AUTHOR'S NOTE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SVUjunkie2011! I didn't quite get it posted ON your birthday, but here it is! Hope it was great one! This one is for YOU! PS- Y'all might want to grab some tissues, I teared up a bit while writing this one.
Playing House
(Chapter Thirty Two: The Great Divide)
'Olivia, I will never give up on you.'
Elliot's words echoed through her mind as Olivia opened her tired eyes to stare at herself in the dresser mirror. She leaned forward to inspect the dark circles beginning to form under her eyes and exhaled in exhaustion as she turned to drop another stack of clothes into the suitcase on the bed.
"I hate that we are disrupting the kids so much," she said as she made her way to the closet to grab more clothing.
"Baby, we have been over this. It is what is best for everyone, this is what will keep us all safe."
"Did you even tell them?"
"They are all packing now."
Olivia turned to look him in the eyes for a moment.
"You didn't tell them where they are going?"
"I….may have left out a few small details in an attempt to make this transition go as smoothly as possible."
"Elliot…"
"I know, and trust me I am hating myself for it. But you know as well as I do that if I tell them the whole truth they will fight me every step of the way."
"Are you sure there isn't a better way? Isn't there some place we can all go and stay together?"
"Finding a place to hide a family of nine is not as easy as it sounds, Liv."
She got quiet for a moment.
"Honestly, the farther they are away from me the safer they probably are."
Elliot shifted his eyes to hers.
"It's me he wants," she continued. "He will come after me. His grudge is against you and me for outsmarting him and because you helped me get away. I lived, Elliot. That was a major glitch in his plan. He went to prison because of me and my testimony against him for what he did to me and those girls. That isn't something you just forget. It is my fault the kids are stuck in the middle of this."
"Hey, hey, hey," Elliot said softly cupping his hands against each side of her face and kissing her tenderly. "None of this is your fault. You were just doing your job, which you are damn good at. This man is pissed because he is a rapist and a murderer and because of what you did, he was brought to justice. He is crazy, Olivia. We're gonna find him and I am going to make sure he never hurts you or our family ever again."
Olivia wiped a tear from her cheek and headed down the hall as Mia began to fuss from the other room.
"It's alright baby girl," she cooed wrapping her daughter safely in her arms and kissing her. "Mommy is right here angel and daddy and I are going to do everything in our power to keep you safe."
"Everything alright in here?" Elliot asked peeking around the nursery door as Olivia snapped up Mia's little pink sleeper and settled into the glider with her.
"We're good, daddy. Somebody just wasn't happy that she was wet when she woke up from her nap. But mommy took care of it and now we are about to have some lunch."
Elliot knelt in front of her to kiss their daughter.
"I think when this mess is all over we should take a little family vacation," he said gently brushing his fingertips over Mia's dark hair as she began to nurse. "The whole family. Even the babies. I think we could all use a little break."
"That sounds amazing, El. But like you said before, where are you gonna go with a family of nine?"
"I don't care if we just drive out of town and spend the weekend in a hotel room, we need to get away. Anything, to get away from home and the city for a few days and just spend a little time bonding together as a family and forgetting about all of the troubles that have been surrounding us here for a bit."
"You are right," she replied shifting Mia to her shoulder to burp her, "we could all use a break."
"So you be thinking about where you want to go," he said standing and kissing the top of her head. "I'm gonna go see how the kids' packing is coming along. We need to try to be out of here before dark."
"I think I have everything I need. I just have to throw a bag together for the baby. It is hard to do though when you have no idea where you are going or how long you will be gone."
"I loaded Isiah's pack and play and her portable bassinette in the back of black Suburban number one," he joked. "We'll drop the kids off tonight then they said it will be a few days drive to wherever it is that they are taking us."
Olivia exhaled nervously.
"Honey, they'll be fine," he assured her. "They'll have an unmarked car right outside twenty four hours a day. And anywhere they go they will be escorted. They put out a nationwide bulletin, so I am sure that every cop in the country has their eye out for him. He won't be able to hide for too long. And if he dares come after us or the kids they'll be waiting right there to pick him up and throw his ass back in prison. A tougher maximum security prison where he will be monitored around the clock and he will never get the chance to escape again."
