in his speech. I smiled at this. He must not talk much. I accepted his answer then tried to think of something else to say. When nothing came to mind I just enjoyed the quiet between us. It's okay as long as we're here together. I'm not being a coward.

Zexion's fingers traced the black notebook as he continued to take notes in the red one. I decided this would be a suitable topic of conversation. Yes I know I sounded smart and thank you for noticing. "What's the black book for?" I asked him curiously as I stared at it attempting to let my mind powers open it and spill all of its contents into my brain. It didn't work. The powers of my mind must be on the glitch today.

"A notebook is meant to be written in. I didn't know you had problems with common knowledge." Zexion informed me dryly. I glared at him and tried to make a grab for the notebook. He blocked and shoved me away from him before holding the book to his chest. I just sighed.

"Will you please tell me what you keep writing? It's driving me crazy!" I pleaded hoping the man would allow me to read it just to sate my curiosity. It could very well be a book of math problems but who cares! I just want to know! And I want to know now!

"What about it is driving you crazy?" Zexion asked not looking at me but at the book. I swear he's about to start chanting 'my precious' over and over again so I can get the point. I would but then I'd have to glomp him because of how cute the lord of the rings reference is.

"The fact that I don't know!" I shouted making the class stare. We both ignored them and focused more on my pressing problem of curiosity. Zexion stared at me for a moment longer then smirked. Crap.

"There are several things in this world that you do not know. For instance, you don't know that the teacher has been writing your office referal since you entered the auditorium today. Does that make you curious? What about the fact that Namine keeps whispering about you up on stage while she waits for her cue? What about this book is so interesting compared to these tid bits of information?" He continued making me wait for a moment hoping he didn't fry my brain by accident.

I hate logic. I really do. I can't just come out and say 'hey bro i love you' for two reasons. One: he's not my bro. Two: he's probably straight or at least hates my guts. I sighed and sat down once again letting the class cool down a bit before gossiping once more. Zexion had this stupid triumphant smirk on his face causing me to glare harder.

Stupid brat making me fall in love and then confuse me with fucked up logic... when I get pissy I cuss... so I want to... I don't even know what I want anymore! Damn him! Logic drives my brain insane! It makes me act crazy and just lose it! This is exactly why I hate school! I stood up and walked over to where the teacher had locked away my sitar.

Grabbing the instraument I began to play the song 'Shut Me Up' by Mindless Self Indulgence. It calmed me down but had the class staring again. I think the teacher is about to give up on me. I wouldn't mind so much. I mean I already have to play a song before the show starts and when it ends. I'm always stuck doing shit like this for them.

"Do you play music when you lose? Or whenever you feel upset?" Zexion asked cockily. I scowled but continued playing. I don't care right now. I'm mad at him but I shouldn't be. I mean, it's not like he knows about my feelings or realizes the effect he's having on me. I ignored the boy and continued playing my music. I couldn't even bring myself to notice the smiles or the happy faces of the kids in class. I couldn't bring myself to accept the unsaid compliments.

I was too busy sulking. I guess I deserve this though. He doesn't realize what I'm feeling or going through inside my head. Even I don't know all that much. All I know is what I'm doing now... which is playing music and trying to forget. I have to forget... everything. Just let myself live in the music and the song. If I don't then what am I going to do? I'll have to notice him... notice him not noticing me. That's exactly what I don't want. Instantly I got a text making me stop my music and look down at my phone.

Hey Loser, Can't drive you home today. Get a ride somewhere else.

I hate Axel sometimes. He makes sure to use full sentences and writes every word just so that it'll hurt more. Damn it. He was pretty much saying 'oh hey since it's raining and you know I hate water getting in my car... why don't you walk home? You like water right? Good luck!' Damn I hate him so much sometimes.

I smiled though at the idea of walking home in the rain. I always loved water. If I could choose my death then I'd say drowning. It's peaceful. I've almost drowned several times in my life. When you realize that you can't get up for air (most of the time because of stupid friends on flotation devices) and are just floating in the water... it's interesting. The sun hits you and the water engulfs your body whole. Just floating in the blue abyss can give you a sense of... home. It just feels right.

Even as the water pours into your lungs you barely struggle. It's useless anyway. The water will win so you just need to enjoy the feel. There are so many things to notice and then right before you think 'it's finally over' someone pulls you out. That's happened to me three times and I want it to happen again and again. To me... it's fun.

