Title: Altered States
Chapter 1 - The Truth won't set you Free

Summary: A shocking death; a terrible secret; an evil nemesis. Mac wages a fight for his mental & emotional sanity after an undercover assignment alters his future & puts him as the target of a new foe. Can wife Stella help him overcome his new fears & get justice

Disclaimer: I don't own Mac Taylor but I wish I did (course then I'd have no time for writing!). You know the rest write? (grin)

A/N: So I am once again trying something new for me. This story is going to be a bit darker and angstier than other stories, but it will have lots of fluffy moments and trademark AiP stuff also to come. Just the topic is something I haven't done before for NY.

~Special thanks to WildWeasel, SBT and SMackedFan for the read-thrus and discussions and to Stardust 585. Hope you like what I have come up with.~

Very strong T for some violence and subject matter

"Drew's dead...he hung himself."

Mac leans back in his chair and allows his lips to offer a heavy curse; his mind thinking back to when he was sitting in the courtroom listening to the sentence of a man he knew as a boy; a man being sentenced to a prison term for trying to take his life. 'Andrew Bedford you are hereby sentenced to...'

Andy or Drew as he was most recently known, was charged with stalking a police officer; kidnapping a police officer and the attempted murder of two police officers; those were the major charges, the minor ones didn't seem to factor much; they just added to the mental decline of a man that grew up with the same hope and promise that he did; a man who had harbored resentment and hatred for the better part of his life and allowed it to control his actions and emotions to the detriment of everyone around him; especially himself.

'This is all your fault Mac!' Was the last thing that Drew had told him in the courtroom before he was dragged away; the Eric M Taylor center, his soon to be final resting place on the planet. Although spewing curses from his lips; Drew's eyes begged Mac's for reconciliation just before the courtroom doors slammed shut and he was gone.

"Drew..." Mac's brain forces the name to escape his lips. Jimmy didn't correct him; didn't reprimand him for calling his brother by the name that was synonymous with a man who was once labeled a stalked; Andy Bedford forever reserved for a young boy of an innocent nature; that was now gone; gone for good. He was only in prison for six months; he didn't even last that.

"Mac?"Jimmy's voice quickly snaps him back to reality.

"Sorry I...tell me exactly what happened Jimmy," Mac asks with a hint of desperation in his voice. As he listens to Jimmy's explanation, Mac's mind flashes images of his final hours with Drew; hours that he never could have foreseen this future.

"At first he was pretty down and stuff. Angry and cursing life and everything; you and me included. But at least he was talking and such. Then he said he had done something and...and then he withdrew; refused to see me and that was it. I went to see him and was told I wasn't wanted and not to come back. I just...damn I should have went to see him sooner."

"I um...I had thought about going to see him also Jimmy. I just wasn't sure my going there would do any good. Maybe if I did...maybe Drew would be alive to take that opportunity," Mac's voice allows a heavy exhale, his chest painful and his mind racing with a million different thoughts and ideas.

"I'm his brother Mac, if anyone should have been visiting him in that hellhole it should have been me. At first his emails were mostly the same. His hatred toward you, me and himself; his remorse at Will's death that was never dealt with and what a mistake he made in coming after you."

"Nothing to indicate he wanted to kill himself?"

"Nothing. He said he made a friend inside; some guy named Maurice, one of the guards; liked him right from day one. Drew said he was nice; a loner like him but it was okay because he protected him anyone who would cause him trouble. Apparently his new cellmate was quite the um..."

"What?" Mac gently prods.

"He was rough. Always looking for someone to beat up on. I mean we both know Drew...well he's not you Mac...hell he's not even me. I was glad he had someone looking out for him but...well this new guy, I guess something happened and..."

"Think Drew overheard or saw something that this new guy did and he threatened Drew?" Mac ponders.

"That would be my guess. You think it's the mob? Think they would do this? To Drew? Mac, he's nobody."

"Plausible. If Drew confided in the wrong person; even his cellmate then it wouldn't take long for the mob insider to exploit whatever Drew told them and then use it to their advantage. If Drew threatened to tell on them then the guy probably got desperate and then did what he had to do," Mac finishes and then waits. When a small pause of silence is heard Mac is quick to call Jimmy on it. "What else is bothering you? We will find the name of his cellmate and the reason..."

"There is something else Mac...but..."

"But what?"

"Please just give me your word you won't tell Stella."

"I can't do that Jimmy. She's my wife now and...and she was just as involved with Drew as...hell Jimmy she was the reason Drew was able to track me so fast in the first place. She has the right to know he's dead."

"I have other details that...I just need your word you won't tell anyone else this. You can tell her he hung himself, which he did but..."

"Jimmy his mob dealings are no big de..."

"Mac, Drew was assaulted and raped."

"What?" Mac asks in shock; his world coming to a sudden halt. Assaulted and...he couldn't even bring himself to contemplate in silent thought the last variable. He instantly shook his head; willing the now audible yelling for help to subside, but unable to just push it aside. Not possible; he kept trying to assure his mind; Drew never suffered that kind of humiliation.

"How um...how do you know? Who did it...I mean...damn it Jimmy what do you mean he was, assaulted?" Mac growls.

