Title: Having a mustache is like....

Rating: K+, a single swear word and the two characters are drunk.

Summary: Holmes is curious as to the nature of mustaches

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Sherlock Holmes, nor do I in any way make money of of this.

Dedication: To my wonderful girlfriend Alice, who laughed like a maniac when I performed this out loud for her.

Holmes and Watson were drunk. No, they weren't just drunk, they were incredibly drunk, they were obscenely drunk! The only problem with being obscenely drunk is that it made it quite difficult to walk home. The two were stumbling over each other as they walked and several times they almost ended up a pile of arms and legs on the street.

"Watson," Holmes slurred, "Whash it li- like having a moosestache?"

"A mouse stache," Watson began, before Holmes interrupted.

"I don't care 'bout miche, I ca- car- c- care 'bout moosetaches!" Holmes retorted, in the odd manner one uses when one is angry and drunk.

"Is like the cdklfr bigte," Watson attempted to say.

"Wha?" Holmes asked.

"Is like the csrggr bsdfge!" Watson said, managing not to puke.

At this point Holmes was almost certain that Watson had had his tongue removed; although Holmes did not remember performing this remarkable bit of surgery on Watson, and Holmes liked to think that if Watson needed surgery he would ask him to do it. "Enouncinate, my man good. Erm... enuncinoot, ernun- DAMN IT ALL! SPEAK CLEARLY!" Holmes almost shouted

"I SAID, HAVING A MOOSESTACHE IS LIKE THE COLOR BLUE!" Watson screamed back at him. Watson then looked around for a moment before leaning in close to Holmes' face and whispering conspiratorially, "You don' has to yell."

Holmes pondered Watson's description for a moment, allowing it to filter through his drunken mind, before answering, "I fine your comparisoon of moosetaches to colors fascin- fasci- intersting my dear Wa-."

Before he could finish, Watson grabbed Holmes' face and pulled it close to his own. "Thas no' all!" Watson said, very seriously. "Have you evr ha' a puppy?" he asked, seemingly randomly.

"Thas quite an son nequiter, um non sequeinter," Holmes replied, wondering if he had ever had a puppy.

"Well, a moosestache is like the firs' time seeing a puppy," Watson continued, letting go of Holmes' head.

" But puppies have terble eyes, they util- utiliz- use their nooses," Holmes attempted to correct Watson, perhaps not the best idea when both of them were this drunk.

"Wha'ever. Thas wat a moosestache is like.... I love you Holmes," Watson said, almost negligently.

With that statement, Holmes realized just how drunk they actually were, so he thought it most appropriate to answer, "I love you too Watson."