"Oh my God..."
#Yes?#
"Oh my God..." Xander repeated as he picked up his pants from the floor.
#I heard you the first time.#
"Not you!" the young man shouted angrily to the deity that inhabited his mind, "I was pleading to someone that might actually HELP us! You know, someone who doesn't need to piggyback themself on a hapless human host to still survive!"
#Why you little-# Hephaestus started, then he broke it off. He might not have the same powers he once had, but he still had thosands of years of experience...and those told him that fighting his current co-habitant in this body on such a level would just take up time and accomplish nothing. So instead, he just reminded Xander, #Well, we did help. We told you that it was missing, didn't we?#
"Fat lot of good that did us..." the young Smith grumbled, pulling on the aforementioned pants angrily. Then he glanced at his watch, which had survived the extremely well-done stripping Buffy had done on him earlier. "Since it happened two and a half hours ago..."
##Well## pointed out Aphrodite as Xander's arm brushed Buffy's while they both dressed, ##It's not as if you would have listened earlier, Lover-boy. You were a bit preoccupied, if I remember correctly.##
Xander grimaced, smiled, grimaced, then smiled again as he remembered their earlier activities.
#Besides# the Smith-god pointed out, #We couldn't talk to you until the two of you...had your fun...#
"Yeah." Xander agreed.
"Yeah, what?" Buffy asked. She had been able to figure out the conversation from hearing Xander's half while she pulled on her shirt and fixed her hair, but this one comment she hadn't been able to discern.
"Nothing..." the dark-haired young man said with a sheepish grin as he pulled on his shirt, an action that made Buffy sigh in disappointment.
Jeez, one time...one night...one kiss...and you're already sighing at him getting dressed, Buffster. You've fallen, haven't you? the Slayer asked herself, and she could swear she could hear a totally unappropriate muffled giggle from the Love-goddess that was in her mind.
However, before Buffy could ask 'Dite about it, all four of them heard the doorbell ring. The sound put Buffy into battle-stance, which despite being genuinely deadly looked rather comical since she had a hair-brush in the place that a stake normally went. Xander, on the other hand, grabbed to the pendant that hung around his neck as if it would protect him.
There was silence, until Xander broke it.
"Who do you think that is?"
Buffy, hair-brush in hand, turned to look at the man she loved as the doorbell rang again.
"Giles?" she asked nervously.
Xander shook his head. "His house, remember? Why would he ring?"
Buffy then shrugged.
There was another moment of silence, then Xander raised another possiblity. One that made the young man sick to his stomach and raised hackles on the Slayer he loved.
"Anya?" he suggested in a squeaky voice as his mind thought up thousands of ways that he could die painfully while Anya watched in glee.
#Oh please, half of those aren't even physically possible...# the god within his mind scoffed, #Or you'd die within seconds, which wouldn't be much fun for her at all...#
"Thanks for that little tidbit, oh mighty Smith-god," Xander growled, "That helped..."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing..." Xander told her once more as he attempted to glare at his own head which, as most know, is pretty impossible. But he tried.
"So."
"So," the young man repeated.
"Let's...go see who it is..." Xander reasoned out loud, "then we can find out where the stake is-"
"And get back to what we were doing..." Buffy finished with a grin in his direction. It made a major improvement in his expression.
"I love you, Buffster." he told her simply as he started towards the door, the limp no better for his bit of rest.
The statement took her by surprise, but immediately she responded with total honesty, an honesty that surprised even her.
"I love you too, Xan-man..."
The two waited a moment, just soaking in the emotions that had played out in the room moments ago, and the rest of the night, then Xander reached out and opened the door.
It opened like a door normally did, and the two made their way quietly down the steps until they were at the Watcher's front door. Then, with the care that most people reserve for defusing bombs and carrying nitroglycerin, Xander opened the door...
To reveal a rather upset Anya.
"Xander!" she shouted immediately as she jumped into his arms. The action made the young man think of Anya's Halloween costume, and because of this, he nearly ended up rolling on the floor. However, he was able to keep a straight face...barely.
"Xander, where have you been!?" the ex-demoness asked him with a pout as she hung on him, "I've been looking all over for you, and you've been gone for two nights practically, and we haven't had sex, and I tried to call, but you weren't there, and we didn't get to have sex, and I missed you Xander, and I didn't get any sex!"