"I don't have much information. When I went to pick up Drew's things; I was stopped by another prisoner. Before you ask I didn't get his name, the only thing I remember is he was bald and had a Celtic cross tattooed on the back of his neck. He asked who I was; and when I said I was Drew's brother he said that he was subdued and raped by a guard named Maurice."

"But..."

"That's right Mac. The same guard he befriended when he stepped foot into that hellhole. I still think he's joking but...but why make up such a story? Think its all part of the mob coverup? Trying to finger someone else?" Jimmy asks with a heavy sigh; trying to disguise it over another remorseful whimper.

"It um...it could be. If it was something serious then his cellmate would want to point the suspicion to someone else; that is in case someone started to snoop around. What else did Drew say about this Maurice?"

"He said he would always talk to him. He never gave him special treatment or anything but he always made sure that Drew wasn't assigned stuff that was too arduous; got library duty. He said he seemed like an alright guy. Mac what can we do? Anything? I don't believe he hung himself. I mean I know he withdrew and isolated himself and this would give any man reason to pull back and want to commit suicide but...but I just don't believe it."

"Jimmy he um...well if what this guy told you is true then...then he experienced what no man ever should and...I mean it would be plausible for a man to...well to think about suicide...I mean even the strongest man would if he been humbled by such a...a humiliating experience. Maybe he just couldn't live with the shame?"

"Mac I...I don't believe it. Please you have to help me prove otherwise. Please?"

The desperation in Jimmy's voice instantly tugged at Mac's heart and conscience. It's true that he could have reasoned that Drew used his best friend while he stalked him; finally kidnapping him and then setting up an elaborate trap that was intended to kill him and Stella at the same time; that Drew got what he deserved. But no matter the crime; no man deserved to be attacked; to be treated like a piece of worthless meat; his dignity and pride taken in a single act of cowardice and then forcing that man to take his life because he couldn't live with the shame. He couldnt imagine what Drew must have felt; his own mind telling himself he was glad he would never have to face something so degrading and life altering. But now it wasn't time to focus on how he'd deal with things; it was time to focus on a life that was cut short.

"You think Drew was a coward?" Jimmy's voice once again snaps Mac back to reality.

"I...I think he was probably scared and didn't know what the hell to...no he wasn't a coward he...he was just forced to experience a horror no man...no human should and...damn it Jimmy I should have gone to see him. If he would have told me I could have had him moved to another cell; even another holding facility."

"We both failed Mac, I didn't tell you sooner because I wasn't sure Drew wanted me to. Then when he pulled back I um...well if couldn't tell you that my own brother had me cut off. I guess guilt and shame run in the family."

"Well if he didn't tell you then he wouldn't have told me," Mac states with a sour note. "I'm sorry."

"I am too."

Mac leans back in his chair, his eyes wandering down to his left hand that is now curled into a tight fist; his eyes resting on the gleaming band of gold; a symbol that in an instant somewhat soothes his mind and heart. He hears a soft noise at the door and looks up to see Stella standing in the entrance way; his wife; the woman he pledged the rest of his life and future to; the only one he knows will keep him sane until he gets to the bottom of this new nightmare.

"Jimmy, Stella is here and..." his voice softly breaks, prompting Stella to arch a brow in wonder; her eyes looking at him in wonder.

"Please Mac. I'm begging you don't tell her all the details. Let him just rest in peace in dignity. At least somewhat?"

"I give you my word I'll get to the bottom of this and find out what really happened."

"Thanks Mac. Call me when you can," Jimmy finally hangs up just as Stella slowly eases herself into a chair in front of his desk.

Mac studies the peaceful expression on the beautiful face of his wife and feels his anxiety starting to lessen somewhat; her presence always having that effect on him. Over the past two years, since the day they said 'I do' he has been more cognizant of the affect even a smile, a touch or a whispered word has on him. But more so than before; he'll need that now, it'll be her emotional strength that will help him piece together this horrible puzzle.

"Mac what is it?" She asks softly; able to tell that with a simple expression on his face that something was troubling him; something personal. She's known him for over ten years; but the past two she's gotten to know every intimate side of him; even those that he tries to hide away from the rest of the world. As she rounded the corner into his office, she had watched his expression turn from horrified to remorse to regret. Regret? What did he regret?

"Drew Bedford is dead; two weeks ago."

"Two?" She manages in a soft tone. And although she knows inside there is no love loss for Drew Bedford; a man that used her to get to her partner before nearly taking his life; the fact that he was now dead was almost disquieting.

"Jimmy wasn't sure to call me and then got wrapped up with their mother's health and...yeah he's dead."

"Dead? How?"

"He um...he hung himself in prison. That was Jimmy and, well he thinks it was Drew's cellmate who perhaps has mob dealings and blackmailed him and Drew couldn't take it...but he has no proof."

"Did he leave a note?" Stella asks softly.

"Asked Jimmy for forgiveness and that was it. Said he didn't blame me or you in any way. I blame myself now."

"What?"

"I somehow feel responsible Stella. I mean he was in there for the past six months and...and I should have gone at least once. I kept telling myself that he didn't want to see me and that going there would only hinder him but I should have gone. Maybe he would have told me or at least pointed me in the direction of this man. I mean if he was being threatened by..."

"Does Jimmy know for sure it was the mob?"

"No."

"How do you know he didn't just want to end his life? Maybe all the things he did finally took their toll on him and he just snapped one day?" Stella reasons.

