By Kuroi Tenshi
Part 13
The cool evening breeze caressed his face and he closed his eyes briefly, recalling the times spent at his sanctuary with the wind against his face feeling just like this. With the images that resurfaced, it was inevitable that she was in some, many in fact, of them.
Relena laughing at something Heero said, or at Heero himself. The young woman glaring at him from the cliff's edge as he refused to communicate with her, as she had invited. Relena with her long sooty lashes casting shadows on fair skin as her eyes closed during and after he kissed her.
Why couldn't he get her off his mind?
He tried. By god, he did! But whenever he was starting to feel confident he was on the road to completely eliminating her from his system, fleeting images of her would slip by, preventing him from reaching his goal: a Relena-free life.
He knew he had every reason to justify the need to cause bodily harm (desperately ignoring the fact she was a girl, therefore he shouldn't). She made a fool out of him!
It certainly explained the many similarities between them; the answer to why they seemed inseparable in his mind was revealed: because Reynald and Relena were inseparable. They were one and the same!
His face warmed with embarrassment. She must've been laughing at him all those times they were together. And to think about the agonies he went through trying to choose between.
Not to mention the distress caused by determining his sexual orientation.
She must've had one hell of a kick playing him a fool. And to think he thought she was different from the other people he met.
He believed every word—no, lie—she said. He even worried about him and his so-called trauma with pools. He saved him from James—the pompous jerk!—and offered him comfort when her brain was muddled with alcohol. And what thank you did he receive?
But she offered the comfort nobody else could give, didn't she? a nagging voice in his head hissed.
He didn't need that comfort, Heero mentally retorted. He was doing fine until her. He has his sanctuary and that was all that he needed. Though said sanctuary offered no peace right now since it only reminded him of the times spent with Relena. But that was beside the point. He doesn't need her, now or later, nor did he need her before.
He just needed to erase the feeling of warmth brought by the memory of her hand in his weeks ago. And make his heart return to its normal beating rate whenever he recalled the times of having his lips on hers.
The door of the room suddenly banged open and his roommate walked in. Heero scowled as he walked away from the open window and sat on his bed. If Duo started on him again, he was throwing the braided boy outside the window. He had been on his case ever since the night Relena left, telling him to give the girl a chance to explain.
Give her a chance to tell them more lies? Hell no!
"Why didn't you come down for dinner?"
"Not hungry" was the dry reply. Few seconds of silence with Heero trailing after his friend with his eyes. Duo was humming something and Heero noticed there was a bit more spring on his steps than usual.
"You high or something?"
The swimmer flashed his a "V" sign and shrugged. "Just giddy with love, Heero." He went to his study desk and produced something from his pocket. He gingerly set the silver frame and stared at the picture with big violet eyes. "Aw, Hilde."
Heero squinted, but couldn't see with Duo's back covering his view of the desk. "What do you have there?"
"Oh, this?" Duo asked. "Just a little gift Quatre handed me at dinner. Dorothy was nice enough to give me a picture of my beloved Hilde."
Dinner was finally over. Relena wasn't really hungry, and she doubted she could keep anything down with the way the bullfrogs were making a racket in her stomach. Thankfully she managed to swallow a few forkfuls to satisfy Hilde, who Milliardo assigned as his sister's CHISEH (Chief Supervisor of Eating Habits).
She grabbed her keys from the desk and rapped on the closed bathroom door. "Hilde? Dorothy agreed to help me with my math assignment. Don't wait up. I know it'll take me forever to get it right."
"Dorothy? I'd rather ask Cathy if I were you. But yeah, go on. I'll keep Cathy company; Dianne, her new roommate's off to her friends' room so she's all alone," Hilde shouted from the other side.
"Yup, bye," she locked the door behind her. Her trip to the sixth floor was uneventful. Dorothy's room was located on the top floor, which was usually bigger than most rooms. She didn't have a roommate because Dorothy was sure she would only experience the never-ending urge to bonk her roommate with a thick dictionary (which was why the principal recommended it as well, basing from the incident in sixth grade when Dorothy locked her old roommate out of the room). She knocked on the door.
"It's open," Dorothy lazily drawled on from the other side.
Relena delicately stepped in. Dorothy's room always amazed her. Her exquisite taste for elegance mixed with her passion for adventure showed in her room. Her parents paid extra to allow her to paint the walls a frosted gold hue and the thick beige carpet was soft beneath her feet. Most of the furniture was gold, or near its color that simply stated cool elegance, just like Dorothy. And there were also several abstract paintings, which Dorothy seemed to be fond of as of late, on her walls.
She seated herself on the couch and waited for Dorothy to finish whatever she was doing in her Corner. The blonde knew that was where she kept her "military stuff." Nobody was allowed to go near that place unless given explicit permission. To go within ten feet uninvited was DOOM, with all-caps.
