Go down to the A/N at the end of this chapter...please.

I know it took me forever to update…but here we are now, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 Clues or it's characters.

Theme: When I Grow Up

When Amy was young

She really wanted to be a Noodle

Because they were really yummy

And to her, not at all futile.

Ian: A noodle? Honestly, grow up.

Amy: Read line one: WHEN AMY WAS YOUNG! And at least I don't think that constipated chickens crow creatively. Or certain people are pretty. Or that turtles fly and tortoises hop!

Ian: Amy, please tell me, are you ill right now? Because I've been told that people with illness tend to say…strange things.

Amy: Oh, you would know.

Ian: Er…what?

Amy: Were you even somewhat conscious last chat?

Ian: Well, I remember you asking me if I knew who Frankfort was, but after that everything became sort of blurry…

Amy: Go back and read the last episode. Now.

Ian: Alright…

Amy: Oh, this is going to be fun…let's go on to the next poem while Ian reads.

When Ian was a child,

He wanted to be a wizard

Because he thought it'd be useful to have a wand

If he got stuck in a blizzard.

Amy: Seriously, Ian? A wizard?

Amy: Ian, Ian, you there?

Amy: It's been 5 minutes…

Ian: I just finished reading.

Amy: And?

Ian: Amy, I was delirious. Anything, everything I said…

Amy: Is perfect blackmail material?

Ian: Though I had to admit it had its perks- even I never knew you enjoyed talking to me!

Amy: Uugh…I was hoping you'd skip that part…

Ian: Not a chance, love.

Amy: Why does this always happen to me? Just when I get the perfect blackmailing idea….it pulls a Benedict on me.

Ian: A Benedict?

Amy: Oh, you know, like Benedict Arnold. He betrayed America for the Red Coats…

Ian: Ohh. So why didn't you just say "it betrays me"?

Amy: It's just this thing Dan and I have, ever since we had to learn more about him since we went to Connecticut for the clues hunt.

Ian: Ahh, pity that turned out to be, eh?

Amy: You know, you are so full of it, you worthless, mindless, piece of…

Ian: Bladder.

Amy: I'm not even going to grace that with a comment.

Ian: You know, by saying that, you are gracing it with a comment.

Amy: I…stop being so logical!

Ian: No can do.

iciclegirl235: I smell some déjà vu!

Amy: Why are you even here? You're only supposed to come at the end of the episode!

iciclegirl235: Just making an observation.

Amy: Well…STOP IT!

iciclegirl235: Touchy, aren't we?

Ian: Pardon me, but who are you?

iciclegirl235: You tell me.

Ian: But how? I don't even know you!

iciclegirl235: It's figure of speech, you puny buttock!

Ian: Women these days and their Shakespearean insults. And, by the way, that buttock one rivals the bladder one.

Amy: So you're replacing me.

Ian: What? No! It's just that buttock and bladder are both quite hilarious, and…

Amy: I see how it is.

Ian: Now hold on. What do you mean, replacing me? We were never together! Or even friends!

Amy: Then I'll just go.

Ian: Amy, don't be like that.

Ian: Amy…

Ian: 5 minutes…

iciclegirl235: Now you've done it.

Ian: Wha-you-huh-I- what? What did I do? How is any of this my fault?

iciclegirl235: Ask Amy.

Ian: I would, but she died.

iciclegirl235: Figuratively.

Ian: I don't know about that, she's not answering…

Dan: Yo.

Ian: Dan?

Dan: No. It's freaking Saladin.

Ian: He's still alive?

Dan: I don't know, is he? Let me go check. I'll be back later when Amy- oh man, she's coming! Later.

Ian: What in the name of heffalumps was he talking about? Why was he even here?

Amy: Because I left.

Ian: But now you're back.

Amy: Yes.

Ian: Why'd you leave?

Amy: Because.

Ian: So you do have a reason?

Amy: Yes.

Ian: Are you going to tell me what?

Amy: No.

Ian: Are you going to keep answering with one word?

Amy: Quite possibly.

Ian: A HA! TWO WORDS! I win.

But both of their (somewhat silly) hopes and dreams

Didn't come true

And instead they ended up leading completely opposite lives

One person rich and popular, the other poor and avoided like the flu.

Amy: Okay, I'm not that unpopular. Whoever wrote this makes it sound like I was some nobody who hated socializing and only sat around all day reading books.

Ian: From what I've heard, isn't that true?

Amy: What have you even heard from?

Ian: I…you know, I…hear things. Anyways, we're off topic.

Amy: What exactly was the topic we're supposed to be on?

Ian: Well, it said one person was poor and hated and the other was rich and popular.

Amy: They forgot snobby. And cruel. And infuriating.

Ian: Oh, Amy, that's so sweet, how you care for me so much!

Amy: And infuriating.

Ian: Now Amy, if you'd just stop repeating yourself, we can move on to the next poem.

Amy: I wasn't stopping anything. So just stop being a toe-rag and shut up.

Ian: Harsh. Very harsh. I've never been called a toe-rag before. But then again-

Amy: You've never been called a bladder before, either. Okay. Yeah. I get it.

Ian:…Um…Amy…did I…a-are you alright?

Amy: I'm fine.

Ian: No, something is wrong.

