Shady Impulses

Chapter 1: The Plan

Disclaimer:

Dissidia ~Final Fantasy~ belongs to Square Enix. This story contains implied yaoi and the cross-dressing of more than one male character; feel free to hit the back button if they're not to your tastes. There may also be some spoilers for the Shade Impulse chapters in Dissidia. I only own this plot. Thank you.

Full Summary:

Deciding that fighting through the rest of Chaos' forces made the going too slow, Cosmos' heroes contemplate a different tactic that would lead them straight to Chaos himself – seduction. Men fell prey to beauty, so who was to say that gods wouldn't too? Of course, there's just a slight problem with the number of girls available…

Cloud couldn't believe his luck. Or rather, his utter lack of it. Of all things his new comrades could come up with, it was… this.

This being the thrice-accursed dress, no it was actually a friggin' ball gown, and other accessories (and no, they weren't all battle accessories) that shall not be mentioned that were now lying neatly on his bed. Oh, they looked innocent enough, and girls – with the keyword being "girls" – would most certainly coo over how pretty they were, but to Cloud…

They were much more monstrous and hateful than all the WEAPONS and JENOVA combined.

His only consolation was that he wasn't alone in his… plight. His rather unfortunate, though at this point Cloud really didn't have much sympathy for anyone else but himself, counterpart in this fiasco was also staring at a separate pile of feminine clothes and accessories on the other bed in the room, cursing the rest of Cosmos' heroes to Hell and back under his breath.

Squall Leonhart was not a happy camper right now.

Neither was Cloud Strife actually.

…

Gaia, how the hell had he ended up in such a situation again?

Two hours earlier…

"The world is getting more unstable by the minute. Our progress is too slow," Warrior of Light said, the only sign of his worry being a slight crease between his eyebrows. Otherwise, his voice remained calm and steady and he was generally cool and collected. "If we continue this way, then we will have to face Chaos' warriors again. This is wasting too much of our precious time."

Nobody disagreed with their leader. They had all fought against Chaos' ten chosen warriors once before, and it was annoying to have to face them again. All they wanted was to get to the big boss – Chaos – without anymore unnecessary fanfare. Much as they enjoyed journeying with their new friends, there was still a distinct sense of homesickness starting to settle in on all of them.

"So, guess we'll have to find another way to get straight to Chaos?" Tidus asked.

There was a long silence as everyone contemplated on strategies that could get them to Chaos without engaging any more of Chaos' forces as it was possible. The Imitations were still easy to deal with, but not so the villains from each heroes' respective worlds. It took a while more before Zidane finally spoke up.

"I think I've got an idea," the short blond said.

There was a certain spark in Zidane's blue eyes that seemed to hint at some mischief. But the blond was more often than not a little mischievous, so that was nothing new and the rest of them hadn't thought of it as anything that noteworthy yet.

"Tell us!" Bartz immediately said, his face lighting up in a smile.

Thus, as Zidane began to relate his idea, growing more and more excited as he went on, one Cloud Strife was starting to get a horrible sense of déjà vu but without the tinkling laughter of a cheeky pink flower girl to accompany him this time. Cloud absolutely did not like the words "seduction" and "Chaos" put in one sentence, and what the connotations were.

When the other blond finally finished relating everything, blue eyes bright with excitement, the contemplative silence that descended on the group of warriors made Cloud want to kill something. Or someone. Like Zidane. His gut feeling told him something bad was about to happen.

Cloud had learned well enough to trust his gut feelings.

"…that sounds… dishonorable," Frioniel finally said.

Cloud also knew that he had something going with the thought that Frioniel reminded him of Zack some times.

"I don't know, Wild Rose, but "Chaos" and "honor" don't seem to go in the same sentence," Tidus commented.

Then couldn't they get that "Chaos" and "seduction" also didn't fit together?

"There's a problem," Onion Knight voiced out in a somewhat protective voice. "Tina's the only female here. We can't send her in alone to face Chaos."

Zidane's smirk was no longer merely mischievous. It was downright evil. Cloud's sense of horrible déjà vu intensified.

