Agni Kan Koishii

This is bound to be a very odd story and not for the faint of heart. I had an extremely graphic nightmare about avatar, again after one of my exams, and it just seemed to stick with me throughout the day. Soon, I was coming up with an interesting way to explain what I had seen and slowly building a story around the idea. For those of you who do not appreciate violence, torture and both male and female same sex pairings, please do not read further. I believe this story may end up being dark and twisted, but always with a happy ending. For those who are in the mood for a bit of darkness twisted up with love this will hopefully be a poignant and elegant tale. There will be a good deal of focus on Azula, I shouldn't really have to put any other warnings up other than that.

Mai listened to the crackling flames and Tai Li's soft breathing. The stars above were cold and distant, but Mai was used to their stoic silence especially on nights like these. It was not a sound that told her, nor a smell nor a word, but she knew that Azula would want her tonight. Perhaps it was something in the Princess's eyes or the way she had snapped at Tai Li more than usual. Mai did not know, but was grateful for the warning nonetheless and so prepared herself. She was Azula's Kan Koishii, her first beloved, and possibly the only person who truly understood the princess. Mai was the only person strong enough to be Azula's Kan Koishii and sometimes she reveled in the fact…other times it terrified her. Still, perhaps she had accepted the position as Azula's closest person simply because she felt guilty letting someone else do it. Someone who would buckle beneath the Princess's sadism would be merely cast aside and then another chosen and another and another…Mai could not allow such a thing. Besides, there was no lie in being Azula's Kan Koishii, for Mai truly did love her in every way that she could. She pitied Azula that the girl had been born with such a stunted soul and felt privileged that all the love in Azula's heart was only for her.

In the Fire Nation where almost all marriages were arranged and often loveless, it was traditional for people to choose a Kan Koishii when they came of age. The Kan Koishii was usually a person's best friend with whom one could feel comfortable and safe exploring intimacy. The practice discouraged adultery in a society where people were often trapped into marriages with people they did not love and prostitution was punishable by death. Usually, one's Kan Koishii was of the same sex in order to preserve future marriage opportunities, but no rule was strongly enforced. The idea was that people of the Fire Nation had an unalienable right to choose their Kan Koishii with total freedom and do with that person whatever they wanted. The Fire Nation believed that while a marriage was only for life and could be dissolved in cases of abuse or misery, the relationship between Kan Koishii stretched beyond the grave into the next life. Only the most extreme circumstances could separate Kan Koishii in the eyes of Agni.

Mai sometimes shuddered at the thought, but the girl believed that she would never have felt compelled to link herself with Azula if they had not already been paired in lifetimes before. Not all Kan Koishii were sexually involved with each other, but she and Azula were. The intimacy sometimes brought forth a side to Azula that Mai truly cherished and also helped her keep the Princess's sadism in check. That way Mai could protect Zuko. She closed her eyes. His warm gaze filled her vision along with the smile she had memorized for its rarity. How strange to have a Kan Koishii whom she feared and a man, one day husband, whom she loved. The whole thing was backwards and yet still somehow inexorably in balance. Mai helped Azula hang on to the last shred of sanity the girl possessed and in doing so protected the boy whom she loved with all her heart. Was it possible to truly love two people? Mai thought so, but the love was very different.

Zuko was all warmth, emotional tenderness and gentleness while Azula needed cold pain and childlike delight. Both were pleasing to Mai and she cursed herself for a masochist, the thing most displeasing to Agni. Still, if she only endured the pain with expectation of pleasure, was she truly so twisted? Mai endured because Azula needed her to and because she loved the princess too much to simply ignore her needs. If those needs were ever again directed at Zuko, Mai knew she would burn in true agony. And so the girl lay thinking and watching the stars and waiting. Mai counted each breath and counted again, preparing herself for the ultimate test of her stoicism. It was not long until she felt Azula's deceptively soft fingers caress her face. Mai cocked her chin upwards to regard the princess as she knelt above Mai's head. The starlight was beautiful on Azula's pale skin and midnight hair. Azula's touch was gentle, but that too was a lie. Mai smiled up at her and reached to stroke her hair.

"I love your hair Azula, it is so beautiful." Mai breathed into the darkness. The princess did not smile, but merely gazed at Mai.

Mai had no use for Azula's smiles or for her laughter, those expressions were only false anyway. It was only here, on nights like these, that the princess's true emptiness appeared on her face. Only Mai had peered into the yawning chasm of Azula's spirit and truly knew how broken her friend was. Agni was indeed cruel to have made her this way, with a soul so small and numb. All the cruelty the princess visited on others paled in comparison to the agony of her own fate. It made Mai feel tender even though when Azula came to her…it was dangerous to feel anything. Mai brought Azula's silky tresses to her lips kissing the other girl's hair and inhaling her scent.

"I want you Mai. I need you tonight." Azula said, her voice cool and still gentle.

"I thought you would never ask, I have been getting so bored. You are so lovely in the starlight my princess." Mai replied, her voice a husky whisper.

