Damon's Memoirs

Elena opened the door leading to the Salvatore mansion. She half expected to see Damon smirking at her as she entered like he normally was, but was a bit surprised to see Stefan waiting for her.

"Stefan!" she greeted. As soon as she stepped inside, he took her in his arms and kissed her. She basked in his kiss and put her arms around his neck.

"Elena, you finally came." He gave her a quick kiss and trailed his lips down her neck. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the familiar feelings that always arose within her when Stefan kissed her this way.

"I feel like I havent seen you in forever."

Elena laughed. "You saw me yesterday at school!"

"Yet it feels like a lifetime." He said in between kisses.

He leaned back and looked into her eyes. "Ive missed you."

She smiled. "Ive missed you too."

He kissed her deeply and swept her off her feet and carried her bridal style up the stairs to his room with Elena giggling and yelling, "We need to study Stefan!"

Neither of them noticed the dark figure in the corner that had emerged from the kitchen not long after Elena arrived. He walked into the living room and poured himself a drink. He then sat down and gazed into the fireplace getting lost in his thoughts.

Damon had a rare look upon his face at that moment. It was almost agony. The thought of Elena being with Stefan in an intimate way always tore him up inside.

When did that happen?

It didnt matter what kind of feelings he had for her, whether it be love or not. He knew that there was no chance she would be with him. She was destined for Stefan. She was Stefans other half. She was Stefans soul mate. He could hear the noises coming from upstairs and he knew that all these things were true. He had promised himself not so long ago that he wouldnt repeat the past not after everything that happened especially not after his heart was broken by his beloved younger brother and his true love.

He and his brother were close... once.

He trusted Stefan with almost everything he had. He had loved Stefan and gloried in the fact that he had a younger brother to stand by him when his father looked down upon him. He had someone to sympathize with when he was down in life. He had someone that was his best friend and brother at the same time. Damon loved his brother for all he did, especially when Stefan would stand up to their father and plead Damons choice to leave the Confederacy army.

During his time serving in the Confederate Army, he had received letters from his brother talking about how he met the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He heard so may stories of how his brother had fallen in love, and Damon couldnt help but feel jealous. He wanted to be loved by a beautiful woman as well. Of course he had met many beautiful women when he went to bars during his service, but he felt love for none of them and he knew they felt the same way. There was no spark or excitement.

That all changed when he had met her.

Her name was Katherine Pierce.

He was on leave from the war and was returning home when he saw her walking from his house. He had never seen her before and he was completely taken by her beauty. All the women he had met before didnt matter. Were they beautiful? Because he surely had never seen true beauty until he met her. He supposed it was love at first sight. As soon as he was close to her, he introduced himself. She merely looked him up and down, then put on a flirtatious smile. "Im Katherine Pierce." Her voice was beautiful as well and flawless. There was no way she would be classified with flawed mortals, he thought, perhaps she was an angel?

She eyed him hungrily and he felt his cheeks heat up. No one had ever looked at him that way. No one had ever made him feel this way

He had made his decision then.

He would have her.

He would make her his. He would court her until she fell for him. He would then take her hand in marriage as soon as he possibly could before someone else could ever take her away from him. He wanted to spend forever with her by his side. He couldnt help but feel true happiness for the first time since his mother died. He laid in bed that night dreaming about his future with her. He was no longer jealous that his brother had found love, for Damon had found love as well. He was happy for his brother, for himself... he was happy to have met the girl of his dreams, the girl that was his soul mate. Katherine...

Then it all shattered.

"Damon!" Stefan called out.

Damon quickly ran out to the gardens, where his brother was. "What is it Stefan?"

"She's just arrived."

"Who?" Damon asked puzzled.

Stefan laughed. "The girl Ive been writing to you about."

Damon laughed as well. "Oh, yes. The girl that has stolen my brothers heart." He slapped Stefan on the back in congratulations.

"I think its time for you to meet her... ah here she is." He pointed to the woman heading their way with her maid. He couldnt see her face though as she was turned away from him.

When she finally reached Damon and Stefan, she turned towards them and Damon looked at her in shock.

"Katherine, this is my brother Damon." She looked at him in shock as well.

"Damon, this is Katherine Pierce, the woman I am currently courting, the woman that I love."

'No... NO!' he thought. 'She was supposed to be mine... she couldnt be the one Stefan had talked about... he was already courting her...' All these thoughts swam in his head as he began to feel sick. It all made sense. That was why she came from his house yesterday. He had not given that much thought until now. She was attending a courtship with Stefan. It had all finally begun to sink in.

The woman he was in love with was the woman that his brother was in love with as well.

"Let us go inside. Father has prepared a meal for us. He is so excited to meet you Katherine." Stefan said. He nudged Damon who seemingly was unable to move and led him back to the house. Damon chanced one glance at Katherine behind his back and saw that she was looking at him as well, a curious expression on her face.

What neither of the brothers noticed was that as soon as Damon turned away, a malicious smile spread across her face.

Damons dreams of a happily ever after had ended that day. His heart slowly began to break apart ever since that day. Whenever he was left alone in his room, he had known that Katherine was in his. Stefan and Damon knew that Katherine courted both of them and this created animosity between them. It had created a competition, brother against brother, each vouching for her heart. His heart was finally broken when Stefan had betrayed the woman that they loved, and had told her secret. She was ripped away from him and he was left with nothing. No soul mate, no father, no hopes for the future, and no brother. His trust for Stefan died that day, and with it his love for him died as well.

It left him with hatred and revenge in his heart.

The first day that he became immortal, he promised that he would torture Stefan for what he did to him and he would find the power to do that. He also made a promise to never let that history repeat itself again. Yet he let himself fall for his brothers girl again. And the oddest thing was that she looked exactly like Katherine. He chuckled darkly before throwing his drink into the fire. Their noises were getting louder. He could hear her call out his brothers name in ecstasy. He wished that he didnt have super hearing at that moment. 'I must be a masochist.' He thought. He didnt know where along the lines of spending time with her that he fell in love with her, all he knew was that he was in love with her now. He had let himself put his heart out again by loving Elena and here he was suffering in pain while his brother was enjoying her. He couldnt listen to this anymore, he was falling apart and he needed to get out. He got his jacket and was about to exit the door when he heard her voice.

"I love you Stefan..."

"I love you too..."

Damon punched the door shut with his fist and raked his hands in his hair in frustration as he heard their professions of love with his super hearing. He had lost her. She was never his to lose in the first place. She was never his, but unbeknown to him, she still held his heart. And right now it was breaking...

He crashed down to the floor and listened to Elena's heart as she slipped into undisturbed sleep. Her heart was the only thing that soothed him. Her heart was the only hope he had for redemption. Her heart was the only thing that he wanted and needed in this godforsaken world.

He realized at that very moment that there was nothing nothing that hurt greater than unrequited love.

Awww don't you feel bad for Damon? I know I do! Sorry for the sad chapter, but I needed depth in the story.

&& Do you guys notice how I write thoughts and inner feelings better than outer words and feelings. I have no idea why that is, but oh well! :)

I'm totally addicted to Delena right now! *sigh* anyway... review the story, or chapter pretty please... && maybe if I get enough I'll show LOTS of Delena smut next chapter...