To titanic proportions.

"Well… I've a background in theatre… and we didn't always have enough females to play the female roles sometimes…"

"No," Cloud said at once, almost not noticing that he'd actually spoken quite audibly.

"No to what, Cloud?" Cecil asked this time, looking genuinely curious. "Do you know what Zidane was about to suggest?"

Well, Cecil probably was genuinely curious. So were probably more than half the damn group of them. Cloud wished right now that he could've kept his mouth shut. But the horror of possibly being thrust back into that situation again had made him react without thinking. Shit.

"…I probably do."

Zidane pouted a little, probably slightly miffed that someone had guessed his plans before he could reveal them properly. But Cloud motioned for the other to do the revealing instead. If only to hold on to the small glimmer of rapidly fading hope that he wasn't right.

"Well, I was suggesting cross-dressing."

Gaia. He really wished that he hadn't been right.

"Tina's a really powerful mage in her own right," Zidane continued. "But we can't let her take on Chaos alone. So we probably need a few more people to accompany her."

"Cross-dressing," Squall repeated. There was disbelief clear in his voice.

"Well… it could work!" Zidane insisted stubbornly, looking like he was about to pout childishly at his party-mate when they were still seeking the crystals. He was backed up by Bartz (which wasn't a surprise since he would back up almost anything Zidane said) nodding his head at Squall.

Cloud hoped it wouldn't work. Even more so, he hoped that Warrior of Light, who'd been silent thus far, wouldn't agree to this insane idea. His hopes, however, began to wilt away faster than a JENOVA-infected plant that couldn't handle the tainted Lifestream when a seriously contemplative look entered Light's eyes.

"It is… a viable plan," Light announced in his typical serious and calm voice. Then the warrior turned to look at Cloud, asking, "Cloud, were you thinking of the same thing as Zidane?"

He nodded slowly, feeling dread pool in his gut forebodingly like liquid lead. Light's deductive abilities were quite good, and he really didn't want to know what the other man had deduced from Cloud's earlier protest. But it seemed that Cosmos wasn't looking down favorably on him.

"It seems, from your prior outburst that… you've gone through something like this before…?"

Cloud swallowed uncomfortably as every single person turned to look at him, their faces belying varying degrees of shock. He resisted the urge to run right now, instead replying as steadily as he could, "…yes. To rescue a friend."

"Then you should accompany Tina in this mission too," was Light's far too calm and ready reply.

Yup, somewhere out there, someone – maybe Cosmos in the place where goddesses went to when they died – really hated him.

"No. There's got to be other ways."

"Such as?"

Damn. But for the life of him, his mind was a complete blank slate right now. Well, not exactly. The only thing that was clear in his mind was that he absolutely didn't want to cross-dress again. Never would still be far too soon. He must've kept quiet for too long because Light spoke.

"You would cross-dress to save a friend, but not a world?"

Cloud remained silent, biting his lip. He hated being guilt-tripped. But whenever it happened, he always fell for it. This time, unfortunately, was no exception.

Warrior of Light took Cloud's silence agreement to taking part in this mission for he gave a somewhat pleased nod in Cloud's direction. Cloud swore, however, that he saw a spark of something sadistically evil (What irony, Cloud thought) in the other man's eyes just before Light looked away from him.

"I think we will need one more person. Three is the golden number, after all."

Déjà vu was a JENOVA-esque bitch, and Aerith was probably giggling like crazy back on Gaia.

(He wouldn't put it past the Cetra or Gaia to be able to access other dimensions. Somehow.)

Look on the bright side. At least you won't be alone in this mess, an optimistic voice that sounded very much like Zack said in his head.

Cloud sighed. Pep talks just weren't going to cut it for him this time. Not even from always cheerful, positive Zack-like voices.

"Squall, would you do the honors?"

Cloud whipped his head back to stare at Light incredulously so quickly that he might have given himself whiplash. Did Light just suggest who he thought he did?

