Disclaimer: Samurai Warriors. It's not mine. Unfortunate, no?

"So, Ranmaru," Hideyoshi started, grinning, "Any opinions about any particular . . . girls?"

It was a beautiful summer day. The sky was clear and exquisitely blue, everything was in bloom and lively, and it the land had been relatively peaceful for the last few weeks, but it was just too quiet. He was here purely on business with the Oda, which wasn't going over as quickly as he thought it should. Although Ranmaru had been left to keep him company, it seemed that the boy would be content to just sit and silently await his lord's return. Therefore, Hideyoshi took it upon himself to avert the silence, before it started to become too uncomfortable for him to tolerate.

Ranmaru should have been just around the age to where he'd really understand what Hideyoshi was talking about, no matter how young and effeminate he appeared, and it suddenly occurred to the Toyotomi lord that he'd never noticed Ranmaru's reaction to the women around him. And the Oda army seemed to be in no short supply of beautiful women.

"Such as?"

If the boy hadn't replied to his question with such a sincere look of innocence, Hideyoshi might never have believed him. He tried calling upon past memories, to see if he really was this naïve, only to realize that they'd never discussed anything in length before.

"Lady Noh, for example."

Hideyoshi could see no reason as to why Ranmaru would be able to resist this woman, and the delectable curves. She was cruel – sadistic, even – and vain, but very, very bold. One glance and the right amount of cleavage could have even the most celibate man weak in the knees. And little boys, who more often than not didn't think with their heads, could suffer the most devilish fantasies for her, and no one would blame them.

"Ah," Ranmaru nodded in understanding, "she is the wife of my lord."

Hideyoshi felt his grin falter as he stopped to wonder: was the boy just that stupid or was he really that innocent still?

"Yes . . ." Hideyoshi replied, with somewhat of an edge. "And . . . anything else?"

Ranmaru pursed his lips, as if considering something. "Oh, and she is also a very skilled warrior. I believe that is the reason–"

"Never mind that."

Maybe Ranmaru wasn't the type to fall for seductive figures alone. Hideyoshi himself couldn't see how that was possible, but there were apparently people like that.

"What about Oichi? What do you think of her?"

Oichi was attractive too, albeit in a much more pure, childish way. Perhaps Ranmaru was the type who preferred softer features and gentle, willing-to-oblige personalities. The naughty boy.

"She is the sister of my lord," Ranmaru responded candidly.

His agitation was starting to grow slightly; he decided to be a bit more blunt. "So, how exactly do you feel about her? About her being with the Azai man?"

"I . . . I do not wish for her to stay with Nagamasa's army."

Finally, it seemed that Hideyoshi was making some progress!

"You like her, then?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"It must be hard to stand by and watch idly, I know." He paused, thinking back to his younger days for a moment, then chuckled softly. "Don't let the fact that she's married stop you. It never did me."

Ranmaru looked at him with bewilderment. "What are you talking about?"

Hideyoshi looked puzzled as well. "Isn't there are reason you'd rather see her safe at camp here?" he asked. "You don't think Nagamasa is a bad match for her?"

"She has a very happy marriage with Nagamasa, and I would never wish for anything to disrupt that. However, I do not believe it is safe for her to remain with him, as the Azai and the Oda are currently at war. He may not show it well, but lord Nobunaga cares deeply for his sister, and wishes only for her safety!"

Hideyoshi's womanizing brain struggled to grasp this concept. If what Ranmaru said was truthful – and it sounded very much like the truth – then he bore no intimate feelings for Oichi, either! "What about . . . what about Gracia?" he demanded. "Or Ina? Ginchiyo? Any girl!?"

". . . Sir? You're looking awfully pale . . ."

"Or maybe you're . . ." Hideyoshi stopped himself mid-sentence, suddenly having the common sense not to dig his own grave. And maybe it was wrong to jump to such abrupt conclusions, but if Ranmaru really held no interest in ladies whatsoever, then there was only one natural verdict he could come to . . . homosexual. He hadn't intended it, but the thought sort of made him shudder.

Completely oblivious, Ranmaru shrugged and reverted back to his dutifully composed role while Hideyoshi continued to list possibilities in his head. The older man's behavior may have seemed odd, but he wasn't feeling talkative anymore, which suited Ranmaru far better.

There were able to finish their wait without another word.

Random idea, written early in the morning. Yay, uncreative title! And I hope they're not too OOC.

Obviously, this was purely for humor . . . and because I like picking on Ranmaru's naïve nature. Might have overdone it a bit though. Regardless, don't take what Hideyoshi says seriously.

I need sleep now.