A/N: MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Here it is! I've just finished reading the SA libretto as well as the original play (Masked Man?). I still love Moritz....lol...
So here is my spoof! please enjoy!
AND REVIEW!
Disclaimer: *Sigh* I am not Duncan Sheik so i do not own Spring Awakening...or Moritz....
Scene 1:
Wendla: *Sigh* I am uneducated…WHEEEE! I'm a faerie queen!
Frau Bergman: Stop twirling…Your sister had a baby.
Wendla: Yay! Mama, where do babies come from?
Frau Bergman: That's for me to know and you to find out later…
Wendla: Are you foreshadowing?
Frau Bergman: Yes.
Girls: Grrr! We're angsting!
Scene 2:
Herr Sonnenstich: Ok, let's recite Latin!
Boys: Latin…Latin…Latin…
Melchior: I'm a radical! YOU WATCH ME, JUST WATCH ME! I'M CALLING AND ONE DAY ALL WILL KNOW!
Herr Sonnenstich: Ok, Herr Stiefel? Herr Stiefel?
Moritz: *waking up* 24!!
Boys: Woooow….
Herr Sonnenstich: Wake up!
Melchior: I must stand up fro my friend!
Herr Sonnenstich: Ok. *whacks!*
Melchior: Ow…
Moritz: Melchi, I'm scared. I'm having dreams…of girls! AND I'M SCARED! Am I gay?
Melchior: No, you're not gay…
Moritz: *whimpers*
Georg: I gawk at my piano teacher!
Otto: I dreamt about my mom!
Moritz:……………………
Scene 3:
Thea: HOLY CRAP! MELCHI GABOR IS A SEXY BEAST!
Anna: He's such a radical…
Wendla: Yeah….
*Pause*
Martha: I like Moritz!
Thea: You can't like Moritz! YOU MUST ADORE MELCHIOR!!!!!!!!!!!
Martha: Make me…
Thea: I wanna marry him….
*Meanwhile…*
Georg: *playing piano* *drools*
Fraulein Grossebustenhalter: Georg, the piano's covered in your saliva….
Georg: *drools more*
Hanschen: hehehehehehhehehehehehehe…..I'm being bad….
Boys and Girls: *sigh*
Scene 4:
Moritz: Melchi, write me an essay!
Melchior: M'kay!
*Later…*
Moritz: AAAAAHHHHH!
Melchior: What?
Moritz: The dreams! How do I make them stop?
Melchior: Well….*cues song to start*
All (except Moritz): TOUCH ME! JUST LIKE THAT!
Moritz: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs out*
Georg: Wow…..*riffs*
Scene 5:
Wendla: *whistles* Hey!
Melchior: Shame sucks!
Wendla: Melchior Gabor!
Melchior: Wendla Bergman!
Wendla: Well, this has been awkward…bye!
Melchior: Bye…?
Scene 6:
Moritz: Hallelujah!
Otto: What happened?
Moritz: MELCHI! I passed the mid-terms! *does the 'I Passed' Happy Dance*
Melchior: Yay!
Fraulein Knuppeldick: Moritz Stiefel's a dumbass.
Herr Knochenbruch: Let's fail him!
*Meanwhile…*
Thea: Let's go by the bridge to watch MELCHIOR! Hey, Martha, your braids make you look fat and ugly.
Martha: Thanks, Thea….
Wendla: LET'S CUT IT!
Martha: NO!
Wendla: Crap! You're bruised!
Anna: What happened?
Martha: Well…my dad is mean and abusive and he beats me with a belt and rapes me almost daily.
All:……………………………......................................................................................
Anna: No, really, what happened?
Ilse: It's ok, buddy! BE STRONG!
Wendla: I HAVE AN IDEA!
Scene 7:
Melchior: Blah, blah, blah….
Wendla: Melchi, be a dear and beat me with this stick, please? And if you do, I flash my almost bare bottom to the audience!
Melchior: Um….ok….*beats her*
Wendla: *in tears* Well, that was dumb….
