Title: Five Things Kirk Learned About Spock
Author/Artist: CrimsonDreamer13
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Kirk/Spock, slight Sulu/Chekov and Scotty/Uhura, Bones
Rating: T
Warnings: Implications of man-on-man sex, curse words
Summary: Five things James T. Kirk learned about Spock, before and during their relationship.

4. Spock's source of inebriation is chocolate.

"Fuck yes! It's shore leave time!" Kirk shouted as he leapt up from his chair. He exchanged grins with Sulu and Chekov when they looked back from their stations, patting them both on the back as he exclaimed, "Guess what we're gonna do once we get out of here, guys!"

"I'm guessing it involves you lying on a bed in my sickbay because of your allergies." McCoy suggested with a smirk as he entered the room, smirk quickly changing into an exasperated look as Kirk slung his arm around his shoulders. "For the love of god, Jim, you need to stop being such a careless dumbass! Do you remember what happened last time when you found out you had allergies to Andorian lubricant?!"

"Lighten up, Bonesy!" Kirk exclaimed with a grin as he gave a harder pat on the man's back, "I'm going to be more careful tonight! Wouldn't be fun to ruin everyone's vacation just because of my allergies, would it?" He shot a look at his First Officer after finishing that statement, ignoring the raised eyebrow directed at him as he pointed a finger at the half-Vulcan. "And when I say everyone, I mean everyone, Mr. Spock. Even you."

Uhura sighed at that, throwing a disbelieving look at Kirk as she spoke, "Isn't it his choice if he wants to go or not? Unlike you, he knows how to have fun without hurting his self." She finished with a smirk at Kirk, taking note of the crestfallen look on his face while giving a comforting smile to Spock- who in turn gave her a thankful look.

"Pfft," Kirk rolled his eyes as he walked over to Uhura's station, leaning over her chair as he spoke in a nonchalant manner, "Just because you two are having fun with each other every night doesn't mean that he can't have fun with us guys." He quickly donned a grin on his face as he turned back to face Spock, paying no attention to the curious look on the half-Vulcan's face as he chirped, "Isn't that right, Mr. Spock?"

Spock merely inclined his head at that, face blank as he spoke, "I see no reason why I should join you and the others, Captain. I would not be, as you say, 'much fun'."

"'Not much fun'?" Kirk spoke in an incredulous tone, "Are you kidding me? Because if I remember right, we had a lot of fun last night." Kirk wiggled his eyebrows with the last statement, taking great pleasure in the light green color tainting Spock's slightly pale skin. "Mmhmm. Lots of fun."

"Your wording of it is rather inappropriate, Captain." Spock replied, eyebrow elevating when he noticed the horrified look on their CMO's face. "Do not worry, doctor. The Captain, even if he may be irresponsible,-" "Hey!" "-would not fraternize with one of his crew men, I assure you."

"He better not." McCoy remarked with a grimace, shooting a scolding look at Kirk as he spoke, "But if you do, well," he sighed while rubbing his temple, "at least I know that both of you aren't sick with anything."

Spock's eyebrow elevated a bit higher at that, directing said raised eyebrow at McCoy as he spoke, "I believe there is a thing called doctor-patient confidentiality, doctor?"

McCoy rolled his eyes in response, waving a hand in dismissal as he ignored the wide grin on Kirk's face. "It's not like you're going to do anything with that information, anyway. Unless the two of you, for some miraculous reason, want to go at it like two goddamn magnets with fucking polarities-"

"Bones!" Kirk gasped in a mock scandalized manner, a hand on his chest as he spoke, "I cannot believe that you just revealed the secret and forbidden love I have for my First Officer! Oh, I feel so scandalized." He faked a mourning tone as he covered the upper half of his face, mouth twitching to stifle the smile on his face as he continued, "And I thought that you were my best friend! What kind of best friend would reveal such a precious secret-"

"Precious secret, my ass." McCoy scoffed as he leaned over the railings by Spock's station, rubbing at his forehead as he muttered, "Goddamnit, Jim. Why must you keep scarring my poor brain with these images of you and Spock? I'm scarred enough with the images of you and men but no," he scowled, "you just have to go on and blatantly stare at Spock's ass like it isn't his business. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I observed no such thing." Spock spoke tonelessly, though his eyes clearly revealed his disbelief with their whole conversation. "And we have arrived at our destination."

"Finally!" Kirk yelled ecstatically (obviously ignoring McCoy's question) as he pressed the button for communication to Engineering, "Hey Scotty! You better get your ass up here quick so we can find a good pub!"

An equally excited voice with a Scottish accent yelled back, "I'm already gettin' to the Transporter room, Captain! You fellows better hurry!"

Chekov and Sulu exchanged amused smiles at that, the latter pulling a lever back to keep the Enterprise steady on the ground. "She's good, Captain. Any other orders?"

Kirk grinned. "Isn't it obvious?" He slapped McCoy on the back again, earning a look of barely suppressed annoyance from the man as he continued, "I order you men to find me a good pub right now!"

A chorus of "aye, captain"s ensued, Kirk grinning all the while as everyone made their way to the transporter room. But he had to admit, seeing Spock and Uhura hanging back and talking in low voices made him feel a slight hint of jealousy. And suspiciousness.