Mai gave a gentle pull to Azula's hair, forcing the girl's face closer to her own so that she could capture her lips. Azula' lips were the most perfect tender pink and soft as moist silk above her own. She could feel Azula quivering form her touch and fought not to sigh as her tongue crossed into Azula's mouth. The princess caressed Mai's tongue with her own for a few velvety strokes, but Mai knew that her gesture had been an offering. She was not surprised when Azula bit down onto her. It was no playful nip like she had shared with Zuko, Azula's teeth were hard, drawing blood. Mai closed her eyes slowly, forcing herself not to wince. The salty metallic taste in her mouth almost made her gag, but then Azula was sucking on the injury drawing the blood into her own mouth. Mai combed her hands through the princess's hair as she broke the painful kiss and rose to her knees.

"You are beautiful Mai. Your hair looks like it is made of starlight, I wish the fire were gone so that I could only see you by the stars." Azula sighed, brushing kisses against Mai's throat.

"We should leave the fire. I do not want Tai Li to get cold. She doesn't have you to warm her up you know." Mai said with a teasing smile. Azula's eyes were empty.

"I do not care about her." Azula said blankly.

"I do." Mai replied, moving to kiss Azula's mouth again as she felt the blood begin to trickle down her lips from the laceration on her tongue. Azula lapped it from her and purred.

"Your eyes are so still, so lovely and so warm." Azula mused as she kissed the other girl again.

Mai could feel the heat begin to grow within her as Azula toyed with her abused tongue. Azula moved her hand over Mai's face, as if memorizing every detail. Mai kissed along her jaw, sucking hard on her own tongue to numb the pain. A trail of shining blood still followed her kisses along the princess's face, but Azula did not care. The princess ran her hands beneath Mai's tunic, letting her fingers flutter over the sleek muscles of Mai's upper back. Mai brought her mouth to Azula's neck, sucking and nibbling along the steady rhythm of Azula's pulse. Her own blood beat in her ears, but Azula's pulse was still slow and quiet. It was strange and hurtful, but Mai knew that it was not Azula's fault. The girl would respond to her touch when she could. Azula's soul needed far more rousing than Zuko's…or anyone else's for that matter. With him, a single kiss and his eyes would boil with passion. How Mai missed him! She kept the longing from her face as she gently licked the pink edge of Azula's perfect seashell ear.

"It is because I love you, that my eyes are warm." Mai said, slowly dipping her hands beneath Azula's silk robe.

The princess finally gasped, as Mai laid her hand over the girl's naked breast. Mai grinned with satisfaction as Azula's sluggish body slowly heated beneath her touch. Azula slowly pulled the robe from Mai's shoulders, running her hands over the soft, white skin. Azula, bent and kissed her throat. The princess's lips were soft and warm, but her teeth were sharp. Azula snapped at the tender skin just beneath Mai's collar bone, but Mai held her body still through sheer will alone. She had to be strong. Strange and awful as it was, Azula needed this…needed to feel Mai's pain or she would feel nothing at all. Azula pulled one of the sharp pins from her hair and drove it into Mai shoulder. Now Mai did gasp. The pin was not deep, Azula knew better than to leave injuries that would not heal easily, but it had been placed against the nerve bundle in her arm. Mai felt the electric pain coursing through her body, sending burning tingles all the way down into her arm and hand. Mai closed her eyes and her mind, retreating into the quiet of her thoughts. She could not show fear or pain. If she did, Azula would do much worse than this.

She kept her body still as Azula removed the pin. Such play was dangerous and she did not want to be maimed. Blood flowed freely from the wound, dripping down between her breasts. Azula brought her mouth to the pale globes and licked the soft flesh passionately, heedless of the blood. Azula licked and sucked, drawing Mai's still soft nipple into her mouth. Mai felt hot fire erupt deep inside her belly at the touch. Despite the pain, she was aroused. Mai allowed Azula to move her onto her stomach and remove the rest of her clothing. The night was chilly and Mai was grateful to feel the firebender's preternaturally warm fingers against her back. The wound on her shoulder was more painful than it was deep and soon the bleeding ceased. Azula was no fool, she knew the body well enough to satisfy her sadism and keep the flesh mostly undamaged. Azula dragged her sharp hair ornament in lazy circles across Mai's back, sometimes cutting and sometimes not. The sharp unexpected pain was fierce and Mai gritted her teeth as Azula used her fire bending to heat the pin. For both pain and safety, the princess slowly cauterized each of the wounds and Mai had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. Screaming would not help her. Weakness would not help her. With her other hand, the princess massaged heat into her Kan Koishii's taught muscles so that Mai relaxed into the abuse despite herself. Mai could feel the blood running down her back to pool against the base of her spine. Azula kissed the rounded corner of her buttocks and gently ran her finger down between Mai's legs. Azula brushed her soft fingers against Mai's clitoris and the girl moaned in a voice strangled with pain.

