How a Girl Trains Her Dragon

So I adore this movie to death and have seen it six times, but I can't help but notice that dragon movies are always about a BOY and his dragon (Eragon, that one with Sean Connery as the dragon). Well, girls like dragons too! So here is the movie told again with a girl playing Hiccup.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this… but God I wish I did.

Berk: Twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the meridian of misery. The village: in a word, sturdy. It's been here for seven generations but every single building is new. There's fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see most places have mice or mosquitoes, but Berk has…

"Dragons," whispers Hiccup to herself as she opened and then slammed the door shut to her house, almost just in time to avoid being scorched to death by a giant, fire-breathing dragon. She sports a short red-brown bob, green eyes, freckles, and a severe gap between her two front teeth. She wears a long-sleeved green dress with brown boots and a belt on her very skinny frame.

The village is being attacked again, by another raid of the vicious dragons that snatch up their food and sheep. Most people would leave, but not Vikings. They have stubbornness issues easily observed as they rush out and pound the dragons with hammers and axes.

Hiccup rushes out of her house towards the black-smith's shop passing Vikings yelling battle cries as they attempt to save their live-stock. She weaves in and out as they observe her and tell her to go back inside and get out of their way. Someone catches her by the hand.

It was Stoic the Vast, Chief of the Tribe. He was a very large man, with red hair and a massive beard held together in braids. Legend says when he was a baby he popped a dragon's head clean off its shoulders. Hiccup believed it was true.

"What are you doing out?! What is she doing out?!" Stoic yells. "Get inside," he yells as he gives her a small shove and she nods, taking off again. "What have we got?"

"Gronkles, Nadders, Zipplebacks, oh, and we saw a Monstrous Nightmare," reported a warrior.

"Any Night Furies?"

"None so far."

"Good."

Hiccup finally reaches the shop and is greeted by Gobber, smiling with his fake tooth. He was big and burly with an interchangeable prosthetic left hand and wooden peg-leg for a right foot. "How nice of ya' to join the party. I thought you wouldn't be let out."

"What who me? Nah c'mon I am totally allowed to be out here. No dragon would know what to do with all this," she said gesturing to herself.

"Well they need toothpicks don't they?"

Hiccup had worked for Gobber since she was little, mainly because working in the blacks-smith shop was the only thing she was allowed to do. But she wanted to be outside, killing the dragons that had now burnt down most of the wooden houses already. See, new village, lots of new houses.

Hiccup looked outside and saw the other teenagers setting a trap for the dragons. There was the portly Fishlegs, the irritating Snotlout, the twins Ruffnut and Tuffnut. And of course the cutest boy on the entire island, Anstred. She craned her neck out the window to get a better look at him with his long blonde hair. Their job is so much cooler than mine she thought as Gobber pulls her back to work.

"Oh, c'mon, let me out, please. I want to kill a dragon."

"Every villager in town knows the rules around here and that means you stay inside," he replies setting her down and poking her in the chest.

"Please, two minutes. I'll kill a dragon, my life will get infinitely better, I might even get a date," she pleaded, but Gobber shakes his head.

"Rules are rules. And how did you plan on killing one anyway? You haven't been taught how. You can't lift a hammer, you can't swing and axe, you can't even throw one of these," Gobber held up a rope with heavy weights on the end. Just then a Viking snatches it and takes down a Gronkle mid-flight.

"Which is why I made this to throw if for me," she answers walking to an automatic weapon thrower she had been working on. She placed a hand on it and the piece suddenly sprung open, launching ropes and weight that knock out a Viking standing outside.

"Now look what you've done," said Gobber getting irritated.

"It was a mild calibration issue!"

"Hiccup, look at me. You are never going to be able to fight dragons, end of story."

"Well, you're playing a dangerous game, keeping this much raw Viking-ness contained. There will be consequences," she warns, exasperated.

"I'll take my chances. Sword, sharpened," he orders, ending the conversation.

Hiccup carries the dull blade to the grinder and starts to sharpen it. One day I'll get out there. Because killing a dragon would prove everything.