"Jimmy said he had talked about making a new start. Stella he was given a second chance and Jimmy said he was excited to take it; that he would wait the few years and then maybe move to LA or something. Then things changed when he got his new cellmate and withdrew and then didn't talk to Jimmy at all and...and then I get Jimmy's call today. What?"

"You sound forgiving," Stella notes.

"I guess I am. Is that bad?"

"It makes you the bigger person," Stella praises with a slight frown. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

"What else is bothering you Mac?"

Drew was raped...he was forced to experience something humiliating...something no man should ever face. But he's not able to actually force his brain to make the words cross his lips.

"Just um...just that."

Both of them sit in silent thought for a few minutes longer before Stella leans over and covers her husband's fingers with her own; giving them a gentle squeeze and offering him a kind smile. "Want to go? Talk more about it at home where you can relax?"

"I will find out the truth Stella," Mac promises her with a firm nod of his head; his brow slightly furrowed. "I owe him that much."

"Mac?"

"I failed to help them once before Stella; I am not going to make that mistake again. I just wish it hadn't come at the cost of his life."

"I know, I would never wish anyone to take their life," she tells him with a heavy sigh. "Well it's almost seven and I think that a fresh start tomorrow would be helpful to both of us."

"Stella, I know how Drew hurt you and I don't want you to..."

"I am helping you with this case and that's final," she states firmly. "Don't make me pull rank Detective Taylor," she lightly warns.

"I'm in charge," Mac arches his brow.

"Only at work," she winks and his face softens.

"Come on Detective Taylor," he tells her as he slowly pushes himself upright; "let's go home and I will gladly allow you to pull rank."

Much like the ride home, however, their dinner time conversation was strained and tense and centered around Drew, his past life and dealings with Mac as a child and then most of the things that Jimmy had told Mac about Drew's stay in the Taylor facility. But true to his word; he didn't tell Stella all the facts surrounding Drew's death; leaving out the bit that he was assaulted, one of the main reasons Jimmy suspects he took his own life. By the time they were getting ready for bed; Mac's mind was so wrapped up in wondering what Drew must have been thinking as he endured his hellish ordeal that he wasn't able to concentrate on his own sexual adventure.

"Mac?"

"I...Stella, I'm sor..." Mac tries, only to have Stella's lips gently brush his. "My mind is not here."

"I know. I'm naked and you can't get it up," she teases.

"Half way doesn't count?" He arches his brows as his lips emit a heavy sigh.

"I know you feel responsible," Stella tries in a soothing tone, her fingers starting to gently massage his tense scalp, his body still on edge and unable to show her what he wants; his member not stiff and erect as with any other normal sexual arousal.

"At least once Stella; I could have gone at least once. Maybe that would have made the difference and he'd be alive right now. I know he tried to kill both of us but...I keep seeing him as little Andy and...I should have gone."

Stella's right hand reaches over and pulls the blanket over both their naked bodies, prompting Mac to look at in wonder. She offers him a loving smile as her lips brush his once more. His left hand snakes behind her head and keeps her lips captive; mostly enjoying the warmth her body was offering.

"I want you to be here in mind and body with me when we make love."

"And I'm not tonight. Do you forgive me?"

"Might punish you tomorrow," she teases as he reaches for the light to turn it off.

"I hope you will," he whispers as he pulls her closer. "I love you Stella."

"I love you too Mac. Talk to me okay. What else is bothering you?"

"I um...well I never told you this before but when we were young; Will, Jimmy and I, we made a pact, to always look after one another. I remember one day after school, Drew, he was Andy back then; he came up to me and asked if he could be part of that pact."

"And when Will was killed..."

"He blamed me; probably telling himself that I broke the pact by not protecting Will at any cost."

"And now you are blaming yourself for not being able to protect Drew at any cost?" She arches a brow in wonder.

"I am. It's not just the pact, I just...just wish I had forced myself to go and see him; make him see that..."

"You couldn't have known that he'd take such drastic measures Mac. I'm sure even Jimmy couldn't have known he would do that; if it wasn't a setup.."

"Jimmy said Drew never told him about anyone threatening him."

"And you cannot blame yourself for not being able to read his mind," Stella gently reminds him.

"I know I, I love you," Mac whispers as he kisses her cheek once more.

"Want to try to get some rest?"

"I guess at this hour we should try," Mac sighs heavily as he flips the switch; bathing both of them in darkness; his arms pulling her close and holding on tightly; his mind once again trying to drown out the screams of help that Drew's voice was now offering. Praying that he would at least drift into a light slumber, Mac knows it's a futile request as his mind keeps flashing images of his own abduction by Drew; waking up in the maze of lasers, Drew's court hearing and then finally Drew being taken away.

'I called for help Mac! You let me down Mac!'

Drew's voice would taunt over and over in his head all night; coupled with the other news that Jimmy had told him.

Drew was assaulted...raped...he hung himself...a coward...ashamed...'

Then the two of them would mix together and soon Mac heard his own voice yelling for help as he was attacked by unseen forces before waking up in a cold sweat.

'HELP ME!'

"Mac?" Stella's soft voice inquires as she turns on the lamp on her side of the bed. She looks at his flushed face; dotted with tiny markings of sweat that is keeping some hair matted to his forehead; the rest poking up in various directions; whatever position the pillowed deemed necessary; his eyes wet with misery. "Nightmare?"