Buffy, her eyebrow raised nearly to her hairline, watched as Xander carefully pulled his ex (yes, the little voice in the Slayer's mind cried with joy, his EX) off of his body, much to the aforementioned ex's displeasure.
"Xander?" she asked in confusion, the pout now curious as well as upset.
"Anya..." the young man in question started. Then he looked to Buffy. "Can I talk to you in private, honey?"
The ex-demon of vengence shrugged, then followed as Xander lead her past the kitchen and into the small resting area beyond. Buffy watched them disappear, wondering what on earth her love was going to say to get out of his relationship with Anya sans dieing and/or maiming. However, she kept her ear perked for cries of help just in case the red-headed former demon blew her top and did something hasty. She couldn't have her Xander in bad shape.
##Your Xander?## the sarcastic voice of the Love-goddess invaded her thoughts, ##My my. One night and you're all protective and jealous...##
"I am NOT being overprotective..." the Slayer argued quietly, "OR jealous. I mean, what do I have to be jealous of?"
##Nothing.## 'Dite answered, ##But you are. You're worried that she'll convince him to come back. That she has some sort of charm that will make him fall out of love with you. That they'll come back here with their hands entwined and their eyes glued to one another...##
"Am not!" she protested. But it was rather pitiful.
##Please. Love-goddess...## Aphrodite reminded her, ##One that is literally inside your head...##
Buffy didn't have a response for that, so she just let her mind wander on the topic. However, this was interrupted as well.
##Sweetheart, don't worry...## 'Dite told her soothingly, ##He loves you. He's always loved you. He's stuck by you for five years of being boyfriend-sans-perks...he sure as Hades isn't going to screw it up now! This is the guy who brought you back to life. The guy who saved you countless times. The guy who would give up his very soul for you, and you know that it's all true!##
Buffy didn't answer.
##Considering all that, I don't think you need to be worried about a clueless and tactless, if sweet, little nymphomanic ex-demoness...do you?##
Again, Buffy didn't answer, but the Love-goddess could tell that her message had been taken to heart. She was positive of it when Buffy smiled.
##That's better, dear...## 'Dite told her with an audible grin, ##Don't frown. It gives you wrinkles...##
"So does smiling too much..." the Slayer argued, her spirits renewed.
##Yeah, but then the wrinkles are worth it...##
This made Buffy break out into an even wider grin, which got even wider still as Xander and Anya walked back into the room. But she was rather surprised at what she saw.
Xander looked the same as he had going in, if a little better for having the whole thing over with. But Anya, who she'd expected to either erupt with anger or turn into a sobbing heap, looked just as cheerful as she had been she they'd opened the door. Curious, Buffy asked him about it the second he joined her side.
"How'd you-"
"She was turned into a demon before 'let's just be friends' stopped working..." Xander whispered to her.
"But-"
"That," he continued, "And I promised I'd help her hook up with the guy at the Burger Barn she likes...think his name is Graham something...not to mention the fact that I promised that I'd give her one of my works as a break-up present..."
Buffy's eyes widened in shock.
"She's a not a horrible beast, Buffy..." Xander defended his ex, "Anya can be understanding...if you sell things right..."
Then Anya, who had been standing around while the two whispered back and forth, told Xander, "See ya at the Burger Barn then...FRIEND..."
"Yeah..." Xander said with a smile and a wave, "Till then..."
However, as she reached the door and was about to turn the knob, a figure burst through the opening. It took a moment due to the abruptness of the entry, but finally they all figured out who it was.
"Riley?" Buffy asked, frightened that her own ex was about to do something terrible.
However, to her even greater horror, the man who looked like Riley shook his head, then told them all in an angry, raspy voice.
"Sorry. You must have mistaken me for someone else, MA'AM. Name's Ares..."
In complete shock, Buffy grabbed onto Xander for support. She knew that SHE was the Slayer, and that her love, even disguarding the fact that he had a bad leg, couldn't protect her better than she could protect herself...but that was only in a physical fight. When it came to emotions, Buffy didn't know anyone nearly as strong as the dark-haired young man next to her. And she knew very well that the battle that would occur shortly would be far more important in the emotional sense.
But this protective touch also gave them another advantage, and the gods within them took advantage of this as soon as they could.
#Give us control!# they both heard Smith-god shout in their minds, #Now!#
Xander, unsure about the intellegence of this idea, looked across the room to the door where Buffy's (and Aphrodite's) ex stood, his large frame heaving with each angry breath. Truly, Xander could feel, this was ARES. It was the god of War who was in control of that body, and unlike Xander and Buffy, it was without choice.
