So I'm experimenting with my writing. For those of you that have read my stuff before (Thank you~!) you will know that I am a romantic comedy writer. I'm just good at coming up with random, funny stuff I guess... But my good friend L read some of my stuff and asked if I'd ever thought about writing a more serious fic. I had considered it, but thought I would just crash and burn. HOWEVER! I will never improve my writing if I can only succeed in one genre, and so although I've kept the romance, this is a hurt/comfort fic. Please let me know what you think of it, I really am out of my comfort zone here...
Disclaimer: Only the story belongs to me, everything else belongs to Capcom.
Contains shounen-ai, but seriously there is NOTHING explicit. Also contains spoilers for Apollo Justice.

Summary: One-shot, possibly a two-shot. Phoenix's feelings after being disbarred. Hitting an all time low, he loses the will to hold on to his old self.

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Chapter One- Unworthy

"And so, for presenting illegal evidence in a court of law, Phoenix Wright is officially disbarred and is no longer allowed to practice law..."

It was at that precise moment, that Phoenix Wright felt his world shatter into a million pieces. Surely this wasn't justice: he hadn't known about the evidence...

However none of that mattered. Appealing to the best of his abilities was futile; he was out. He had failed. He had let himself down. He had let Maya down, Pearl down... He had even let Mia down. He was glad that his Fey assistants hadn't summoned her recently, he couldn't face the shame. It was a good thing that they were both back at Kurain, he never wanted to see anyone again. He wanted to hide in his apartment, cowering from the outside world until he would eventually waste away.

Phoenix often woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, remembering the time he lost it all. Tonight was one of those nights. Looking back over the past three years, Phoenix couldn't help a hot tear from sliding down his cheek.

It had been exactly one month since his disbarment, and he had changed drastically. The well loved blue suit that had become his trademark was shoved at the back of the wardrobe, crumpled up out of sight. The ex-defence attorney had originally planned to throw it away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was as if he was hoping, waiting for his punishment to be revoked, or he thought he was stuck in a nightmare. And so he held just the tiniest bit of optimism that he would once again be in the courts in his blue suit, hair spiked to perfection and doing what he loved. But as the days passed, and then the weeks, finally reaching the first month, Phoenix knew it was impossible.

Covering the now limp spikes (reflecting his personality perfectly) he now had a blue, knitted hat. The suit had been replaced by a baggy, grey jumper and scruffy jeans (old clothes found scrunched up in the current place of his suit). He had worn these clothes for... well he wasn't sure how many days straight. He hadn't had a shower in ages and the last time he ate properly eluded his mind. Yes, the great Phoenix Wright had been broken. His only comfort: Drink.

And so, wiping his brow and climbing clumsily out of his bed, Phoenix headed towards the kitchen in his apartment, aiming for the fridge that contained nothing but alcohol now.

Grabbing as many bottles and cans as he could, the dark haired man shuffled over to the sofa where he let himself collapse after placing the alcohol on the coffee table in front of it. He started on the beer, attempting to drown his sorrows but failing miserably. The drink made Wright's mind go all blurry, mixing all the m6emories of his 'glory days' up together. He never forgot, no matter how much he drank.

Despite going into the biggest depression ever, Phoenix knew that he should at least attempt to get his life back and find a new job. But he couldn't. It wasn't that he was lazy or anything, he physically couldn't do anything about the way things were now. The pain he felt was bad enough, he was sure that he would tear in two if he tried to motivate himself. He was barely hanging on, just falling... falling...

After a good hour of drinking, all the cans were drained. This is when, at 3 a.m, the bottles started to be emptied. They were cheap bottles of alcohol, and after clearing two of them at an impressive speed, Phoenix started on an inexpensive bottle of red wine. Drinking straight from the bottle, finding common things like glasses to be useless now, the raven haired man felt a wave of dizziness sweep over him (thanks to his excessive intake of alcohol) and spilt the majority of the red liquid all over him.

He made absolutely no move to clean the mess, instead sitting there, soaking wet, and letting the tears flow.

What a mess... Imagine what people would think if they saw me now. I am no longer worthy to be around other people. I'm a disgrace.

Phoenix peered at his stained jumper, making out the dark shade of magenta it had turned thanks to the dim light emanating from the kitchen. This shade reminded him of something... no, someone... Someone who this wretch of a man had tried to forget about, pretend that they didn't exist because they would probably die right there and then if they thought about the reaction he would receive.

Miles...

More tears streamed as he remembered their time together. The classroom trial, clashing in court, becoming closer...

Then there was their first kiss. It was shy, uncertain, and full of an emotion that was waiting to be awakened. It felt good, no... it felt great, wonderful, amazing. Miles slowly opened up to his childhood friend, trusting him with everything. As the relationship grew, so did the ex-defence attorney's confidence. After spending the night together, when Miles was sleeping soundly, snuggled up to the others chest, Phoenix made a vow to himself.

His lover's life had been full of hardships: losing his father so young, then being expected to be constantly perfect, finding out that his mentor was actually his father's murderer... Wrapping his arms more tightly around Miles, Phoenix made a silent promise to never let the silver haired one down. To always be there, grow as a defence attorney and be a man worthy to stand at the prosecutors side. He was that man, Miles loved him, and he loved Miles.

But this would surely change everything. Edgeworth was abroad again and Phoenix hadn't contacted him with the news of his disbarment.
As the drink finally got to him and Phoenix was slowly drifting in and out of consciousness, the last thought to cross his mind was:

Miles... I'm sorry. I guess I could never be someone worthy of your love.
You'll be disgusted when you see the wreck I've become. I don't blame you; I hate me too.
I'm... unworthy of your love...
Unworthy...

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...How was it? This seriously is completely new to me, but I don't think it turned out too bad. Reviews are welcome! Constructive criticism also cuz I'm fairly sure I need it! Leaving it where I did is dramatic I guess, but I feel really sad for Phoenix so let me know if I should add a final chapter where things could start to look up a bit. If not, then I'll keep it a one-shot.
Please review and give me your comments on a possible final chapter.
Thank you so much!

xx-animeXalchemist-xx