"What?" the gunblader exclaimed. Or as much as Squall Leonhart exclaimed anyway.

This time, Cloud definitely caught sight of a slight upwards turn of Light's lips. He probably would've missed it altogether if not for having associated with Vincent for a reasonable amount of time. Vincent Valentine was the epitome of all things subtle and had a hidden streak of dark, often morbid, humor. It would seem that Light had such a streak too.

"Yes. You'll do," Light continued on, as if he hadn't heard Squall's outburst. "You all should go to the shop to pick out the appropriate clothes. Tina, I trust you'll know what would work. Please go all out to ensure that this mission is a success."

Warrior of Light was, undoubtedly, a closet sadist. With a capital S.

When Tina nodded her understanding, the warrior of all things bright and shiny turned on his heels and left the group, going off to who knows where. The remaining heroes stood there blinking in slight confusion for a moment. Then a bright grin found its way onto Zidane and Bartz's lips.

"All right! Let's go!" Zidane hooted.

"Race you there!" Bartz echoed.

The two took off whooping in glee, leaving the others following behind at a more sedate pace. Cloud was all sorts of reluctant to do so, but he would rather be there to see what atrocity they were going to dress him in and try to have at least some say in it than being surprised. Or rather, horrified.

Judging from the absolutely mischievous looks on most everyone's faces (yes, including Frioniel and Cecil – people whom he thought were a little saner, oh wait, he had likened Frioniel to Zack, hadn't he?), Cloud wondered if he would actually get his way at all.

Cloud barely managed to suppress his wince at the mere memory. But there was unfortunately nothing that they could do. Warrior of Light had sanctioned the plan after Zidane (after this mission was over, he'd take up Squall's venomously muttered suggestion to strangle the life out of that damned brat) had suggested and explained it. Also, it was hard, if not entirely impossible, to talk their de facto leader out of something especially since it concerned Cosmos' last wishes to save this world and defeat Chaos.

In fact, if it had to do with Cosmos, everyone had learnt very early on not to contradict Light, who had a Cosmos-complex wider than his inner sadistic streak. Period.

(He had an eerily accurate aim with that hard shield of his, and always managed to land the hit on their heads.)

So it was for the best if they both just sucked it up and went on with it. The sooner it was over, the better, and they could then finally return to their home worlds. Cloud didn't think he had any more qualms about being able to defeat Chaos. His anger and annoyance over this situation made him positively savor the prospect of being able to fight Chaos regardless of whether the plan went successfully or not. From the matching, almost-mad glint in Squall's storm-blue eyes, he knew that the gunblader had the same thoughts as himself.

Chaos was going to be so dead.

But first and foremost, they had to wear those goddamned clothes. Cloud didn't want to touch them with a ten-foot pole (though he'd gladly take the Ultima Sword to slice them to pieces), let alone wear them again. However, he doubted that Squall would do it before he did.

All right, Strife. You've done this before to save Tifa. You can do it again to save the world.

For some strange, illogical reason, the "saving Tifa" reason sounded a lot more appealing for cross-dressing than the "saving the world" one.

Taking a deep breath, Cloud began stripping off his usual attire with all of the stoicism that he could muster at the moment. He tried to think of nothing that could make him balk. He was pulling his shirt over his head when he heard Squall speak to him.

"You're really going through with this."

Cloud tossed his shirt onto the bed before looking the brunet in the eye and replying evenly, "Do I, and for that matter, you have a choice? Really?"

Squall's frown deepened, but he conceded Cloud's point by starting to strip out of his clothes too. They both knew that it was futile at this point. If they'd wanted to protest, which they had, it had to be done earlier… and with a valid alternate strategy in mind. Unfortunately, in their own horror at the situation they were being thrown into (most especially Cloud), neither of them had been able to come up with anything. That said, he hadn't been given much of a chance to actually object.

Although, privately, Squall thought that Warrior of Light was just hiding a sadistic streak behind his impassive facade. Mr. Radiant did love to use his shield to bonk others on the head a bit too much.