Quickly, Xander clutched to the pendant around his neck to comfort himself. The feel of the metal on his skin, the shape of the hammer in his hand...they gave him power. Power not just to Hephaestus, but to Xander himself. Power, and confidence, and renewed courage. And with these, he let himself go and gave the god control of his body.
"Get out of here, Ares..." said a voice that Buffy knew from within her love's mind, a voice that was older and more tired than Xander's could ever be.
"Thanks, Gimpy, but I think not..." the figure in the doorway answered with a sneer, "I'm here to get my girl and get the hell out of this place..."
This comment got him a disgusted snort from Buffy, or rather, Aphrodite, to whom she had given her body as soon as Xander had given his.
"Please" the Love-goddess said with a roll of her eyes, "I am not your 'girl' and I'm staying right here, thank you..."
"I don't think so," said the Xander-clad god with a cold calmness that was far more frightening than all of Ares' sneering anger.
"Oh yeah?" asked the War-god, stepping forward towards the dark-haired young man with a rageful snarl.
"Yeah, you over-confident asshole!"
The god within the soldier growled, then stepped even closer to where the couple stood. As he did, Xander/Hephaestus limped till he was in front of his love. True, he knew that Buffy could defend herself just as well as he'd known it earlier, but it was an instinctual action. Every man, no matter how peaceful, defends what is his, what he cares about.
"Yeah." the young man repeated, just to emphasize it.
"You and what army, Gimpy?" the god of War asked, getting right in the other's face.
"Don't call me that..." he said coldly.
"I'll call you whatever I want, GIMPY..."
"I'll kick your ass, sword-boy..." This time, more heat filled the dark-haired man's voice. Heat like a physical thing, like being too close to a forge fire.
"I'll kick yours so far you'll need Cerby to find it, G-I-M-P-Y!" the War-god taunted, shouting right into the other deity's face.
"You're just mad Uncle Hades left him to me..."
"Yeah, well, you always sucked up to him, just like the others. What did you expect?" Ares asked angrily. Then his voice turned to a mocking falsetto. "Oh, Uncle Hades, I've made a new collar for Cerby. Oh, I made a new staff for Charon. Oh, I-"
However, the War-god was interrupted by a loud yell from behind his adversary.
"Oh, just stop it! The two of you!" shouted Aphrodite, shoving past her love (gently, of course) to glare at both of them (far more gently at Hephaestus than at Ares), "You're acting like a couple of children!"
"Am not!" came the unintentional chorus from the two opposing deities.
"You both are!" screamed 'Dite, "And it's ridiculous! Is this what the great Olympians are reduced to? Threatening each other like school-children?"
"Well, he started it!" answered the Smith-god, showing exactly just how similar he was to the young man who normally controlled the body.
However, Riley/Ares was unable to make the expected retort because they were interrupted by an extremely confused, extremely loud ex-demoness.
"What the hell is going on here?" she asked, stomping into the middle of the fight between the three possessed bodies, "And why are you calling him Ares!?"
All three of them lost their anger in the complete shock. They'd completely forgotten the fact that Anya was there...and listening. However, like always, Xander/Hephaestus was cool and recovered first.
"Cause...he is," the Smith-god told her simply, "Ares. He's...Ares."
"No, he's Riley." Anya told them with just as much simplicity.
"Nope," Buffy/'Dite refuted with a rather ditzy-looking twirl of her hair, "He's Ares...he's just inside of Riley. Like I'm inside of Buffy and Heph is inside Xander."
Anya looked stricken. "WHO'S inside of Xander?"
"Hephaestus," the deity within the aforementioned young man told her, "God of the Forge and Fire, one of the Twelve Great Olympian Gods."
"Well, get out!" Anya shouted at him, getting between him and Ares/Riley. Then she hit him on the head with her purse. "Out! Out! Get out of Xander!"
"But-"
"OUT!" repeated the ex-demoness, hitting him again as Ares watched with a grin on Riley's face. "I don't care who you are! This is my boyfriend's-"
She thought.
"Ex-boyfriend's body, not yours!" Then Anya looked to Buffy with a look of confusion.
"Hey," she asked, "Why aren't you helping me? You're, like, Slayer-gal. With superpowers? Miss Totally-against-possession?"