"What are you thinking about?" Zexion asked softly from beside me. I looked over at his blank face then smiled softly before putting up my phone.

"I'm thinking about drowning." I replied and then stood up knowing the teacher was about to have us put everything up and leave. I didn't see him write furiously in his notebook once again before we were forced out. I was too busy thinking about death.

I always thought it was stupid for a kid to come to school one day with a gun. I mean... the first time I saw Zexion I thought he was going to be that kid. But I loved him. My second thought after that one was how much I wanted to save him from his fate. Honestly I think he'd slap me if I told him this straight to his face. I mean, him coming to school with a gun and shooting people? Yea that's kind of pathetic.

I shouldn't think that way about the one I love! I should be nice and considerate! Then again, when am I ever any of those things? Ugh I guess I phail. I'm not good enough to fail so phail will have to do. I was outside waiting for Axel for the past twenty minutes. Then I realized... he's not coming. Damn it.

I started to walk when I noticed a car pull up beside me. A perfectly shiny black mercedes with dark tinted windows. A rapist probably. I continued walking enjoying the feel of rain trailing down my skin. I almost played my sitar but I knew I need to get home. The car continued to drive slowly beside me. Finally it honked making me jump then stop and stare at the car. The window rolled down revealing a very pissed off looking Zexion.

"Oh hey there Zexy." I grinned. His eyes widened slightly before he glared at me. Shit... did I just use my nickname for him? Aw damn. Okay I should play it cool and hopefully he'll let me hitch a ride.

"Why are you walking in this disgusting weather?" He demanded. I blinked in surprise then smiled at him before twirling around in circles.

"It's not gross at all! Rain makes everything better!" I cheered pumping my fist in the air. Zexion rolled his eyes and opened his passenger seat. He then sighed and turned to me.

"I understand that it helps plants and animals survive now get in the car and let me drive us home before I let it kill you and create fertilizer." He growled.

The car ride was silent. I expected as much. Of course it'd be weird if he suddenly started talking. I'm pretty sure that if he did talk for any period of time... I would never understand a word he says. That'd be small talk though. The questions and answers thing sure. He concentrated on driving but I did notice him glance over a few times. Probably because I was staring at him so intently.

"Why do you hang out after school if you have a car?" I asked him curiously. Zexion blinked and stared at me oddly before sighing. I watched him park the car and unlock the doors before turning to me.

"I don't like traffic." He explained and then got out. I blinked hard then quickly hurried after him. This was becoming interesting. Not many people like traffic and now I know that he's not one of the few that do! A new thing is learned! We were walking up the steps to the apartment when I continued to talk to him about it.

"When I wait out there even when there's no traffic you still stay outside. Why?" I asked causing him to stare at me for a moment then scowl and lock his car up.

"Can we please drop the subject now?" He asked before unlocking his door and heading inside. I stared at his open door not sure if he wanted me to follow or not. Instantly it slammed in my face. I guess not. I sighed and just walked into my own house to see Axel and Roxas curled up on the couch asleep.

They were wearing clothes making me assume I could still sleep on my couch and not have to smell sex. I walked into my bedroom and crashed on my beat up mattress. I think it's time to go to bed.

When I got up the next day I decided to burn my couch. I mean, there are some boundaries friends should have. Having sex on my couch is not okay. I walked past them sprawled out on my couch exposing their parts for all the world to see. I was increasingly disturbed. When I opened my door to leave Zexion was in front of the door his hand up in a fist as though he was about to knock. He looked past me at the naked couple and then began to turn around.

"Hey wait up!" I called and hurried through the door. I slammed it shut and barely heard Roxas and Axel shouting cuss words at me. Instead I hurried after Zexion who was quickly hurrying down the steps. "What's your deal?" I asked lightly but he just spun around and glared.

"I thought you were a virgin." He said darkly before continuing down the steps. I stood there in complete shock before again rushing after him. What the hell does that mean?

"Are you talking about Axel and Roxas?" I asked him hurrying faster.

"And you... a threesome is stupid and holds no love yet you..." Zexion then glared at the ground before getting into his car.

"You do realize they're my best friends and couple who tend to crash at my place. I don't think about them that way." I informed him blankly trying to figure out why he was so upset about it. I guess it is awkward thinking someone is having a threesome next door to you.

Zexy blinked up at me and then gaped. "You're not kidding right? You really weren't in a threesome?" He asked slowly. I nodded and watched him sigh in relief. I smiled then watched him drive away before realizing my ride to school is currently passed out upstairs at my apartment. Damn. I started to walk to school knowing full well that life sucks.

