Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or Feehan's work.

Chapter 7: Damn.

Kaoru was unsure for how long she held the baby, it could have been minutes or hours because time meant little. There was a peaceful sensation while holding baby Miaco, one that just felt right, as if, she were meant to be here in Kaoru's arms.

Miaso looked up at Kaoru, smiled, made the equivalent of a laugh and lightly tugged on Kaoru's hair. The action made Kaoru pull her closer or risk looking the strands entirely. She had a good grip for one so young that was for sure. She began rocking her back and forth in a soothing rhythm. Smiling she put one of her figures into the babies hand and watched as she brought her hand just under her head.

Miaso's brain waves were different from most humans. Not Carpathian but not human either. "What are you hmm?" Kaoru cooed the baby getting a deep gaze and a smile in response.

"Special isn't she?" Megumi asked knowing that Kaoru undoubtedly could sense the difference between this baby and any other.

Kaoru put the baby back in her crib with a nodded to Megumi's question, "Yes, it seems that we have a mystery on our hands."

"I examined her when they first brought her in and found that her skeletal system is different and yet still very close to those of other babies." Megumi sat down and for the first time Kaoru noticed just how tired and drawn Megumi looked. She must have been pushing herself too hard once again.

"Why do you look so tired? Surely you haven't been pushing yourself too hard in surgery have you?" When Megumi looked a little sheepish Kaoru pressed for more information, "Megumi! Were you out healing the Earth again?" Kaoru asked on their private channel knowing that anyone could be listening.

Megumi was a great healer and that didn't just apply to people and Carpathians, it also applied to the Earth. Whenever the Earth was in pain Megumi sensed it like it was her own and she was never satisfied until she healed it. This took great amounts of energy and often left her feeling drained. It started around her hundredth birthday and had only grown stronger with each passing century. Now Megumi could heal large parts of the land and sea with just her singing alone. Often times when she walked bare foot life sprang up when she stepped.

"Weren't you concerned about the baby?" Megumi was avoiding the question but Kaoru knew when to back off. It wasn't her place to chastise Megumi and if she was really tired Sanosuke wouldn't have let her stay here working. It was sexist and pigheaded but Kaoru had seen the power of the lifemate bond force Megumi into going home when Sano insisted on it. Megumi told her once that it was like fighting investable cables, when he commanded something and invoked the bond there was simply nothing that she could do about it.

"So tell me about Miaco." Kaoru said trying to show that she was giving up the fight.

This pleased Megumi and she smiled warmly at Kaoru, "Well from what I can tell she's different." Ever aware that someone could be watching them on a camera Megumi switched communication forms, "She seems to have a much more flexible spine than normal people have. And she seems to have a thicker skull. I didn't want to run any blood test here because I wasn't sure what would show up but I intend to do my own test at home away from prying eyes."

Kaoru nodded and looked off to the side in thought.

"The baby will be fine. Now tell me what has you so downcast."

Sighing Kaoru figured that after growing up together it was only natural that Megumi would notice how sad she was. The only probable was that she wasn't really sure she wanted to talk about it but maybe Megumi was the perfect person to talk to about it, "When does your sift end? I could use some girl time right about now."

"Well I get off in 20 minutes. Why don't I come find you when I'm done here?"

"That sounds nice thank you." Kaoru got up and after saying her good-byes she left hoping to avoid Kenshin for just a little longer.

The spring she used to love so much had long since dried up and had been paved over so she went to her new favorite place just outside of town. It was just coming to an end in summer so the grass was long and the ground was cool but the air was still warm. Coming out to this place was nice though because it was surrounded by trees and no one was around for miles. Megumi would have no problem finding her though with their blood bond.

Kaoru hadn't been waiting long when she saw Megumi flying near her in the form of an owl. She landed gracefully and lightly walked over to where Kaoru was lying down.

"So Kenshin is back it seems." Megumi looked over to Kaoru gauging her reaction and wasn't surprised to see Kaoru's lips tighten just the slightest bit proving that her assumption about what was bothering Kaoru correct.

"Yes; for now anyway." Kaoru knew she was being passive aggressive but she hurt too much to be a sensible adult right now.

Megumi lied down next to her and gazed up into the stars, "He's you're lifemate isn't he?"

"No." Megumi raised her eyebrow at her, "Ok, well maybe yes maybe no." Kaoru sighed and shook her head. Why was this so hard to talk about? Didn't she want to talk to Megumi about this earlier?

Megumi chuckled knowing that Kaoru was having a hard time talking about what was really bothering her, "Well is he the other half your soul?"

Kaoru flinched, "Well yes technically."