Buffy rolled her eyes, then took the purse out of Anya's hands gently so as not to startle her.
"Anya," she explained slowly, as if to a small child, "Xander is a Blood of Hephaestus...do you know what that is?"
She nodded.
"Well, then you know that they share their bodies with the god Hephaestus, right?"
Another nod.
"Then you understand that Xander is just ALLOWING Heph to use his body for a while? You know, since Buffy is ALLOWING me, Aphrodite, to use hers? And how Riley...well, I don't exactly know what happened with Sword-boy over their, but now the commando is really Ares?"
One last nod.
"Good," said 'Dite with a small growl, "Then stop hitting my husband and Buffy's boyfriend."
"Yes..." Hephaestus/Xander agreed weakly, "Cause that hurt. Damn, what do you keep in there? Forge tongs?"
"Actually," Anya said, brightening a little, "I keep a small bottle of mace there, just in case. And since you're all really scaring me with all of this, I think I'll leave now. And hopefully Willow with Demeter in her body won't come busting through the door to stop me this time, okay?"
And with that, the ex-demoness nervously made her way out.
"Well," Ares said with a smirk as he watched her go, "Looks like I didn't need an army. Just a confused ex-girlfriend..."
"Shut up, Ares..." grumbled Xander, "I could kick your leathered ass any day..."
"Whatever, Gimpy..." answered the War-god, blowing off his brother deity.
Which Hephaestus answered by ignoring the comment. Instead, he turned to his wife with a small smile.
"Thanks, dear..."
"No problem, toots..." she answered with a smile, "Now I think we really should give Buffy, Xander, AND Riley their bodies back, don't you?"
##I'd appreciate it...## came Buffy's voice within the mind of Aphrodite.
#Same here...# responded Xander similarly.
"No dice..." answered the god of War, "I like controlling this body, thank you."
"Ares," Hephaestus said in way of warning, "Give it back!"
Immediately, the god within the commando jumped towards the dark-haired young man. "Make me!"
"Boys!" 'Dite shouted, getting quite sick of breaking the two of them up, "Will you both just stop and sit-"
However, she was unable to finish her command because, to both of the deities' horror, it was at that point that her body seemed to lose all it's energy, and she crumpled onto the floor.
#Yes?#
"Oh my God..." Xander repeated as he picked up his pants from the floor.
#I heard you the first time.#
"Not you!" the young man shouted angrily to the deity that inhabited his mind, "I was pleading to someone that might actually HELP us! You know, someone who doesn't need to piggyback themself on a hapless human host to still survive!"
#Why you little-# Hephaestus started, then he broke it off. He might not have the same powers he once had, but he still had thosands of years of experience...and those told him that fighting his current co-habitant in this body on such a level would just take up time and accomplish nothing. So instead, he just reminded Xander, #Well, we did help. We told you that it was missing, didn't we?#
"Fat lot of good that did us..." the young Smith grumbled, pulling on the aforementioned pants angrily. Then he glanced at his watch, which had survived the extremely well-done stripping Buffy had done on him earlier. "Since it happened two and a half hours ago..."
##Well## pointed out Aphrodite as Xander's arm brushed Buffy's while they both dressed, ##It's not as if you would have listened earlier, Lover-boy. You were a bit preoccupied, if I remember correctly.##
Xander grimaced, smiled, grimaced, then smiled again as he remembered their earlier activities.
#Besides# the Smith-god pointed out, #We couldn't talk to you until the two of you...had your fun...#
"Yeah." Xander agreed.
"Yeah, what?" Buffy asked. She had been able to figure out the conversation from hearing Xander's half while she pulled on her shirt and fixed her hair, but this one comment she hadn't been able to discern.
"Nothing..." the dark-haired young man said with a sheepish grin as he pulled on his shirt, an action that made Buffy sigh in disappointment.
Jeez, one time...one night...one kiss...and you're already sighing at him getting dressed, Buffster. You've fallen, haven't you? the Slayer asked herself, and she could swear she could hear a totally unappropriate muffled giggle from the Love-goddess that was in her mind.
However, before Buffy could ask 'Dite about it, all four of them heard the doorbell ring. The sound put Buffy into battle-stance, which despite being genuinely deadly looked rather comical since she had a hair-brush in the place that a stake normally went. Xander, on the other hand, grabbed to the pendant that hung around his neck as if it would protect him.
There was silence, until Xander broke it.
"Who do you think that is?"