Amy: How would you know?

Ian: I internet stuttered. I never stutter in real life, yet I did just now. How could you not take that and use it against me?

Amy: We all aren't blackmailing, heartless murderers.

Ian: I-what? Since when have I murdered anyone?

Amy: Let me rephrase that. We all aren't blackmailing, heartless, losers.

Ian: There are many arguments which I could make against the loser thing, and I can't do much but except the blackmailing part. But I assure you, I am not heartless.

Amy: Oh yeah? Prove it.

Ian: I know I have a heart, because it has been broken.

Amy: Ha, I- what? You're making this all up, Ian. What movie did you get that from, The Notebook?

Ian: No, I didn't make that up. And I don't see what's so bad about The Notebook. Have you even seen it?

Amy: No…I-I haven't, but I know it's all about sappiness and heartbreak and stuff like that. Believe it or not, I'm not a romantic anymore.

Ian: You said anymore. So you're saying you used to be a romantic, but stopped because…because?

Amy: Because. And we'll leave it at that.

Ian: But I- fine.

Amy: Fine.

Ian: Good.

Amy: Good.

Ian: Fi-

iciclegirl235: You guys. You are boring us. You are boring us very much.

Amy: What do you mean, boring us?

iciclegirl235: Well, this whole conversation has been very nice and all, but it's too serious and emotional. This is supposed to be humorous. Plus, the whole Fine-Fine-Good-Good thing is going to go…well…nowhere.

Ian: So what do you suggest we do?

iciclegirl235: I suggest you work through your issues in a slow, humorous way as so we can insert some more poems into this episode and by the end of this season your guys' problems will be all worked out. At least, that's what I told the producer.

Amy: You do realize this isn't an episode-

Ian: It's a chapter-

Amy: And it isn't a season-

Ian: It's a story-

Amy and Ian: And there's no producer.

iciclegirl235: See, you guys are bonding already! Now, let's move on.

But Amy and Ian weren't only children

Both of the kids had a brother or a sister

Who were around the same age

But the opposite of each other.

Ian: Well, if the, ahem, producers-

Amy: Technically, it would be script writers.

Ian: Yes, well, okay. If anything, at least the script writers got that all straightened out. Natalie and Daniel-

Amy: It's Dan, my gosh, it must get tiring for someone to keep correcting that...

Ian: Er, fine, then. Natalie and Dan really are the true opposite of one another, Natalie could shop her entire life, while, uh, Dan can't possibly stand a minute of it-

Amy: Actually, he could if it were for baseball cards or ninja gear, though we never let him get it anymore.

Ian: Ah…sure. And Natalie always dresses to impress, while Dan doesn't seem to care much-

Amy: True, but there are times when he gives a little effort. Say, that one school dance they had while that foreign girl Sofia was there. She was very pretty, of course, but didn't speak a word of English-

Ian: Amy, love, would you stop interrupting me?

Amy: Oh, was it bothering you? Silly me. I'm so sorry, Ian.

Ian: It's quite alright, love.

Amy: Oh, and while we're on the topic of what bothers each other, would you mind not calling me love?

Ian: Honestly, I rather would mind. But since you're so particular, I'll stop, darling.

Amy: Maybe you could just stop calling me by anything other than my birth name?

Ian: Maybe…maybe not, dear. You see, I have this thing for certain girls I like, specifically you, and it's to not call them by their real name-

Amy: You like me?

Ian: I-

iciclegirl235: Did you guys hear that? Ian likes Amy! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! But wait, what's this- oh my gosh, what are Natalie and Dan doing over in that corner in the park?

Amy: WHAT?

Ian: WHAT?

What is going on? What exactly are Natalie and Dan doing in that corner of the park (which iciclegirl235 can see because she is a magical being)? Why was Amy mad at Ian before? Did Ian actually admit he likes Amy? Find out next time on: The Poetry Channel- alias The Drama Network!

Last Time's Question: Silver or Gold? And the winner is...silver, with a grand total of 16 votes! Gold only got 9- sorry, gold.

This Time's Question: Fame or Wealth? Ooh, that's a serious one. What will your decisions be?

SOMETHING IMPORTANT

Hey...I hate having to add and extra A/N here, but I think it's kind of important- well, to me it is, at least, bsecause I really like this story. But not to long ago, Cascading Rainbows reviewed me telling me that stories aren't allowed to have script format (thanks again for that :D). And now I feel like sort of an idiot because I think I knew that...at least, I've been here long enough to know that. So anyways, I thought it would be easy, like I could just put quotes around everything and make it better...but it wasn't. Because I'm not really sure how to change it up...and that's why I'm asking you guys. If anyone has any suggestions, ANYTHING, I'd love for you to review or PM me, because I actually like this story and don't want to give it up. However, if nothing works or there are no ideas, I will be taking this down. Yes, I know I sound really desperate- you're probably like, "WTH, why doesn't she does take this fic down already"- but I don't want to lie. I am desperate.

Well, this majorly sucks. But it's okay, because I have a bunch of other 39 Clues fic ideas (cough, and excerpt from the sequel to The Hero, the Bad Guy, and Me is on my profile, cough, I'd love some feedback, COUGH) to make up for this one.

Au Revoir,

iciclegirl235