A/N: This is my first ShikaIno story. I hope you guys like it. I got this concept from a joke my good friend, Ann, told me. I thought it would make a nice story, and decided to make it ShikaIno. :D R&R!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, as well as the joke.
For Shikamaru Nara, life is what he would call, "troublesome". Waking up early in the morning to go to school, dealing with his friends, listening to boring lectures and training his butt off everyday afterwards so that his father won't scold him. Let's not forget, being nagged by his mother every time he comes home. Except for the latter, this could all be avoidable.
He could always sleep in and be late for school. Sleep the whole time in class as well, or look out the window and choose to ignore his seatmates. He could run away and watch the clouds pass by instead and then take a nap.
But for a certain blond haired and blue-eyed girl, life is troublesome for her. But unlike Shikamary, she could not escape it.
In addition to school and training, she also had to work in her mother's flower shop. She would also need to train extra hard since she was an only child, and a girl. She had to show her father that she was more capable than any man. She was very self confident and, she believed she could do even more.
Because she pushed herself every single day to excel, she would always be burned out in school. Though despite this, she was always top one among all the other girls; be it in grades, ninjutsu, taijutsu, or even genjutsu. She was always the best. Being burned out every day, she usually doesn't show that she feels lethargic except for this certain week.
Ino woke up early, like how she does every single day. Her shoulders were slumped down while she dragged her feet. Three tests, rigorous training and extended hours in the shop really took a lot out of her. Ino was exhausted.
"Hey Ino pig!" Sakura called her. "You're looking sloppy today," she grinned teasingly at her, "on the other hand, you're always sloppy."
Upon hearing this, the blond snapped, "WHAT WAS THAT, BILBOARD BROW?"
Sakura smirked at her. "I bet you didn't even do some advanced reading on our new subject today."
"New subject?" Ino asked, bemused. The two girls started walking side-by-side towards their school. Despite their quarrels, these two are very good friends—best friends to be exact while still being rivals. Talk about a paradox.
"Yeah. Instead of art, we're having religion," Sakura said. "I already know the basic background, but it's weird. I don't get why we have to study this religion called, Christianity. I mean, we're Buddhists!"
"Christianity?" Ino repeated. "Oh, that religion! My mother has books about that. I read it a few months ago while watching the shop." The two girls were steeped in their conversation, but still kept walking. It was already automatic that their feet would take them to the school. "They have a lot of names for him, right? This "Savior" they keep mentioning."
"Like what? The Father, Son and Holy Spirit?" Sakura asked. "Oh no wait, that's the Holy Trinity," she sweat dropped.
"No, like, God All Mighty, Jesus Christ, Holy Lamb… You know those names," Ino corrected. "See, I didn't review last night and I know all of this!" Ino boasted.
"Whatever, Ino Pig!" Sakura huffed. "Do you even know his timeline and life story?"
"Well, they say he created everything, right?"
Sakura nodded, "also the first humans, Adam and Eve."
"What weird names," Ino rolled her eyes. "I have to remember that, though." She let out a huge and heavy yawn as she entered the classroom. She settled herself in her seat and rested her head on her folded arms. She felt her eyes get heavy and gave in to her need of sleep. Just a few minutes… She thought.
"Good morning, Shikamaru!" Naruto's voice boomed over the whole classroom. It was loud enough to wake Shikamaru, but not Ino. Even if she sat right in front of Shikamaru.
"Naruto…" Shikamaru grumbled. "I'm trying to sleep! Geez, you're so troublesome," he yawned.
"Why? It's so early in the morning! And this new subject is our first period. I'm so happy they finally realized that Art is so pointless if you're a ninja," he grinned so wide that his eyes disappeared and his whiskers formed cute curves on his cheeks.
"Yeah… well, Religion is also pointless. We're also studying something that we also don't need in life," shikamaru sighed lazily. "What a drag."
Their homeroom teacher came in, "Al right, everybody, settle down."
All the youngsters shuffled into their assigned seats and kept quiet.
"So, as you all know, we have a new subject, Religion. I'm going to ask questions since I told all of you to do some advanced reading. This is graded, so you better answer properly." He told his class. A few grumbles and complaints were heard, but the young teacher ignored it.
"Al right, first question." Iruka looked at his clipboard for the questions and read it aloud, "according to Christianity, who created everything?"
A number of students who read raised their hands but Iruka wanted to ask those who didn't raise but thought otherwise. Instead, he closed his eyes and just called out a random name.
"Yamanaka, Ino," he called her. "Who created everything?" He repeated the question but kept his eyes closed.
Ino was still fast asleep on her desk.
"Pssst," Naruto whispered to Shikamaru. "She's sleeping."
"Yeah, so?" Shikamaru asked lazily.
"Poke her with your pencil," Naruto whispered.
"Why should I? She'll just yell at me again," Shikamaru replied, annoyed.
"Just do it!" Naruto yelled in a whisper.
"Fine. God, this is so troublesome." Shikamaru took his sharpened pencil, leaned forward and poked a sleeping Ino with the sharp end on her side. He poked her a bit too hard.
Ino woke with a fright and slammed both of her hands on the wooden table loudly. "GOD ALL MIGHTY!" She shouted in shock and pain. It was said as a profanity rather than an answer.
"Very good, Ino!" Iruka grinned and praised her. "I'm so glad you have some enthusiasm about this subject. Class, I want you all to be as excited as Ino about this subject."
Snickers, hushed giggles and stifled laughs were heard throughout the whole classroom.
"Looks like Iruka-sensei wants us to sleep in class and wake up with a profanity instead of actually reading the damn books," Kiba whispered to Naruto from behind. The blonde boy laughed aloud.