During theatre Zexion and I ignored each other. This morning was a bit awkward so all I did throughout the period was practice my music while he worked on his notes in both books. He barely wrote anything in the black one today. I smiled at him a couple times and then continued on being the teacher's personal pest. Luckily she didn't take my sitar away much so I was still good.

The guy meant to play Hercules was absent today so I had to take his place. I only had to go up there when we were halfway done with the period. I did my lines the best I could and blushed crimson when I had to carry Kairi onstage. Everyone in the class laughed at me when I blushed harder when Sora hugged me.

I'm not used to man hugs even though I'm gay. Zexion is my first crush. I've never even held another person's hand let alone do anything like I have today. I could see Zexion watching us intently. It was interesting but I couldn't stop panicking about my role for the day. When the play was done she had us all pack up.

"You did good." Zexion informed me before walking off to wherever he goes after this class. I smiled after him and waved knowing full well that he couldn't see me. Instantly Cloud and Riku cornered me. I knew this wasn't good. They never care about anything I do so when they suddenly make it a point of stopping me from leaving with our class... I was scared.

"Are you in love with him?" Cloud asked making me look at him in shock. Riku shoved Cloud back a bit before glaring and telling him that that much was obvious. Apparently they were getting at something. I just don't know what. Trying to get past the boys didn't work so I just waited for the two to tell me exactly what's going on.

"Since when have you two talked?" Riku asked making me blush before taking a step back. I was beginning to panic here... Cloud can hold this over my head till he dies and Riku... I don't know what he can do but whatever. It's still scary.

"For a few days now." I informed them defeatedly. Both boys smirked triumphantly before I dashed past them making my escape. "Running away!" I shouted and ran right into someone who was attempting to read and walk at the same time. It worked for him until I crashed into the boy. It was Zexion naturally.

"Why do you insist on shouting what you are doing to the whole world? More importantly, can you please get the fuck off?" Zexion asked darkly. I blinked hard never hearing him cuss before. I sighed and stood knowing today has not been a good day so far. I tried to help him up but Zexy shrugged me off of him obviously not wanting anything to do with me.

"I'm so sorry!" I cried desperately. He nodded with narrowed eyes and brushed himself off. I picked up his black notebook and handed it to him. He frowned at me before hurrying off with his stuff. I pouted bitterly not wanting him to be as mad as he is. I don't want him to hate me! I've been trying so hard for so long that way he won't! It can't have all ended just because of this!

I called Axel and told him not to bother picking me up. I need to be alone for a while. "Are you okay? You don't sound so good." Axel informed me softly from the other line. I sighed once more and shook my head feeling extremely stressed.

"I'm fine... just try to remember to burn the couch before you leave. I know you'll enjoy that." I muttered and hung up not wanting to talk. I guess I'm like a girl. My emotions change like crazy. All I want is for Zexion to notice me and care but at this point I think he's more pissed off about my existence then the love I've been praying for.

"Demyx you coming?" Namine asked from down the hall. I nodded and hurried forward thinking of the song 'Shiver' by Coldplay. The song helped me get through the rest of the class where Zexion was long gone from. I guess I feel... done.

After school I began to walk home. The black Mercedes I knew was his left a lot earlier then normal. It sped past me letting me know he's still upset. I sighed and continued walking feeling the soft rain land on my skin. My sitar was in its case safe from the water but my body wasn't so lucky. I allowed myself to be soaked to the bone feeling the world slowly slip around me. I don't know why I'm not feeling so happy right now. Running into Zexion wasn't that big of a deal.

I still have several more years of opportunity when it comes to trying to win him over. I sighed. I guess when I ran into him earlier he accidentally walked off with my heart. If it wouldn't kill me to do so then I'd ask for it back. I know I can't do that though. I was almost home when a car pulled over. The black Mercedes was back. He opened his passenger door and waited for me to get in. I stared at the driver seat for a moment then continued walking. I don't want to face him right now. It's killing me too much.

The door opened and he bounded out toward me angrily. "Just get in the car, Demyx." Zexion growled angrily. I looked back at him not wanting to face him when I'm in such a depressing mood. He was glaring at me as though I had just killed his cat. I forced myself to focus before rejecting him.

"I can't do that." I informed him softly and kept moving this time faster.