Azula was ready and in a quick motion born from many years of practicing with shirokin and flying knives, Mai flipped the girl beneath her. The air woofed out of Azula's lungs as Mai forcefully dropped her beneath her naked body and pressed aggressively onto her sternum. Now was not the time for gentleness, Mai had to dominate Azulain their lovemaking or suffer further injuries. It was a balance between allowing Azula the release through torture that the girl needed while still protecting herself. Before Azula could draw in the breath she had lost, Mai clamped her lips down onto the princess's mouth. Azula struggled for air, but Mai's lips were strong and heavy against hers. After the princess began to thrash, Mai released the air form her own lungs down Azula's throat. Azula sighed in pleasure as she inhaled deeply and wound her tongue into Mai's mouth. The princess brought her legs up and around Mai's waist. Mai released her mouth to devour her perfect breasts, sucking and gently biting the small, pink nipples. For the first time, Azula moaned with pleasure and heat began to trickle into the firebender's empty eyes. Mai lathed her tongue over the warm curves of Azula's breasts and gently bit her right nipple, while rolling the left between her deft finger.

Azula moaned again and dragged her sharp nails over Mai's waist. This time, Mai did not have to bury the pain and channeled it into a long sigh as she pulled the loose pants from Azula's body. Mai thrust her knee between Azula's legs and rubbed the other girl's sex roughly. Azula cried out, biting her lip to keep from screaming with the intensity of the pleasure as her cold body finally melted beneath Mai's touch. Mai moved so that her own womanhood could grind against Azula's, feeling the fiery pleasure crashing through her thoughts. While Mai was warm and dripping with passion, Azula was not yet aroused enough to be wet. It did not matter, Mai shared her essence with her Kan Koishii so that Azula could also be warm and stimulated. Azula's hand moved down from Mai's hip to cup the other girl's sex in her fingers. The princess rubbed Mai's clitoris and dipped her fingers deeply into the hot opening. Mai thrashed and bit down on Azula's shoulder to keep from screaming. Azula responded to the pain and moaned harshly in Mai's ear. At last, Azula began to release warm fluids of her own. With a final twist of Azula's fingers within her, Mai came in a blinding surge of pleasure. If she had been a fire bender, the entire world would have burned. Panting, she groaned and Azula gently pinched her clitoris so that Mai came once again.

Azula licked the tangy juices from her fingers as Mai moved her own hand into the Princess's soft intimate curls. Azula finally blushed as Mai found her clitoris and stroked it firmly with her thumb. Mai pumped her fingers into the girl, keeping her thumb firmly against the princess's clit. Azula moaned and bucked her hips, but did not come. Mai felt tight fear clutch at her chest. Sometimes, if she did it just right, Mai could get Azula to come just from pleasure. However, pleasure alone was often insufficient because Azula just couldn't feel as deeply as one should. To the princess who lived in a state of cold, numb emptiness, even sex barely reached her. Mai knew what Azula would need, but the thought was repulsive to her.

"Mai…Do it…please!" Azula begged as her body contracted against Mai's fingers.

"No! I don't want to hurt you!" Mai hissed, stubbornly kissing Azula's breasts.

"I want it! Please! Please! I want to feel something!" Azula's eyes were warm and childlike in her desperation. This was what Mai longed to see, the true Azula that was nothing more than an empty child.

"Only one and not again until it is healed." Mai snarled. Azula nodded, her mouth lifting into one of the only genuine smiles Mai ever saw from her. It was a smile that was almost naïve…childlike.

Before her own soul could prevent her, Mai took the very tip of Azula's little finger into her mouth. She hesitated, longing to please her Kan Koishii with pleasure alone. Her heart wrenched and Mai felt her own being fill with pain. Azula nodded, her eyes heating in anticipation. Mai bit down, feeling the last bone in Azula's finger crack. Azula screamed and came against Mai's fingers even as tears of agony coursed down her face. Mai found that her own eyes were brimming also, even though she had managed not to cry at all under Azula's torture. She cried and watched as Azula thrashed and moaned, cumming not once, but twice. It was a small injury and would heal soon, but Mai cried with abandon against Azula's neck. It was not weakness to cry for pain that was not her own.

"Wonderful! That was wonderful!" Azula panted when she could finally breath again.

Mai rolled away from her and gently kissed her forehead. Azula smiled. It was her true smile. The smile of a four year old who just received the treat she wanted most in the world. Mai loved Azula's smile and even though such awful agony made her stomach turn, it was what Azula truly needed. At last the princess was feeling, her body flush with emotion. Her face was no longer blank when she spoke.

"I love you Mai." Azula sobbed against Mai's hair.

"I love you too." Mai responded, choked with emotion.

The next day Tai Li awoke to find Azula in good spirits. The princess bustled about the camp, chattering about finding Zuko and torturing him to death. The princess was as cheerful as she had seen her in a very long time and seemed more grounded too. As Tai Li ate her breakfast, she could not help but notice that Mai's right shoulder seemed stiff and sore. Mai's face was as placid as ever, but Tai Li knew everything about the human body and knew when someone was in pain.

"Hey Mai, want me to work on that shoulder for you later?" Tai Li asked sweetly. Mai gave her a haunted look.

"No, its fine." She said coolly.

Tai Li felt something deep in her soul. She was missing something and it had to do with Mai's sore shoulder and why Azula was wearing a glove only on her left hand.