Buffy, hair-brush in hand, turned to look at the man she loved as the doorbell rang again.
"Giles?" she asked nervously.
Xander shook his head. "His house, remember? Why would he ring?"
Buffy then shrugged.
There was another moment of silence, then Xander raised another possiblity. One that made the young man sick to his stomach and raised hackles on the Slayer he loved.
"Anya?" he suggested in a squeaky voice as his mind thought up thousands of ways that he could die painfully while Anya watched in glee.
#Oh please, half of those aren't even physically possible...# the god within his mind scoffed, #Or you'd die within seconds, which wouldn't be much fun for her at all...#
"Thanks for that little tidbit, oh mighty Smith-god," Xander growled, "That helped..."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing..." Xander told her once more as he attempted to glare at his own head which, as most know, is pretty impossible. But he tried.
"So."
"So," the young man repeated.
"Let's...go see who it is..." Xander reasoned out loud, "then we can find out where the stake is-"
"And get back to what we were doing..." Buffy finished with a grin in his direction. It made a major improvement in his expression.
"I love you, Buffster." he told her simply as he started towards the door, the limp no better for his bit of rest.
The statement took her by surprise, but immediately she responded with total honesty, an honesty that surprised even her.
"I love you too, Xan-man..."
The two waited a moment, just soaking in the emotions that had played out in the room moments ago, and the rest of the night, then Xander reached out and opened the door.
It opened like a door normally did, and the two made their way quietly down the steps until they were at the Watcher's front door. Then, with the care that most people reserve for defusing bombs and carrying nitroglycerin, Xander opened the door...
To reveal a rather upset Anya.
"Xander!" she shouted immediately as she jumped into his arms. The action made the young man think of Anya's Halloween costume, and because of this, he nearly ended up rolling on the floor. However, he was able to keep a straight face...barely.
"Xander, where have you been!?" the ex-demoness asked him with a pout as she hung on him, "I've been looking all over for you, and you've been gone for two nights practically, and we haven't had sex, and I tried to call, but you weren't there, and we didn't get to have sex, and I missed you Xander, and I didn't get any sex!"
Buffy, her eyebrow raised nearly to her hairline, watched as Xander carefully pulled his ex (yes, the little voice in the Slayer's mind cried with joy, his EX) off of his body, much to the aforementioned ex's displeasure.
"Xander?" she asked in confusion, the pout now curious as well as upset.
"Anya..." the young man in question started. Then he looked to Buffy. "Can I talk to you in private, honey?"
The ex-demon of vengence shrugged, then followed as Xander lead her past the kitchen and into the small resting area beyond. Buffy watched them disappear, wondering what on earth her love was going to say to get out of his relationship with Anya sans dieing and/or maiming. However, she kept her ear perked for cries of help just in case the red-headed former demon blew her top and did something hasty. She couldn't have her Xander in bad shape.
##Your Xander?## the sarcastic voice of the Love-goddess invaded her thoughts, ##My my. One night and you're all protective and jealous...##
"I am NOT being overprotective..." the Slayer argued quietly, "OR jealous. I mean, what do I have to be jealous of?"
##Nothing.## 'Dite answered, ##But you are. You're worried that she'll convince him to come back. That she has some sort of charm that will make him fall out of love with you. That they'll come back here with their hands entwined and their eyes glued to one another...##
"Am not!" she protested. But it was rather pitiful.
##Please. Love-goddess...## Aphrodite reminded her, ##One that is literally inside your head...##
Buffy didn't have a response for that, so she just let her mind wander on the topic. However, this was interrupted as well.
##Sweetheart, don't worry...## 'Dite told her soothingly, ##He loves you. He's always loved you. He's stuck by you for five years of being boyfriend-sans-perks...he sure as Hades isn't going to screw it up now! This is the guy who brought you back to life. The guy who saved you countless times. The guy who would give up his very soul for you, and you know that it's all true!##
Buffy didn't answer.
##Considering all that, I don't think you need to be worried about a clueless and tactless, if sweet, little nymphomanic ex-demoness...do you?##
Again, Buffy didn't answer, but the Love-goddess could tell that her message had been taken to heart. She was positive of it when Buffy smiled.
##That's better, dear...## 'Dite told her with an audible grin, ##Don't frown. It gives you wrinkles...##
"So does smiling too much..." the Slayer argued, her spirits renewed.
