Chapter Twenty-Two

Goodbyes are difficult, there's no doubt about that. But if we are lucky, a hard goodbye can lead to an easy hello. That's the crazy thing about life; we never know where we are going to end up. Sometimes we are blessed and reunited with an old friend. We just have to sit back and let things happen, no matter how hard we try to control it life is going to go on, whether you are ready or not.

- New-York News of the World Gazette February 25th 1902

Penelope sat alone in the drawing room next to a raging flame dancing to its own tune. Company was not something that had interested her for the party she had had the night before became to be overbearing. The licks of fire reflected off of her steadied eyes, which stared blank and still in front of her. Her long blonde hair fell tangled around her shoulders, untouched since she pulled it free from it's perfected up do hours before. She still sat in her gown and her hands were still covered by her white elbow high gloves. She had no energy or any desire to move. Her stomach had not stopped turning ever since she saw Diana for the first time in who knows how long. But it wasn't so much her that bothered her but rather who she had been with. Just the thought of him made her heart race.

She turned what little attention she had away from the fire and brought a hand to her tear stained faced in hopes she could calm herself down. Even with her attempt it stopped nothing. Penelope had never been much of a crier, but last twelve hours she seemed to do nothing but that. "This is unfair," she thought to herself, "he can not just show up like that."

"Penny?" a voice asked behind her. She sniffled and turned her head slightly to the left. From the corner of her eye, she saw that it was Scarlet who had called her name. She leaned against the frame with her lightly colored nightgown still on. She turned her attention back to the fireplace before she replied.

"Go away," she simply stated.

"Are you okay?" she pressed on perfectly ignoring her cousin's request.

"Go away Scarlet," Penelope said again this time with a slight hint of irritation in her voice. Before she knew it, Scarlet was across the room and standing in her line of sight. She crossed her arms and turned her head sympathetically to the side.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, "it looks like you have been crying."

"I am fine," Penelope urged, "now will you quit asking!" Scarlet rolled her eyes then sat herself down on a couch a few steps to the left of her. Penelope didn't want to hear anything from anyone but she knew that what Scarlet had said was probably true. She could only imagine what her faced looked like, eyes swollen and red from heartache and make up smeared from the tears. But she could care less; she had been alone up until this point. She had no one to impress.

"Well since you claim to be alright I just wanted to let you know that Teddy has yet to contact me."

"So?"

"So?! Penny this is a very big deal! There is no way Elizabeth is going to stay with him after a scandal like this! And who is going to be there to help piece back his broken heart?"

"The one who broke it," Penelope said before Scarlet had the chance to say anything else.

"Excuse me but I am not the one who broke his heart. Do you think they have talked about it yet? I bet they have, I wonder if they are no longer together..." Penelope pressed her fingers into her temples and began to massage them as Scarlet continued to question the marital the status of the man she was in love with and his wife. As she went on, Penelope's patience began to grow thinner and thinner. She had become used to her cousin's breathless rants but today was not one of those days that she could sit there and listen to her winy voice. Finally she couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh dear God will you just shut up!" Penelope snapped. Scarlet's eyes grew wide and she stopped talking.

"Excuse me?" she calmly asked.

"Shut up! Stop talking! No one wants to hear about your failure to win the heart of man. An unavailable one of that!" She stood up from her spot on the couch and began walking out of the room.

"I did not fail!" Scarlet said back.

"Yes you did," she called over her shoulder. Scarlet got up and followed her out of the room. Penelope had just reached the stairs when she appeared in the doorway.

"He is going to come for me, you will see!" It was then that she snapped, she flung around on the fifth step and met Scarlet's eyes.

"Shut up about it Scarlet! He is not going to leave his wife for you; you need to get that into your head right now! I don't want to hear you bring up Teddy Cutting ever again! He is in love with her and you are not going to be anything but girl with an unreachable dream of being with a man who doesn't want you back. Get over him and get over yourself!" She let her words set in for a few seconds before she turned around and continued to walk up the stairs once more.

"Then you need to do the same," Scarlet said quietly. Penelope froze. When she turned around again, Scarlet was gone and she was left alone. She let out a loud scream before she stormed the rest of her way up the steps. Her feet fell hard against the wooden floor before she reached her room. When she entered her room, she slammed her door shut shaking the mirror and windows inside the master suit. She let out another loud scream as she walked over to a vase of flowers sitting on the short dresser. In one swift wave, she pushed the glass off and forced it against the wall. There, the once purple stained glass shattered into thousands of small pieces before falling to its resting place on the floor. The daisies also dropped, what were once full beautiful flowers now laid cut up and bruised in the blanket of broken crystal.

