Sorry it took me a long time getting this posted, reason was work related. I had two presentations in one week and that took some time away from this. I also got stuck on a lot of things in this final chapter. One getting Gibbs and Ziva out of the elevator, don't ask. It took me longer that I thought, and It took me somewhere completely else but who cares this works to. Then I had trouble with the whole McGee thing, still am not completely satisfied but it will do. Anyway enjoy….
Chapter 4
Drunk people tell the truth ?
Tony could tell that Ziva was nervous. The closer they got to NCIS the quieter she became. He gave her a encouraging nudge just before they stepped out the elevator. She was finding her inner strength. She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and step out of the elevator. She could do this, just keep your head up high. Ziva kept saying that mantra inside her head.
Ah, hell who was she kidding. She was frightened. How could she face McGee, Ducky, Abby but most of all Gibbs. Yes, she knew the drill, it wasn't her fault, she could have done nothing to prevent. It had been all about controlling her, it was never about the sex. They had used it to break her and in the end they had succeeded. The therapist she was seeing had told her numerous times and in her head she knew it was the truth but still she could not bear the thought of Gibbs seeing her as a victim, she just couldn't. She just wanted everything to be normal again. She wanted to be Special Agent Ziva David not Ziva the torture victim.
Tony and Ziva entered the bullpen and took their seats. Ziva couldn't bear to look at McGee or Gibbs, she just pretended to be hard at work. So far so good she thought.
"David, gear up. You're with me"
Gibbs walked to the elevator. Ziva swallowed hard trying to get that big lump out of her throat. Ziva and Gibbs stood at opposites ends of the elevator. Neither of them spoke. This was torture in itself and she had enough of it. Ziva flipped the switch.
"About last night.." She looked at her shoes.
"What about last night, David" Gibbs looked at her.
" I wanted to apologize for my behavior and for the fact that I drank too much while doing my job. I also wanted to apologize for whatever I said or did while intoxicated"
Gibbs moved towards her so fast she didn't even have time to react. He lifted her chin and made her look at him.
"Remember my rule, don't apologize it's a sign of weakness, but in your case I don't even want you to think about the fact that you have to apologize about what happened. Ziva, don't ever do that. What ever happened there, when you are ready to talk I'll be here. You decide when, where or what you want to talk about. Got that"
Ziva stared at her boss. She nodded.
Gibbs flipped the switch and the elevator came to live again but not for long. Ziva once again flipped the switch.
"They broke me. They used Aziz as a tool, he didn't mind raping the Jew so they let him do whatever he wanted. The others …" She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. " I knew it would come to that eventually but when it did I still wasn't ready for it. The physical pain I could handle but to have him do those things to me over and over again was too much so I in the end I talked. I broke."
There was deafening silence in the elevator. Gibbs didn't speak for a long time but when he did he surprised Ziva.
"Can I touch you"
She nodded. His arms came around her had he gave her a hug and he held on to her when she broke once again. She cried until she had nothing left inside of her. She cried for all that had happened, the loss of her mother, sister and brother. The torture she endured while in captivity but most of all the loss of her homeland, the fact that she could never again set foot on Israeli soil as long as her father was alive. Never being able to visit Tali's grave again or her mothers.
After what seemed like ages she stopped crying simply because she had nothing left. Gibbs still held her. He stroked her hair like a father would have done if this was his biological daughter. He knew she needed it.
It took a while to get her act back together but when they leave the elevator no one notices a slightly disheveled former Mossad Assassin with red rimmed eyes.
In the afternoon when they come back she's back in full force like nothing happened. McGee however is not, he doesn't know how to act around her, doesn't know what to say. He is at a loss, he feels he should say something about what was said last night, shouldn't he. The rest of the afternoon McGee stumbles around Ziva. He is overly protective of her, brings her jasmine tea with just a little bit of honey in it. Opens doors for her, constantly asks her if she needs anything. He is basically doing everything to make her work life just that little bit easier because he doesn't know how to act normal around her anymore and it driving Ziva insane.
When McGee heads for the men's room Tony gave Ziva a big wink and followed McGee into the bathroom.
"What are you doing"
"What am I doing, I am in the toilet, what do you think I am going to do"
" Ziva"
"Oh"
"Oh, what. Can't you see you are hurting her more with the way you are acting around her right now. She doesn't what you to see her as a victim."
Tony could tell he was hurting McGee right now with his angry words.
"He, McGee just treat her the way you've always have done. Nice and polite but always ready to run when she gets to close, cause she still frightens you"
"I don't know if I can do that. All I can think about is what she said last night and it makes me wish we had .…KILLED THAT SON OF BITCH with our bare hands"
Tony was surprised that McGee was capable of such raw violent emotion but he understood. He had those similar feelings during last night when he watched Ziva sleep but somewhere during the night he decided that Ziva didn't need that kind of behavior.
Tony grabbed McGee´s shoulder.
"I understand, but that is not what she needs right now OK. So pull yourself together and be the McGee you always are."
"Alright, I try"
Tony gave him a head slap. "No, you don't try you just do it or I'll have Abby leave no forensic evidence when I am done with you"
"Stop hitting me"
"I'll hit you whenever I want and where ever I want"
Tony gave McGee another slap on the head. McGee hit back and before the boys knew it they were in all out fight. McGee grabbed Tony' s tie and tried to get the upper hand but he couldn't since Tony was holding on to his nose like there was no tomorrow. All of a sudden both men were dragged out of the men's room by the ears.
Tony and McGee looked up and saw Gibbs and Ziva standing there. Tony and McGee were rubbing their ears trying to make the dull ache go away.
"What is going on" Ziva demanded to know, last night had been a disaster but if they were fighting because of her that was even worse.
"well, you see I was trying to get McGee to accept Abby's invitation to BrainMatter, but as usual he has some lame excuse. He is going to write Deep Six novel number 3. So on Abby's behave I talked him out of it and now he is going with her to the concert tonight. Here you go McNoBrainer, the tickets to tonight's concert"
McGee was not saying anything. He accepted to the tickets without protest.
"I am…well..huh …I'll go get Abby"
McGee left the rest of the team in a hurry. They heard him mutter something along the lines of getting earplugs before leaving for the concert.
Gibbs turned to face Ziva.
"McGee needs some time, he doesn't know how to handle an Ziva who is so brutally honest with her emotions like you were last night. He needs an Ziva who threatens him with a paperclip or tries to kill him with a straw. Give him time." With those words Gibbs left to two standing in the bullpen.
Ziva smiled. "You got him to a concert with Abby"
Tony smiled "Yup, it was either him or us. So you owe me a movie night which I'll collect straight away. My place tonight, bring food"
"Tony, do you think it's a good idea to try and kill McGee tomorrow. I would not want him to feel unsure around me"
Tony put his arm around her, smiled and said "That's my girl"
The end…
AN I just want to get this of my chest. I hate author's note as a chapter. Why the –bleep- can you people not tell a ' problem' in a previous chapter or in a just posted chapter. I get all excited when I see a new chapter of a story-line I really love reading only to find a view lines telling they will not write anymore if they don't get a x amount of reviews. Crap… Ok that's of my chest or whatever you say. As you can tell it was bugging me for a long time. I am not normally such a outspoken person but this.