"Why the hell not?" Zexy shouted after me. I stopped once more and turned around yet again. He looked sad now. Angry but sad. He was continuing to confuse me. I walked over to him and stood just a foot away. That's when his face flushed and he took a step back looking like a nerd being bullied out of lunch money. I wrapped an arm around his waist then kissed him. He gaped in shock but I didn't slide my tongue in. Instead I shoved him back into his car and smirked when Axel pulled over looking pissed off and confused.

I jumped in and ordered him to drive. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Zexion pale leaning against his car before sliding to the ground while burying his head in his arms. I probably just ruined every chance I could have ever had with him. That was all because of a break down. I'm losing it! Just two days until I've spent half of my life pining over him! I pulled my knees up to my chest and hid my face against my thighs while my arms held my legs in place.

"You finally did it..." Axel murmured softly. I didn't move at all but just continued drowning myself in the void of silence around us. "You are an idiot. Because of that one little slip you might just lose him." He informed me in such a muted voice I almost didn't catch it.

"I know..."

I didn't go to school. My door's been locked since I got home and I haven't opened it for the seventeen knockers. I couldn't bring myself to. Even when I heard Axel cursing in the hallway. During the school day I didn't touch my sitar once. I just sat on the couch I wanted Axel to burn and waited. For hours I just sat there waiting. I don't know what I expected to happen. Maybe nothing. All I know is that it's all over. I've ruined it. How many more years of pining after him will I go through? He shouldn't have come back for me! I started to sneeze and shiver but I refused to move. I was still wearing the clothes I had walked home in yesterday.

Rocks were thrown at my window. I ignored it for a while until the rocks were becoming large enough to break it. I walked over to the window and looked down. Larxene, Marluxia, Axel, and Roxas were waving at me motioning for me to come down. I shook my head and pulled blinds over the window. Thirty minutes later my door was broken down by the police. One man with incredibly long red hair pinned me to the wall while the light brown man with shades searched my house. All of my friends came in from the busted door and smirked at me.

"You kids must have heard wrong. There are no drugs here." The black guy informed them.

"Damn." The red head holding me sighed. He caressed my pants covered crotch once before finally letting me go. "Guess we need to get back to the station." He smirked and winked at me before running off.

"That was... wrong." I whispered unable to really get angry at them. Roxas hugged me tight while Marluxia made some tea and Larxene played with my sitar. Axel just sat on my couch waiting for something. "Leave... please." I begged but no one made a move toward the door. Instead Marly gave me my green tea and Larxene began to play the song 'I Feel So' by Box Car Racer. Roxas sung the lyrics while Axel swayed me back and forth knowing this song tends to take me away every time I listen to it.

"Get your head back in the music and forget about what happened for as long as you can." He whispered in my ear then kissed my temple before ordering Chinese food. I sighed and drummed the beat of the song on my knee. When the food came Larxene got on my laptop and had me log in before turning on my Zexion playlist. I blushed crimson when 'Iris' by Goo Goo Dolls started to play. I hid my face in my hand and held my knees back up to my chest once more. Everyone began to hug me but honestly I just want them to go away. I probably just ruined the best thing of my life.

I've loved Zexion for eight years, four months, eleven days, and three hours. This is the age I was exactly when I fell in love with him. To my surprise. At this exact moment he was waiting outside the school staring at me.

I decided to go back to school after my friends had gotten together and were nice to me for once. It seemed like everything could be okay if I had friends like that to force me out of bed. Axel was up bright and early to take me to school. It was an okay day. I've been looking forward to it since I fell in love with him for the first time. I knew it would come and that I would still love him. Zexion's eyes narrowed at me as he stalked forward. I expected him to slap me or punch me. He was supposed to shout about how I had touched him yesterday.

Instead... "Why weren't you here yesterday? Another actor was absent and so they needed you to fill in his role! I had to fill it because you were too busy being a dumbass then to come to school!" He shouted. I blinked in surprise then almost screamed when he kissed me."I've been in love with you for eight years, four months, eleven days, and four hours."

I stared at him in shock. "You've been in love with me for one hour longer than I've liked you..?" I asked in confusion. He glared and smacked me upside the head.

"Don't you remember? You were passed out that day in front of the school for almost a full hour." He explained grudgingly. I smirked at him.

"Okay so I had it way wrong." The bell rang then and I decided something. I really need to get a new couch and burn the one I have. Zexion and I will need something fresh to play on... and frankly it'd be disturbing if I think about what Roxas and Axel were doing while I'm doing Zexion.

Zemyx

Finished!