Olivia smiled.
"I'm loving this little fairy tale place you must be living in Elliot, but here in the real world bad guys do escape. They do get away. They do evade capture and they do come after you and get around the guards who are supposed to be there protecting you. They do hurt and they do kill. I damn near didn't make it out alive the last time and if he'd had his way I wouldn't have. If you and Cragen hadn't found me there when you did, I wouldn't have made it. I damn sure don't want this bastard to have even the slightest chance at hurting one of our kids. Maybe I worry too much and maybe I over react at the thought of Parker getting his skeezy hands on my children, Elliot, but I think I have a damn good right to be worried."
"Of course you do. You are an incredible mother and grandmother, to all of the kids. But this is what we have to do right now until we can make it safe to bring everyone back home together again."
"I am just so sick of this bastard disrupting my life, our lives. I just want us to be normal again."
Elliot laughed, then smiled at her.
"Baby, things have not been normal around here in a very long time. In fact there isn't a single thing about our relationship that has been normal," he said slipping his hand into hers and holding it tight.
Olivia smiled.
"I guess you're right," she agreed.
Elliot kissed her once more, then headed down the hall to check on the older children.
"Why won't they tell us where we are going, dad?" Dickie asked handing off a large duffel bag to one of the drivers.
"We'll talk about that once we get down the road a little way," Elliot replied.
"You know, don't you?" Kathleen asked studying the look on his face. "You know where they are taking us?"
"Somewhere you will be safe. That is all I can really say right now. I don't have all of the details myself. But I am going to need you guys to look out for each other. Stay together," he said watching as Maureen scooped up Eli protectively in her arms. "Don't go anywhere alone. Listen to these men, they are the good guys and they are here to protect you. And you guys," he said turning to the twins, "Kathleen is gonna have her hands full with the baby. Maureen has Eli to look after, you guys are big to do a lot of things for yourselves, but help them out too. You are all old enough to understand how serious this is. This man is very dangerous. Stay together. And if you notice anything that seems strange or out of the ordinary at all, you let one of these men know immediately. Do you understand?"
He watched as they all began to nod.
"Dickie, you're not going to need your baseball bat," Elliot said pulling it from his hands before he could put it into the car.
"Dad, I can hit a hundred mile an hour fast pitch with that. What do you think it will do to a bad guy trying to sneak in a window?"
Elliot blinked and stared at the boy for a moment.
"I need to be able to defend everyone," he said and Elliot felt a proud fatherly smile begin to cross his face. "No one will give me a gun."
"You're right," Elliot agreed handing the bat back to his son. "Just be careful. If you use it, make sure you know who you are swinging at."
And with a nod of understanding, Dickie tossed the bat into the back of the car with his bag.
"Why can't we go with you, daddy?" Elizabeth asked.
Elliot smiled and knelt to hug the girl.
"Because the bad guy is after Liv and I. We are just moving you guys to be on the safe side. Liv and I are going to go away for a little while."
"Until they get him?"
"Hopefully that won't be very long. Then we will all be back home together again. Mia is too little to be away from Olivia right now, so she has to go with us. But your brothers and sisters need your help looking after the little ones. Can you help them out for me?"
"Okay," she said nervously.
"Why don't you go get the rest of your things, then see if Kathleen needs any help packing for the baby?"
"Okay, dad."
"That's my girl," Elliot replied patting the top of her head as she smiled.
"How's it going?" Olivia asked stepping out the front door to hand off her suitcase.
"About as good as can be expected."
"Right now," she added sarcastically. "Wait until they find out where you are sending them."
"You have a better idea?"
"No. You're right. They will be safe and that is the important thing. I just worry, that's all. I'm not trying to second guess you or make you feel like I don't support this decision."
