.:Need You Now:.

Disclaimer:I do not own Bleach, it belongs to the amazing Kubo Tite...

Author Note:

This is my first Bleach fiction ever, though I love the Anime very much that I think I must have wrote something for it a long time ago :D

Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it ^^

Please be kind and leave a review if you liked it!

another thing, the name of my story is after the song (Need You Now) by Lady Antebellum; it's just amazing!

It has been so long. What was it, ten years now? Probably, on earth-count anyway. But it feels just like yesterday that we killed him- Aizen; the glory of his filthy blood marbled where it should have been shed even longer before: upon each and every one of our hands, was just too tremendous to fade with time.

I've somehow grown up a little, my body now is a little curvier than my child self. Though; some feeling of uncertainty doesn't seem to be affected by change.

I took a deep breath and started thinking deeply, it's not a thing I'm used to do at all but I figured that what was happening to me needed that much of an effort.

Abnormal things have been going around lately, things that I'm not used to doing or noticing at all, what the hell is happening to my brain?

I'm pretty damn sure it's not functioning properly after living for so long.

Why am I acting so weird? So out of my character?

If I noticed my changing behavior I can only imagine what the others think of it.

A tint of pink crept onto my cheeks, "Am I blushing?!" I thought horrified, slapping my hands hard on my cheeks as the thought lingered in my already confused mind by the millions of stupid thoughts that it held.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" my thoughts were all revolving around one statement or one thought precisely, that something was wrong with my whole being, the way of thinking I newly inhabited.

Something stung in the back of head, something really new to me, something I might have experienced once or twice in my whole long life, my vision became blurry as some salty watery substance managed to round my eyelids.

"Just GREAT! Am now freakin' crying!!" my unrecognized muffled voice shouted through the dark night only to vanish right away.

Maybe it was all this years' frustration thinking on behalf of me, maybe I'm just too dumb as that dickhead said that I can't figure it out on my own.

And now what, Him again? Why do all things lately seem to always lead me to that dickhead?!

Why is it that he is all I'm capable of thinking of?!

Why does everything he says sound so right, and at the same time so dead wrong?!

Why does his grin keep popping in my head whenever I'm daydreaming or dozing off?!

Why is it that my slipper feels the urge to slap him even harder than ever?!

Why is it that I keep wanting to be around him all the freakin' time?!

All these questions kept wandering in my head like a lost soul, only confusing me even more and driving me to the limits of my sanity.

It's all his entire fault and he's so gonna pay for it. That was the only conclusion my brain could come up with, or the only one that I was most comfortable with; 'cause for me beating the shit out of him, or slapping him with my slipper was a better way of communication between us, or so I with time came used to think.

It's never really crossed my mind how he felt whenever my brutal attacks beat him to a bulb, was he really incapable of blocking my slaps? Did it really hurt him, emotionally I mean, or was it all me just doing all the kicking and slapping? Weren't we both supposed to be part of this relationship we found ourselves into? isn't any relationship built on giving and receiving?

My head started spinning again at the too many questions; I was giving it a hard time trying to find answers, but with no luck whatsoever.

My mind is really not function well, after all am trying to transfer a slapper and a slapp-y into a thing my heart wasn't sure was ready to have, a thing that I would've never thought was possible; not in this life, and surely not with a certain dickhead. Something my mind denied and my lips would never let loose, something that a tomboy like me couldn't have the nerve to dream of but accidentally is.

I wiped the tears that ceased to slow down and stop eventually at the hem of my favorite sweatshirt, the one that that dickhead teased me when ever I wore.

I looked up at the sky again but now with a new belief, a new persuasion, a new way of thinking that seemed to match my new brain cells, that I will fight, fight hard, I deserved happiness, I deserved to be loved, we both did after all we've been through.

What I'm feeling is still unidentified by my confused soul, or am I allowed to call it so?

Is it a soul that I always kept down deep within me?

Isn't the soul that feels all kind of emotions? Both happy and sad ones, all kinds of emotions that I felt for so long, the same kinds that made me who I am today.

Shinji's always believed that we have souls, even if we were part Hollows, and whenever I ask him if there is an afterlife for us if we ever died he would always flash me my favorite grin, the exact same one that used to make me wanna kick him to a bulb, then say with sarcasm yet a hint of sadness "why ya keep asking me deep questions, little kido? Got me suspecti' ya do really have a mind there" while ruffling my hair and messing my pigtails that I loved so much and he always made sure to make some sassy remark at every once in a while.

