It was one of the worst days of Jo's life. She was sitting in Bobby's living room while the people around her were talking quietly, reminiscing about the time Dean did this or the time he saved this persons ass. But Jo wasn't listening to their memories; she was remembering her own from just few weeks earlier.

Jo was wiping down the bar when Dean walked in the door. "Hey Jo"

"Hey Dean, what you doing here? Where's Sam?"

Dean looked nervous when he answered. "He's a couple town's over, passed out. Left him sleeping"

Jo couldn't help but be confused. The Dean she knew and loved, yes she could finally admitted it if not at least to herself that she had fallen for the jackass a long time ago, was never unsure around any female. Well except maybe Jo's mother, but she did have that effect on men. So when Dean gazed around the bar searching, she took pity on the hunter.

"Mom's out of town helping an old friend of the family. You can chill. So what can I get ya?"

"Shot of J.D."

Jo's eyebrows lifted. Dean usually left the hard stuff for only after a really bad hunt, she wanted to ask, but she knew he would talk in his own time, so she just poured to shot and pushed it in front of him.

"So what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Jo couldn't help but ask after Dean tossed back the whiskey.

"I did something Jo, something bad." Dean wouldn't look her in the eye; he just kept staring at the bottom of the glass.

"Is Sammy ok? I mean what's going on Dean?"

"I know this doesn't make sense Jo, but just listen ok?"

"Ok, but you're starting to scare me."

"Well get used to that feeling, but you remember the accident before my dad died?"

"Yeah your dad called a crossroads right, and you played Lazarus?" Jo knew it hurt him to talk about why his dad died, but she also knew better than to sugarcoat things with Dean, so she rarely censored herself around him.

He nodded at her for another shot and knocked it back before he spoke again, but this time he locked his eyes with hers, as if begging for her to understand. "Well father like son."

Jo froze, she searched Dean's eyes for any hint that it was a joke, but all she saw was the truth. "Dean what have you done?" Jo knew she was whispering but she didn't think she had the strength to speak any louder.

Still holding her gaze he answered. "I did what I have always done; I took care of my brother."

Jo could feel the tears start to gather in her eyes as Dean face became blurry, and normally would have wiped them away, but if she couldn't let go of the death grip on the bar. So instead she just let them fall silently. Dean hands came up to cup her cheeks, and when Jo leaned onto the touch, he used his thumbs to get rid to her tears.

"Tell me what happened."

"I failed. Dad told he to watch out for him, and I failed. He was too far away, I couldn't get to him in time, and he… he… he died in my arms, and it was my fault. I just couldn't let him go, not after my dad died to keep me alive to watch out for him. So I made a deal." Dean turned his back to her when he finished, like he couldn't stand to look at her. It pissed her off, and suddenly the strength Jo was missing earlier came back in full force. She walked around the bar, grabbed his shoulder and spun him back to face her.

"You idiot! You honestly think your father gave up his life just so you could play babysitter to Sam! He did it cause he loved you, you stupid stubborn ass!" When Jo saw that she wasn't getting thru to him she pulled back her fist and let it fly.

"What the fuck Jo!"

"Now if you're done with your pity party, we can start to work on getting you out of the mess you made of things." Turning around to walk back to the bar, she left Dean rubbing his jaw where she hit him.

"It's too late for that Jo."

Jo stopped walking but didn't look back. Still without turning she spoke. "What do you mean it's too late?"

"It wasn't your normal 10 year deal." Dean apparently tired of talking to her back, stepped in front of her.

It was Jo's turn not to be able to return the stare. "How long was it for then?"

When he didn't answer right away she looked up and saw a look on Dean's face she couldn't recognize. "Dam Jo. I'm sorry; I should have never come here tonight." With that he started towards the door.

He had just reached the door when a beer bottle smashed into the wall next to his head. "Fuck that Dean! You don't get to just drop this and run. Now answer me! How long?"

Dean let go of the door but instead of walk back to the bar, he leaned against the door. They stood that way for a few minutes before Dean motioned for her. "Come here." When Jo made no move, Dean surprised her again. "Please."

Jo moved slowly until she was right in front him. Dean took a deep breath. "A year. I had a year."

"Had? You had? Meaning you no longer have a year, so how much time do you have then? Cause I know you're an ass but you wouldn't tell me this if you didn't have at least a couple of months left, right. Dean? Right?"

She had never seen Dean's eyes so full of sadness when he answered her. Not even after his father died, his eyes were angry then. "A week Jo. Look I came to tell you something ok? Ya, I know I'm selfish asshole for this, but I needed you to know some stuff, about me."

Jo just started at him dumfounded. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that A- Dean made a deal for his soul, B- he was going to die, and C- would not only be dead but by the end of the month. While she was looking at Dean, she realized that this was him saying good-bye. So she mentally shook herself back to reality, she needed to hear what he had to say.

