Author's note: I hope you enjoy this week's addition! :D Sorry it was a little late…I am now working on top of being a full time college student. Whew! Lol

Dedication: To all of my fans! Thanks for the 3300+ views!

Fan of the Chapter: DeanBeans13 Your review was hilarious and I just had to dedicate this chapter to you!

**Challenge: After reading, please leave a review! Also, I am wanting to write a FanFic for one of my readers. If you can guess my favorite character aside from Grimmjow, you win! If you win I will write about any of your favorite parings~! :) **

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I just own the ideas is all!

Rating: M

Warnings: Cursing, Blood/gore

Warnings(future): This is a YAOI, it will have steam~ I promise. Be patient as the story develops kiddies~

Chapter 6: Encounter

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"Now? Grimmjow are you out of your mind?" Renji took a deep breath before he laid into me again and again about going after Ichigo. Pacing in front of me, up and down the room, I swear he was going to make my ass dizzy. If that was even possible. Tomato, tamato I suppose. "There is no way-" He began until he gripped his temples and continued, "We can't do it…now."

"And why the hell not?" Getting my ass off the ground, I stood over Renji and bore down on him; my growled response seemed to make him take a step back. His eyes widened at my seriousness of the matter at hand; his hand instinctually went to the hilt of his sword as he stared up at me. This little action of his made my growl turn into an all out snarl, "And what are you going to do to me Soul Reaper?"

"Back off Grimmjow…" He uttered while returning a grunt, his left hand now on the scabbard, right ready to draw his Zanpakto in a moment's notice. "-Calm down."

"Who are you to tell me to calm down?" I hissed in response, my anger gauge rising, "Ichigo is fucking close! Or are you fucking deaf?"

"I heard you, you damn idiot!" He yelled back, "But what can we do right now?"

"The fuck do you mean? Wasn't that the whole reason I was brought here? Kept alive? To find HIM?"

"I don't fucking know why you are alive! I don't know why Ichigo took care of you and I don't fucking care! It's not like I took care of you! Damnit!" He threw up his hands and wailed like a banshee by now, "I don't know your purpose here just as much as you! But Ichigo is like nothing I've ever seen…or fought!" He grew quiet as something within me was beginning to boil and seethe, I felt like a freaking smoking volcano…just keep pushing my buttons Renji. I DARE you. "He is…"

"A monster." I growled as I remembered the hollow-like being had I seen within the dream entwined with memories. The way Renji was speaking to me made me feel just like Ichigo in the sense, that this label was just slapped down upon us with no will or say. Ha, I guess we were just wild animals after all. This little outburst of mine had made Renji shut up for a few moments until he roared back at me-.

"He's not a monster!"

"Still denying the fact that he and I are alike I see?" Were we really? Was that boy I had fought with back in Hueco Mundo the same as now? How different had he become that would make Renji act in such a way? Something had obviously had happened…something big in my absence.

That little reply of mine seemed to make him bust a nut which in turn made him jump clear across the room and grab me by the collar, "HE IS NOTHING LIKE YOU!" He hissed as he attempted to get me to cave in some sort of way. My cocked grin, told him something otherwise.

"Then explain to me Renji… what you call him then?" I had asked him in response to this; I knew that I was pushing his buttons now. An eye for an eye I suppose. Or could it be I was just being an ass? …..Nah of course not.

"I-!" He couldn't continue, his voice stopped dead, and he realized, he had nothing to say in return to my question. His eyes were wide with some sort of shock or realization to this, his clenched fists and down cast look made me wonder what he had seen.

Letting out a deep, annoyed sigh, I grunted and ran one of my hands through my hair, "We have to go find him. I can sense his reiatsu."

Renji bit his lip and remained silent, it was his dreary silence was just pissing me off more and more as each second ticked by. I was ready to find Ichigo, repay my debt and be done with this whole damn operation of being the good guy. I wanted everything to go back to normal. But…could that really happen?

Did I even want to return to the person I was back then?

Finally having enough of this, I growled and stuck my index in his face-"Fine, if you are too scared to face him I'll go by myself! 'Yer fuckin' pathetic." Turning around, I was true to my word and began to go in the direction of this feeling…this aura that even made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Did even I want to go against this alone? And not to mention…I was barely even alive 24 hours ago. Shit I mean really…I hardly even could move then too. Which reminded me…I needed to kill Nel one of these days for that 'lovely' wake up call.

