Disclaimer: I don't own everything, certainly not the tudors, showtime that would make me more like God and a millionaire producer.

I leave with this story, it may turn into a short piece, I may leave it at one shot, it all depends from your reviews.

Thanks to Dani [SSLE] for brainstorming, and to my best friend, in the past for TBP [Treason by Parentage Saga which started all the rave for tomkat] you knew her as PrincessAnne my co author for my last chapters for Part I and the first chapters of TBP Part II, now just Anna she has helped with the prologue so I thank her.

Also this story I will work with most of the showline's time of events however I will incorporate historical events in this as well, one of the changes that I will go along with showtime is POB age. He was born around 1504 and he was DOB in the show so he will be Duke of Bavaria here that will not change to avoid confusion, another thing is that his religious sympathies are never clear but for the purpose of thie story he will mainly be of Lutheran sympathies, and his age will be the same as Mary's so his birth date will be placed in this AU around 1514-1516.

"Love is not a sentiment is only an idea. Love is an ideal that destroys, that tears your soul and makes you feel hollow, I know because I am the woman whom you like to listen in her crazy rambles, the woman who has a lot of friends but not any boyfriend, the woman who ends up being alone with many cats and strange animals in her apartments. I am that woman"

~"Naturally alone" by Anonymous

Mary could not remember a day when her father had not promised her happiness. He was always there, it seemed when she was ther lowest point. He seemed trustworthy. Her mother always said to obey her father in all things, she was clear about that in her last letter to Mary.

How did she end up like this?

In this bed, with not her husband orher closest friends to be with her? There would occasionally be maids coming and going sent by her father, and [she thought bitterly] the Queen. A midwife would be with them, and her physician Dr. de la Sa. They would constantly check on her. They would ask questions, was she alright, how was confinement?

Confinement, I smirk at that word. How I hate the word confinement. It is the worst word there can be.

Confinement, I bark in laughter.

The midwife comes to the small room again. She asks me the same questions like Dr. de la Sa, am I eating all my food? Am I alright? I tell her the truth, the food is horrible and I want to get out of this room, I hate being in this room, it feels like an Eternity. But the midwife says I can't, that it is all for my own safety.

The next day I stay up all night, talking to myself, then to God confessing myself to him asking him when I can see the man I love again. I imagine God telling me that it will all be over after my son or daughter arrives, after I deliver his baby then can I be free from confinement.

Day Twenty three, I note in my journal. I had been keeping this journal for the time of my stay in this Residence.

I try to write but I keep feeling the weight of my guilt on my abdomen, and that guilt is kicking back at me constantly.

I gasp as I feel a sharp pain. The guards after they hear my cries call for the Physician who was luckily on his way to check me. They stop the pain hours later after I wake up. The first thing that comes to mind is whether I will be free, whether I will be able to nurse this child before he or she taken away from me like my first two sons, Henry and Phillip?

I can still remember the time when Phillip and Henry were born to me. Two beautiful boy, only separated by a year. The first one I could see Phillip and his grandfather, my father all over him. He had my father's cold stare, and his loud wail that woud not cease until he would be pampered and proper handled by his parents. I had wanted to hold him, to bring him love but after I saw those eyes I couldn't ... I really couldn't.

But Phillip had ignored her and came over to Mary "I have known you to be the greatest thing to ever happen to me" He'd said the day I gave England another heir, and Bavaria's future Duke. Phillip and my father were happy that I had borne the two nations a son. My husband had not taken into account my sad look when my son was torn away from me by his nurse and the midwives. I wanted to hold him, I intended to make him mine, to oversee his education but even that was restricted for a poor, sad woman like me.

I begin to write in the journal, the day your brother, my firstborn was torn from my arms like I am sure you will be too. His education was decided by no other than my husband and Cranmer. Nothing better than to have the man [that I thought] I loved convene with Cranmer about the future education of my son. Some people had called Phillip an opportunist, Eustace Chapuys, the Imperial Ambassador was one of them.