"I don't want to take them back there either, Liv. But as much as Kate and I disagree on everything else in the world, I know that she loves those kids and she would do whatever it takes to protect them. And they will have security guards, she has an alarm system on their house."
"El, what if she tries to take them away from us again? What if she drags us back to court and….and….brings this up and tries to say that we shouldn't have custody of the kids?"
"I know there are risks. And we will cross that bridge when we get to it, at least we would all be alive. That is my main focus right now, keeping us all alive. So for now, we just have to take a deep breath and focus on one problem at a time. And just hope and pray that Kate's human side surfaces and she is a little understanding under the circumstances."
"I love you," Olivia said with a smile as she wrapped her arms tight around him. "You are the strongest, bravest, most wonderful man I have ever met. You are the most incredible husband and father and I have witnessed first-hand numerous times, that you have gone to hell and back to keep this family together. You're not alone," she said squeezing his hand. "This is our family. This is our fight and I am not about to let you go in alone. Anyone who wants to try to hurt this family or tear us apart had damn well better be ready to get their ass kicked, because we are Stabler's and we are not going down without a fight. I will fight to the death for any one of those kids and for you."
"I love you, too," Elliot said with a smile. "You never cease to amaze me."
"I know you think I'm crazy."
"Crazy, beautiful."
"Don't mess with a new mama on a hormone overload. He picked the wrong family to screw with. And if Kate starts her crap, she'll get a piece of me, too."
"Okay, then," he laughed.
"I didn't have any say before. We weren't married yet and legally they were not my children. But Kate is not the only one who has connections and I think we may just have enough leverage this time that the law is on our side."
"Baby, take a deep breath," Elliot said with a smile staring into her eyes. "Now put your guns away, we are not quite ready for that fight just yet."
Elliot pressed his mouth to hers and Olivia cracked a smile.
"I guess I am getting a little carried away. I just don't want you to think that you have to figure this all out on your own."
"Mr. Stabler, we'd better get going if you want to be out of here before sundown," one of the drivers said interrupting them.
"We're almost ready. I'll go get the kids," Elliot replied kissing his wife's hand before returning to the house.
"We'll see you at the check point," the driver of the first SUV said as Elliot double checked everyone was safely buckled in.
"Check point?" Olivia asked.
"We'll see you guys in a little while," Elliot said closing the door as little Eli waved goodbye to his mother and father from his car seat.
Elliot and Olivia stood waving to the toddler until the vehicle rounded the corner and was out of sight.
"Safety precaution," Elliot informed her as they returned to their own ride and he held the door open for her. "We are taking two different cars and two different routes. Once they are sure we're not being followed we will meet up with the kids at a rest stop a few miles from Kate's house."
"And we'll will break it to them?"
"I figured that way we get any moans, groans and tantrums out of the way before we get there. The faster we are in and out the better for everyone. Ideally it would have been safer to just say our goodbyes now and trust them to deliver the children, but…"
"That is not something I am comfortable with. I want to know that they got there safe."
"Exactly," he said kissing her tenderly as he double checked the infant seat was secured.
"Are we good to go, Mr. Stabler?"
"We are," he said closing the car door behind him.
"Sir, it looks like you've left a living room light on," the man informed him.
"It's alright. We have some friends staying at the house while we are away."
"There goes our dream house," Olivia said turning to watch from the back window as their home got smaller and smaller, then disappeared altogether.
Elliot slipped his hand in hers and squeezed it.
"We're coming back, Olivia. Soon. We are all coming back home. I promise."
She forced a smile and a nod, then turned their attention to their newborn daughter stirring in the car seat between them.
"I had them put a case of diapers and extra formula in the other car for Isiah," she said softly. "And I picked up some of his special wipes, he can't use those perfumed ones because of his sensitive skin. I knew Kate wouldn't know that and I didn't want Kathleen to have to worry about it."
"It was nice of you to take care of all of that for her."
"Eli's bear is in Elizabeth's back pack. They forgot to pack it, but he won't go to sleep without it. Oh, and his book…Goodnight Moon…he likes…" she paused for a moment and cleared her throat. "He likes it to be read twice. And he wants to turn the pages."