When Squall was down to his underwear, he reluctantly took another look at the clothes lying on his bed and fought the urge to shudder in revulsion. He was definitely going to let Zidane taste the business end of Lion Heart once this was over. Depending on how this… mission actually went, he'd decide whether Zidane would also end up facing his Ex Burst.

He tried to face this as he would on any other SeeD mission. However, he was finding it exceptionally difficult to get into that frame of mind. The longer he stared at the clothes, the harder it was to accept the fact that it was indeed a mission. A mission that he would sooner become Ultimecia's Knight himself than do it, but it was still a mission, his mission, nonetheless.

The dress, or rather evening gown, that he was supposed to wear was in a shade of midnight blue and made of soft shimmery silk. Softly glimmering silver threads had been used to sew intricate designs near the hem of the dress. It wasn't strapless, thank Hyne for (really) small blessings, but the straps that were meant to hold it up looked way too thin and flimsy to last in an actual, full-blown battle. Squall seriously hoped that a wardrobe malfunction would not happen later.

Lying next to the dress was a brown wig meant to give him longer hair. He didn't know how it was the exact shade of brown as his own hair, but it was. He also had the feeling that once he wore it, it was going to look utterly natural. Like he really had such a hairstyle in the first place. It was a very horrifying thought.

The worst part of the ensemble, Squall decided, was not the additional accessories, even though he had to forgo his Griever necklace (something he was loathe to do) in place of something decidedly more delicate and thus feminine. The worst part was the undergarments. He stared at the very insubstantial piece of cloth and wondered why some girls even wore them in the first place. It was about as good as not wearing anything.

Then he wondered why they'd chosen that particular piece of underwear for him. It had to be someone's (either Zidane's or Bartz's he'd bet, heck, it could even be Tidus) idea of a practical joke, if this mission wasn't one already.

He really didn't want to put it on. It wasn't like Chaos – or anyone else – was going to be looking under the godforsaken dress. Right?

"As much as I wish to shred the whole ensemble myself, you'd best put it all on," Cloud advised as he saw Squall's eyes narrowing in morbid contemplation as he gazed at the… thong. As much as Cloud would love to do that too, he knew it would be a fruitless attempt that might land them both in an even worse situation. "Someone (and by that emphasis, Squall knew exactly who Cloud was talking about) might decide to check if we… went undercover all the way."

Cloud, having already suffered the ignominy of cross-dressing once, had gone about his task with much less hesitation, though certainly no less distaste, than Squall. In the time that Squall had taken to pursue the clothes for yet another time, he'd already worn the dratted, no less scanty underclothes and the lilac, strapless ball gown was already on his person.

In a way, he much preferred his old ensemble – it at least covered a lot more of his skin at the top and didn't depend partly on sheer luck to keep it up. This strapless gown was making him more than a little wary of how it would actually stay up once they started to fight. Squall's dress was only slightly better than his own, with those far too thin spaghetti straps, but Cloud thought that even a small figment of security was better than having absolutely none.

As Squall finally started pulling on the clothes that he was required to wear, Cloud went to pick up the blond wig – pig tails and all – that looked too much like the one he'd worn before and headed towards the mirror to fix it up properly. When he was done, he couldn't repress a slight shudder at the fact that – save for the dress – he looked very much like he did back when infiltrating Don Corneo's mansion with Aerith.

Hopefully, Chaos would be nothing like Don Corneo.

Staring at his reflection a little while longer, Cloud undid the small ribbons that held the parted the wig into two braids, letting the blond strands fall unhindered such that it looked like a wavy golden waterfall. Good. At least when the wig was like this, he didn't remind himself that much of when he first had to cross-dress. Well, it wasn't much really, but it was still something and that was already much better than nothing.

When he turned away from the mirror, Squall already had the dress on him and the younger boy's expression was so put out in a manner that could be considered as pouting for Squall Leonhart that Cloud might've laughed if he weren't in the same situation as well. The teenager was normally pretty stoic and prone to frowning, but today had to be the record day for Squall. He decided that he probably would have to say something, and seeing the brunet eye the wig with utter distaste, made up his mind.

