A/N.. Hey guys, ok so I'm back with a little fic for you. This is just to say a big thank you to you all for reading 'Broken'. My first and original 'Marathon' fic! This one is gonna be a one-shot I'm thinking. It's been one of the things that has been floating around in my head for ages. No idea how it's going to turn out but we'll see. The writing style is completely different, I'm keeping it light (sort of) and adding a bit of humour here and there. It's just to get me back into writing really so don't lynch me for it ok lol. Shout out to my girl Jen and of course Rox and Summer and you other special ones who were there throughout....you know who you are! Much loves! I miss our chats girls so review bitches! hehe =D
Buffy sat tapping her fingernails against her desk, the glaring light from her computer screen making her tired green eyes water slightly. Refreshing the screen one more time she leant back and stretched her aching back, long blonde hair falling down her shoulders.
'No New Messages'
Buffy let out a slight growl of frustration and turned the un-cooperative machine off. Her brow knitted and she stood to resume her earlier pacing, getting lost in her thoughts. The feelings she had been having for the past two weeks were making her wary, worried and probably some other descriptive 'w' words I can't think of right now.
Something was wrong. She knew it within every fibre of her being. For the last two weeks something had been off. It had taken a week for it to finally register in her mind but once it had, the pestering feeling wouldn't leave her alone.
Angel
The feelings wouldn't leave her alone because there was something wrong with Angel. Giving into her obviously deranged nature she resumed her seat at the computer, flicking it back on.
What's the definition of insanity? Repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Yet she sat, diligently waiting for it to load. A few taps of the keyboard and she had logged into her second e-mail account.
'No New Messages'
Refusing to let her tears of frustration fall, her eyes scanned the list of previously read emails.
Inbox:
angel_
angel_
angel_
The list went on but Buffy picked the very oldest message, double clicking and eagerly waiting for it to load. Her eyes scanned the near memorized mail, laughing at the basic structure and typos. Angel had not been computer friendly when they had started this form of communication.
After Buffy's visit to LA to follow Faith, the complete distance between her and Angel had just about killed her already battered heart. She was more devastated by the gaping abyss that had opened up between her and Angel than she was about Riley sleeping with Faith in her body. That still made her cringe, in fact the mere thought of having his hands on her skin at all made her cringe, and wonder what the hell she had been thinking taking her trip into dullsville.
Oh that's right, she hadn't been thinking. Her friends had been doing that for her.
Shaking her head at the mere notion that Riley could have possibly been able to replace Angel, she thought about the events that had led to this set-up. She had rung Angel the week after the whole Faith fiasco and had broken down on the phone, quickly arranging a place to meet, they had both sped to a spot between LA and Sunnydale.
"I can't do this any more Angel. I can't carry on pretending everything's okay and that I'm not wondering what you're doing every second of every day"
"I know Buffy, I know. I have to physically stop myself coming back here everyday. Not knowing if you're alright"
"I'm not alright Angel. I'm not alright without you. I told you Always and I meant it"
The meeting was emotional, bittersweet and just what they needed. How far apart they had grown by trying to survive the separation was almost as hard as seeing each other without being together.
A plan to stay in touch via e-mail and mobile phone was settled on. Buffy had a second phone as well as both having second e-mail accounts. On average they shared weekly phone-calls and the e-mails varied depending on whatever big-bad they were facing or how much they were struggling to cope.
Once her and Angel were communicating again, her and Riley never stood a chance and it didn't take long for Riley to notice. At first he had acted livid, wanting to head down to LA to confront Angel. Buffy had been having none of it and used a simple and effective action. She sat on him and pinned him down, she had asked him what was going on, why he was acting strangely. They had talked for hours, really talked like they hadn't before, mostly about Riley and the fact that he was gay. He had been battling in his own head for years and as soon as he started with the Initiative he knew he had to suppress thoughts and feelings and so he had started things with Buffy. He had heard the other guys mention her and decided to go for it.
To say Buffy had been stunned would have been an understatement but it had been the start of a beautiful friendship. He was the only one who knew about her continued communications with Angel and whilst he had his reservations, he kept her secret. Just as she kept his. They kept up the pretence of dating, especially for her friends and his Initiative team. It wasn't much of a hardship, he was the only one Buffy could be herself in front of and vice versa. She missed him now he had left, thankfully taking the initiative with him.
One wine-filled chat-fest in particular had made Buffy laugh, cry and cringe all in the space of ten minutes. Riley thought Angel was cute. Angel had spluttered out some words of discontent and then been speechless for a full five minutes when she told him. He had then preceded to argue about the fact that he was described as 'cute'.