"Now just listen first, just don't say anything." Taking another breath, "I never intended to tell you any of this, but I couldn't just leave it like this. Sam told me what Meg said to you in Duluth and I think you deserve to know the truth. "

Jo didn't want to hear how he thought of her as a sister, or some stupid school girl, not now. So she went to open the door to make him leave. But Dean grabbed her arm. "NO Jo. You need to hear this. I do care about you, hell I've had a thing for you since you punched me the first time. Now I'm not saying I love you, even if I did I'm not sure if I would know it or not, but your it for me. Ever since Duluth I've known that there wouldn't be anyone else again, but who I'm and with what I do… I just couldn't do that to you. I never thought I could every want to hurt Sam, but walking in and seeing what he did, I almost killed him."

"Why are you telling me this? What's the point?" Tears freely running down her face now.

"I just couldn't have you thinking that you meant nothing to me. I need to you know that if anything could have made me happy, that if anyone could have made look for something more out of life, it would have been you. If I could have ever had a normal life, I would have made it with you."

Jo didn't remember how they went from talking to her walking up alone in her bed, but she knew that Dean was gone. His side of the bed was still warm, but she somehow knew he left already. She rolled over to bury her face in the pillow he used, but stopped when she saw the note on the side table. When she picked it up a ring fell onto the bed.

Wear it for me, but please don't mourn me for long.

She picked up the ring he left, and saw that it was a simple silver band. Nothing fancy, like it just existed and that was enough. She slipped onto the ring finger of her right hand, and still has yet to take it off.

"Jo. Jo? JO!"

Jo looked up to see Sam standing in front of her. She looked around and realized that she was still as Bobby's, still at Dean's memorial, and that she was starting at the only Winchester left. "Yeah Sam?"

"Just wanted to say good-bye before I took off." She wanted to say something about the last time a Winchester said good-bye, but decided she wanted to keep her last moments with Dean to herself. She still hadn't told anyone that Dean had come to see her, and probably never would. So she sat on the edge of her seat for a whole week, waiting for her mom to tell her the news that Dean was dead. She didn't have to wait long. But looking back at Sam, she instantly recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same one Dean had worn when he talked about his father. Anger, hate, and self-loathing. She stood up quickly and got right in his face, just as angry as had been when she bitched at Dean for the same look.

"Don't you dare think you get to blame yourself for what he did! I swear to god if you go try something stupid I will hog tie your ass and beat the shit out of you! Do you hear me Sam?"

Sam for once wasn't calm, he was to pissed at himself for letting Dean down to care who he took his pain out on. And with Jo screaming in his face about something she had no business talking about, he just went on emotion.

"Whoa! He left me Jo! He didn't once stop to think what this would do to me. Not once! So why shouldn't I just go make a deal right now?"

"He left you? Yeah he did, but you left him first remember? His whole life was you Sam. YOU. Don't you get that? When you died, he didn't have a reason to breathe anymore. From the time your mother was killed, his soul responsibility was to keep you safe. And then what happened? He watched you die right in front of him, so what did you expect him to do huh? Say oops and move on. He made the deal cause he knew you could live without him, but he also knew he couldn't live without you. So fine go ahead make your damn deal, but know if you do, Deans death will be in vain and you'll be spitting on his grave."

Jo couldn't stand to look at him anymore, so she turned around to leave, but was stopped by her mom.

"Jo where do you think you're going?"

"I can't be here anymore, I have to…" Jo stopped. She didn't know what she was doing, but she needed to leave, to get away from everything. So she kissed her moms cheek, and without looking her in the eye, "love you mom, but I need to be alone. I'll see you back at the bar at some point. Please don't worry." With that she walked out of Bobby's house with everyone staring at her back.

Later that same night she was sitting in some random motel room bathroom waiting for the 5 minutes to be up. She knew that the chances were slim, hell she was only 2 days late, but she couldn't walk around without knowing any longer, so she got the test. She wasn't sure if she wanted it to be positive or not. No that was bullshit. She wanted this baby, if there was a baby, but she wasn't sure she could deal with it without Dean. One thing she did know was that if she was pregnant, she would be the only one to know it was Deans. She knew it was selfish, but she wasn't going to share the last piece of him with anyone else.

She smiled when she thought of how freaked he would be if he were alive right now. He would be pacing the room, muttering to himself about what Ellen was gona do to him, and pulling his hair out from stress. She was pulled from her fantasy when the alarm of her cell phone went off. Ok Harvelle moment of truth. She picked up the stick, and started to cry. A mother, she was going to be a mom. And not just any mother, the mother of Dean's only child. So maybe it wasn't the worst day of her life after all.

A/N---- I wrote this as the begining of a longer story, so if you want me to continue, please review, and I'll add chapters. But if not this will stay as a stand alone. Thanks for reading my first try at fanfic.

Daivs395