He had said to be weary of Phillip, but I had been rash, one single decision changed everything. I wonder whether if in another future I would have made a better decision and decided to wait instead of marrying Phillip so quickly? Would I have fared better? Would you have fared better? Or, would you and your second oldest brother, my second son Henry, would you two have existed? I don't know. I honestly don't. It is impossible to know what the future might have hold for us if we had made a different choice.

Month Three, Day 48th.

Only a little while longer and she would be gone from this besieged residence, this room where something malevolent hovered, tormenting her. Only a little while longer ... Phillip might not be the same dashing for her, but he could still be her salvation from the torment that her father and the Queen had put her in the walls of her own home.

"Thank you" Mary said, pulling her arm closer to her side.

Esther was the name of the midwife as she was helping her former Mistress deliver the babe said unto Mary "But I must tell you that much happiness lies within your own power. Tht man has little to do with it"

She was surprised that Esther dared to speak that way for her, she looked at Esther indignant, but she said nothing instead she cried in pain as she continued to push.

"Have it stop" She demanded crying harder as pain took her.

"Milady just one push!" She declared but Mary could not do it. Apple bosoms were what suddenly came to her mind, his voice was what started to guide as she kept on hearing too the voice of Esther.

"Push" She prompted and Mary pushed.

Wails of a newborn filled the room "It is a girl Your Grace" Your Grace, she still called her Your Grace, because no matter how much she had fallen from grace [the irony there] she was still Your Grace, she was still the Royal [though bastard] of Henry VIII, his eldest daughter, his jewel (she still wanted to think) and more important the co ruler of Phillip of Bavaria, Duchess of Bavaria.

She had thought the pain was over but it wasn't, another pain suddenly invaded her.

"Ahh!" She cried harder now.

Esther's yells and cries did not calm her, the maids flocked to her side closer now as they held each her arms as she sat up attempting to clutch her stomach. Let his pain free me, she thought.

"Yahwhe be praised, Your Grace I see the head crowning" Esther announced. Though she was a jew she became a trusted confidant to Mary. Mary had trusted her in the last days of her pregnancy with her second son Henry Wittelsbach. She better than Dr. de la Sa or Dr. Butts to know what ailed her.

Mary's health had never been the best. She had had often amenhorrea, depression, suffered fallbacks from stress, fevers, colds, the list just continued, of course Ambassador Marillac though these were just exagerations. One of her maids who was of French origin corroborated Marillac's suspicions to him, but she'd only said it to save her Mistress from suspicions that she could not have children.

Everyone though that Phillip's line would die with him when she'd wed him. Even her own sister much like her mother [especially now that Mary was in disgrace] thought that she would end as a washed up old lady.

"He must have gone down on his knees! and have begged to be excused ... to be forced to stick it up that old dried up virgin!"

"Elizabeth!" I exclaimed, I was genuinely shocked.

"What?" Her eyes were blazing with temper. For a moment I believed that she did not know what she was saying. "What's wrong with telling the truth?" He is a young handsome man who will inherit half of Europe , she is a woman old before her time and old enough anyway. It is disgusting to think of them rutting together like a young piglet on an old sow. It is an abomination. And if she is like her mother she will bear nothing but dead babies!"

I put my hands on my ears

~Hannah Green and "Lady" Elizabeth on Phillipa's Gregory's: "The Queen's Fool" p.239

Finally the time had come to bring the last push. Mary screamed the loudest, her cries ringing to the other rooms in the Tower Green.

There was second wail she never believed she could hear screams louder than hers or her daughter, but her second newborn, the girl's twin screamed the loudest.

"Yahweh!" Esther could not avoid it, her surprise was evident in her face as was Mary's anticipation as she asked "What is it?" She was tired but her excitement kept her from darkness taking her. After every birth she always grew tired, Elizabeth was right in their last argument, she was a washed up old woman by now. She was nearing thirty years old and yet she felt her body older as her spirit after all she had been through with him and Phillip.