Dorothy motioned for her to get closer, she did. She handed Relena a headset and gestured at the seat next to her.
When Relena hesitated, Dorothy rolled her eyes. "Well?"
"Won't you explain it to me first?" she asked. "I'm not exactly a guru with all this intelligence stuff. I'm a civilian," she tried to joke, trying to dissipate the mounting nervousness.
She sighed. "I gave Quatre something before they left; remember me walking with him to the van? I told him to give it to Duo after dinner. And if all proceeds to plan, they're just about finishing dinner now—" she paused, distracted by something she heard from her own set of headphone. "The bug's been delivered," she said.
"Bug?"
"Yes, bug, as in little device used for eavesdropping." When Relena still hesitated, Dorothy shook her head. "Alright, let's forget about it. I'll turn the transmitter off." She made a move to flick on the switch on a strange-looking box with numerous wires and cords at the table, but Relena grabbed her hand.
"No!" When Dorothy stared at her she blushed. "I…I wanna listen." Her friend tapped the device on her head and Relena put the headphones on. Immediately she was treated to Duo's loud laughter.
"See you tomorrow, Cat!" Duo said, still chuckling. He was humming to himself, apparently on his way somewhere. Keys jingling, then a door opening. "Why didn't you come down for dinner?"
"Not hungry." Relena's heart leapt at the sound of that voice. Heero! She adjusted the headphones and strained to hear well.
Heero stared at his friend. It was bad enough that Duo was too cheerful and loud for his own good, but Duo "in love" was worse. Duo was even more cheerful and louder than usual, not to mention he was cheesy to the extreme. "Forget I asked."
"Hey, Quatre's wondering if you're planning to come to the ball. It's on Friday next week," Duo grinned.
"They finally agreed on something?" Heero asked, his voice with a tinge of amusement. The stories Quatre narrated about the previous meetings had always been a source of entertainment. He could just imagine Relena's frustration dealing with Paolo de Jules.
Relena. Ugh. Must not think of her…
"They agreed to have a masked ball. You can come as whatever you like," Duo replied, polishing the frame with his handkerchief.
"A masked ball? That's just like her. I'll bet you anything it was her idea. Dressing up and pretending is Relena's forte, if you remember."
Duo frowned, pausing from his task. "You're still angry about that. I explained the gist of what happened, didn't I? She didn't want to lie. She was left with no choice."
"Why are you taking her side? She lied to you too."
"Relena, Reynald—it doesn't matter what name she uses or what gender she poses. She's still my friend. I didn't befriend her before because I thought she was a guy. Nor did you like her because she was one. It's the person you like, not the gender or the name. Her being a girl makes no difference. She's still the same person."
"The same, lying, conniving person, yes," Heero shook his head. "Did she tell you about the fun she had introducing herself as Relena the Girl to me at the cliff? She must've been laughing about that. I was stupid not to have realized the truth after meeting the real Relena and spending so much time with Reynald."
"You weren't exactly paying attention," Duo reasoned. "And yes, she did tell me about those night encounters. She also told me of the times she wanted to confess everything, but didn't know how to start. And let's not forget the fear of your reaction."
"My reaction?" Heero asked incredulously. "Now she's holding me responsible for lying?"
"Hey, give her a break. I would've been scared shitless of how you'd react if I were in her shoes. Look at you; you're not exactly taking all this well. You're angry."
"Angry? I'm not just angry I'm livid! What reaction do you expect when you've been made a fool? Because of the feelings she made me feel, I started thinking I was gay—then bisexual after I met the girl! Do you know how fucked up the feeling is?"
Duo shook his head. "I understand what you're saying, but she didn't mean for you to feel this way—"
"And how exactly did she want me to feel then?"
The braided boy ignored his roommate and continued. "She's been honest with you except for a few things. Her feelings were real, that much is true. Can't you understand how you're hurting her the way you've been refusing to talk to her?"
"So now it's my fault again that I'm not exactly jumping with joy after the lies and deception. Something must really be wrong with me."
"Lena knew you were supposed to be at the committee instead of Paolo. Do you realize what it must've seemed to her?"
"She got the message then."
"What's a few white lies between feelings that run deep?" Duo asked. "I've seen you with her. She makes you happy, and you damn well know she does. But you're letting your pigheadedness get the better of you. You like her, don't you?"
"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's lies, Duo. You know that," Heero replied.
"But you like her, don't you?" Duo insisted.
Heero ignored the little voice in his head and steeled his features. "I liked her."
Relena blinked several times, willing the bothersome tears away. She deserved this. She knew she did. But it still hurt.