##Yeah, but then the wrinkles are worth it...##
This made Buffy break out into an even wider grin, which got even wider still as Xander and Anya walked back into the room. But she was rather surprised at what she saw.
Xander looked the same as he had going in, if a little better for having the whole thing over with. But Anya, who she'd expected to either erupt with anger or turn into a sobbing heap, looked just as cheerful as she had been she they'd opened the door. Curious, Buffy asked him about it the second he joined her side.
"How'd you-"
"She was turned into a demon before 'let's just be friends' stopped working..." Xander whispered to her.
"But-"
"That," he continued, "And I promised I'd help her hook up with the guy at the Burger Barn she likes...think his name is Graham something...not to mention the fact that I promised that I'd give her one of my works as a break-up present..."
Buffy's eyes widened in shock.
"She's a not a horrible beast, Buffy..." Xander defended his ex, "Anya can be understanding...if you sell things right..."
Then Anya, who had been standing around while the two whispered back and forth, told Xander, "See ya at the Burger Barn then...FRIEND..."
"Yeah..." Xander said with a smile and a wave, "Till then..."
However, as she reached the door and was about to turn the knob, a figure burst through the opening. It took a moment due to the abruptness of the entry, but finally they all figured out who it was.
"Riley?" Buffy asked, frightened that her own ex was about to do something terrible.
However, to her even greater horror, the man who looked like Riley shook his head, then told them all in an angry, raspy voice.
"Sorry. You must have mistaken me for someone else, MA'AM. Name's Ares..."
In complete shock, Buffy grabbed onto Xander for support. She knew that SHE was the Slayer, and that her love, even disguarding the fact that he had a bad leg, couldn't protect her better than she could protect herself...but that was only in a physical fight. When it came to emotions, Buffy didn't know anyone nearly as strong as the dark-haired young man next to her. And she knew very well that the battle that would occur shortly would be far more important in the emotional sense.
But this protective touch also gave them another advantage, and the gods within them took advantage of this as soon as they could.
#Give us control!# they both heard Smith-god shout in their minds, #Now!#
Xander, unsure about the intellegence of this idea, looked across the room to the door where Buffy's (and Aphrodite's) ex stood, his large frame heaving with each angry breath. Truly, Xander could feel, this was ARES. It was the god of War who was in control of that body, and unlike Xander and Buffy, it was without choice.
Quickly, Xander clutched to the pendant around his neck to comfort himself. The feel of the metal on his skin, the shape of the hammer in his hand...they gave him power. Power not just to Hephaestus, but to Xander himself. Power, and confidence, and renewed courage. And with these, he let himself go and gave the god control of his body.
"Get out of here, Ares..." said a voice that Buffy knew from within her love's mind, a voice that was older and more tired than Xander's could ever be.
"Thanks, Gimpy, but I think not..." the figure in the doorway answered with a sneer, "I'm here to get my girl and get the hell out of this place..."
This comment got him a disgusted snort from Buffy, or rather, Aphrodite, to whom she had given her body as soon as Xander had given his.
"Please" the Love-goddess said with a roll of her eyes, "I am not your 'girl' and I'm staying right here, thank you..."
"I don't think so," said the Xander-clad god with a cold calmness that was far more frightening than all of Ares' sneering anger.
"Oh yeah?" asked the War-god, stepping forward towards the dark-haired young man with a rageful snarl.
"Yeah, you over-confident asshole!"
The god within the soldier growled, then stepped even closer to where the couple stood. As he did, Xander/Hephaestus limped till he was in front of his love. True, he knew that Buffy could defend herself just as well as he'd known it earlier, but it was an instinctual action. Every man, no matter how peaceful, defends what is his, what he cares about.
"Yeah." the young man repeated, just to emphasize it.
"You and what army, Gimpy?" the god of War asked, getting right in the other's face.
"Don't call me that..." he said coldly.
"I'll call you whatever I want, GIMPY..."
"I'll kick your ass, sword-boy..." This time, more heat filled the dark-haired man's voice. Heat like a physical thing, like being too close to a forge fire.
"I'll kick yours so far you'll need Cerby to find it, G-I-M-P-Y!" the War-god taunted, shouting right into the other deity's face.
"You're just mad Uncle Hades left him to me..."
"Yeah, well, you always sucked up to him, just like the others. What did you expect?" Ares asked angrily. Then his voice turned to a mocking falsetto. "Oh, Uncle Hades, I've made a new collar for Cerby. Oh, I made a new staff for Charon. Oh, I-"
However, the War-god was interrupted by a loud yell from behind his adversary.