"Keep hearing him calling to me for help," Mac whispers as he slumps back into the mound of pillows and looks up at his wife with a soft frown. "I feel guilty."

"Just don't let that guilt eat away at you or cause you do to something rash."

"Rash?" He arches his brows.

"I know you want to help Drew but...but he's at peace now. Maybe now it's time for us all to move on from this; for good."

"Stella..."

"Mac, I'm not trying to sound callous but we can't do anything about it right now. Let's work on that guilt tomorrow."

Mac looks at her and offers a soft nod in agreement. Not wanting anything cold to drink or to waste any more time worrying about his own mental state; Mac watches Stella turn off the light once more before he delights in her warm naked body pressing up against his. He tries to tell himself that Drew is at peace and maybe that was the only way he could find closure from the pain he ultimately caused himself.

'Mac...'

'What's up Andy?'

'Jimmy he um...well he told me about the pact with you and he and Will.'

'What about it?'

'Well I want to be part of it. I want to be included in that group that will look out for the other until we die.'

'Andy you are too young to think about that kinda stuff.'

'Please Mac? Please let me be part of that pact? That way I'll know you'll be looking out for me...I know I'll always be safe with you looking out for me.'

I...god I'm sorry Drew...Mac's mind laments in sorrow as he pictures Drew as Andy, a small boy full of hope and promise; a future once bright and full of undiscovered possibilities. But that future is quickly darkened as his mind then flashes images of Drew being tied down; his lungs yelling for help as his life is destroyed. Mac feels his eyes water, his fingers gently moving to his face and quickly brushing them away; not wanting to wake Stella with any further tormented memories or images.

I'm sorry Drew, Mac's mind finally offers before he forces himself to think back two years ago to their wedding; his mind finally picking one happy moment, their first dance as husband and wife and allows him to dwell on that for the remainder of the night; morning coming all too soon.

XXXXXXXX

"Are you going to be okay today?" Stella asks in wonder as they head toward the lab. She didn't have to see his face to know how much his sleep was affected; how his mind was in turmoil all night; a constant battle between what he could have done and what he failed to do. She had felt his body tense when he turned and heard his whispered curses when she was sure his mind showed him images of Drew's body being found in his cell. What she didn't know was the extent to the horrors that his mind was offering; the dark nature of the real reason behind Drew Bedford's demise.

"I'll be fine," he answers in half truth; his fingers trying to give hers a small comforting squeeze for reassurance that he's going to be okay. He knows she doesn't believe him; but is thankful that she doesnt call him on it, his mind taking some small reprieve in the silent strength she is offering. "I'll just keep busy today."

In truth she knows he'll put on his brave face for the rest of the world to see; locking away the guilt and pain she knows he has from telling himself that he could have done something to stop Drew from taking such drastic measures. But she knows that there was nothing Mac could have done; Drew probably wouldnt have told him anyways.

"Will you?" He asks in concern; knowing how she hated Drew for using her to try to hurt him; not to mention the pictures he had of her; an invasion of her personal privacy.

"I'm oddly at peace. I guess its closure in many ways for me," she states with sigh; absently staring out the window with a frown. The rest of the ride to the lab is spent talking about Drew's childhood and what else his cellmate might have threatened him with.

"I'll finish up the Simpson evidence from yesterday and I'll see you later," Stella tells Mac as they linger in the hallway outside his office. "But if you need me to help with anything you let me know."

"First button on speed dial," he replies in haste.

"See you soon."

He gives her a tight lipped smile; the corner of his eye picking up Don Flack heading in their direction. And true to her suspicion; as soon as Flack approaches, Mac is all business; his shield once again proving that Mac Taylor doesn't seem affected by the common emotions of the everyday man.

"I um heard about Drew Bedford," Flack starts; Stella already taken her leave. "You okay?"

"Jimmy's worse than I am. I just wish I could have helped with something."

"Such as?"

"Even just one visit might have helped him."

"If he even wanted your help," Flack replies.

"Now you sound like Stella," Mac quips and Flack nods his head. "Can you find the name of Drew's cellmate?"

"You don't think it was suicide?"

"Just a name Don, that's all I ask."

"Sure. I have to go out to Rikers anyway. Got a call about another inmate who hung himself last night. When did Drew die?"

"Two weeks ago. I can't fault Jimmy for not calling sooner. I um...well it's over and that's that."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Drew he was...yeah I'm fine."

"Mac?" Flack presses a bit more.

Mac looks at his friend and frowns. Can I tell Don and not my wife and partner? He would understand Jimmy wanting discretion; he's a guy. Stella...oh damn I can't tell him and not her.

"Just get me that name Don; I'll do the rest."

"You thinking blackmail?"

"Jimmy thinks so. Apparently Drew had a line on a whole other life andand sounded like he was going to take it. If he was squeezed then I just want to know if there is something we can do. Just a name Don, I'll take it from there."

"Okay well I gotta run. This call...actually I think it was one of yours."

"Who?"

"Larry Galley?"

"Larry...he was..." Mac's mind thinks back.

'I didn't kill my wife Detective Taylor. I am being framed by my partner.'

'I give you my word if you are telling me the truth I will find out and work to secure your freedom.'