"HEY!" Breaking away from my thoughts, I turned to see Renji right behind me, he looked…well, rather ticked. Probably that last comment I left. Good ole' Grimmy always has to get the last say right? And that, my friends, was a way of thinking has gotten me into plenty of trouble over the years. Wouldn't have it any other way I suppose.

Rolling my eyes, I grunted, "What do you want? You obviously don't have the balls to go and find Ichigo yourself. Don't tell me you have a change of heart all of a sudden- or maybe you spontaneously grew a pair when I was unaware?"

I turned my head and I kept walking at this point, Renji would be of no use to me if he were shaking like one of those small ass dogs that are scared of anything and everything when we went up against Ichigo. Damn those things were annoying. Especially those…Taco Bell looking dogs. Ugh. "I expected more from you, Soul Reaper."

"More of what? What do you want me to say? That I want to fight Ichigo?" I could visibly see Renji grinding his teeth, his hands in clenched fists. But his shaking had yet to stop…he was so contradictory. Looking fierce on the outside, and frightened beyond imagination on the in. Humph, I could smell his fear a mile away.

"Look at you," I grunted, stopping my stride, "Yer' trembling like a child just at the mere thought of facing him. Are you that scared of your so called friend? Why is it against me you just stand still like nothing is wrong? What is stopping me from turning on you and the entire faction you represent?" It was true? I could turn on them in a heartbeat…the only one I owed anything to was Ichigo. To this red head I owed nothing.

"What is stopping you?" He asked dangerously, his eyes sharp, "Go ahead Grimmjow...just try to turn on us." If that wasn't a dare slapping me across the face I didn't know what was.

Renji just made a very big mistake.

"Do you think you are high and mighty soul reaper?" I hissed, my eyes growing dark and angry. "How dare you test me…"

As if seeing what he had done, Renji tried to back up, but it was too late, my thoughts were all on him; and proving to him that I was my own boss and owner. That I could do whatever the hell I wanted. "Grimmjow…" He began, his voice low, "Don't."

"Something tells me you are trying to make an enemy about me." I approached him, growing closer and closer- the hatred and malice growing in the core of my being. I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to be strong and…and what? All of these questions…without so many answers also added towards me frustrations. I was tired…so very tired of it all, already.

As I approached, Renji readied himself and held steadfast to his sword and scabbard- Ready to draw. Again. "Stay back Grimmjow." He uttered, not answering my question about making me an enemy.

Stepping before him, I could feel something within me snap as my fingers instantly snaked around his neck, a broad smile then tugged at the corners of my mouth. My growls became something like laughing hysteria, "You think you scare me? I am superior! You…you groveling worm are nothing!" My voice sounded so...evil now…so angry. Like the monster I was, my voice could even make Aizen turn and run. The way I sounded, I couldn't help but be…scared.

Of myself.

What was a monster?

Was a monster what children are scared of under their beds? Was a monster what hid in the closet? Was it something that made dreams become nightmares?

What was I?

Was this a nightmare?

Continuing with this, I dug my fingers into his throat, even in my gigai, I could feel my powers begin to surge, and the tighter and tighter my grip grew. "You think you Soul Reaper filth have any jurisdiction over me?" I sneered with some sort of jovial malevolence, "I was spared on a whim! A whim both you and that damned Ichigo will regret!"

What was I doing…?

Honestly, even I had no idea what in the holy bloody freakin' hell I was doing. But for some reason, a wave of emotion trampled over my reason. I felt…was it truly? What was this feeling that felt like it literally crawled and slithered up my spine up into my head? Now in the confines of my mind, I could feel it slowly and then rapidly taking over my body. This…fear drove me nearly mad. Fear for what? For Ichigo? For me? My own fear must have turned to a furious anger; my rational side knew that Renji deserved maybe half of this, but the spark of fear that welled in his eyes brought me an ease for some sick reason I couldn't understand.

He pushed me away, well at least he tried, "Let go of me!" He choked out, as he grew more desperate to get away from me. What sort of desperation was it, however?

