…

Why do I live?

Why am I born?

Why should I exist?

When I came into this world, I had the same expectations every newborn once had before we first open our sights. To be loved by kind and caring parents. What infant could wish for more? To lie under their protective gazes; to be tended by their never-ending attention; to see the smiles on their faces when they look at you everyday. I was no different and I was grateful for that…But things don't just stay that way do they?

When a infant evolves into the stage of a child, to that of adolescent…the period taken to achieve the coming goal is a very sensitive period. This is where raising a beloved child may go all wrong if not tended for carefully. From parents that spend their time and life over one baby, they were soon assured that their growing child would make their way into the world on their own. There, they feel that their responsibilities in raising that children had ended. Now, it was to face the problems at their own hands.

When such events invoked by the mother and father force their child to witness both lovely and cruel things about life, their parents, and themselves…the child's true nature is given birth. There is no turning back. What had been seen; what had been learned; what had been exposed to…no longer gave innocence the chance to reclaim their naivety.

This is both good and bad thing about life of a growing child, but to me I found it to be unfortunate…No…worse…

This is my world's undoing…

This will never change who I am…

This…

…Is my curse.

～坂上智代
一月十二日二００九
「Sakagami, Tomoyo」
[January 12, 2009]