Bad Advice

By Mr_Khan

This is a shorter one that was batting around my head for a while, a series of drabbles where each of the Straw-Hats seek advice from one another… but get that advice from the worst possible crewmate.

Chapter 1: Formal Wear

Advice Seeker: Luffy

Nami hit Luffy on the head. "You got us thrown out of that store, now what are we going to do?" She hit him again, "Baka!"

"But all of those clothes were sooooo lame!" Luffy whined. "I can't wear any of that."

"But then we can't go tonight! Do you know how much money we're missing out on?" Nami shrieked.

"But I don't wanna go…" Luffy whined again.

"You're going! Figure something out by tonight!" She hit him again.

Luffy slouched away dejectedly. In his depression he wandered down to Franky's workshop. It sometimes bothered Franky that he came down there, but the sights and sounds cheered him up whenever he was feeling a little down (rare though that was).

"Oi, Luffy, what was that about?" Franky asked.

"You heard that?"

"The whole ship heard that. Having clothing problems, eh?"

"Yeah. They're having a formal reception for up-and-coming pirates at the next island. Nami thinks she can steal money there. But I hate clothes shopping," Luffy scowled petulantly.

"You came to the right place, boss," Franky said smoothly. "I'll get you some duds that'll make you feel supah and make the ladies swoon!"

Luffy's face lit up. "Really? Awesome!"

That evening, Luffy emerged on the deck of the Thousand Sunny with Franky behind him. His clothing turned heads, definitely. Robin chuckled, Brook and Usopp burst out laughing. Nami had already left, and Luffy had to hurry after her. "Thanks again, Franky!" he yelled as he ran off.

"You look supah!" Franky replied, giving a thumbs-up.

The formal reception was being held in a banquet hall, a large, gilded hall with a dance floor and a series of tables, as well as one long dining table where a number of pirates were sitting, a set of six male pirates, all of whom looked uncomfortable in tuxedos, and their female escorts in lavish evening gowns. One female pirate in a flowing sky-blue gown and tiara had a look on her face that was daring some unfortunate fool to laugh at her, with a brutish-looking male escort who had already dirtied his tuxedo with food.

Nami entered the room, wearing a long black evening gown that clasped over her right shoulder, leaving her left shoulder bare. A waiter approached her.

"Cat Burglar Nami?" he asked, leafing through a binder full of Wanted posters. "You're supposed to be here with Strawhat Luffy, right?"

Anger briefly flickered across Nami's features, then she smiled. "He should be here soon."

Another waiter rushed in. "He's here, Strawhat Luffy!" he whispered to his companion. "Announce him!"

"If I may have your attention, presenting our most prestigious guest of this evening! The champion of the Marineford War, conqueror of two Shichibukai, he defied the Tenryuubito and is currently worth 300 million Beli! Here is Strawhat Luffy!"

Everyone in the hall cheered, but then Luffy appeared. The entire hall was stricken dumb for a moment. Aside from his normal straw-hat, Luffy was wearing an over-large Hawaiian shirt, a garish blue with pink palm trees, as well as a tight black speedo. The speedo was rather confining, and it showed on Luffy's face; he cringed as the speedo pinched him in all the wrong places. "Hello, everyone!" he shouted, waving.

The hall dissolved into laughter. Everyone was on the floor laughing, everyone except Nami. Nami loomed over Luffy in a towering fury. "What the hell are you wearing?" she shrieked incredulously. "Did you get those clothes from Franky?"

"Yup."

"Anyone else! Couldn't you have gotten them from anyone else? Even Chopper would have been better!"

Luffy pictured himself in Chopper's pink top-hat, and began laughing himself.

"Baka!" Nami hit him again.