"Right he was the guy that came forward after six months and claimed his partner set him up. Said the first CSI team didn't process the evidence properly."

"He was right. Vincent Bosco killed his wife," Mac frowns. "I proved that two days ago and am just waiting on a bunch of legal...wait he's your call?" Mac asks in dread; the sudden realization of Flack's earlier words finally hitting him. "He's dead also?"

'Detective. Did you find something?'

'I did Larry. I was able to match Vincent's prints with the murder weapon. We are just awaiting a court order for his arrest and your appeal. It'll take a few days but you are now a free man.'

'I have been waiting in this hell hole for six months; a few more days won't kill me...won't kill me...kill me...'

"Mac?" Flack's voice instantly breaks him from his thoughts; forcing Mac's tormented gaze to lock with his. "I'm sorry Mac."

"I gave him my word Don. I swore to him that he was innocent and gave him my word I would grant his freedom," Mac lightly snaps. "What the hell is going on? Two suicides in two weeks?"

"What do you mean what is going on? You think someone killed this Larry Galley fellow and made it look like a suicide? Why? For what reason?"

"Maybe the same guy that got to Drew Bedford; maybe for the same reason."

"Prisoners kill themselves all the time Mac."

"I think they are both connected."

"Okay now, you're grasping at straws," Flack states with a slight shake of his head. "I know we don't believe in coincidences but these two didn't exactly hang in the same social circles."

"They were in the same cell block in the same prison Don, they probably had no choice when it came to friends. Drew overhears something, something that could get him into trouble and wants to tell someone. He tells Larry and then goes to his cellmate, threatens to tell on what he knows and this guy arranges his death. He finds out Larry knows what Drew does and then takes out the final threat."

"Again, I ask for what reason?"

"Just find me the name of Drew's cellmate and see if he had any contact with Larry or the mob."

With that Mac turns on his heel and heads toward his office; flipping on his computer and then calling up the database, first name to look up Drew Bedford. But as he looks up the name of the man he used to play with as a kid; another man's face pops into his mind, further adding to his already mounting mental anguish.

'I asked for you Detective Taylor because I know how much justice means to you. Please help me, I didn't kill my wife. I loved her; she was my life. Now I'm alone and always will be.'

'Mr. Galley I hear that plea on almost on a daily basis; do you want to know how many of them are usually lying just to get a second chance at doing it all again?'

'Please...I loved my wife. I was out of town. My partner Vincent did it. He works in the same chemical lab as me and could easily extract my fingerprints. He had motive andthe first team didn't do all their homework. Please Detective Taylor. If you just follow this one leadcheck the safe you'll find what you need there. Please?'

And that was all it took; Mac followed the lead, it was true and the rest led to the tentative early release date of Larry Galley. However, that was short lived as he too hung himself; telling the world he was sorry and that was it. As soon as he closes his eyes; Mac's mind is now filled with voices and images. Jimmy scolding him for allowing his brother to die; Drew's voice begging for help before he's tied up and assaulted; Larry's voice telling him he went against his word and failed and Stella's voice telling him there was nothing he could do to prevent any of it from happening.

"I have to make amends for both of them," Mac mutters angrily under his breath. He pulls up Drew's file and then does a cross reference with Larry Galley. The fact that they hung themselves in jail wasn't enough to start an investigation; prisoners died in jail every day; he needed more. A solid motive; mob blackmail was what he was looking for. But then something else caught his eye; an entry in Larry's file that stated he wanted only his 'friend' cellblock guard Maurice Wicks to handle his private correspondence. This was the same man that Drew had befriended and trusted. Wicks it seems also befriended Larry the first day he arrived. Was Wicks also on the take? He certainly wouldn't be the first public servant to come onto the payroll of a well funded crime family. But what did both Drew and Larry have on Wicks that warranted their deaths?

"I sent Larry a note...telling him about his release...damn it!" Mac curses as he runs a search under Maurice Wicks name and how many other inmates he was supposedly 'friends' with and then how many of those ended their lives in suicides. An hour later Mac's anxiety has grown to the point that his stomach is tight and his mind racing.

"Five others in just under a year. All of them had been the same as Drew and Larry in for around six months before they supposedly committed suicide," he ponders as his fingers nervously drum on the desk beside the mouse; his eyes still fixed on the search results on the computer screen before him. He leans back in his chair, his fingers moving from the spot beside the mouse to the speaker button on the phone; a moments pause before he finally presses it down and then starts to dial.

"Don, did you find anything on Drew's cellmate?"

"Name is Trevor Graham. Well he's got a tie to the Cuistado family; a bit part but enough of a part to threaten someone like Drew Bedford with," Flack relays with a heavy sigh. "I can start an investigation into that if you'd like."

"Might have a bigger problem."

"Such as?"

"By any chance have you seen a bald guy with a Celtic cross on the back of his neck?"

"Odd you should ask," Flack answers.

"Why?"

"A guy fitting that description came and told me that he has information on one of the guards."

"This information...it...well does it have to do with this guard assaulting certain male prisoners and..."

"Raping them?" Flack finishes. "Yes why?"

"I think I know who that guard might be."

"This guy didn't name names Mac."

"Did he describe Maurice Wicks?"

"Well he gave me a description but I didn't meet this Wicks fellow. Have his picture ready for me when I get back and I'll let you know who he described. You think that happened to Larry and Drew?"