Scene 8:
Moritz: Um, Dad, hypothetical question. Let's say my friend is failing school-
Herr Stiefel: YOU'RE FAILING SCHOOL?!
Moritz: Shit.
Frau Gabor: Dear Moritz. Apparently I don't give a shit about your angst. And also I will ignore your suicide threat too. Love, Fanny!
Moritz: *sad face*
Scene 9:
Melchior: Sittin' in my hayloft….
Wendla: Hi! I have your journal!
Melchior: Bitch, give it back!
Wendla:…..
Melchior: Hmmm…it's raining…
Wendla: Are you seriously asking me about the weather?
Melchior: You're hot. Let's have sex!
Wendla: Umm…ok….
ACT II:
Scene 1:
Wendla: Wow…I mean, wow…Just…WOW.
Melchior: Yeah…
Fr. Kaulbach: Don't have sex. 'Cause you will get pregnant. And die.
Georg: Irony, anyone?
Scene 2:
Moritz: ENOUGH! ENOUGH!!
Ilse: Hi there!
Moritz: AAAHHH! FEMALE!!!
Ilse: Gee, thanks…Well, I've just spent a week with Gustav Baum! And-!
Moritz: I don't care!
Ilse: You remember when we used to play pirates? Let's do it again!
Moritz: Nope. Gotta go!
Ilse: I HATE YOU!
Moritz: Goodbye, cruel world!!
Scene 3:
Melchior: *at Moritz's funeral* You guys suck as parents!
Herr and Frau Stiefel:……………………
Martha: *bawls her eyes out*
Scene 4:
Fraulein Knuppeldick: Melchior Gabor…
Herr Knochenbruch: You're expelled!
Melchior: Fuck….
Scene 5:
Ernst: *mumbles*
Hanschen: Hi.
Ernst: *swoons*
Hanschen: Um…
Ernst: You know, sometimes, I dream about being a priest…
Hanschen: *dripping with sarcasm* Really?
Ernst: Um…
Hanschen: I….am a pussycat…
Ernst: OK!
*They kiss*
Ernst: I LOVE YOU HANSCHEN RILOW!
Hanschen: Who doesn't?
Scene 6:
Wendla: Mama, I feel like crap…
Doctor: You're just anemic…and pregnant…
Frau Bergman: No she's not!
Doctor: Of course, what do I know? I'm just a doctor….
Frau Bergman: *passes out*
Wendla: Mama?
Frau Bergman: WTF?!!?!?!?!
Wendla: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! *sigh* Oh well, I'll go live happily ever after with Melchi and our baby!
Frau Bergman: Not so fast….
Scene 7:
Herr Gabor: Off to reform school!
Melchior: Why?
*at school*
Melchior: *sad face*
Reformatory Students: You suck!
Melchior: *gets letter* Wendla's pregnant? Shit….Escape time!
*Georg plays the "Mission Impossible" theme while Melchior escapes*
*Meahwhile…*
Wendla: Mama, why are we in the seedy part of town at three in the morning?
Frau Bergman: SHH!
Schmidt: Hi there!
Wendla: SHIT!
Scene 8:
Ilse: Crap! Wendla's dead!
Martha: But what do we do with this oddly ironic letter from Melchior?
Thea: GIMME! *sniffs it* It smells like him….
Anna: *steals the letter* Give me that, you crazed beeyotch. It says he wants to meet her at the graveyard.
Ilse: And he finds that romantic….why….?
Scene 9:
Melchior: Wendla? You-hoo? Marco?
* No one responds 'Polo'*
Melchior: Oh, look! A conveniently paced new grave! Here lies WENLDA BERGMAN?! NOOOO! It's not true! Wendla?! WENDLA?! MARCO?!
Moritz: Polo!
Melchior: AHHHHH!
Wendla: No fair! I wanted to say Polo!
Melchior: HOLY SHIT!
Moritz: Don't kill yourself…it sucks…
Melchior: Ok!
Ilse: Yay! I get to start the finale!
All: Bye people!
A/N: What is the Song of Purple Summer supposed to mean, anyway? lol....i hope you enjoyed!
Reviews?