"Need help with that?"

The expression on Squall's face when he turned around to face Cloud, or rather when he saw Cloud was… Well, the blond decided that if he managed to get a picture of it, anyone who knew Squall would've forked out gil by the thousands to buy it.

It wasn't that Squall had, say a jaw-dropped expression on his face. But those blue-gray eyes had widened pretty comically for the teen, and needless to say, it was very rare for an emotion such as shock (perhaps shock especially) to show on the stoic SeeD's face.

That said… Well, it probably was as close to a jaw-dropped expression for Squall Leonhart.

"You don't look too bad yourself," Cloud deliberately replied instead, a slight smirk on his face.

That changed Squall's expression back to something more like his usual one, though with a death glare in his eyes. "Shut up."

"Whatever."

When the brunet glared at him even more fiercely, most likely for using his pet phrase against him, Cloud felt his own smirk grow wider and maybe just a bit eviler. Perhaps somebody was rubbing off him.

"Grab the wig and get in front the mirror. I'll help you with it," the blond finally said, probably in sympathy. "Sooner we're done, the better."

Squall complied, albeit grudgingly, for he understood the logic behind the blond's words. Well, he hadn't seen guys cross-dressing before. Hadn't thought they'd actually be able to pull off looking remotely like the opposite sex. But when he'd turned to look at Cloud in the lilac ball gown and the blond wig that actually complimented the older man's gravity-defying spiky hair to make the whole thing look completely natural… Well. He'd been proved wrong all right, even if Cloud's arms were still a tad muscular to be really all female-like. But it wasn't that noticeable if you took in the whole ensemble.

It wasn't a very settling thought, especially considering Cloud's comment about him too. He was quite sure – though he didn't know why per se – it wasn't said entirely in jest either, though the main point had probably been to annoy him.

He let Cloud do whatever he had to do with the wig, seeing as he didn't particularly know how to put it on properly and Cloud's own wig seemed to be staying on fine and looking au natural which would probably be for the best for this mission to go smoothly. That and he had a, admittedly, childish thought that if he didn't touch the wig any more than he absolutely had to, then things wouldn't be so bad. Squall found that averting his eyes from the mirror and concentrating on the wood grain pattern of the dressing table also helped in distracting him.

Almost too soon, he heard Cloud announce that he was done. It was also in a tone that sounded far too much like the blond was trying to suppress a smirk or outright laughter.

Squall Leonhart never thought there'd be a day that he would be afraid to look in the mirror.

Stop being a wuss, Leonhart, he chided himself. Then he brought his gaze up to mirror.

The wig had retained some elements of his natural, choppy hairstyle. In fact, the wig's fringe looked exactly like his own hair. Most of the rest of the hair on the wig however, were longer than his natural hair, falling down relatively straight but in layered sections. The longest parts of the wig ended just below his shoulder.

Even to himself, he did look like a girl.

"Hyne," he muttered. There had better not be pictures taken.

Cloud suddenly reached over and fiddled with the front of the wig. The fringe now covered part of his face such that much of his scar was hidden. He looked at the blond, an eyebrow raised.

"Make up probably won't be able to mask it entirely and that scar's one sure way to identify you, even in drag," the other explained. "And you really don't want a lot of that stuff on your face."

"Make up?"

"Warrior of Light emphasized "all out", didn't he? I also saw Tina in the cosmetics section."

"…you really have done this before, haven't you?"

Cloud just gave him a Look.

"Hyne."

"At least you're not saddled with a villain like Sephiroth here," Cloud muttered darkly.

Well, at least Ultimecia wouldn't be like Seifer, he supposed.

…Seifer.

Hell yeah. Squall was suddenly really glad that it was Ultimecia, and not Seifer, that he could possibly meet in this world. Of course, it would be for the best that they didn't run into any other villains, but he would definitely pick Ultimecia over Seifer for this scenario.

