Progression of a Heart

Summary: Edmund has gone from feeling like Cain, to Jacob, to Jonathan. A drabble of biblical allusions.

Cain

In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord as an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.

-Genesis 4:4-5

Edmund feels as if he's always hated Peter. He knows it isn't true. He looks at the old family pictures, and the smile on his face, and he knows that he once loved his big brother very much. But he can't remember that time, and while it partially scares him, mostly he just pretends it never existed. It's easier that way.

So he goes out of his way to cause Peter pain. He says things he doesn't really mean. But he wants to mean them.

Everyone is always so pleased with Peter. No one has even really congratulated Edmund on anything and he simply can't handle it anymore.

So he resolves to do whatever damage he can- at whatever cost.

Jacob

Isaac, who had a taste for wild game loved Esau. . .

-Genesis 25:28

Peter is more loved. Edmund has come to terms with that fact. He has even come to terms with Peter, and embraces him readily. But he can't fathom the idea that all will ever be truly well between them again.

Edmund loves Peter, and he knows Peter loves him in turn, but it's an unequal love. Peter has proven that his love for Edmund is unconditional, but Edmund can't say the same. And Edmund is afraid to test it and push his love to the limits, because he's not sure what he'll find.

Jonathan

And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

-1 Samuel 18:3

The limits of what Edmund thought was a type of conditional love had been pushed. And he had found that this love wasn't so conditional after all.

At that moment, on a battle field, seeing that sword come down on Peter, Edmund knew. Edmund knew he would do anything. He rushed forward, sword at the ready. He threw himself between Peter and the enemy. He was aware that his own life may end any second, that this sacrifice may have cost him his life.

Edmund also knew he could have never forgiven himself if he had not thrown himself into harm's way. Peter is his brother, and nothing else in that one moment mattered.