"Jimmy said that when he went to get Drew's things the guy with the tattoo approached him and told him that his so called friend turned on him and I guess wanted something more than just a few minutes conversation. Jimmy said Drew's only friend was a guard named Maurice. Even more disturbing is the fact that Larry Galley also befriended the same guard."

"Mac, that tattoo guy told me that the guy who died last night was also assaulted by Maurice Wicks. He said he saw it happen a few times to a few others; knows where Wicks takes them; how he subdues them, who else might help, his pattern of who he befriends and a few other things."

"Damn it Don. What the hell is going on in there?"

"Maybe it's not the mob; maybe that is just a convenient front?" Flack ponders. "Everyone knows that the mob could use blackmail to get to anyone."

"Will this guy testify to that?"

"Well I asked him if he'd be willing to put his name on a testimony sheet in return for a reduced sentence and he told me to pound sand and walked away; wouldn't even give me his name. We could arrest Wicks on suspicion," Flack suggests.

"That would only transfer the problem from one place to another," Mac growls. "If this bastard is indeed befriending certain prisoners, for whatever reason, assaulting them and then arranging their deaths I want this stopped for good."

"How Mac? Anyone who was assaulted by Maurice Wicks is dead and the only person that can corroborate that theory won't come forward with any kind of written statement. We have nothing; only conjecture and we can't even go to the judge that..."

"Don, what is it?" Mac inquires after a few seconds pause; his mind racing that his friend has now remembered some other pertinent information; no matter how disturbing it might be.

"Mac did you do a search on which guard was assigned to which inmates that died?"

"I did why?"

"How about the judge that presided over each of those sentences?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Franklin Wicks is Maurice's brother. He'd know the type; loners, chip on their shoulder, claiming they're innocent and whatever. I mean it's another theory but..."

"But it seems to fit the profile."

"I mean unless both Drew and Larry overheard the mob hit of the century there would be no reason to put that much effort into arranging their deaths. If this Maurice fellow did um...assault them, and they finally stood up to him and said they were going to tell on him then he would have motive and means to get alone with them and arrange their deaths in whatever means he wanted. That we can investigate."

"We can't let them continue to get away with this Don."

"We?"

"I owe them Don; not just Larry and Drew; but the five others that the system failed to help in the past year."

"What are you planning?"

"I'll talk to you later. I have a meeting to take."

XXXXXXXX

"Are you serious?" Stella's voice raises a few pitches as she faces Mac in the small meeting room; the door closed for privacy.

He knew going to her would result in a strained conversation; a mild showdown at best. But in truth she was more than his partner; she was his best friend; his soul mate and his sounding board whenever he needed a reason for some undertaking that would also affect her life and their future together. But as soon as he told her, he knew it would be an uphill battle for both of them.

"Stella, I gave my word to Larry; he was one day away from freedom. He wouldn't take his life. And Drew was..."

"You going undercover, trying to flesh out someone who works for the Cuistado crime family is just stupid. If these guys do have someone on the inside who is able to blackmail them and then arrange their deaths what are you going to do?" Stella queries; her questions based on the information Mac had given her; leaving out the part of the alleged assaults, not able to quite yet quantify the word of another inmate who could just be looking to cause trouble or throw suspicion off the crime family by pointing fingers at someone else.

But inside Mac knows he can't just leave it at the word of someone else; he has to find out for himself if indeed Drew was targeted by a vicious monster; ruining his dignity before falsifying his death. Rape and murder; two things he hates the most. Going undercover seemed like a desperate act, but one he knew he had to try; the only chance was going inside; searching for a monster with insider knowledge.

"As soon as the blackmail threat comes through then I'll be pulled. Stella I'll be wired and..."

"How Mac? Because when you go into...damn it you can't do this," she groans as she runs two hands through her curls, not caring if she's messing them more; her mind and heart racing with the terrible knowledge that her beloved partner and husband could be walking into a death trap that was already set. "They'll know you."

"I won't be going in as Mac Taylor and I have never had personal dealings with Franklin Wicks or any of any of the guards and I'll be in a cell block where I haven't put anyone away. They won't know me."

"General population?"

"I'll be careful."

"Why are you even asking me what I think? You obviously sound like you have your mind made up," she glares at him with a frustrated expression.

"I am asking because the only thing that is going to keep me sane in there is the knowledge that you are behind me one hundred percent," Mac states in no uncertain terms.

"I'm always behind you Mac; just don't expect me always to like what I am backing one hundred percent."

"Larry was innocent Stella."

"Drew wasn't!" Stella snaps, turning around, her right hand on her hip and left on her forehead.

Mac studies her tense posture before moving in a bit closer; his hands gently resting on her shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze. Her eyes close; squeezing tightly as if it's the last time she'll feel his touch on her skin; his breath on her face; his voice in her ears.

"Don't go Mac," she whispers in torment, her voice breaking and her body about to collapse.

"I wish there was another way Stella, but there isn't," he whispers as he holds her close; not wanting to let go until she felt she was ready.

"There has to be."

"Not if we are to stop this guy. Don can't go in because he was there today and I'm not about to send in Danny or Sheldon. I have worked in much tenser situations in the past and..."

"Were you married then?" Stella asks in a tormented whisper and Mac's face offers an automatic wince of remorse.

"Stella?"