Definitely suspiciousness.

"Scotty, you have my respect for finding this awesome place." Kirk remarked as he gulped down another glass of...what was it? Orion beer? Huh, he couldn't remember. "But 'ey," he added quickly after noticing the raised eyebrow from the Scot, "It's not like you didn't have my respect before!"

"Good to know that you 'ave high opinion of me, Captain." Scotty replied dryly, leaning a bit on the counter as he drank from his mug of whiskey. "I hate to sound nosy, but should you really be drinkin' that, Chekov? I thought you were only seventeen."

"I am, in fact, eighteen." Chekov nodded as he finished another bottle of vodka, grinning lopsidedly as he leaned closer to Sulu. The latter laughed softly in turn, stealing the new bottle that the Russian just took and drank from it. Chekov pouted at that, but quickly brightened up when Sulu handed the half-empty bottle back to him. Which he drank in one full swallow.

Damn, Kirk thought.

"You still look so young, though." Uhura commented as she sipped from her Talarian cocktail- leaning a bit too close for comfort to their Chief Engineer, in Kirk's own (very important) opinion.

Isn't she at least feeling a bit ashamed with her boyfriend beside her? Kirk thought, before adding with a slightly smug tone (how he did that mentally, he'll never know), and beside me, apparently.

"Hey, Spock," McCoy spoke calmly despite the light flush of his cheeks, "drink this." He pushed a wineglass forward, with suspiciously dark content in it. Spock merely stared at said wineglass, then at McCoy who spoke with exasperation, "Good god, man, it's not poison. It's just some Kolaran wine."

Spock nodded at that, though he still made no move to drink the wine. He spoke, "You do know that I cannot be intoxicated by alcohol, do-" he got a look from both Kirk and McCoy at that "-McCoy?"

"Just drink the goddamn wine, Spock!" McCoy exclaimed before gulping down more of his beer, glaring at the half-Vulcan as he did so. "Before I shove it down your throat!"

"I do not think that that is a wise action to take."

"What?" McCoy squinted his eyes at Spock, almost spilling his drink as he waved it around, "Are you telling me you're scared to taste some harmless wine? I thought you couldn't get drunk off of it?"

"That is correct. I cannot 'get drunk', as you call it." Spock replied calmly.

"Then what's stoppin' you?" Scotty added with a daring tone, hand covering Uhura's (which Kirk definitely found odd, since Scotty knew that she was with Spock) as he leaned towards Spock. "It's just a harmless lil' drink, ain't it?"

Spock quirked an eyebrow at that, looking from the wineglass to McCoy then to Scotty. "Why do you two insist that I drink this...liquor? What is the purpose?"

"Meester Spock iz scared of ze wine, then." Chekov giggled as he nuzzled his forehead into Sulu's arm, obviously inebriated while he did so. Sulu could only grin at that, patting the younger man's hair as he sipped from his glass of tequila.

Uhura couldn't help the soft laugh from coming out of her lips when she noticed this scene, as well as the smile on her face when she felt an arm making its way around her waist. "Just try it out, Spock. It wouldn't hurt, would it?"

"I...suppose." Spock replied with slight hesitation as he paid no heed to Scotty's arm around Uhura's waist, taking the glass from the counter and taking a careful sip from it.

"What does it taste like, Spock?" Sulu queried while still running his hand through a certain Russian's hair, the latter man laughing softly in return as he leaned into the Asian man's touch.

Spock paused before taking another slow sip, attracting the stares of his fellow Enterprise crew –and friends, he added mentally- before he spoke, "It is...oddly delicious." He took another sip to prove his statement, earning grins from his shipmates as he did so.

Kirk quietly continued drinking his beer as he stared at Spock's fingers; which were holding the wineglass up as he sipped, then moved his stare lower- down the half-Vulcan's neck as his Adam's apple bobbed whilst he swallowed the wine, down his chest which was covered by a delightfully tight black shirt, and- no. No more dirty thoughts tonight, Kirk. You're drunk and you might do something stupid, he chided himself.

But really, he'd have to be blind if he didn't notice the celadon color slowly appearing on Spock's cheeks, reaching to his neck and ears as he sipped more of his wine. Spock stared thoughtfully at the wineglass in his hands as he did so, before looking up at McCoy and asking, "McCoy? If I may ask, what are the ingredients of this...Kolaran wine?"

McCoy hummed in response, waving at a woman that passed by them as he muttered, "Fermented apples, a little bit of alcohol, and dark chocolate." He shrugged as he turned back around to face Spock, gulping down his beer before noticing the half-Vulcan's widened eyes. "Anything wrong?"

Spock mumbled something incoherently as he placed the wineglass back on the counter, hand noticeably trembling as his cheeks became flushed with color. His shipmates had to stare at this, eyebrows simultaneously furrowing as Kirk asked, "What did you just say?"

"I said," Spock breathed out, eyes becoming half-lidded as he clenched his fists, "chocolate is a...a source of inebriation for Vulcans. As I am still half-Vulcan, it seems as though I have become affected by it."