"Tis is a Lady Your Grace. And beautiful she is!" Esther exclaimed bringing the daughter next to her "Milady" she said now crying harder as the child as she brought her closer to Mary. "Look at her, she is clearly a Tudor" Esther said impatiently as Mary refused to see her babe.

The first babe was still in the maid's arms next to her. Mary had partially seen her and she looked beautiful, but this babe she could not see because she was afraid that on the twin's face she would see the face of her shame reflected. She could not bear that.

But Esther kept shoving her in her face that at last pushing aside all the shame she felt, she held the child in her arms. Immediately the child's cries ceased and taking a better look into her child she realized that Esther was right. There was definetly Tudor in her. She was all Tudor and turning to the maid next to her, her name she tried to remember but she couldn't so she simple ordered her "Give her to me" The maid looked at Esther who nodded.

The maid gave her firstborn daughter to Mary, now she had both twins. Her firstborn daughter unlike her fraternal twin had no Tudor on her. In fact she had more of her father, her eyes were his, so were her strong cheeks and bones and unlike Mary both of them were healthy.

Mary might have chosen for the children to be whisked away as was to be their fate, but she chose to stay longer, as much as she could before Master Kingston and Edward Seymour came to take them away. She kissed her firstborn daughter's head and whispered to her, Esther being very close heard her former Mistress -"Mi bel accident"

"You shall be my Isabella, I will let you enter into my heart's state, and your happiness is in your grandfather's hands ..." she sniffed as she bitterly added "and my husband's"

"I think Your Grace should hurry, I can hear footsteps approaching" Esther said with a hurried tone. Mary ignored her as she kissed her firstborn daughter's brow, unlike Phillip and then Henry, she felt closer to these two than she had in the six years that she had borne Phillip and then Henry.

Coming to her second daughter she whispered "Please don't..." she sniffed harder "don't" -she couldn't finish the sentence, it would be inevitable, the cell door clicked and Mary knew that the time had come to take them. "Elizabeth, my Elizabeth" Despite all the last confrontations and fights she had with her sister Elizabeth, she still loved her and forgave her. She bore much resentment for her, but she was still her sister and no matter what she would have done in the future that was now not to be, to dethrone and take back what was first ours. That future Mary would not have to worry anymore, it would all be erased thanks to her two sins she had in her arms.

"Duchess" -Master Kingston declared as he came into the room. She expected to see him with the Earl of Hertford, the cunning Edward Seymour however he was nowhere to be seen. As if he had read her thoughts he said "His Excellency" He began not afraid that the Guards could hear them, and that was because he quickly explained, they were also bought off and sworn to secrecy by him. Now Mary could see all the age on Kingston, like His Excellency he was limping but unlike Chapuys he seemed weaker but his face bore the same strictness he was known for.

In all his life he had seen men and women come and go, some with death written all over their face, but only two times he had been in the presence of two strong souls who bore no fear for death, the first had been Mademoiselle Boleyn, a fine Lady, very fine woman and very fine person she bore no fear of death whatsoever she even seemed to wish for it when many in prison were begging not to. This Lady, her antithesis was more alike to her late stepmother than she realized. Her looks now almost seemed to mirror Anne Boleyn's. The only difference however, was the Duchess' hair color. In comparison to Anne's black hair, the Duchess of Bavaria had the famous Tudor red hair, yet it was darker than her sister –the fair Lady Elizabeth.

She faced a greater hardship, the sentence of death by her father, for her sins. Unlike Mademoiselle Boleyn which many [Reformers mostly] who thought there could be the slightest chance she could be innocent, with the Duchess there was no doubt on everyone's mind that she wasn't.