Dorothy glanced at her friend beside her and slowly removed the headphones. Relena hadn't moved a muscle since she cut transmission few seconds ago. She gingerly placed a hand on her shoulder.
She turned to Dorothy and braved a small smile. "At least I know how he really feels," she said, her voice cracking.
Dorothy shook her head. She felt bad for Relena. Though she made sure the girl knew what she was agreeing to when she told her about the bug, it still didn't help lessen the pain she was feeling. She knew that Relena, at the bottom of her heart, was hoping to hear something good from Heero that would give her even just a sliver of hope.
"It's okay, Lena, you can cry," she said quietly. "Let it out."
Relena stared at her for a few more seconds before wordlessly leaning on her shoulder and closing her eyes, quiet sobs racking her body. It was over.
~*~*~*~
The past week passed by with Relena completely throwing herself to the preparations. Her waking hours were divided between school and the committee. The others were startled by their friend's sudden dedication, but Dorothy knew better.
What happened in her room nights ago was kept strictly between the two of them. After Relena left her room that night, she seemed to resemble more and more a walking doll without proper nutrition and rest. Dorothy was worried about Relena.
She woke up early every morning to have time helping people with their costumes and slept late every night doing homework. She knew the girl was trying to distract herself by keeping busy, but she was overdoing it. She rarely spared a few minutes to fill her empty stomach and when she did, it drove Hilde to lunacy because what she ate was hardly enough to last her more than a few minutes before her intestines started eating each other.
Enduring no more of her friend's determined path to La-la-la-Land, Dorothy cornered Relena after dinner in her and Hilde's room. "Lena, we have to talk."
Relena's brows furrowed. "Oh, Dorothy, I'm sorry, but I'm in a hurry. I promised Allele I'd help her with her dog costume. Hilde's already there. They're waiting for me."
"They'll manage with you being a few minutes late," the longhaired woman assured. "Relena, listen to me. Stop doing this to yourself. You're not helping. Do you think it would make things better between you and Heero by living the life of an undernourished skeleton?" When her friend merely looked down, she sighed. "Look at you. You've got circles under your eyes. Your skin's chalky and you lost a few pounds since the last time I saw you."
"You just saw me at the dinning hall."
Dorothy smiled despite herself. Trust Relena to at least keep her smart mouth. "Lena, you're spiraling towards self-destruction."
Relena stared at her. "Spiraling to self-destruction? Dorothy, have you been hanging around Sally lately?"
The other colored and Relena laughed. The senior, Sally Po was known to be something close to a feminist with no qualms showing her activist-side. Lately, Sally had been mixing literature with vigilantism. Relena understood her sentiments exactly, but she couldn't help but be a bit startled with the speeches Sally makes every now and then. However, you have to give her credit for creativity. Not too many people who use literary tools can get away with it.
She shook her head. "Oh, Dorothy. I appreciate the concern, but I'm okay. I realized I should move on. I tried explaining, but Heero wouldn't listen. I've done my part. It's up to him now. I have to stop beating myself over it. It's his turn now."
"But the way you've been the past week…"
"Let's just say that was my way of thinking. My head's clearer now, much clearer. And I owe you for that. Without Heero's…input, I would probably still worry myself to death with the possibility that he might show up at the ball. But it's a given I'll be there. Let him handle that."
Dorothy stared at her. "Wow, Relena. I didn't think that's how it's been. It seemed to me you were…"
"Spiraling towards self-destruction?" she supplied with a smile. "I guess that was how it started. But it got me thinking. Is Heero beating himself over what happened the way I am? No. He's happy and content blaming and hating me. Well, too damn bad. I'm done blaming and hating myself."
"You sure you're okay?" Dorothy couldn't help but ask. Relena made sense. She was back to the usual no-nonsense, sensible, logical, Heero-less Relena. But she wasn't so sure it was a good thing. She liked the Relena with Heero (without the Heero hating her part, of course).
She nodded. "Yes. Thanks for the concern, really appreciate it. But I gotta run. I can't feel too assured, leaving Hilde with a pair of shears." She led the taller girl out with her. She locked the door and turned to Dorothy. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow?"
Dorothy nodded. "Tomorrow. I've got my own costume to finish anyway. Have fun."
"With Hilde armed with the shears, I doubt that," Relena joked before making a beeline for the stairs. She had to hurry if she wanted to save Allele's dog costume.
Tbc
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Another short part. Sorry. But I wanted to keep the story until part 15, which would be the end. However, I promise the last two parts will be filled with action (not the smash-'em-diss-'em action, mind you) between Heero and Relena. But inspiration for that still needs to hit me. I'm being too distracted again. Gomen. Anyway, I hope you liked this part enough to read on. ^_^