"I can comply with that." I heard myself answer as I threw him; he landed with a sick thud against the wall that made me internally cringe.

The red head, even still, held a fire in his eyes when he picked himself off the ground, that reminded me of the orange head. It made my blood heat up and my thoughts take a turn that only made my mind go into another state of chaos. "So, you do want to fight me! To make an enemy out of me! Admit it Soul Reaper! You never trusted me and never will!"

Without a second thought, Renji removed his sword from his scabbard and pointed it straight at me; his eyes held some sort of emotion that I couldn't quite deduce. What exactly was he feeling? It surly didn't look like fear anymore. And that damn right pissed me off! He should be scared! Scared of me! Why the fuck wasn't he? Why wasn't he showing me his fear anymore?

Who was saying that within me?

Me? Or…me?

"Where?" I could feel my energy swirling, gnawing and lashing out now. Almost looking like blue flames, it built up and grew around me. Nearly engulfing the room, the flames consumed everything in its path, and without warning, it struck out, sending Renji flying backwards and, forcing to ground him. "Where is your fear?" I roared at him, "Show me! Show me your fear!" Taking out the glove I pushed myself out of the damned gigai; when I emerged I felt…empowered. I felt like the old Grimmjow.

No…Something wasn't right. I felt…wrong.

But why didn't I like the return of my powers as they surfaced? The return of my old demon like self…was awkwardly unwelcomed. Where was my giddiness and readiness to fight? It felt as if it were gone like a sheet to the wind. If that made any fucking sense. I was alive…I was here. And didn't want to fight. Ha, the old me would have a kick out this. I can hear myself now:

"Who the fuck are you?" I'd say to the me now. "The hell is wrong with you? You don't want to fight? Ha! That's fucking funny!"

Earlier I had wished for my powers to return, but now I felt as if they were a hindrance; as if I didn't want them.

"The fuck you saying?" My past me roared, "Are you insane? Maybe being asleep for so damn long has fucked you up beyond repair!"

Maybe that was true. I was different. Something had changed.

This feeling left me…hollow (irony?). It was an emptiness that made me want to scream out…to attack? To attack what? The red head before me? Did it really matter who? Or was it that there was so much more that I was missing? Who did I want to scream out to?

Him? To Ichigo? To the boy from my memories?

The Soul Reaper, still on his knees, looked up at me with eyes that forced me stop and just stare, I felt so with held by those eyes. They said much more than his words ever could. Monster. Devil. Demon. Fiend. Each meant the same thing; each made me writhe with some sort of self loathing. The look made me wish something that I had never thought of before…maybe more than anything I wanted my humanity back. I wanted to be with…him.

Who was I?

Who was Grimmjow?

"I'll make you pay for that…" Renji whispered as he stood, "Roar…ZABIMARU!" He shouted as his sword lengthened and came towards me, faster than I had anticipated. It grazed my shoulder when I had dodged it- sending the sword crashing through one of the walls. Retracting back, he flash-stepped forward and swung again-colliding with my own sword. He roared and pushed his sword with all his might. Why was he fighting? I wondered as I searched his eyes for answers. Was it all for Ichigo? Was he only defending his friend…? Who was Ichigo to me…other than my savior? Why was I fighting?

Did I really want to be here? Why was I saved?

Without warning, he jumped back, and within the same second he sent his sword flying towards me again, I parried, but I felt lifeless with each blow that I blocked or countered. The strength I backed up in my sword was nothing. It was as if I was being drained by my own uncertainties. Fan-fucking-tastic right?

Really, before I even knew it, Renji was nearly in my face, pressing his sword to my neck. "You son of a bitch…I knew it. You're nothing but a damned Hollow! I knew Ichigo was wrong to save you!"

Growling, I glared down at him, "You know…" I took the sword with my hand and began to push it away, "I agree with you." Somewhere between the madness, I had calmed down, my actions my own.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

My voice became quiet for a few moments, my blood began to coat the blade as Renji tried pushing it back to my neck; I didn't know what to say at this point. I didn't even know what to do. I had basically just told Renji that I wanted death. That I needed it. Ichigo had no right to save me…to take care of me. My thoughts went to the boy, who had promised to protect me…and that I would protect him. "I've failed…" I whispered, my eyes went to Renji's, "You're right."