"Then he's your lifemate." Like that was the whole story.

A surge of anger washed over Kaoru, "He didn't come back for me! I waited night after night for him to come back and he never did! And now that he's back he wants to change my whole life around and yet he doesn't even remember me!" Kaoru's face was hot and red she was embarrassed to be this angry but she couldn't help it. She knew after meeting him that he was the other half of her soul and he didn't. Ok maybe she didn't right away but by the second week of grieving from his absence she figured it out. And where was he? Probably off chasing vampires and women.

Megumi remained silent digesting what Kaoru said. "So you're upset that you loved him and that he didn't notice you?"

Kaoru looked over to see if she was mocking her. When she saw that there wasn't any judgment in her eyes, in fact, maybe there was even sorrow she answered, "I wouldn't say that I loved him right away but, yes, there was a connection and he didn't remember me."

"I get that. I really do. I'm sorry Kaoru."

"You do? But Sano's loved you forever how can you possibly understand?"

Megumi smiled but it never reached her eyes, "Yes well I know that now but for centuries I watched as he was with woman after woman and never so much as noticed me. I would get so jealous and would act out by trying to flirt with other men to get his attention. He nearly killed any man I got even slightly close to which would annoy me since he was out night after night with other women. It wasn't until later that I realized I loved him and even longer before he claimed me."

It was Kaoru's turn to be thoughtful. She knew all of this of course, how could she not after living with them all this time, but she had always just assumed they would work things out eventually. "I'm sorry. I always just figured you two would work things out so I didn't really put much thought into how you must have felt all these years."

"But don't you see Kaoru? We did but only after he claimed as his lifemate six months ago. Once he did and we started talking I found out that he hadn't actually been with all those women. I found out that he just wanted me to think so. Don't get me wrong, he had been with other women but it wasn't ever fulfilling. When a Carpathian male is with anyone other than his lifemate it isn't satisfying. So he's been walking around with a hard on for centuries." Megumi chuckled at this.

"Then, if he knew he loved you then why didn't he just say so years ago?" Kaoru may have been asking Megumi this in context to their relationship but really it was the question that has been haunting her since that fateful night.

"Well he thought he was sick in the head for feeling the way he did about someone he raised as his sister all these years. He thought that there must have been something wrong with him. But don't you see Kaoru? If he had just been honest with me and vice versa we could have been happy years ago!" Megumi sat up and looked down at Kaoru trying to communicate the importance of this with her eyes.

The deep sorrow was still weighing her down but she knew Megumi was right. The only way she was going to get her answers was to talk with Kenshin. It may not be the answers she wanted but she at least had to try and see where this led them. "Thank you for sharing your story with me Megumi."

"Of course. Now I need to go, my mate is waiting for me." She smiled and hugged Kaoru good-bye, "I'll let you know when I know anything about Miaco ok?"

Kaoru gave her the best smile she could manage and nodded.

She waited a till near dawn just thinking and killing time before getting up and leaving to go back home. Facing Kenshin and talking about all of her feeling was going to be harder than fighting ten vampires. "Damn." It wasn't just talking about her feelings with Kenshin that had her so tied in knots; it was deciding what she wanted too. Did she want a relationship after all this time? Did she want to start her life over with a dominating jerk of a male? Well he has been kind enough to stay out of her head as best he could since she left the hospital. That couldn't have been easy for him especially with her alone and 'unprotected' and obviously upset. "Dammit." He wasn't the problem. She was.

"Well I guess I better get home and face my destiny." Landing in the yard of her house she quickly spotted Kenshin sitting on the porch looking at her apparently deciding to wait for her arrival before going to ground. It looked like this night was going to be just a little longer.

Authors note: Hi everyone! So I have finally updated this story. I know it has been a LONG time but there has been a very good reason for this. I had a miscarriage two years ago and then I got appendicitis so I haven't felt like writing in a long time. I've moved and gotten a new job and I finally feel like I'm ready to start writing again so updates should be more regular. I don't have a beta anymore partly because it's been two years and I don't have the courage to ask if she still betas and partly because I've lost her email and partly because eventually things will heat up between these two and I know she wasn't comfortable with that so I don't want to make things weird for her. So in short if you see any minor mistakes I'm sorry and if there are major ones just let me know.

So this chapter didn't have a lot of KK in it but we did get a deeper look into what Kaoru is thinking and we got to see a little of MS's rocky start as a couple. The next chapter will have more KK time though I promise and you know it's true because it looks like they are going to have to have a long talk and their feelings and such.

So please let me know what you think and reviews are loved! Thank you to everyone who reviewed last time so many of them made me laugh and all of them made my day!