When Cloud and Squall finally stepped out of their room in those dreaded clothes complete with all the accessories given to them, they found Cecil waiting outside. Surprisingly, Cecil was not wearing his usual armor, whether it was his Paladin or Dark Knight one. Instead, his pale hair was drawn back in a low ponytail, and he was dressed in something that could be a butler's outfit.

"Cecil?" Cloud questioned, raising an eyebrow at what the other was wearing.

The other man did not respond for the long moments it took for him to run his gaze over both Cloud and Squall. There was a mild expression of surprise on Cecil's face too. It was obvious that while they'd all thought it would be hilarious to cross-dress their two most stoic warriors (well, barring Warrior of Light of course, though they were all beginning to see his inner sadist now), they probably hadn't completely considered how in-role Cloud and Squall could get.

Well, appearance-wise that is. Cloud had no idea if Squall had it in him to even try to act like a woman for all of one second.

"Cecil," Cloud prompted again, his voice now sharper with impatience and slight annoyance.

He did not particularly like how his comrade was staring at him like that. He was also sure Squall did not either, and with Squall's current black mood, the brunet was more likely to follow the "gunblade first, explain later" philosophy.

"I was told to play the part of an escort for the three of you," the paladin finally answered. Then after a short pause, he added as if he wasn't sure if he should share the information, "And to make sure you two didn't decide to run away."

"As if there's any place that we can run to," Squall scoffed.

Cecil decided not to comment on that. Instead, he said, "Let's go. The others are waiting for you two so they can do… the final preparations."

Knowing that their fates had already been sealed and struggling was going to make it worse, the other two followed their "butler" to where everyone else was. When they stepped into the larger room, there was a sudden hush as the rest of Cosmos' heroes took in the sight of their cross-dressed companions. The silence was broken when someone wolf-whistled.

"Looking good, Cloud! Squall!"

Tidus, too, was going to die later, Cloud decided determinedly. After Zidane, of course. The idiot was trying his best not to fall on the ground from barely-contained laughter. Judging from the blackest glare of death Cloud had ever seen that Squall was giving the sandy-haired teen and then directing it to his not-really-loved-especially-right-now party-mate, he knew the SeeD had the same thought in mind too.

"Tidus!" Frioniel chided, even if he couldn't quite suppress the slight upturn of his lips too.

Cloud gave him points for trying.

Then Tina appeared from somewhere with a smile and green hair instead of her usual blond. She was dressed in a white dress that had an asymmetrical hem that was shorter in the front and trailed almost to the ground at the back. Cloud wondered why Tina's dress had sleeves (made from a translucent, silvery material, but still sleeves nonetheless) when his and Squall's didn't. It was definitely done deliberately. He was 110% sure of it.

And how could the girl even run towards them properly in… stilettos? Cloud was at least glad that the shoes that he'd been forced to wear only had low heels, and really, when the time came to fight Chaos, he'd just kick them off if they got in his way.

"Cloud, Squall!"

There was also visible, well audible, delight in Tina's normally quiet voice. It appeared that this mission had benefited in giving Tina an excuse to be more like a normal girl for once. Cloud could tell she was relishing the chance to dress up, even if it was for the sake of facing off against Chaos later.

"Come, I need to put on your make up," she added to the two males before turning around to go back to wherever she had come out from.

Up close, Tina's smile of joy – that had nothing to do with the humiliating experience for both him and Squall – took on an almost blinding quality. Cloud felt a tiny smile curl his lips at the unfettered picture of joy that was Tina currently. The girl was usually not very confident of herself, and he remembered that the first time they'd really met was when she was losing control of her powers. It was a nice change to see her like this.

Even Squall seemed hard pressed to keep his dark frown completely in place in the face of the girl's obvious rare happiness. The only other time they saw this side of her was when they encountered Moogles. So, wordlessly, the two of them trailed after Tina to a vanity full of cosmetics.

When Tina made them each take a seat in front of the vanity, Squall had to fight the urge to bolt. When he'd answered Cosmos' call for help (rather, he'd been whisked away without much warning really), he never envisioned himself having to dress in drag and put on make up.