"Cute? He said I was cute? Not handsome or manly or I don't know, even hot? Or whatever it is you say nowadays?"
"Angel? Really that's the part you're focusing on? I just told you my boyfriend is gay and thinks the love of my life is cute?"
"What can I say? The ladies want me, the guys want me".
Buffy had laughed so hard she fell off the bed. Now every time she spoke to Angel whilst Riley was there he went bright red and left the room. It was sweet in a disturbing kind of way.
Buffy pulled herself from her memories and clicked open the second to newest message. You could tell how much more at ease here, Angel was using a computer, he had the lingo, the gadgets and little emoticons down pat in this mail. Her eyes quickly skimmed over words that made her heart ache.
I miss you.
I love you.
My life has meaning because you're in it.
I wish I could hold you in my arms.
Blinking back tears she went back to select the most recent message. This was different in comparison to the last. It reflected his mood from their phone call the week previous to the mail. It was distant, distracted, like it was out of obligation. He said he had been feeling different towards Cordelia. Like something was trying to draw him to her. There was no 'I love you' or 'I miss you' in this mail. Just signed, as ever, 'Always, Angel'.
She resolutely refused to believe that he had replaced her with Cordelia, however it was the fear of that that had her waiting another two weeks for some form of contact from Angel.
I watched Buffy lay on her bed, staring blankly at the wall and sighed. My sister had been like this pretty much for the last week. She kept up the pre-tense when the others were around, getting up to get her to school, work and slaying but it was morose and robotic. I knew exactly why, it had been roughly a month since she had any form of contact with Angel and it was killing her.
I almost laughed when I thought of what Buffy would do if she knew I had looked through her room and computer. Really, didn't she know that was a little sisters job? For some reason I hadn't outed her to the Scoobies either. I'd always had a soft spot for Angel and a bit of hero worship for him. Plus it had been me who had heard Buffy cry herself to sleep night after night when he left, even when Riley came on the scene. My sister is my idle and I noticed the difference in her when she became happier and more of her old self. I noticed how her and Riley's hands separated as soon as they left our friends and I picked up on the subtle little digs about Riley's sexuality. I'm really not as naïve as they all think, in this case it works to my advantage.
And Ok yes, I might have done a little eavesdropping from time to time. It was getting ridiculous, Buffy's dreams were terrifying enough as it is but at the moment all I could here was her calling out for Angel, she knew he was in trouble and hurting and it was hurting her too.
Enough was enough.
"Buffy? BUFFY?" Dawn shouted at Buffy, breaking her stare as Buffy slowly turned her head towards her with a sigh.
"What is it Dawn?"
"For god sake, just go to L.A., find Angel and snap yourself out of this funk your in"
Buffy slowly got up from the bed to face Dawn. "You don't know what your talking about Dawn".
Dawn crossed her arms across her chest and quirked her eyebrow in a very Buffy-esque way. "Oh really? So I Don't know that you and Riley were pretty much always just friends because he decided to take a little visit to the sausage shop and I don't know that you and Angel have been calling and e-mailing for over a year and I don't know that you haven't heard from him in about a month?!"
Buffy stared at Dawn unblinkingly for a full minute in shock, her quick brain processing everything she just heard.
Dawn gave her a minute and then grew a little concerned. "Erm, Buffy? A-are you ok?"
"Did you….did you just say…a visit to the sausage shop?" Buffy spluttered out.
"Maybe" Dawn blushed and looked away briefly. "That's not the point, I always knew he wasn't for you. The fact is you need to go to L.A.".
"Wait a minute! You've been snooping through my stuff!"
"God Buffy, did you only just realise th-" Dawn was cut off as Buffy started heading towards her, she turned and broke out into a full run away from her and the deadly look on her face. "BUFFY! Mom, MOM, MOOOOM! Wait, god Buffy I'm sorry. I'm your little sister, it's what I do"
Buffy grabbed a hold of Dawn's arm and turned her round to face her. "Dawn I can't believe you would invade my privacy-"
"He could be in trouble Buffy"
Dawns softly spoken words stopped Buffy's rant and the energy seemed to drain right out of her. "I know. I can feel it, there's something wrong but I don't know what. I'm dreaming of him but it's dark and I can't find him. I'm calling out to him Dawn and I just can't see him" Dawn grabbed Buffy into a hug and let her sister cry.
"Don't let the others hold you back Buffy, or your insecurities. He loves you and you love him. That's all that matters. He's in trouble and you're hurting him and you by not going to him"
"What about Cordelia?"
"What about that bitch?"
"Dawn!"