"I meant nothing evil when I was forced to bring you here Madame but pretending evil does not exist around us gives it power. I have only said this phrase to another woman. I beg you to not judge me, but trust me in the message I am to deliver to you" said Kingston as he clutched on his cane tighter and walked closer to the Duchess' bed. "By whatever means" he began as he was now next to her. He didn't worry about the midwife hearing her, His Excellency had informed him that there would be nothing to worry about Mistress Esther Goya. "I wish a different fate for you and healthy life to both your children -and to their father"

Mary pressed her lips together, their father she thought grimly. This was his doing then. Esther pressed her hand on shoulder. She could feel the weight of Esther's worries as Master Kingston's as he continued "There is a boat waiting outside just as we speak it is arriving, so I will say this quick. I have been instructed by Your Majesty to inform you that you are to deliver the child as soon as it is born, since there is two this changes everything"

"What do you mean? What deal has their father made?" Mary inquired.

Master Kingston smiled grimly, this Lady was on the verge of madness yet she still bore reason like her most hated enemy Anne Boleyn.

Never had England had to brave ladies, who were sadly fated to die under the King's sword.

"Your child was to die, the babe would be whisked into his care by his servant Fleming, however seeing how you bore two, it will be more difficult to save two girls"

Mary understood. If she had borne one babe, it would all be easy, she would say there was a miscarriage, and probably she could have pulled it off saying that she on the verge of madness had burned the babe's body. It was a far cry from reason, but Master Kingston and the others had watched her rave and come to sudden fits of madness when she would burst out laughing at nothing in particular after she would finish writing.

Two babies, only one could be saved, so Master Kingston was now forcing her to decide.

She was about to say she could not, but seeing Esther, feeling her grip around her shoulder, and then her maids and finally Kingston she realized she had no choice and very little time. She had to choose now.

The second born twin who bore more Tudor resemblance, or her older twin who bore more of Chapuys? It was clear what she had to do.

"Esther take Elizabeth" She said imperiously to Esther. The midwife nodded and took the youngest fraternal twin, the babe immediately began to cry again in her arms. It would only be for a little while, Esther thought -soon child you will be back with your mama's arms.

It was the best decision Mary could have made. Her oldest daughter had too much of her biological father, if she had left this baby in the arms of her grandfather or worse, her husband, God forbid she would punished for life, Phillip would never accept her and she would be the new Elizabeth of the English Court, people would mock at her, throw insults, not even her sister would be allowed to console her.

No, it was the best decision.

Outside Master Kingston clutching the babe whom the Tudor Bavarian Duchess called her Isabella after her grandmother, walked downstairs to where the boat had just arrived. There was Fleming and another man that Kingston knew all too well. "His Excellency" he greeted.

Chapuys took off his cloak. There were mists all around them, almost as if God had willed the heavens to deliver them from harm.

"Master Kingston I trust everything has been settled between the Duchess and yourself? I hear a miscarriage?" Said Chapuys with his cynic tone he was famous for.

Master Kingston shook his head vigorously. "I am afraid not Your Excellency, the Duchess bore twins" Chapuys raised his eye brows at this revelation, his mouth had hung open but quickly he composed himself and pressed his lips tightly together forming a thin line.

He looked at Fleming signaling him to take the child. Fleming did so and Kingston handed the child to her new wards.

Fleming handled the child with care almost as if she was his own. The boatman after the two passengers, now three with the babe, said their goodbyes to the Warden, he began to sail.

Mary felt weaker now. She had only Elizabeth with her, Isabella was now with their father where she belonged.

How had she ended up like this?

How?

"Of what the years mean to a man and a woman" Esther said, bringing the phrase Eustace had said to Mary when they kissed. "As you know, you told me this after you confessed the nature of your second pregnancy. All the women, Your Grace if I might speak freely?"

"Can I stop you from it?" Mary said giving Esther a grim smile.

Esther smirked, given the circumstances she should chastise herself for finding humor in this situation, but she [Mary] had a way of making all her maids laugh.

"My knowledge Your Grace"

"Your knowledge of what?"