My soul, or whatever it was that held all my unrecognized feelings, was at ease- or at least for now- 'cause we've been always together and I'm gonna make sure we will always be, we've always been a family, sure we call ourselves Vizards but what we all feel deep inside is a connection so real that made us almost as connected as any real family.

"Oi, monkey! What are ya doin' up here alone, the dinner is ready and it's gonna be cold if ya kept standing there!" his voice rang through the calm of the night, and right into my secluded mind; though I always make sure to put extra shields around to prevent from being harmed ever, especially around him.

But it was too late 'cause I was caught red-handed.

"None of yer damn business ya dickhead!" I yelled at him as hard as my voice could offer, trying to hide the slight tone uncertainty that he might have caught like a hawk, but even my voice was a little cracked.

But as always Hirako Shinji couldn't be fooled easily.

And before anything could get serious and out of hand I picked my sandal in my right hand and swung it as hard as I could making his face; my poor target, the target that always got abused by my sandal, not by me, never.

My hand was caught, stopped. His firm grip didn't just stop my attempt, all flying dizzy thoughts were gone in an instant as well.

Shinji has never stopped me, ever.

It burned so much, in so many different ways, ways that I loved or maybe even lingered for, and in ways that I feared, so much.

I quickly struggled to release my self, planning my next attack to kick his ass, but his voice and deep expression, the one that rarely surfaced and took place on his features was now staring right back at me, his piercing eyes searching deeply through mine, seeing almost everything, making me feel naked in front of him.

But me being Hiyori, all stillness was wiped off by a wave of anger; like hell was I letting him stare at me and read me like an open book, I was going to struggle, fight even, it would always be this way if he ever knew, knew what my heart wanted the most.

I shifted my gaze as fast as I could, before his eyes began finding anything that he wanted to know, before all was lost.

But his fingers were burning a ring around my wrist, I hated it so much but I… I never wanted him to let go.

"Tell me" he demanded.

I was speechless for a moment, and though it felt like eternity for me, or maybe even for the both of us, I couldn't think of something to reply with. Was I suppose to just shout at him and tell him to piss off, or was I suppose to tell him that I was burdened with something, something that I won't ever tell him, not willingly, or not even on the verge of death, but also maybe…

His voice again rang in my ears but now with a different tone, a tone that always had an effect I couldn't, a tone that I grew up to name the confession tone; it has a way of stealing the words out of your mouth and placing them on a plate of gold before him.

But this was Shinji; I knew him like the back of my hand, and that made me capable enough to build a defense against that kind of tones, but would it work now that I'm already weakened?

"Tell me Hiyori, what's bothering ya?" and it hit me bad, hard and strong, all my defenses fell to shame, his tone demanded the truth, and the truth he shall get.

"You really wanna know what the fuck is bothering me?" I snapped; my voice sounded alien even to my ears, and my words weren't really as much a question as it was a statement.

"YOU ARE!" now I shouted loud in his face, my eyes transforming hatred into his, he was really bothering me and that's one thing I'm not lying for once about.

His everything bothers me, the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he always grin at anything stupid done by me, the way he passes his hand through his blonde silky hair, the way he dresses up, the way he stick his tongue in my face just to earn one of my infamous slaps, the way he always saves my ass whenever I put myself in trouble, the way he finds out that I'm in need to being hugged without asking why, the way he seems to know me better than I know myself, and what bothers me the most the way he acts when he thinks no one is looking, he loosen up and wears his pity-self mask; a mask that means the it was his fault, the whole damned thing was his fault.

And I wanted to yell that all out of my system; something my voice didn't help me with- being paralyzed and all.

Though we all knew very damn well it wasn't his fault, we knew it by heart. And that was part of why the glory of victory against Aizen was all his more than it was ours. Wasn't that enough for him to stop brooding?

And in those particular moments, the moments that he thinks that no one is watching, the moments that I always lose myself in, and struggle so hard against wanting to hug him, run my hand through his silk-like hair, draw circle of comfort on his back, kiss his forehead, and most of all whisper in his ear 'Yer not alone and ya'll never be'.

Somehow I was brought to reality, maybe 'cause his face now was inches apart from mine, his hot breath tickling my lips.

I gasped at the proximity of his face, and tried to pull back further, but his hand was so tight around my wrist, I started feeling it throb in pain from the tightness of his grip, was he that eager to know what was bothering me?!

"L-Let go Shinji, or I'm gonna kick yer bloody ass!" I stuttered, choking on my own words, trying to sound tough as always, but truth was that I couldn't find it within me to go all hard right now, I just wanted to let go, even if it was just for a split moment; was is it so bad for me to loosen up a little?

