Bevin Lemon from Hell.

I want to make this perfectly clear that I am NOT a Bevin fanatic. But that doesn't mean I'm going to shun a decent slash pairing. This is for Kawaii-kuro's 23rd birthday. It was a challenge for me because to me, she is a master of wit, so I wanted to make this silly enough to frost her cupcakes. I'll have to demand something next week for my birthday. XD

On with the show!

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The evening wouldn't have been as awful, had it not been for the mistake Ben made by splitting up his already scatter brained personality. It seemed to have simply strengthened his many qualities, no matter how awkwardly elegant each one was.

Despite all this, Ben had left Gwen with the wonderfully noisy arrogant him while they watched Julie play tennis. The leader of the operation had snuck off to enjoy himself a movie, and the sensitive reasonable Ben had gone off to enjoy Kevin's well refined company.

"Dude, if you don't knock it off with the door lock I'm gonna sock you." Kevin harshly shifted into third gear simply to make a point, even though he had an automatic.

"I'm sorry Kevin, you're right. I know how much it bothers you." Ben smiled at the taller teen, turning his body towards Kevin a little in his seat. "I seem to get so antsy when we're about to—"

"Kick some bad alien butt?" Kevin finished for him. He had a smug smile on his face but that faded while he glanced side ways at Ben. "Dude… what was all that?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"What was what Kevin?" Ben asked with a sincere smile.

"Uh huh…" Kevin slowed down a bit and pulled to the side of the road. "I swear that if your head starts spinning around or something, I'll skip straight to the kicking you out part.." He glared.

"Have I upset you in some way?" Ben asked as his sincere smile faded quickly.

"Why would you care?" Kevin didn't mean it as a jab at Ben or anything, he was sincerely asking why Ben would be concerned about such a thing. He was about to flee his beloved car before the shorter teen started speaking in tongues.

"Of course I care." Ben reassured him. "Kevin, I don't think we talk about our feelings enough." He began, scooting closer to Kevin.

"No, I'm serious, I think those feelings can stay where they are, just… Knock it off."

"Kevin, I think it's obvious that I've upset you, please tell me how I can make it up." The shorter teen laid his hand gently on Kevin's arm.

"I want you to stop bein' so creepy!" Kevin growled, he grabbed a hold of Ben's wrist to remove it, but the brunet gasped in pain.

"Ah, Kevin! You're hurting me."

"I'm not even… Really?" Kevin was astonished. He let go for a moment and watched as the brunet nursed his sore wrist. "So…" he reached out after a moment and took Ben's wrist again. "This hurts?"

Ben pulled at his wrist and donned a pained expression again. "No! Kevin what are you doing?"

"Woah! Sorry, I'm not doing anything!" He defended himself.

"Kevin! I really don't think this is the best place for this!" Ben whimpered to himself.

"For what?" the taller teen backed up a bit. "Are… Are you pregnant again?" Kevin asked, wondering if he should expect an abundance of flapping alien moths to burst out of the glove box.

"Is that what you want from me?" Ben looked mortified.

"No! Ben, knock it off, why are you bein' so weird!" Kevin made the mistake of grabbing Ben's shoulders to get his attention.

The shorter teen raised up in his seat and began to fall sideways. "Kevin please don't!"

"Don't what?" Kevin growled. He felt the other's hands on his shirt and the force of Ben falling over pulled him into the back seat with him. "Dude, what are you—"

"Kevin noooo! Not like this!"

"Not like what?"

"Don't touch me there!" Ben whaled, gasping up at the taller teen, his face a mess of flushed, lusty hues.

That struck a chord in Kevin. He stopped fighting Ben and looked him over, more to see what on earth he was talking about. He spotted the smaller teen's hand over his own, holding his hand in place just over Ben's pubic bone.

"I did NOT do that!" He sat up quickly, disregarding the low roof in his car. Kevin found that he couldn't pull his hand away.

"Kevin please…" Ben wined.

"Please what? Do you want this?"

"Noooo!" Ben gasped, but as he did his spine arched under Kevin, pushing his hips up into the touch.

Kevin was positive now that there was one part of his body that was in no way confused about the situation. He growled and wrenched his hand from Ben's, pushing the teen back down into the seat and lurking over him.

"Enough!" He growled, just before descending upon the brunet, a forceful hand pulling Ben's head to one side to offer up his neck. Kevin didn't care how loudly Ben protested, he was positive that he was enjoying it. He sucked and bit at one spot of the neck until he could feel it heat up with the blood drawing closer to the surface. Kevin stopped and then moved onto another patch of tanned skin.

"Kevin!" Ben wined.

"What, you want me to stop?" Kevin stopped, his hot breath passing over Ben's neck.

Ben squirmed under him, but ended up grinding up against him and pulling at Kevin's shirt.

"That's a no." Kevin sighed and returned to the other's neck.

The two were hardened walls that rubbed against each other, and in a fit of need for space. Ben was still whimpering and fighting Kevin, but his hands were pulling at the taller teen, suggesting more grinding. There was a simple answer to this. Kevin sat up quickly enough to undo both of their pants.

"Wait, Kevin!" Ben protested unconvincingly.

"Shut it." Kevin growled. He was still in the process of kicking his off pants when he began to rub Ben through his tighty whities. The teen instantly shut up, or at least his protests had stopped. He was moaning now, but Kevin could see the stop look on his face still.

When Kevin straddled Ben and pulled the undies down enough to free his erection, Ben started up once more.