"What's so funny, Naruto?" Iruka asked quite harshly.
"Eh… It's nothing. Nothing at all, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto denied.
Ino rubbed the area where Shikamaru poked her with the sharp pencil. "Shikamaru!" She shouted in an angry whisper, "did you have to poke me that hard?"
"What? Naruto told me to do it," Shikamaru retorted.
-The Next Day-
Ino had to work still at her mother's flower shop and train with her father. She was learning a new Jutsu that was passed down from the early ancestors of the Yamanaka Clan. She got so caught up with wanting to perfect it that she didn't realize it was already dark and she had lots of homework to do. Ino ended up finishing everything at three in the morning. She was exhausted.
She dragged herself to school, and Sakura walked with her again. She gave Ino a quick review about what Iruka told them to read about. Ino was too tired to reply and debate with her, so she just tried to absorb what she said and hoped that it might help.
As soon as she got in the classroom, she collapsed on her desk and groaned. "Maybe I shouldn't have slept so late," she thought aloud. Before she knew it, she fell asleep on her desk again.
Ino was still asleep when their new class started again. Shikamaru really thought it was pointless to have this new minor class for three times a week while they only had genjutsu class for only twice a week.
"Naruto," called the teacher, "according to the bible, who died on the cross to bring us salvation?"
"Uhhh…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I'm not… that far into the bible yet, Iruka-sensei."
"Al right, then where did you end, Naruto?" He asked.
"Uhh… Well, there was this big number 'one' there… and then after a few words… there was a small number 'two' before the thing…" Naruto tried his best to explain.
"What chapter was this?"
"I don't know… the first one?"
A vein was about to pop on the chunin's forehead. "You mean Genesis chapter one verse two," he spoke through clenched teeth.
"Yeah! That one!" Naruto laughed victoriously. "That's where I stopped!"
"Naruto… THAT'S THE FIRST SENTENCE IN THE WHOLE BOOK!" Iruka snapped.
"Ino, can you please tell us who died on the cross to bring salvation?" Iruka was massaging his temples with his eyes tightly shut.
Kiba kicked the back of Shikamaru's chair and cleared his throat, not so subtly telling him to wake Ino up.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and took his pencil. Why do I even do this? It's such a drag… He thought. Nara leaned forward and poked the sleeping girl in front of him at the same spot, with the same pressure.
Ino jolted awake from the pain. "JESUS CHRIST!" Ino cussed.
"Excellent! Ino, I'm so proud of you." Iruka clapped and wrote some notes on the board.
"Damn," Kiba laughed. "That was just as funny as yesterday!" He shouted in a whisper to Shino, who sat right behind Shikamaru.
Shino merely nodded at the amused boy.
Ino looked back at Shikamaru and glared at him. "I swear, Shikamaru. Don't do that again!"
"He saved you from being embarrassed and getting a warning from Iruka-sensei, you should be thanking him," Sakura defended the lazy boy.
"Yeah, but it hurts!" Ino hissed while she rubbed the small of her back.
"Shh!" She hushed her. "I'm trying to concentrate on the lesson!"
-The Next Day-
In order to avoid sleeping in class and waking with a fright the next day, Ino slept at ten in the evening. She hurriedly finished her homework and talked to her dad if she can skip training for that day. He agreed and let his daughter sleep, but told her that they would double her training the next day. Out of her excitement, she just said yes and ran off to bed in hopes of catching up for her lost sleep.
At three in the morning, Ino's father woke her up for her training. It was a rough and rigid morning for the young girl. Her father didn't give in to her eye rubbing or yawning every five minutes. She had to spar with her dad and at least land one solid hit. Her father did not go easy on her.
She came to school not only tired, but totally burned out and drained of all the living life—what was left of it at least—out of her. This time, she didn't even bother thinking if she was going to sleep or not, she just totally gave in and grabbed a one-way ticket to the land of nod.
Her classes started and Shikamaru was fed up with this class. Not only was Ino sleeping again, but also today, they had a graded recitation. He was thinking of either sleeping this class out, or just giving his teacher a wise-ass answer.
"Here's a bonus question!" Iruka grinned enthusiastically. "What did Eve say to Adam after giving birth to their twenty-seventh son? I won't call. You just go ahead and say it!"
Kiba and Naruto leaned in to Shikamaru and gave him a mischievous look. He sighed exasperatedly and poked Ino way harder than before.
The blond was dreaming that Sasuke was about to kiss her right in front of Sakura when Ino woke with a great pain, and she immediately knew who caused her beautiful dream to end. She shot up, looked back at Shikamaru and yelled at the top of her lungs, "I SWEAR, IF YOU STICK THAT THING INTO ME AGAIN, I AM GOING TO CUT IT IN HALF!"
"HOLY SHIT, THAT'S THE BEST ONE YET!" Kiba roared with an unstoppable laughter and the whole class joined in. He was holding on to his tummy, with tears streaming out of his eyes.
"Oh crap, now I get it!" Naruto joined in and laughed.
"Ewww… You guys are gross…" Sakura mumbled.
Shikamaru and Ino turned a bright shade of pink. As the whole class started to tease them, hollered and cheered.
While all the commotion was happening, Iruka turned pale and fainted on the floor.
"That's it! I'm never sticking this in you again!" Shikamaru said exasperatedly. He was very annoyed.
"So you must be Adam and Ino's Eve, huh, Shikamaru?" Shino smirked invisibly.
It may be sensitive to some, as it can be considered using the Lord's name in vain. I'm terribly sorry but it's just a joke, and I hope you understand and got a good laugh from it. I know I did.
Anyway, please drop a review my way. They are much appreciated. I want your feed back! Thanks~