Penelope saw the mess she had created and began to sob. Her hand reached out and found the wall for support but her legs could not keep her upright. She slowly rested herself on the floor away from the glass. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them. She allowed the emotions that had been built up inside her escape her body for she was too weak to hold them in for any longer.

She knew she was not the best person in the world; at times she could be cruel and deceiving. But even those type of people don't like to get their hearts broken. Penelope was one of those people who knew first hand what heartbreak was, even though not many people knew that about her. She liked to keep that part of her life to herself; it was the one secret she kept hidden away from society.

It was a typical story. A few years before the Henry Schroonmaker scandal, she fell in love with a boy and this boy fell in love with her. The only thing was, he was already married to another woman back in Paris. But that didn't stop them for falling hard for each other during the short time he was in America. When it was his time to go, she bagged him to stay with her but he insisted that he had to go. So she watched him leave and never heard or saw him again. That is, until last night. Dillon Abney had showed up uninvited to her party and when she saw him unmasked, every memory the two had shared with each other flooded her mind. Not only that, he was standing with Diana Holland with his hands wrapped around her arms. Many questions also arose from their meeting but all she knew is that she needed to leave. She was not going to stick around with the man who tore her heart in two, nor was she going to find out if Diana was his new mistress. The thought of that made Penelope cry even harder. This would be the second man she had lost to the youngest Holland girl. It was as if she could never win, defeat was always going to be in the cards for her and she had come to terms with it.

Penelope didn't notice that someone else had been standing in her room until she looked up from her hands. Through her tears, she made out Buck carefully walking over to her. But she didn't care, she let her head hang down again and continued to sob.

"Shhh," she heard him say as he reached her. He sat down next to her and put an arm around her and slid her over. She then reacted and rested her head on his shoulder as he slid his other arm around her, embracing her right on the floor.

"Its going to be alright my dear," he whispered to her as he rocked slowly back and forth.

"Wh-When," she tried to say but he just brushed his hand through her hair to sooth her.

"I could hear your wailing from the foyer. Scarlet informed me that you have been like this since last night. You did not hear me walk in and I'm not surprised, you sound as loud as an African Elephant." Penelope looked up and glared at him which only made him laugh.

"I am only kidding my dear," he said as he guided her head back to his shoulder. For a while, the two friends just sat on floor. Her tears began to let up but he continued to rock her, whispering it will be all right quietly in her ear. Finally, she yawned and crying at subsided significantly.

"You need your rest," Buck said but she shook her head.

"I am fine," she replied and he chuckled.

"You are certainly not. Now come on, let's get you into bed." Penelope opened her mouth to protest but before she could, he was already helping her off the glass scattered floor. He grabbed one of her hands and led her over to her bed where he respectfully pulled back the covers for her.

"You really don't need to do this for me, Buck," Penelope said but he raised a hand indicating for her to stop talking.

"Yes I do, someone has to watch out for you," he replied. Despite the last several hours, Penelope managed to smile. He mirrored her with his sly grin then motioned her to lie down. As she did, he pulled the sheets up for her and began to tuck her in. As he did, her eyes never left his faced. When he noticed, she looked down at her and cocked his head to the side.

"What?" he simply asked and she shook her head.

"Why are you so good to me," she asked looking for an honest answer. He didn't answer him right away and she let him think as he finished. When he was done, he sat down and placed a hand over hers.

"Because that's what best friends do my dear Penny. We have been through so much together and it's the least I could do." She smiled up at him before closing her eyes. He then patted her hand twice and got up to leave. When he reached the door, he turned around to look back at her.

"If it counts for anything, I do not believe a man who makes you cry as much as he does deserves a beautiful woman like you." Penelope opened her puffy eyes and looked over at him. He then bowed and exited the room. She sat up quickly and listened as foot falls grew quieter and quitter.

"Buck!" she called out to him. In a few seconds, he appeared again at the door.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Stay with me," she said not knowing if it was a question or rather a demand.

"Of course," he smiled and walked back inside the room. Penelope scooted over as he shut the door. He then walked over to her and slid under the covers beside her. He allowed for her to rest her head on his chest with an arm around her. The sent of her friend instantly calmed her once more and she allowed herself to slip into a deep sleep. But before she did, she placed one of her hands on his chest, which he then took with his free hand.

"I love you," she whispered right before she fell asleep. Buck smiled and the kissed her forehead.

"Of course my dear."