A Nadder was sure to get her a least noticed. Gronkles were tough. Taking down one of those would definitely get her a boyfriend. A Zippleback, exotic, two heads: double the status. And then there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the best Vikings go after those. They have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire. But the ultimate prize was the dragon no one's ever seen. They call it the Night Fury. It never stole food, never showed itself, and never missed. No one had ever killed a Night Fury, and Hiccup had plans to be a first.

"Man the forge Hiccup. They need me out there," Gobber said changing his left hand to a hammer. He stopped at the door. "Stay. Put. There. You know what I mean." And with a loud YAARGG! He disappeared into the chaos of the battlefield.

Hiccup however took off with her weapon the minute he was out of sight. She avoided Stoic, ducking to a spot on a hill free of dragons, noises, or Vikings. She set the machine up and examined the quiet night sky. "Come on. Give me something to shoot at. Give me something to shoot at."

Suddenly, a dark shape fired a shot of blue fire at the nearby watch-tower. Hiccup took aim and fired. She heard a loud screech as the Night Fury fell out of the sky towards the other end of the island. "I hit it," she said in disbelief. "Yes! I hit it! Did anybody see that?" She turned to see a Monstrous Nightmare tower over her, his foot standing where her crushed machine now lay. "Except for you."

Hiccup took off, running for her life and screaming along the way. She ran through the village and ducked behind a pole just in time as the Nightmare breathed hot fire towards her.

She peeked out only for the dragon to knock her off her feet from the other side, scratching her arm. He launched his head down when Stoic came to her rescue, fighting the dragon. The dragon went to shoot fire at him, but the stream trickled off.

"You're all out of juice," he chuckled as the Nightmare desperately flew away. He then turned to Hiccup as she slowly rose to her feet, and then grabbed her bloody shoulder in pain.

"Sorry… Dad," she mumbled as the Vikings gathered and the last of the dragons fled over the horizon, some carrying the valuable live-stock. She could feel his eyes burning into her. "But I hit a Night Fury." Stoic grabbed her and began to drag her away.

"Come on Dad. I wasn't hurt that bad," she protested. "I mean I actually hit it. You were all busy and I well… snuck out and had a very clear shot. It went down just off Raven's Point. Let's get a search party out there before it-"

"Stop!" Stoic interrupted. "Just… stop. You know you are not allowed to be out trying to fight dragons. I'm trying to keep you safe. When your mother- I just have too much to think about without worrying about my only daughter. Can't you see I have bigger problems? Winter is almost here and I have an entire village to feed!"

"Well between you and me the village could do with a little less feeding, don'tcha think?" she asked, desperately trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm not amused Hiccup. Why can't you just listen to me and trust that I know what's best for you."

"I-I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just kill it, ya' know? It's what I'm meant to do Dad," Hiccup said, trying to defend herself.

Stoic sighed. "I have to doubt your opinion Hiccup. You were not meant to kill dragons. Now get back home and patch that shoulder up." He lets out a long sigh. "Make sure she gets there… and keep her there this time," he said to Gobber. "She needs to learn how to listen."

Gobber gives her a shove and they walk past the other teenagers as they laugh at him. "Baby Hiccup isn't allowed to fight dragons," commented Tuffnut.

"I guess he just doesn't want you to end up ash like your mother. Getting destroyed by dragons must be genetic," said Snoutlout.

"Shut up!" she shouts, moving in to punch him. Gobber yanks her back and she sighs, putting her head down.

The two finally reach the house as the sun rises. "I really did hit a Night Fury."

"Sure ya' did."

"He never lets me do anything!"

"He's just looking out for you."

"I mean I get it, my mother was killed by a dragon and I'm all he has left. But I'm not necessarily going to end up like her. And now all the other kids just mock me and I'm a shame to the Viking world. And look at me! I'm a talking fish-bone!" she finishes, putting her head down.

"Now yer thinkin' about it all wrong," Gobber explained trying to comfort her. "It's not so much what you look like; it's what's inside that he can't stand."

"Thank you for summing that up."

"The point is stop trying to fight him on this. There are plenty of other things you can do for Berk that don't involve dragons."

"I just wanna be one of you guys," said Hiccup as she closed the door behind her just to escape through the back door to go find the rarest dragon and prove to her father she would do fine as a Dragon Killer.