"Oh, just stop it! The two of you!" shouted Aphrodite, shoving past her love (gently, of course) to glare at both of them (far more gently at Hephaestus than at Ares), "You're acting like a couple of children!"
"Am not!" came the unintentional chorus from the two opposing deities.
"You both are!" screamed 'Dite, "And it's ridiculous! Is this what the great Olympians are reduced to? Threatening each other like school-children?"
"Well, he started it!" answered the Smith-god, showing exactly just how similar he was to the young man who normally controlled the body.
However, Riley/Ares was unable to make the expected retort because they were interrupted by an extremely confused, extremely loud ex-demoness.
"What the hell is going on here?" she asked, stomping into the middle of the fight between the three possessed bodies, "And why are you calling him Ares!?"
All three of them lost their anger in the complete shock. They'd completely forgotten the fact that Anya was there...and listening. However, like always, Xander/Hephaestus was cool and recovered first.
"Cause...he is," the Smith-god told her simply, "Ares. He's...Ares."
"No, he's Riley." Anya told them with just as much simplicity.
"Nope," Buffy/'Dite refuted with a rather ditzy-looking twirl of her hair, "He's Ares...he's just inside of Riley. Like I'm inside of Buffy and Heph is inside Xander."
Anya looked stricken. "WHO'S inside of Xander?"
"Hephaestus," the deity within the aforementioned young man told her, "God of the Forge and Fire, one of the Twelve Great Olympian Gods."
"Well, get out!" Anya shouted at him, getting between him and Ares/Riley. Then she hit him on the head with her purse. "Out! Out! Get out of Xander!"
"But-"
"OUT!" repeated the ex-demoness, hitting him again as Ares watched with a grin on Riley's face. "I don't care who you are! This is my boyfriend's-"
She thought.
"Ex-boyfriend's body, not yours!" Then Anya looked to Buffy with a look of confusion.
"Hey," she asked, "Why aren't you helping me? You're, like, Slayer-gal. With superpowers? Miss Totally-against-possession?"
Buffy rolled her eyes, then took the purse out of Anya's hands gently so as not to startle her.
"Anya," she explained slowly, as if to a small child, "Xander is a Blood of Hephaestus...do you know what that is?"
She nodded.
"Well, then you know that they share their bodies with the god Hephaestus, right?"
Another nod.
"Then you understand that Xander is just ALLOWING Heph to use his body for a while? You know, since Buffy is ALLOWING me, Aphrodite, to use hers? And how Riley...well, I don't exactly know what happened with Sword-boy over their, but now the commando is really Ares?"
One last nod.
"Good," said 'Dite with a small growl, "Then stop hitting my husband and Buffy's boyfriend."
"Yes..." Hephaestus/Xander agreed weakly, "Cause that hurt. Damn, what do you keep in there? Forge tongs?"
"Actually," Anya said, brightening a little, "I keep a small bottle of mace there, just in case. And since you're all really scaring me with all of this, I think I'll leave now. And hopefully Willow with Demeter in her body won't come busting through the door to stop me this time, okay?"
And with that, the ex-demoness nervously made her way out.
"Well," Ares said with a smirk as he watched her go, "Looks like I didn't need an army. Just a confused ex-girlfriend..."
"Shut up, Ares..." grumbled Xander, "I could kick your leathered ass any day..."
"Whatever, Gimpy..." answered the War-god, blowing off his brother deity.
Which Hephaestus answered by ignoring the comment. Instead, he turned to his wife with a small smile.
"Thanks, dear..."
"No problem, toots..." she answered with a smile, "Now I think we really should give Buffy, Xander, AND Riley their bodies back, don't you?"
##I'd appreciate it...## came Buffy's voice within the mind of Aphrodite.
#Same here...# responded Xander similarly.
"No dice..." answered the god of War, "I like controlling this body, thank you."
"Ares," Hephaestus said in way of warning, "Give it back!"
Immediately, the god within the commando jumped towards the dark-haired young man. "Make me!"
"Boys!" 'Dite shouted, getting quite sick of breaking the two of them up, "Will you both just stop and sit-"
However, she was unable to finish her command because, to both of the deities' horror, it was at that point that her body seemed to lose all it's energy, and she crumpled onto the floor.