Confused, the Soul Reaper gritted his teeth and pushed his sword harder, "What are you mumbling about?"

My strength drained, I could feel the sword getting closer and closer to my throat, and for some reason- I allowed it, nor did I care as my death drew nearer. If that girl…Orihime was right, I would become a human. Did I want to become human? Closing my eyes, my inner demons began to scream and cry out; my hollow side began to screech and roar at me to rethink what I was doing. The problem was…I was thinking.

At the cost of losing my memories and my power, I would gladly give my power. However, I would give everything except the memories of my human friend. To find him was all that kept me going. So, until I found him as an Arrancar…no an Espada. Ex or not, I was one of the top dogs and there was no way I could be put down now. Not now…

I had to find him.

I had to find Ichigo.

I had a debt to pay and damnit I will not go down until I did both of those things!

With renewed energy, my gashed hand pushed Renji back- My eyes opened and held a new light. A new fire that gave fuel to the power that rushed out of me as Spikes tried to withstand my massive strength gain. I felt like a fire that was kindled with a barrel of gasoline dumped on it. I could feel my power grow as Renji gazed back at me, more shocked than words could express.

"I can't die yet…." My voice was low until I roared again, "I WILL NOT DIE!" At that moment my power spiked and threw Renji back and through the wall this time. Lashing out everywhere I felt so…formidable as my dormant power awakened within me yet again. I felt the want to change; to shift into my truest form; but I held it back and allowed myself to calm down until my reiatsu faded back and returned to normal.

"My, my!" I heard a voice from the other side of the gaping hole in the wall, "Look what happened here!"

A smirk formed on my face and I laughed somewhat, "Sorry Mr. Hat, I had a weird tick that made me accidently send Renji through your wall. He just had to provoke it…"

The man 'ah-ed' and nodded, "I see, so this is the mooches' fault. Well, I'll just at this to the debt you owe me Renji." He waved his fan and laughed as he looked down at the swirly-eyed spike head. "No one has knocked him around like that since he fought with Ichigo I bet."

"Sure," I agreed, more side tracked to really be paying attention.

"So, might I ask why you are out of your gigai?" The man gave me a look, a look only he had, that he made at me once before. This look got my attention.

I grunted and closed my eyes, and gave him a smirk, "Does it matter?"

"Seeing Renji knocked out and through a wall, MY wall, I can say it does." He replied and gave me a second dark look when I opened my eyes.

I tried to act like it didn't affect me, but I could see that this man was contemplating something behind those eyes of his. What was this man thinking? There was something that dwelled in the back of his mind. What was it? What is going on? "I told you what happened." Rolling my eyes, I continued, "He deserved it."

The man was quiet for a little while and then smiled. How he switched from such a dark persona to a light was beyond me. He was almost…or maybe even better than that Orihime girl when it came to switching emotions. That was something I clearly didn't understand.

"I got it!" He exclaimed while he walked up towards me, a large smile across his face appeared as he snapped his fan shut.

"Got…what?" I asked suspiciously, this man seemed a little more than just sketchy.

He tilted his head and hummed before replying, "It's a surprise!"

"Typical Urahara." Renji grumbled from the rubble, "Leave me to do your dirty work…"

"Oh? You're finally awake?" He mused, after a small laugh, "You did well Renji. Even if you were smacked around a little more than I had anticipated."

"Anticipated my ass. I bet you enjoyed it."

"To be honest, I kinda di-"Quicker than I ever saw Renji move, he landed a fist into Kisuke's cheek- Well, it seemed that way, until the image of him disappeared and Renji fell forward. "Tsk tsk Renji! That wasn't very nice of you!"

What was going on? Why wasn't Renji trying to attack me again? And what had he done to be given a 'good job' about? "The hell is going on?" I finally muttered, crossing my arms and watching Kisuke beat Renji with his walking stick. "What do you mean he did 'well'? Well with what?"

My eyes darted from Mr. Hat n' Clogs to Renji, who rolled his eyes and just supported his head up with his hand, "You really are an idiot aren't you?"

A growl left my lips, "Are you trying to pick another fight with me?"

"Again you still DON'T get it! You are so easy you know that?"

