Red Light Honeymoon!

By Bren Ren

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Summary: An ambush that Clark escapes after getting hit with Red Kryptonite exposure leads under-the-influence Clark to join Lois back at the Lexor with a different sort of under-cover operation in mind.

Rating: Mature Audiences, Sexual Content and Adult Themes

Disclaimer: Aw, c'mon, guys! You gave us these brilliant set-ups, how can expect us not to play with them? Not making any money here, as always, I only wish I could get paid to write this stuff!

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Part One

"Night, Dad. Night, mom." Clark disconnected the line, and it immediately rang again. With a quizzical frown, he answered the call. "Hello?"

""You'll never guess where I am." Clark smiled in good humor. Lois. Who else? "Our former love nest."

It took a full three blinks to clear the mental images provoked by that turn of phrase. "The honeymoon suite? How…?"

"Just the management's way of apologizing for any inconvenience suffered during our stay." Leave it Lois to bull-doze the Lexor's management into an extended stay in the honeymoon suite.

"I was the one who never got to have the bedroom," he retorted with only marginal petulance.

"Well, this will give you something to look forward to." Whoa. What?!? Did she just say—"When you find the right woman, of course," she blurted out after an odd beat.

"Of course." It was really too bad she couldn't see the smug little smirk pulling at the corners of his lips.

"It's so relaxing here…" She trailed off for a moment, and Clark just almost thought she might have been working her way up to extending an invitation. "I've got the drapes closed." Again, the words seem to tumble haphazardly from her mouth.

He gave up with a soft chuckle ending in a yawn. "This is all fascinating, Lois, but I'm beat. Think I'll turn in." Before I accidentally say something that'll lead us both into trouble. At least then I can safely enjoy those mental images…

"Me too," she answered automatically, and for a split-second, Clark was afraid he'd actually given voice to that last thought. "Uh, Clark…?" she added, and again Clark began to wonder if she might actually invite him to join her.

"What?" Clark asked after another awkward pause. "Was there something else?"

"No, nothing," she replied. "Just, well… goodnight, Clark," she fumbled through in closing.

"Good night, Lois," he answered with soft resignation. He pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it for a second before hanging up and returning it to his nightstand. He laid back into his pillow, but it wasn't quite comfortable, so he pulled it out from under his head and fluffed it till it exploded in fuzzy white feathers just as the other one had in the honeymoon suite. He dropped his head directly onto the mattress with a groan of frustration. He was not going to be getting to sleep any time soon tonight, that was for damn sure.

He whipped into his blue spandex and red cape and took to the dark night skies above Metropolis in less than the span of a heartbeat.

His intended destination was somewhere in the Arctic Circle for an ice-cold glacier-melting dip, but he scarcely made it out of Metropolis before a desperate plea for help rang out that he just couldn't ignore.

A diesel tanker truck was being hijacked in a daring high-speed operation on the Interstate. He immediately adjusted his course and angled out to the scene in seconds. Two by two, he plucked six of the would-be hijackers right off the rig, tossing them to the shoulder with just the right force to disable them without any serious injuries.

Superman then flew up along the passenger side of the tractor after dropping off the last pair. The window just happened to be rolled down, so Superman simply reached in and dragged the creep out through the window whilst simultaneously disabling his large automatic machine of death.

The driver of the truck, shocked senseless by the ordeal, came to a stop on the shoulder and climbed out of the cab with shaky legs. Superman dropped down to the earth beside the man and offered him a hand. "Are you alright, sir?"

The trucker shook his head before shaking the caped hero's hand in gratitude. "Yeah. I'm fine," he told Superman jubilantly. "Thanks to you, man. I've seen some crazy stuff on the road, but that… Hot damn, that was nuts! Thank you! I owe you one."

"It's my pleasure to help," Superman answered with a kind smile. "And my needs are few, so why don't you just pay it forward."

"Oh yeah, man! Hell yeah!" He grabbed Superman's arm and shook it enthusiastically. "Anything you say. You just gave me a new lease on life, I tell ya."

Superman gave him a quick genial pat on the shoulder as he disengaged his arm from the ebullient man's grasp. "You take care out there," he bade the old road warrior as he began to drift up.

Before he could get very far off the ground, though, a broad beam of intense red light shot out from the shoulder behind the truck and engulfed Superman's entire upper torso for a good ten seconds. The trucker was somewhat blinded when it went dark as quickly as it had lit up, but he could hear the scuffle of a great many feet rapidly approaching, underscored by militant orders being shouted out in the darkness.

"Go! Go! Capture him now! Move, move, move!!!"

Just before the shadowy figures finally reached him, the stolid driver heard the telltale whoosh of Superman's departure more than he saw the streak of red flying up and away. He put his arms up in surrender, but to his great surprise, every last single one of these mysterious renegades turned away and fully retreated, leaving the man standing by his rig scratching his head in complete bewilderment.

"Now that was absolutely in-fraggling-sane! Crazy craptastic, man! No one's ever gonna believe this one, dammit." He cursed and grumbled his way back around to his side of the cab, climbed in, and drove away, still grumbling.

Superman was flying rather slowly for a while until he stopped seeing everything tinted in red, but it was a bit longer before he felt like the strange fog that beam had put in his mind start to dissipate. He couldn't even quite remember exactly where he'd been going before that strange escapade. Something about… Lois… our love nest? … The honeymoon suite. That's right, she'd just chickened out of inviting him to join her in the honeymoon suite.

Hmmm. This suddenly seemed like a very, very interesting opportunity, and he wasn't about to wait for it to knock. He swooped out to the rooftop of the Lexor for a gentle landing. He whipped back into civilian clothing before crossing to the access door clad in black trousers, black dress shirt, and one hot and sexy black leather jacket. He fairly marched through the corridors and stairs until he finally reached the doors of their "love nest."

Clark just happened to have forgotten to turn his room key in earlier—he really had intended to return it in the morning, but now he decided his accidental fortune must be a sign. He was supposed to come back to her here. Fate, destiny, the sun, the moon, and the stars all conspired to make this the night everything would change between him and his absolutely amazing partner. Clark quietly let himself into the suite, making sure the "Do Not Disturb" sign was in place as he softly locked himself in.

For a moment, Clark simply stood just inside the room, reaching out for Lois with every one of his senses. He could easily absorb her scent in the room, and even the air seemed to taste sweeter for having her presence. He heard the soft rustle of the bedclothes as Lois tossed fitfully. And her heart was beating strong, but her pulse was definitely a bit irregular. Every once in a while, he heard a soft moan or a sigh escape her lips, prompting him to pull his glasses down the bridge of his nose to engage his x-ray vision. His trousers immediately grew distinctly uncomfortable as he realized exactly what she was doing… to herself.

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