(A/N: Hi! So I got this idea from 88 things twilight has taught us. I hope you like it. Read & Review. Flames welcome. Be warned, most of content is laced with sarcasm.)

88 things Skulduggery Pleasant has taught us.

1. The one thing Skulduggery CAN NOT, and I repeat, CAN NOT live without is his hat. (Yay, black mail leverage.....)

2. APPARANTLY, and I can't be sure but, APPARANTLY Tanith Low's catchphrase is come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. I can't be sure though. (They only mention it about five times in the book so I'm just guessing here. Don't kill me if I'm wrong.)

3. If you want to get away from a vampire that sheds it's skin (like a snake) the best way, you are noting this down right?, is to throw yourself off a building.

4. Just a tip, if you are facing the possible end of the world and you need to lock up the house be sure to get yourself killed and leave an horrible relative this beige brooch. I'm sure a really good detective will figure it out in the end that you just want your front door closed, don't worry. (Don't worry it really works! And if it doesn't come back in a week and we'll give you a refund of the ugly brooch!*mutters to self* hope they don't realise they will be dead by then....)

5. The best way to react against you not getting all the riches from a family member to a thirteen year old is to squeak like a mouse, and then maybe the girl will get scared and forget about it!

6. Tailor. New and improved, one glance is all it takes to get you measured up and don't worry! I'm sure, no positive, that grudge he has against you will be gone in four days.

7. Me: I'm going to go off fighting criminals now mum!

Mum: Okay, but wait, won't you get hurt?

Me: Don't worry mum, I have black clothes to protect me.

8. Didn't your mother ever tell you playing with fire is dangerous? You might discover you need to wash and then where would you be? All other the place, trust me.

9. Tanith: So how's the magic coming along?
Stephanie: This morning I moved a shell!

Tanith: Few, we'll be okay then. Serpine will be so dazzled with a levitating shell he won't see Skulduggery's fist coming. The world is saved!

10. Mr Bliss, every home should have one! But be warned if you want to punch him I hope you don't mind punching something made out of bricks. I'm not kidding. Mr Bliss was a mutant child. The cement mixer and his mum got busy during the night. And don't even LET me start on how China was made!

(A/N: Good? Bad? Let me know!)