"Easy about what?"

Urahara cut in with a laugh and a wave of his fan, "Grimmjow, think about it…Use that thing in your skull called a brain."

"That does not help." I emphasized the 'that' and crossed my arms with a huff, this was all so damn confusing I couldn't follow any of this. "Why should I even care about any of this? Damnit, I'm gonna go find Ichigo, repay my debt, and go back to being…"

"Being who Grimmjow?" I heard Kisuke mention behind me after I turned around.

I spun around and couldn't help but yell at the man, "That's none of your damn business!"

"Hmmm," He sighed and looked down at Renji, "Renji, go on. Tell him."

The red spike head grumbled and finally got up, once his eyes met mine, he frowned, "When I found you Grimmjow, what was on your mind?"

"I was looking for Ichigo. What of it?"

Renji shook his head and leaned against the wall behind him, "On your mind was powerlessness. You looked like a lost puppy when I found you. Even after killing that Hollow, you looked more than less than the Espada I remember. The one I had feared."

"Spit out your god damned point!" I didn't want to hear this…I didn't want to hear how utterly weak I looked. How astray I looked. How low could I be to fall this far? Or was I even falling?

Renji growled and continued, "You had that same damned look in your eyes that Ichigo had…ones that bore the heaviness of defeat. You had given up Grimmjow! So all I did, you baka, was bring out your will."

My eyes widened, I couldn't believe what he was saying. Everything he had yelled, everything he spat in my face- it was all to anger me and get me to wake up. To see what I was fighting for and why. "My…will?" I nearly whispered as I looked down at my hand and back up at Renji. He did have a point, even if the bastard had played the part…rather too well. I felt a renewed energy and my will to find Ichigo was stronger than before. My will to….live was back.

"You see Grimmjow, he only did it to help you. He may not look it, but he's a softy on the inside~!" Kisuke smiled and only laughed when an embarrassed flush appeared on Renji's face, who in turn, tried to attack him again.

Watching them go at it again, I couldn't help but experience some sort of foreign feeling that began to spread throughout my body. I felt a laugh, a heartfelt laugh escape- the moment it escaped; however, I caught myself and tried to shrug off what I truly felt. Perhaps a smidge of happiness had found its way inside of my heart…well, of the heart I had left.

Damn it to hell…I hated being all mushy gushy. I blame Ichigo…he must have planned this from the start. Turning me into this goody goody. Clenching my fist, I vowed to give a big ole' punch to that orange noggin of his.

When I opened my eyes Kisuke and Spikes were both staring at me with surprise that soon turned into some sort of mischievous smiles- as if they accomplished a great feat. Then again…maybe they had.

"What?" I tried to look annoyed, although I wasn't so sure it was working.

"It looks like he is ready for Part Two!"

"Part Two?"

"Yep."

"Of whaaaat?" I drew out the 'a' in that…I really didn't want to know what he had in store for me. My mind already felt mentally raped by that trick Renji pulled. Damn that put me through some stress.

"You'll see."

I didn't like the sound of that.

"Follow me." Was all he said after that, and without much choice, I did. "Why are we not going after-"

"Hush hush hush Grimmjow! All in good time!"

"What he means is you are too weak right now to really do much good for him." Renji answered before I could muster any sort of come back to Kisuke.

God…these two were going to give me an aneurism. I could already feel it coming. Maybe I should welcome it with open arms at this point. But, maybe they were right. I didn't know what we were up against- and the feeling I had of Ichigo being close was now quickly fading. What could I do if I took off after him now? What good would that do for him? Or for me?

Hmmm…maybe this is what it means to use one's brain.

Damnit…I just made a joke about myself. It was then when Kisuke stopped walking, making me abruptly bumping into Renji. "The hell?" I glared at him, but he only grinned with a child-like evil. God, I really did hate children (insert shudder here).

"This is the second part of your awakening!" With this little declaration he opened a door from the floor and pointed.

"My wha-"

KICK

And down the rabbit hole I went.

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Author's note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it took so long…so much for weekly right? Haha…well, school has been hectic, so sorry about that! GOMEN my readers! GOMEN! The next Chapter will be PRETTY DAMN INTENSE so, stay tuned!

**Next Chapter: Memories **