Silence.

And then, "So you're drunk?"

"Apparently I am, McCoy." Spock mumbled as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, senses becoming heightened as he felt the air becoming a bit warmer; saw the lights becoming too bright, heard the muffled whispers from the other tables, tasted the tang of chocolate on his tongue and smelled...smelled arousal? He clenched his eyes shut as he noticed this, the strong scent of excitement surrounding him as he stood up shakily. "I...I must return to the ship. Excuse me."

"Hell no, you're not." Kirk murmured as he took Spock's arm, receiving a –surprisingly open- curious-slash-surprised look from the half-Vulcan. "At least, not alone. I'm helping you get to the Enterprise. You look piss-drunk, anyway. Chocolate's that bad for you?"

Spock chose to ignore the question, trying to tug his arm away from Kirk and failing as he groused, "Captain, I must insist that you stay with the others. I do not want to be a burden-"

"You are not a goddamn burden, okay?" Kirk hissed as he pulled Spock along, ignoring the worried looks from their shipmates as they made their way out of the bar and onto the empty road. "I know that you want Uhura to be taking care of you while you're drunk, but you might do something irrational-" Spock raised an eyebrow at that "-and don't give me that damn look, because you've already seen what humans can do when they're inebriated. You're still half-human, you have urges, and who knows what you might do when you and the Lieutenant are alone."

"I'm imagining that it would be a horrible experience." Spock muttered as he unconsciously leaned on Kirk, the latter more than pleased with this as he slipped a hand around the half-Vulcan's waist to support him as they beamed up the Enterprise.

Spock felt his skin tingle as he opened his eyes to the sight of the transporter room, barely holding back a wince as he saw imprinted in his mind flashes of white light. "I believe I can get to my quarters on my own, Cap- Jim." He muttered under his breath as he stepped off of the transporters, afterwards furrowing his eyebrows when he felt more than saw Kirk still holding onto him. "Jim?"

Kirk could only grin in response, shifting his hold on Spock a bit to remind his self that the half-Vulcan's hand was still clutching onto his shoulder. "Nah, I don't think you can walk on your own."

"I suppose that is true." Spock mumbled with a small nod, letting his Captain guide him through the (thankfully) empty hallways of the Enterprise until they got to his room. Kirk regretted that the only way he could hold Spock so closely was through his drunkenness but hey, he had to take what he could get, couldn't he?

And Spock was warm. Very, very warm.

Almost to the point of fever, actually, Kirk thought with a frown as they reached Spock's quarters. He quickly muttered the Captain's override code to the computer as he gripped Spock closer, pulling him into the room as gently as he could. "Spock..? Are you okay?"

Spock let out shaky breath at that, closing his eyes as he tried to regain proper mental balance. "I think it would be preferred if you left me alone, Jim." Kirk frowned at that, feeling a tad bit hurt with the half-Vulcan's words along with the harsh tone that came with it. "I need to meditate, so that I may regain...my clear-headedness."

"No." Kirk spoke firmly, feeling a bit more sober with the anger and worry welling in his chest. "I'm worried about you, okay? I just..." he bit his lip, sighing in frustration as he pulled back from Spock to hold him by the shoulders. "I don't know what's wrong with you. You're...you're hotter than normal. In the literal sense. Are you sure you're just drunk?"

Spock had to clench his fists when he saw Kirk bite his lip, eyes dimming with- with lust, Spock thought grimly. "Jim, please, I'm not sure if I can stop myself-"

"Stop yourself from what?" Kirk bit out, grip tightening and loosening in intervals as he tried to ignore the dark green flush on Spock's face. "What's wrong? I can't help you if you don't tell me!"

"It's you!" Spock yelled, control breaking and no no no Jim is your friend you can't do this you can't you can't-

But he had already pushed Kirk to the wall when he regained some of his sense, already rasping out, "You. It's always you. I don't- I don't know why. I just cannot understand why I would want you this badly, why I can't control myself and I can't-"

"What if I want you back?"

Spock blinked. He could not have just heard James T. Kirk say that.

Kirk laughed softly when he saw the confusion on Spock's face, moving a hand forward to press on the half-Vulcan's chest, fingers trailing down and down... "I want you, Spock. I'm not gonna break, you know." A crooked grin. "I'm not that fragile."

And before Spock knew it, all the shields in his mind and around his heart had plummeted down to a place that he could care less about.

He had never thought that it would feel this good to be free.

A/N: Augh. This is terrible. But at least I tried. *sob* Thank you so much for the reviews and faves, guys! I really loved them! And, uh, sorry to Kikachubachan if I repeated the two people speaking in one paragraph thing. orz It had to be done to show the interruptions, so...yeah. orz orz orz

Sorry if this took so long, as I was stressing over the recital I have tomorrow-...and I was busy drawing Minun!Spock. Pffft. If you want to check my art out, just copy and paste this link onto that thing on the toolbar and remove the spaces: http://crimsondreamer13. deviantart .com/

And er, I fail at manporn? orz I don't know if I should write it out...but if you guys want me to, please leave a review! I'll try my best knowing that there are people out there waiting for another chapter of this fanfic. xDd