"You don't get it do you Mac? I'm not just talking to my professional partner; you are my husband. It's a little different to say of course I have your back and then go home and just get on with my life; you are my life! You live in my home; our home. When I'm alone at home, safe I might add and youd...amn it Mac you weren't married when you were in the marines."

"I thought of that and...of course this is going to affect me Stella; I'll be in there and you out here and..."

"I'll be safe Mac. Can you assure me the same thing?" She asks firmly.

"I will be fine," Mac states fatefully.

"Mac..."

"Stella, there are seven men in total that lost their lives; most likely in an unwitting manner; murdered for no reason; for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's true that, outside of Larry all were guilty of something, but they deserved to spend their time not die...well the way they did. Now they all 'allegedly' had affiliations with inmates who had criminal dealings with organized crime; but they had no dealings with them outside of prison. These guys were targeted on the inside only. They also all had the same 'friend' in one of the prison guards and were sentenced by the same Judge. I have some whispers from the inside that their deaths were staged for another purpose. That person won't come foreword..."

"Because they want to live," are the tormented words that escape her lips. "Will you be safe?"

"I won't have someone with me twenty-four/seven if that's what you are asking."

"Alone and vulnerable."

"Stella."

"You know I don't play the emotional worried wife card very often, especially at work, but I am going to in this case. I'm scared to death for you."

"I'll be wearing a camera."

"How?"

"Glasses," Mac states as Stella slowly turns around to face him.

"When?"

"Flack is on his way back and I'm going to talk to Sinclair and...Stella I need to know if you..." he starts only to have her quickly press her mouth to his and silence him with a hungry kiss; pulling back a few breathless seconds later, both of them thankful they picked a room with now windows and a closed door.

"I love you Stella Taylor, that is what is going to help me get this done," he assures her with a firm tone, his forehead resting on hers.

"I love you more than anything Mac Taylor and am always behind you. Come and find me after you talk to Sinclair."

Mac allows his eyes to remain locked with hers for what seems like an eternity before he offers her a soft nod and then turns and leaves, opening the door, his heart racing and his mind in turmoil. Stella watching in anguish, her heart racing the same speed as his and her mind in a dizzying downward spiral.

Mac was going undercover; undercover on his own, no backup, no one on the inside watching his back at every turn; he'll be alone and cut off from her. She feels her stomach tighten further; her fingers grasping the closes chair, forcing her to remain upright as the room starts to lightly spin. Her eyes threaten to water and her chest heaves painfully as her brain forces her to hear Mac's voice calling to her for help.

"Mac..." she whispers in misery as a single tear finally escapes. She quickly brushes it away and swallows hard, telling herself the day was far from over and she still had a job to do; she had to gather whatever information she could on the organization behind the man her husband was going to risk his life to take down; never realizing that her information would be in vain, the man her husband was targeting was capable of inflicting pain far worse than a simple bullet between the eyes.

She slowly heads back into the hallway and gazes at his empty office; her heart racing.

Mac, what are you doing? Her mind wonders in misery.

XXXXXXXX

A Few Days Later

"Name."

"Mark Travers," Mac mumbles, his glare angry and his posture tense; his heart rate flirting with critical. He stands before the prison admitting desk with a tight stomach; his mind racing as to what he really had gotten himself into. But the minute the false name crosses his lips, he knows there is no going back; he's trapped and must see his mission through to completion, no matter the obstacles that are yet to come.

"Empty your possessions into this."

Mac takes his fake wallet, key to a rental apartment, a cigarette lighter, a small flask of whiskey; leaving his specially fitted glasses with camera in them on his face and the dog tags around his neck. Normally not obeying an authority figure would be out of the question; however in this case, it was warranted even encouraged; all part of the cover story that made up Mark Travers; small time crook, finally booked on the murder of a bar tender, but always claiming that he was framed.

"Tags too. Move your good for nothing ass Travers!"

Mac looks at one of the guards and offers a slight sneer, hesitating to move.

"Oh an individual huh?" One of them growls as they near Mac.

Not normally a man to be intimidated; Mac knows if it was one on one, he could easily overpower the man coming up on his right; baton or not. But in this arena, no friendly faces looking on; no one to watch his back and not really fancying a beating in the first few minutes of his incarceration, he pulls back and starts to make a move to remove his tags.

"Bastard," Mac mutters under his breath.

"Just watch your ass Travers. Now follow officer Wicks for the rest of your welcome home package," the administrator offers Mac a twisted smile; a smile that sends instant shivers up his entire being, his mind racing with thoughts as to who else Wicks had on his team; who else took pleasure in helping Wicks destroy the lives of men in such an undignified manner.

"Okay now strip," he's commanded, his core on fire and his head almost light; the bridge of his nose offering greasy sweat beneath the dark glasses that make up part of his cover.

When in the marines he was used to being in close quarters with other men; even in intimate situations such as showers or the medical chamber. But when he starts to slowly undress he feels his anxiety skyrocketing; even more so when Maurice Wicks arranges a small mirror so that he's able to see all that Mac has to offer. In the marines, the other men never looked at him the way Wicks was; never made him feel as if they were examining him in a way that was reserved for his wife alone.