Tina worked on Cloud first, to Squall's relief. He watched the process carefully so that he would know roughly what to expect when the girl turned her attentions to him. Cloud was holding himself quite stiffly from what Squall could see, and Cloud's fingers twitched reflexively when the eye shadow brush Tina was using touched the blond's eyelids.

Almost too soon, Tina was done with Cloud. When Squall looked at Cloud properly this time, instead of how he'd been focusing on what Tina's hands were holding and what those implements were doing earlier, he had to temper down his expression of surprise again.

Unlike how he'd seen some women pile on the cosmetics until the make up could be scrapped off with a scalpel, Tina had kept the look as natural as she could, seeing as how both of them had requested her to use as little make up as it was possible. A blend of pale pink and lilac eye shadow highlighted Cloud's eyes (As if they need any more highlighting with how they glow, Squall thought) without being gaudy, a faint red blush dusted the blond's cheeks giving the effect of a healthy glow rather than an unnatural blotch of color and lastly, was the pink lip gloss on the blond's lips.

All in all, Tina had managed to achieve making Cloud look, well seeing as he was supposed to be a girl right now, stunning without the use of over-the-top make up.

"Squall, I'm going to start now, okay?" Tina asked for permission kindly.

He nodded, and tried not to face the prospect of having make up put on him like how he would when preparing to go and face Ultimecia in battle.

As fast as it had seemed for Tina to finish Cloud's make up, it seemed thrice as long when the girl was helping him. Tina had put a bit more effort in trying to use make up to conceal his scar as much as it was possible, so that possibly took a lot more time than usual. Still, Squall could safely say that he hated the feel of the foundation liquid and whatever else that was currently clinging onto his face. This mission couldn't be over soon enough.

Squall stared at himself in the vanity mirror once Tina stepped away, scarcely believing he was looking at himself. Well, he'd heard that make up could transform people, he just hadn't expected how much. Tina had gone with a similar style of make up as she had done for Cloud. The noticeable difference was the choice of eye shadow color for him. She had chosen to use pale blue accented with a light sprinkling of silver glitter. Also, unless someone stared terribly hard at his face, with the make up and the artful placement of the wig's fringe, his scar was virtually invisible.

"Are all of you ready?" came Warrior of Light's voice suddenly from behind.

Cloud and Squall both stood up and turned around, nodding stiffly. They just wanted to get this over and done with. Seeing an amused glint light up Light's eyes just made them both grit their teeth in annoyance.

"Good. I have sent a letter to Chaos, informing him of an impending visit by three… ladies. It won't be traced back to us, so do not worry. I have taken the liberty to come up with backgrounds and new names for the three of you, should Chaos ask."

Warrior of Light handed out files to each of them, Cecil included, before adding, "You can read this a short while later. There's something else I'd like you all to do."

When they all looked at him, they saw a quick flash of a wicked smile on Light's usually stoic countenance. It sent shivers of unease down Cloud and Squall's spines.

Their fears were confirmed when Light produced a camera out of nowhere and said, perfectly calmly, "Let's have something to remember this by."

Closet Sadist indeed.

I can never get enough of Dissidia cross-dressing fics! Or fanart. Or any form of fanwork. XD This crack idea came to me as soon as I found out about the Scent of Honey/Honey Charm set in Dissidia. It was meant to be a oneshot, but it grew too huge so I decided that splitting it up would be for the best!

Yes, I know the character tags said Sephiroth was going to be in the story, sorry he ain't here yet. He'll appear in the next chapter, so don't worry! More fun will come then too.

This started out to be a "torture Cloud" fic, but somewhere along the way, Squall started becoming a lot more vocal (imagine that!) as seen from the POV changes between him and Cloud. So somehow, the first chapter ended up being as much "torture Squall" as it is "torture Cloud". ^^ As for why Squall to cross-dress along with Cloud... Don't you think it's the most fun to do that to the stoic, serious ones? XD I also enjoyed making Warrior of Light a closet sadist! 8D

Hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter! I know I loved the process of writing it!

carzla