Title- The Mariano Files
Author- Kàra
Rating- PG-13 for language
Summary- Who else thought that Season 7 was missing... something? Could it maybe have been a certain shy, sarcastic writer-boy? So here are all the deleted Jess scenes from S7, beginning with a tag to Paul Anka. Lit undertones, but follows GG canon.
AN- I firmly believe that there were a ton of scenes from Season 7 with Jess in them, or in which someone mentioned/talked about/discussed Jess, but they were cut out in the interest of time. Hence... this. There will be one for every episode from TRPA through the finale, but don't expect them to be regularly posted! There will be a sequel to this once I finish it, because this is building up to some post-finale stuff.
Deleted Scene #1
The Real Paul Anka
"'I'm here for you,' she said,
and we can stay for awhile.
My boyfriend's gone,
we can just pretend..."
-Anberlin
As they said those parting words- not angry, not shouting and desperate, just sad- Jess felt a part of himself ripping apart and he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, anything to let out the misery that was filling him. He had gotten so good at telling himself that he didn't miss her (not at believing it, but he'd take what he could get) that he had managed to block out the way he felt about her. But the moment he had kissed her, he had let those floodgates down and all his pent-up emotions had filled him up and he had known, without a shadow of a doubt, he still loved her.
And she was in love with the blonde asshole. Just fucking perfect. So here he was, finally ready to give her all of himself, everything he had held back before, and she... didn't care. So he let her walk out the door.
Even then, though, he knew he wouldn't sleep unless he actually saw her drive away from him. He crossed to the window and peered out. For a moment, all he saw was her conspicuously unoccupied car, and an empty street. At first, he was confused. Then he realized she was sitting on Truncheon's front steps, her head in her hands, looking defeated. Before he was really aware of what he was doing, he had shot out the door.
"You okay?" he asked, sitting down next to her.
"Not really. Just trying to process," she admitted timidly. She sighed, staring at her shoes for a long time before she glanced up at him. "This... thing--" She gestured between them to emphasize her point. "--Between us never goes away, does it?"
It didn't. Not for him. But he was hurting and angry and not about to give her the satisfaction. "I don't know what you mean," he said coldly.
"Hey, you kissed me!" she pointed out.
"You kissed me back," he retorted.
She nodded, breaking his gaze and returning her eyes to their previous preoccupation with the buckles on her shoes. "I know," she murmured. "That's what worries me. No matter what happens, no matter how much time passes, there's always... something." Suddenly her eyes shot to his and he was taken aback by the open, vulnerable expression on her face. "I came here because of Logan, but I have to leave because of you. Does that make sense?"
"No."
"What Logan did to me, it was just sex. Meaningless sex. If I used you like that- which I am disgusted with myself for considering even subconsciously, by the way- I don't think it would be meaningless. Then I would be the one in the wrong. It would hurt Logan worse than what he did to me. And it would hurt me. I think I would be... conflicted. I don't want that. I just want things to be simple again! And worse, I would hurt you. I mean, I already have. I know I have, don't deny it. But if we did that, it would be so much worse--"
"You're telling me!" Jess interjected, with a bark of humorless laughter.
Rory shook her head. "I can't do that to you. I just can't."
It wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear that she didn't care, because that would mean that he was just a moron who couldn't let go. If she had said that, he would have been robbed of hope, and maybe he could have moved on and tried to find his second-best. This, though... This was making his stupid, stubborn heart hurt worse than if she had laughed in his face.
"God, what is wrong with me?!" she burst out. "I shouldn't be thinking about any of this! Cheating boyfriends, trying to cheat right back... it's all so horrible and I went and dragged you into it." She was contemplative for the briefest of moments before saying in a much quieter voice, "I think I lied. Everything's not fixed. Something in me got lost, didn't it?"
He nodded. "You're different. Not in a good way."
She looked dejected, and he had to add, "We all fall down, sometimes. Look at me. I figured it out. Took me way too long, but I did it. You will, too." And the sick part is? He believes so strongly in her, in everything that she has the potential to be, that he really believes that.
"Thanks, Jess," she said. They sat in a silence that was neither uncomfortable nor companionable for some minutes. Then, suddenly, she burst out, "I hate this!"
"What, sitting on my doorstep in the middle of the night?" he asked sardonically.
"No!" Rory shook her head vehemently. "Not feeling like I can talk to you! Whenever something good happens, I find myself wanting to tell you about it, but I can't just call you out of the blue, because there's all that history. I just... I just miss being your friend!"
He was shocked. "What?"
"I hate that, just because once upon a time we broke each other's hearts, we can't just put it aside and try to be friends."
"Friends?"
"Yeah," Rory said. "Bury the hatchet, call a ceasefire, let go of the past, just... be friends."
Jess stared at her. It was almost a foreign concept, and he rolled it around his mind, testing it out. He wondered if it made him pathetic that he was desperate enough to have her in his life that he would settle for friendship.
"I'd like that," he said slowly. Was it possible that he hadn't lost her quite yet? "Honestly, Rory, I've missed you like hell. I miss talking to you." And then there was the thought niggling at the back of his head that he and Rory couldn't possibly stay Just Friends forever. There was too much chemistry between them. It might be foolish, but she was giving him hope with all of her talk of missing him and caring too much and not wanting to sleep with him because it would leave her "conflicted" (whatever the hell that meant). He couldn't help but wonder if, were he just patient enough, the ball wouldn't roll back in his favor at last.
And honestly? The brilliant smile that exploded across her face as he acquiesced made it worth it.
Yep, he was definitely pathetic.
"Thank you, Jess," Rory said quietly.
"So how exactly does the friends thing work?" he asked good-naturedly. "I'm somewhat new to the concept."
She laughed. It was the first time he'd heard her laugh in awhile. "I can imagine," she said in a teasing voice. "Um... phone calls to keep in touch, the occasional visit if either of us happens to be in the area, that sort of thing. Tell me before your next book gets published."
Jess snorted. "You don't even know if I'm working on anything," he pointed out. "How do you know I'll even write another book, let alone publish it?"
"Because you love it," she responded honestly. "You love writing. It's what you were born to do, and we both know it. I think you like this editing/publishing thing, too, but writing is your calling."
There it was: that flash of certainty and the vivaciousness in her tone which he has always associated with her. And it's talking about him, about his budding career, that brought it out. That, more than anything, gives him hope for a foggy, tentative someday.
After a few more minutes of idle conversation, they parted with a hug and a promise to keep in touch. And when Jess Mariano went back inside, he was wearing a small grin and a newly bandaged heart.
AN- This is probably (keyword PROBABLY) the most Lit-ish chapter for quite awhile. But Lit lovers, never fear- there will be UNDERTONES galore. Season 2... only better! Because mature!Jess makes everything that much more fantastic!