She looked at him with tears streaming down her face.
"Honey, I know you are gonna miss them," he whispered as he kissed her tenderly. "We both will. I know it is hard to be away from them, but we will all be back together again soon."
"I put his blanket in his bag, I made sure they packed that for him."
"That old thing?" he said with a laugh.
"That old thing, is the crib blanket Kathy made for his bed before she passed away. I know he never really knew her, but he likes that blanket. I think it is kind of a special way for him to be close to her."
"He drags that nasty old thing everywhere. I am pretty sure I have even thrown it away once or twice. The thing has nine lives," Elliot joked.
"Sure it is raggedy and falling apart from its many adventures, but that is his security blanket. And Lord knows right now he could really use that security. That blanket has been everything from a super hero cape, to a sled the older kids use to drag him around the house on. You did throw it away and I rescued it from the trash."
Elliot laughed.
"You know he lays in the floor watching and waiting the entire time it is being washed and dried. He used to cry every time, but Elizabeth explained to him that it was dirty and it was just getting a bath. He is still a little weary about the situation."
"It's a blanket, a scrap of cloth."
"And he's a baby. Trying hard to be a big boy. Life is tough enough, Elliot. Let him hold on to his childhood as long as he can. It an old beat up and stained blanket brings him that much happiness, who are we to steal its magic?"
"It's a blanket, Liv. It has no magic."
"To one little boy it does," she said with a smile. "You may not believe in its powers, daddy, but that blanket wards off bad dreams and protects him from the monsters under the bed. He is three. If he says it is magic, it is magic."
"Now that logic is hard to argue with," Elliot said with a smile.
Olivia smiled and he leaned in slowly to kiss her.
"Do you feel a little better now?"
"What if he asks for us? Or cries for us?"
"Liv…"
"The older kids, they are big enough to understand. But Eli, he's just a little guy. And when he is scared or hurt…" she began to sob as she teared up once more.
"He wants his Livia," Elliot said with a smile.
She stared at him with pleading eyes.
"We can't take him with us, Liv. He is safer there."
"I know," she said wiping her tears away with her hand. "It's just hard."
"Well, yea. That's your baby."
Olivia raised her eyes to look at him.
"I mean, you have been a mother to all of the kids for a while now. And Mia may be the only one you carried inside you, but you came into our lives at the most crucial time of Eli's life. You rocked him to sleep at night, you made sure he had his teddy bear and read him Goodnight Moon. You were the one to comfort him when he was sick or scared. You got up with him at night and paced the floor with him through the chicken pox and cutting new teeth. You kissed his boo boos and wiped away his tears. You are and always have been his favorite person in the entire world. Olivia, you are his mommy."
"Yea," she said suddenly realizing it herself.
"He probably will ask for us and I am sure he'll cry from time to time. But he has his brother and sisters there to comfort him. And he will be so happy to see you when we get back."
"Yea," she whispered exhaling and placing a tiny pacifier in Mia's mouth.
"We can do this. It won't be easy and we will miss them all like crazy every second we are away from them. But we can do it, because we are a family and we love each other. And when you really love someone, you do whatever it takes to keep them safe."
"Even though it is the hardest thing you will ever do," she agreed.
A short while later the car stopped and they all gathered around a picnic table as Elliot explained the details of the plan. It was obvious the kids were all disappointed, even angry that these arrangements had been made, but after talking things over with Elliot and Olivia they all agreed to go along with the plan.
A few moments later, some very tearful goodbyes were shared on Jim and Kate's front steps. Maureen promised to read to Eli every night, just the way he liked it and Olivia couldn't help but break down as he burst into tears and reached out for her.
Elliot led her by the hand back to the car as the little boy cried and waved.
He rested his little head of blonde curls on Maureen's shoulder and sobbed "bye bye, Livia. Bye bye," and waved to them.
"Bye bye, Eli," Olivia whispered through her tears as she waved back to him.
Leaving her children behind ripped her heart to pieces.