"Kevin no!" He wined.

"You'll like it." Kevin growled at him, his voice rugged.

"But I'm not ready, and we're on the side of the highway."

Kevin stopped arguing, and simply crawled up over Ben's chest, pulling his cock out and presenting it to the teen.

"Noo." Ben wined, although he didn't hesitate in taking Kevin in his mouth. He gave the tip a few solid licks before sucking the length inside.

Kevin moaned at the tight vacuum. He would have let his head fall back but the car was unforgiving, instead he just rested his head against the window and watched Ben's head bob back and forth along his length.

Ben glanced up at the taller teen, who bit his lip in response. He managed to reach back at an awkward angle and find Ben's cock, jerking him slowly in time with Ben's mouth.

The boy wined around his length, and Kevin still couldn't figure out what was going on with him, but at this point he no longer cared.

After some time Kevin pulled away from Ben's mouth. "Ah, my jaw…" Ben wined.

"You'll live." Kevin immediately turned his attention to Ben's rear. He took the younger teen's length in hand and then felt his way down under Ben's balls. The brunet whaled against the back of his hand as two slickened fingers slipped in.

"Ah, it hurts, Kevin!" Ben cried.

"Should I stop?" Kevin gasped.

"Noooo, I mean, Yeeeeeess!" Ben cried.

"No keep going, or Yes stop?" Kevin yelled at him.

"Don't yell at me!" Ben recoiled.

"You're confusing me!" Kevin growled.

"You look so angry! Ahh!" Ben ended that thought with a moan as the fingers brushed over his prostate.

"That'll shut you up." Kevin said in relief. In retrospect, it did stop Ben's wining, but his moans were something else.

Kevin tried to calm him down even more by taking Ben's cock in the back of his throat. The shorter teen's legs came up on either side of Kevin's torso and squeezed around him, thrusting up at his mouth gently.

"You are too enjoying this." Kevin growled as he withdrew his fingers. "Turn over." He commanded.

"Wait, we're actually going to…. You know… do that?"

"Have sex? Yuh!" Kevin said out of disbelieve.

"But Kevin! This is completely unplanned. Unplanned sex is very unsafe and there's a condom in my back pocket." Ben whaled.

"You…. Huh?" Kevin had to roll that statement around in his head for a minute before he got the hint to fish through Ben's back pocket of his pants. He reached to the floor of the car where their pants were and fished out a small packet.

Upon reading the condom packet Kevin's pale face went paler. "Mr. Smoothie Brand Fruit Bone flavored Condom?" He looked up at Ben. "Are you serious?" he asked out of disbelief.

The urgent I'm going to start wining again look on Ben's face told him to disregard that though. Kevin opened the packet and rolled the rubber down over his tip. Before he assumed the position again though, he crawled back up over Ben's body. He presented the concealed tip to Ben who wasted no time in savoring the flavored latex.

Ben moaned thickly around Kevin and began to suck on the tip until Kevin thought he would come just from that alone. He was also afraid that the brunet would start to chew on his penis.

The flavor had earned him enough lubrication from Ben's mouth to begin. Once again, he ordered Ben to roll over, which he did, and without hesitation Kevin slid his cock between Ben's cheeks. In a small fit of foreplay, he leaned in a bit, letting it slip up between the crack to the flat of his back and then down again.

The blunt tip added pressure to Ben's rear until it slipped passed the tight muscle. Ben cried out loudly before he felt Kevin's length begin to slip back out again. The taller teen really wasn't wasting any time. He fell into a rhythm that slowly picked up, and the two began to moan in unison.

Kevin's hand slid up from Ben's hips, over his flat stomach and to a perked nipple, tweaking it and actually enjoying the wining protest he got from the brunet. "Kevin…" Ben began, but was cut short as Kevin's fingers sought out the other nipple. He scooted up so that they were both somewhat sitting, but leaning forward with Ben's hand supporting him on the window, which made a descent montage reference handprint in the condensation.

Ben's body convulsed under Kevin's and he looked back at Kevin in warning.

The older teen knew what that meant. He picked up his pace and wrapped his hand around Ben's cock, quickly stroking it in time with their thrusts. "Ah, Kevin, I love you." Ben gasped.

The taller teen froze out of sheer shock. What was he supposed to say to that? The panicked glance he got that said if you stop I'm going to ask you to marry me told him not to stop though. They both continued to moan until Ben cried out loudly, the two coming in unison and Ben throwing his head back and smacking Kevin in the nose.

The taller teen fell over backwards and quickly clamped his hands down over his bloodied nose.

"Kevin! Oh no, that was all my fault! I'm so sorry!" Ben wined, still uncoordinated from the orgasm.

"Dude, it's fine." Kevin growled, trying to get this creep off of him.

"But I am so sorry, does it hurt?"

"No, the piece of cartilage that's been moved over three millimeters feels just fine." Ben looked embarrassed and guilt ridden and simply sat there staring at the taller teen. "so what was all that talking about our feelings stuff?"

"What do you mean Kevin?" Ben's expression changed to a friendlier smile.

"Why didn't you just say 'fuck me in the back seat.' Huh?" Kevin finished this thought just as the door to his camero was wrenched open. Two more fully clothed Bens stood outside his car, staring dumbly at the scene inside.

""What… the… You screwed the other me?" the leader of the Ben's growled.

"He said he loved me." Kevin explained defensively.

The hotheaded arrogant Ben turned to their sensitive counter part with a furious look of rage on his face. "You said WHAT?"