Give me strength Stella, his mind begs in earnest as he quickly moves himself out of the line of sight, his brain offering a sigh of relief when his ears pick up a soft curse from Wick's voice; that he's no longer the object of his visual fascination. Just the thought of another man watching with vested interest makes his stomach tighten and he wonders how he'll be able to endure the coming days; especially knowing that he'll be putting himself in the way of a man that he is under the assumption wants more than just a benign friend.

"Hey four eyes, spectacles also!" The other guard taunts as he slowly walks up to Mac with a black baton in his hand; Mac standing before him in only his underwear, his posture firm; his brain warning him to stand down, it's not the time for a fight. Once again the man's eyes start to examine Mac's nearly naked frame, a slow smile spreading across is evil lips; the tip of his tongue almost licking his lips in anticipation.

His mind once again races with thoughts of doubt; his brain wondering what he had gotten himself into? What had he volunteered to do? Wondering how he'd actually be able to corner his intended target; a man now watching him; a man he knows takes much delight in the sexual destruction of other men. I can do this; he tries to tell himself as he flinches as the man nears him, his heart now beating painfully in his chest.

'Mac I only want you in there a week; two at the most,' Sinclair had stated. 'Seek out who you need, get what you want and then get out.'

"I can't see without them."

"Hear you was in the army."

"Ammunition blast to the eyes; was temporarily blinded; I can't see without them," Mac tries again; hoping they'll buy it.

"Ain't that interesting," the man before him nods to the man behind him.

"Can I keep them on?"

"Fine. Just hurry up and change already."

Mac takes the orange prison uniform, white undershirt, socks and shoes; heading to another corner and changing quickly; the feeling of the two sets of male eyes watching his every move starting to undermine his normally calm exterior. Once he's dressed, he's roughly pulled into the main hallway; his body once again seizing as he's escorted down a hallway with barred prisoners on one side; some watching with interest, some with disdain, others with judging eyes and others with hungry ulterior motives. The other side; a wall, barren and devoid of hope; feelings and emotions that were coursing through his entire being.

"Cellblock D3. Welcome to your new home for the next few years," Mac is told as he's slapped firmly on the back. He hears the whistles; the names and the veiled taunts, his mind racing with new doubts and fears.

Mac gazes into the semi-dark cell before him and feels his fists tighten around the clean bed linen clutched firmly in his grasp. What the hell have I gotten myself into? His mind races with new found fear. He's not claustrophobic by nature; having done survival training that included confined space extraction. But this was different; this place was starting to close in on him because of his own inner fears and growing doubts. Can I do this without failing?

He takes a step forward and then another into the small, suffocating space; his heart beating painfully in his chest; his lungs having difficulty finding fresh air; his stomach wanting to give up whatever was leftover from breakfast; his feet feeling like cement beneath him.

'I'll always be with you Mac,' Stella had promised.

But as the door starts to slowly close, her voice fades; quickly replaced by the beating of his heart, about to burst his ear drums.

'Just remember how much I love you Mac.'

"Welcome to hell Travers," one of the guards laughs as he slaps Mac hard on the back; prompting Mac to slowly turn around; his gaze coming to face forward just as the metal doors clang shut; his freedom taken away by his own doing. "Your new BFF will be along shortly. Oh yeah I'm sure you and him are going to get on just fine," Wicks turn to laugh. "Yeah he's gonna like you but maybe not as much as me."

"Pardon?"

"Don't worry Mark, you and I are going to become good friends."

Mac tells himself to show no fear as he tries to swallow; unable to get past the large lump that has now formed in his throat his mind racing with a million different questions.

Did I do the right thing? What if Drew actually did kill himself? Could I have been mistaken? How far would I go for a case? What will I have to face in here? What if I make Stella a widow? What if I fail? What else is going to happen?

A/N: So what did you think? In the next chapter there will be flashbacks to Sinclair and Stella and the sentencing so please be patient. Want to see what Mac has to face? Overcome? Deal with? How will Stella cope? Help Mac? All that and much more will be answered as we embark on this adventure. Not sure how many chapters this will be but have a bit planned so please let me know if I should continue or shelve.

This story will not go into graphic details of the assaults themselves; please don't ask for that as the focus of the story is the trap, the coping and aftermath. This story is not meaning to offend and don't worry our Mac is not a victim (you know I couldn't do that to my beloved Mac eek!) but he will experience a very traumatic event! So if you know my M stuff already you know there are no overly graphic descriptions. Besides if I can't read overly graphic assault details you know I am NOT going to write them and obviously no Stella harm.

Okay so you know how much I love Mac but this is a story that is going to play with the mental aspect of fears and doubts and how far justice has to go or one man's quest for vengeance. And it will also deal with how a strong person, who is temporarily weakened (in his case mentally) rises from a bleak situation and can face the world on their terms with renewed strength and determination. Of course with the love and strength of Stella with him every step of the way. But this story will be angsty and deal with a lot of emotional conflict and marital bonding through psychological and physical trials. But I cannot tell you more or it'll give the story away. If you need to ease your mind please PM me. I have dealt with this topic in my profession but since its fiction will not cross the boundaries and any OC names are purely coincidental.

If you want to flame; please just leave, its very grade 2 and you have been warned. To the rest, I hope you'll give it a chance and please review before you go. I am extremely nervous about even going further as this is way out of my comfort writing zone so please be kind.

~End of long author's note (gosh that was almost a mini story in itself) sorry!