Maybe all of this was due to the fact that his body was radiating heat next to mine, making every single cell in my body ache for his touch, it would burn; but what a delight pleasure it would be.

And as if he was able to read my mind; our bodies were suddenly pressed too hard together, turning our moon-shed shadows into a single being. He hugged me so hard, pressing my head further more into his chest, my face buried in the crook of his neck, his smell intoxicating me.

At that exact moment I wanted to never let go, but I also felt like I wanted to die, kill myself.

How the hell can a single touch from him throw me off balance like this? I felt like I was a doll; for him to play with the way he wanted.

And as our bodies separated, much to my disappointment, he; Shinji looked down at me whit his hazel honey eyes, reflecting so much care into my own unfocused ones, melting my heart like a flick of ice in a hot summer night. One of his hands moved up and cupped my jaw, sending tingles around where his hand made contact with my skin, a moan almost escaped my lips, but I kept it hardly down my throat.

He then pulled my face up, my heart thudded so hard against my ribcage that I was afraid Shinji was able to hear it- feel it even.

His cheek then pressed against mine, and he whispered in my ear in his husky voice.

"Worrying isn't really yer thing, Hi-yo-ri"

I felt like my cheeks were on fire, like I would die of embarrassment right then and there, which made my blood boil in irritation; how dare he make me feel this weak?! I was sure gonna fuckin' kill him now!

His cheek slowly slid back, now his mouth almost covering mine.

I couldn't take it anymore; confused and all, I: SarugakiHiyori, leaned a little further so his lips were now pressed, unsurely, but softly against mine.

My heart somehow stopped.

I tried to pull back, so afraid of what might happen next, only for him to press me back against his body, while kissing back, making me shiver in delight, I could feel him everywhere.

I then surrendered to temptation, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, letting loose; kissing him with every inch of my being, it just felt natural.

I tried to kiss him softly, I could tell he was trying his best to hold back too, but it already was too hard, and we both were already past our limits.

His hands traced my skin, burning it, his lips tasted every inch of my face, they then attacked my lips once again with so much vigor.

My hands magically found his silky blond hair, my fingers already knotted in his hair, pulling him to me as if there was any possible way for us to be closer.

My legs then wrapped around his waist, small and thin around his thin, yet very strong muscles. His tongue twisted with mine, my mind was already trapped with the desire of wanting him.

This wasn't right; one minute I wanted to kill him, the next all thoughts of killing- all thoughts of anything were evaporated. I was beyond confused.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks again, breaking my 'hard' attire this night alone. Just how soft have I gotten?

"Enough!!" I screamed suddenly into his lips, making him shake in surprise; it just felt wrong! I freed myself from his grasp and pushed back stumbling.

"Stop hurting me Shinji, just stop playing with me, I have feelings you dickhead you know!" I roared into the starlit sky, feeling like the biggest fool ever, what am I going to do now?!

Run, I wanted to run and never come back, but would he follow me, would he really let me go?

"Hiyori, yer the one that must stop hurting both of us, just stop running away from me, just admit it!" Shinji finally snapped at my face, accusing me of always running away, wasn't he always the one hurting us? Or was it really just me?!

I backed away slightly, not knowing what to say, my voice was lost, drained.

"We're grown-ups now, Hiyori, and we can't just pretend not to see what's right in front of us, I wanna be with you damn it! But you were always too afraid, I tried to give you some friggin' space; so maybe you could figure it out on yer own and come back to me, but you just continued to run away!"

"I-I…." words still couldn't leave my mouth, I felt so many emotions, suffocating from deep within.

"You what, Hiyori?! Ha?" His voice demanded, and something inside my heart gained control over my voice and couldn't hold it anymore.

"I love ya, ya stupid, dickhead, mutt, fucking idiot!!" my voice rang loud, dropping a second of dead silence, before drawing a very wide knowing smirk upon Shinji's features.

That bastard, he knew it all along!!!

He then walked to where I was standing, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, whispering in my ears" Now, was it that hard? "

And before my sandal was able to make contact with his face.

"I love you more, Hiyori.." his words stopped me, soft and caring, gracing his lips with a smile that outdone my utmost favorite curve of his mouth in an instant. Red crept up my cheeks, making me wanna kill a certain someone, but I also felt for the first time since so long at ease, cared for and loved.

I smiled, too. Talk about mood swings tonight…

So...?!

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btw, am a HUGE IchiRuki fan and I think that anyone who loves Shinji X Hiyori must love IchiRuki as well :D