"My knowledge yes" Emphasized Esther her grin plastered as Mary's who was always amused by Esther's phrases that carried boldness "is that what you told me His Excellency told you of what the years mean to a man and a woman are very true. My daughter also named Mary was a brave girl, you always asked me how she died. She thought that she could solve the world's problems so she ran away from home, joined the Pilgrimage of Grace"

Mary's eyes went wide. Why hadn't Esther told her? Now it all made sense why Esther had reacted rather violently when Phillip had mentioned the Pilgrimage with a mocking tone.

Esther continued "My mother said that I would be punished for not having my first communion the day she wanted, alas she was wrong, it was my daughter who got punished after His Majesty's will was to set an example of Aske's and his followers. She thought that she could change the world, very much like you she was brash, and was brave like you. When I see you I remember what it was to be a mother. Everyone at Court can say that you committed sin, but out of all of them, including his Excellency, you are the only one who didn't sell her soul to the devil"

Mary looked around cautiously, her maids were bound to silence and Esther and Kingston had threatened them as bought them off with Chapuys' money [how he'd gotten money was a miracle in itself when he had declared himself near bankrupt in England, he had told Mary the expenses were too much in England to keep the lifestyle he was used to] . They would not talk like Esther and the others involved in the cover up.

"I do not know what wisdom I have. I once said that I was young and inexperienced but that I was willing to learn. I have lived, I feel a very long time, an eternity since I came to love him that is all I have to say as my last statement. I have lived longer alone than ever I was married; even when I had my mother I was raised alone. I have been motherless, lost two stepmothers, one to death for child fever, and the other because my father chose to set aside for a Howard girl, the reason why I am here."

The maids in the room, including the midwife Esther tried not to look at her in pity, but everyone knew what awaited her, especially if the Earl of Hertford was yet to come.

"Come sit" Commanded Mary. Esther did not ignore her this time and came to sit next to Mary. "I have known you since you bore your first son Phillip, you were very happy back then"

"Yes I was" said Mary with a sour tone.

"But they took your child away and you became sad, forlorn in your looks, you became bitter, you asked what you could do to have him back, we all know the story Your Grace, and then when there was nothing to do but watch how the Duke, Cranmer, and your father took over his education, how Lady Elizabeth his aunt and his step grandmother came closer to him than his own mother, you became resented for your married life so you turned to someone who could understand you. You and Phillip seemed like a great couple" She patted Mary's arm. Mary tried not to wince; the welts and scratches of yesterday were very bad today too, and she prayed no one would notice them when she stepped into the courtyard where hundreds of spectators would await her death.

"Thank you" Said Mary pulling Esther's hand closer to her shoulder where she previously had it when she gave Isabella away.

In her arms was Elizabeth now asleep.

"But I must tell you" said Esther again "That much of what you thought your happiness lied with men, had nothing to do with it, true happiness lies within you."

Mary smirked, ever the wise apparent advisor that Esther she thought.

Hours later as she played with Elizabeth making faces that made the child giggle, Master Kingston came for a second time, this time with the Earl of Hertford. This visit was the one she had been dreading for the past nine months. This was the final straw, the moment of truth when she would be advised of her death.

"Your Grace" Edward Seymour began with his cold voice. He walked to where the King's eldest and most disgraced daughter was. "Give me the child." He said, no more announcements. That was all he had come for -the child.

Mary handed her and watched the Earl take her away, surprisingly Elizabeth was calm in his arms.

Before he walked out the door she cried loud enough for everyone to hear "Her name is Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" But the Earl said nothing, he merely walked away and Master Kingston was forced to close the door behind him, once more locking the brave Duchess with her maids.

I don't know if this will reach you, I want you to tell you that before I meet the hour of my death, that you are not a sin I regret. I have regretted many things in life but you are not one of them ...

Farewell my offspring, my daughter, take care and always remember who you are the daughter of Princess Mary Tudor, not Lady or Duchess but Princess and the descendant of Isabel and Fernando de Castilla and Aragon respectively.

~Lady Mary