"Sorry, it's just, come on Buffy. She can't have changed that much, not really. He's lonely, he's missing you and she's the only link to you he has. He's a 150 year old vampire Buffy not a 22 year old boy. Are you really gonna let Queen blah take your man? Muscle in on the love of your life! And whilst we're at it, why does he get to decide that you can't be together. The guy was bought back from hell and he can't find the key to a little curse? Pfft, screams insecurities and suffering complex to me".
"Dawn!"
"What?!"
"When did you get to be so smart and grown up?". Buffy grabbed a bag and started packing clothes.
Dawn shrugged and laughed. "Must run in the family". As Buffy grabbed a second bag for weapons Dawn shoved some slightly nicer…provocative clothing in the first bag….Just in case.
Both the Summer's girls looked up in shock at a cough from the doorway.
"Mom" Buffy managed to squeak out. Joyce stepped into the room, hiding her smile at the matching look of shock and worry on both her daughter's faces. She decided to leave out just how much she had heard.
"Don't let the others stop you from going for what you want Buffy. You don't owe them anything and they can make their own decisions and mistakes but not yours. You're the slayer for crying out loud, you save the world weekly, tell them to back off".
"Yeh, go Mom!" Dawn laughed out and went to hug the eldest Summers. Joyce took Buffy's hand and dropped her car keys in before squeezing them warmly.
"I love you Buffy, you have put everyone else before you for so long, it's time to fight for what you want. You wouldn't be you if you didn't go and try and help him. He would do the same for you and I would be disappointed if you don't go. You claim to love this man Buffy, go prove it and prove me wrong that he's not right for you. I miss my daughter".
The family shared a long hug before Buffy smiled and bolted down the stairs. Grabbing her jacket she headed out the front door.
And crashed straight into Xander.
"Geez Buff, what's the rush? Or did you just want to get up close and personal with the Xan man?"
"Really not, I'm in a hurry Xander, I've gotta be somewhere. What did you want?"
"Nothing major, no wigging. Just to hang out, I'll come with you". He went to walk to the passenger side.
"No! Sorry I mean, you can't Xander, you have work tomorrow and I don't know when I'll be back" Buffy bit her lip nervously then started a mantra in her head. You're the slayer, be strong, be strong.
"What? Well where are you going? What about your duties? Weren't you going to ask one of us first?"
"Ask? Ask one of you? One of you? Are you kidding me Xander? Are you my mother? Or my asshole of a Father? No! Just an asshole. And as for my duties, I'm gonna give Spike a call. He seems to be one of the only ones I can trust around here at the moment. What does that tell you?"
"That you hang around with idiots pet, that's what" Spike tried not to let it show how Buffy's words effected him and strolled up to the argument.
"Spike? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"Just fancied a stroll and thought I felt like you might need a little help"…And a little phone call from Dawn might have had something to do with it.
"Right, well anyway, I'm going out of town for a few days. I need to you keep an eye on things, especially Dawn. Not too close an eye though Spike, we had this conversation. 18 remember, 18" Buffy swung herself into the car with a hard look at Spike.
"I know I know, god Blondie you do me head in. Say hi to the old man for me will ya?"
Xander had stood completely confused. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?" he snapped out.
"I've got something I should have done a long time ago, it doesn't concern you and Spike is covering me here. It's not like there had always been a slayer here you know. I love you, you're my friend but that's it. You can't control my life and I make my own decisions. If you don't support me or can't then you're not the friend you should be. Spike and Dawn and even my Mom will fill you in on the rest. I might see you soon but I'm not holding my breathe, I've tried and tried to get through to you and nothing changes. Do you know what the definition of insanity is?".
Buffy backed out the driveway, took one last glance back and gunned the engine.
She was going to get Angel.
Aghhhh ok ok it somehow became a 2-shot????? don't hurt me. I don't know if I like this fic or not....let me know if I should carry on or if I've lost my touch :(
I have to say tho it is good to be writing again, I've missed it, and it's nice to keep the Angel/Buffy dream alive! All these new pop culture vampire impersonators drowning out the genious that is BtVS is a little heartbreaking. Not mentioning anynames who have suddenly switched to the darkside....lets just say it rhymes with Benna!! Lol jokes hun I love ya. If any of you are interested in The Vampire Diaries, angelsblueeyed girl has a fantastic Damon/Elena story going that you should check out. I've only seen one episode of the show and thought it was pants, I do however love the Damon/Elena storyline and think Damon is sexy as hell! Anyway, getting off track. As always check my profile for amazing authors.
And review guys! You know we love you for it xxxxxxxxxxxx