Okay guys! I don't own Death Note, nor do I own ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS! PSHHH if I did own Death Note, the least I could do was not kill everyone! Anywho, there's slight LightxOC, nothing major, and I believe there's hinted LxOC. Hope you likey. Reviews are appreciated.

Is he really dead? I thought. There was just no way, no way, L, my one and only love could have died. And to think... It was my best friend that did it.

It was only two days after L declared his love for me, two days after I was finally and truly happy. L completed me, after all those years of pining and lusting after the giant panda. And then Light ruined it all. Light killed one of the two people I'd really trusted with all my heart.

Even with all the heart break I'd gone through, I couldn't bring myself to cry. Tears were never really my thing, especially when it came to other people. Crying... I can't ever remember a time when I cried. I suppose, at the time, I was too angry to actually think about the years of loneliness to come.

Someone knocked on my bedroom door, interrupting my thoughts. I quickly cleared my mind of all thoughts before choking out, "Come in."

The heavy wooden door creaked open, and in came Light, the murderer. "Hey," He said calmly, gently, almost apologetically. He knew I knew he killed L. He knew I would never fully forgive him for doing such a thing. Yet, my head told me to move on, move on to Light, someone I'd known and trusted for years. Part of my mattress sagged under his weight as Light sat down on the other end of the bed, making sure not to touch me. He attempted to make me feel better by giving one of his dazzling smiles, but his face soon fell when I didn't give any kind of reaction. Light sighed with impatience, his calm and collected manner still overtaking his body. "Come on, Kia, you can't hold on to him forever. I had to-"

"You didn't have to do anything! He wasn't even suspecting you then, Light? Couldn't you see it? He was finally realizing, no matter how stupid he was for believing you, that you weren't Kira! Couldn't you see it in his eyes? He wanted to believe you, he really did. So why did you kill him, you- you... You murderer?!" I lashed out at Light, pushing myself off of my bed so that I was standing over him, trying desperately to get my point across. A few tears sprang to the rims of my eyes. I willfully pushed them back, never letting my guard down in front of Light.

Golden eyes stare at me, never moving away from mine. His eyes were searching for something, something I would never allow him to see, not in a million years. A look of sadness and a sliver of disappointment crossed his face, agony overwhelming his eyes. "Can't you see that I had to protect myself, and you? What if L found out you have a Death Note, too, huh? Do you think he'd allow you to live on like this, just because you don't use it? Think about that, Kiara." With those harsh words, Light slammed my door shut, his footsteps receding somewhere unknown.

Defeated, I sank down on my bed, thinking about what Light said. He did kill L for his own protection... Even my protection... But could I ever really forgive him for doing such a thing? He killed the one person I truly, honest-to-God, loved.

Is he really the only person you've ever loved? A voice in the back of my head asked me, almost teasingly.

Mulling over the words of confusion my own head supplied me with, I curled into the fetal position and began bawling my eyes out, wetting my bed sheets all the way through. Was L really the only one who'd make my heart flutter with each greeting? Was L the only one there for me? No... He wasn't... All those times I'd had to consider my conscience in using the Death Note, Light was the one there for me, giving me those words of wisdom I'd needed to make my decision. Light was the one who gave me advice about how to act on my feelings for L... And maybe that whole time, Light was thinking about me, and my well being.

But is that really enough to make me want to move on? He is a killer... He's killed thousands of people. I can't ever forgive him for that kind of crime... He killed the one close to me. The passion he puts into making a 'New World' overwhelm him, and make him seem like someone he's not. Could I deal with that? Is it a risk worth taking?

My mind argued with itself, logic never coming through any of the words penetrating every fiber of my being. I didn't reach a decision that night. Instead, I curled into my still-soaking blankets and drifted into a deep slumber, every thought leaving my cluttered and fucked up mind.

***the next morning***

Sunlight shone through my blinds and leaked through my eyelids, waking me up from the dreamless sleep I was absorbed in. Wonderful aromas drifted in the air and reached my nose. It smelled like... Breakfast. Something wonderful. Something so familiar.

Intoxicated by the bouquet in the air, I lazily stood up from my bed, bare feet touching the cold wooden floors of my room. A breeze blew through the space around me, causing me to shiver. I looked down and saw that my clothes were damp from the tears stains I'd let out the night before. Then, the memories of what happened came rushing back: the self-pity I'd inflicted upon myself, the way Light tried to make me think like him, the mixture of feelings I'd experienced for just about ever.

Mind still clouded over, I stripped and put on fresh, warm and dry clothes and walked straight out of my room. I ended up in the kitchen, where Light stood over the stove cooking what seemed to be eggs and bacon. I stared at the figure before me, taking in the sight of my... friend. This time around, ever change caught my eye.

I'd known Light ever since primary school- we'd been in all the same classes up until we graduated. He's told me everything, that is, until he found his Death Note. Drinking in his new looks, I saw the slight change in his appearance- his jaw was slightly more sculpted, his collarbone and arms more lithe. His hair had grown longer and lighter, still keeping its copper color. His eyes became more almond shaped, finishing the changes in his face. His hands seemed more calloused, more worked. The long, lean legs he stood on grew longer, making him even more taller than I.

After countless minutes of my observations, Light decided to acknowledge my presence. The man before me turned around from his culinary masterpiece to look me up and down. "You look like hell," he commented before rounding his body back to face his food.

I glared daggers at his back before pulling open the fridge, scanning whatever food we had. Surely after last night's argument, Light wasn't going to make me breakfast, right? So, I pulled out a carton of milk and a bowl, then picked up a box of cereal, making a bug show out of what I was doing. The whole time, I was pouting like a little kid.

Light looked at me suspiciously from the corner of his eye. He sighed. "Did you think I wouldn't make you breakfast?" His voice implied something I couldn't understand.

"Uh..." I stuttered, unable to make up coherent sentences. "No?" Still unsure of what was going on, I put back everything I'd grabbed and sat down dutifully at the table. Light just laughed at my stupidity.

He continued cooking, silence taking over the whole house. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but a fitting silence. During the length of the non-loudness, I thought over what had happened over the span of a few weeks: We'd caught Misa, once and for all, L and I had 'gotten together,' L had died, and Light had become the only person in my life.

The doorbell rang, breaking me away from my reveries. "I'll get it," I said, still unsure of the current situation I found myself in. My chair scraped across the tile, but I don't think Light or I noticed it much.

When I reached the door, I yanked it open a little too roughly, making the wood thud against the plastered wall. "Oh, hi, Matsuda. What are you doing here?"

The hyperactive agent, Matsuda, had a bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands. He chuckled a little nervously, odd for him, and said, "These are for you and Light, you know, to make the house more lively and all..." he trailed off.

Confusion flickered across my face. "Oh, well, thanks." I took the flowers and set them in a nearby container. "Do you, um, want to come in? Light is making breakfast." I asked politely. What? Just because I was in a state of mourning and permanent dizziness doesn't mean I get to be rude, now does it?

"Oh, sure, if you don't mind?" Matsuda replied, hesitant of what I really meant.

I laughed a half-way forceful laugh and added, "Please, I'd really like to go over a few things with you, anyway. About the Kira case." He nodded curtly and followed me into the back of the apartment, and ended up in the kitchen.

Light was setting up plates and serving the food for he and I, when he saw Matsuda trailing behind me. He gave me a questioning look, but quickly set out a third plate and split the food accordingly. I motioned for Matsu-chan to sit down. Light and I exchanged a look of agreement before we both sat down, Matsuda in between us.

"Okay, look, I know it's only been a week since L... moved on, but we need someone to take over."