Mischief from the Gods

Disclaimer: I do not own SkipBeat or any of its characters.

Based upon the manga, chapters 154-156 and onward from Ren's perspective.

Kyoko is dressed as Setsuka Heel, and Ren is almost out of his mind. Maybe a trip to Tokyo's top clothing store will solve poor Ren's woes… or will it. Would the gods really be that kind to poor Ren? Oneshot.

Please note: Throughout the narrative, the story will switch often from Cain's name to Ren's name. This is meant to show how often he was falling out-of-character (his Cain character). Please enjoy the story.

… on the way to Jean d' Arc

Cain Heel pounded down the street as fast as his long legs could carry him. He needed to escape, even though he was dragging the source of all his problems by the hand behind him… and that hand, even in a leather fingerless glove, felt… nice. Suddenly Cain was yanked to a stop as the hand in his stopped moving with him. With almost painful effort, Cain turned to look at the leather-clad beauty who owned the hand.

Setsu, looking slightly disheveled, a little angry, more than a little bewildered, and altogether desirable, looked into Cain's eyes. "My legs… hurt… you're walking… too fast…"

Ren lost his grip on Cain altogether as Kyoko's panting frame caused her chest to rise and fall, and her slim, flat, tight stomach to… Stop it!! If she knew what you were thinking she would drop your hand, run away, and never speak to you again! At least she was still holding his hand. This was the longest physical contact they had ever shared, with the exception of the time she had allowed him to use her lap as a pillow. His mind went blank when he lowered his eyes and found himself looking at those spectacular, toned legs. The gods hate me! They must! Else how could they throw this desirable creature at me and then deny me her love? If I ever once slip up and show my true feelings, I'll lose her forever!

He suddenly realized that he had been staring from under his slovenly hair at those legs for at least a minute. He saw that her face was contorting in worry bordering on distress. She's probably thinking that she's done something wrong. I'm sorry, Kyoko-chan. I didn't mean to be cruel. Think… think… Oh! I recognize that sign. Mom sells clothing designs to them! That's it, I'll get her to choose less… suggestive clothing.

"Sorry. I just panicked a bit because I thought the shop was closing soon." Liar!! You knew that if you stayed in that hotel room with this heavenly creature for another minute you would have lost all control. He released her hand reluctantly and started walking again.

"So… which shop do you mean?"

Don't look back… oh, d*mn, I looked again! "You'll see when we get there. Come on." Ren started forward again, even though he wanted to look back desperately. Then he realized that Kyoko was still standing there as half of Tokyo ogled the skimpily dressed beauty. "Setsu… this way."

As she ran forward to catch up, Ren had to look just one more time as her leather clothing swish-swished… Ren sighed deeply, unaware that Kyoko was interpreting this as a failure on her part. She stopped, going into meltdown as she tried desperately to figure out what was causing her sempai to sigh so deeply.

Ren realized that Kyoko had stopped once again. Uh-oh, she's getting worried. He modified his tone to be soft and encouraging, "Come on, quick. The shop's going to close soon."

He led her into Jean d' Arc, and gave her instructions to choose anything she wanted. He even insisted on paying. Any other woman he had dated, realizing that the rich television star was giving her carte blanche, would have gone on a buying frenzy. But Kyoko immediately started to protest. Ren watched as she froze, mid-sentence. He thought he could actually hear the gears in her brain clicking. Then he finally understood. She thinks that this is all a test. She thinks that I'm trying to make her figure out Setsu's character and how she should interact with her brother. Well, whatever works. Just as long as I can get her covered up before I lose my mind.

He watched her out of the corner of his eyes. He watched in fascination as she contemplated all of the thousand possible reactions, the nuances, the interplay of brother and sister. And then he watched her face transform into her understanding of Setsuko. As usual, Kyoko outdid the writer's concept of the character. She smirked, tilted her cute head, and raised a graceful hand to touch her luscious lips, "Is it really okay? When you put it like that, I might take you up on it after all… is that okay?"

She shouldn't giggle like that! It's cruel! Doesn't she realize that she'll destroy every vestige of self-control I have left? Ren sighed, and then smiled, "Go on. Pick anything you like, and bring it here."

Ren congratulated himself as he left instructions with the sales clerk and went outside for a smoke. He couldn't stay inside. His eyes already hurt from the strain of not looking at that gorgeous creature. Outside, glaring at the passersby, he felt safe again… in control. All was right with the world and maybe the gods didn't hate him so much after all.

An hour later, Setsu came to tell Cain that she was ready. As he followed that perfect, slim figure back into the store he realized that he should have told her to pick one outfit to wear out of the store. Instead, she was still dressed in the delightfully evil outfit that Jelly Woods had chosen. Secure in the knowledge that things would be better soon, Ren signed the payslip without looking, picked up four of the five bags, and led the happy, prancing creature out onto the sidewalk.

"Nii-san, I'm hungry." Setsu had stepped up and wrapped one possessive hand around Cain's bicep.

"I thought that we might get you changed in the…"

Setsu pouted, turning that perfect lower lip out and giving her brother a puppy-dog look. Ren's eyes widened under his mop of hair. Uh-oh! Kyoko's figured out Setsu's character too well. She's trying to manipulate her brother… and she knows that Cain would give her what she wanted. Oh well, what's another half hour in that outfit going to hurt?

"Okay, Setsu, we'll eat. What were you thinking of?" Cain Heel despised the world, but he would do anything to keep his doting sister happy.

"I saw an Udon shop just half a block back. How about that?" Her kittenish grin made it clear that she knew that her brother would say yes to almost anything.

Why does she have to be so devastatingly cute? Ren almost sighed, but he stopped himself before the damage was done. "Of course, little sister, udon sounds perfect."

Of course, Ren hadn't thought about the fact that Kyoko, in the guise of Setsuka, would somehow magically transform the eating of udon into a sensual experience. Every time she slurped up her noodles, Ren lost all concentration. I was wrong. The gods definitely hate me. Ren felt exhausted and drained by the time his "sister" led him back out of the little restaurant to complete the short journey back to the hotel room.

The hotel room… why does that have to sound so sinister? What did Lory think he was doing, sending me to stay in a single hotel room with a seventeen year old high school student? especially when the scheming "love-king" knows perfectly well how I feel about the girl. That's right! It's not the gods… it's that love-demon! I'll kill him! I'll catch him alone, when he least expects it, and I'll strangle that…

"Nii-san!!" Ren looked up to realize that Setsu had led him into the hotel and onto the elevator without any conscious thought on his part. He met her eyes now, thinking that those would be the safest place to look. Of course he was wrong, because he found himself falling into those golden eyes. "I asked if you would watch me model my clothes once we get into the room!?!"

She was pouting again, that lip sticking out in protest of being ignored. Cain quickly responded, "O..of course, Setsuka. You know that I always want to make you happy."

That worked. The pout vanished, to be replaced by a brilliant, happy smile that made Ren's chest ache. At least she'll be dressed more conservatively. Then I won't have to be so afraid to look at her.

They arrived at the room, and Ren felt like a schoolboy on his first date. Taking a girl to a hotel room seemed so… so inappropriate. Taking Kyoko there was both his worst nightmare and his greatest… nevermind. I'm just playing out the character of Cain Heel, and Setsuka isn't his lover, she's his sister! I'll just keep reminding myself of…

Ren couldn't complete that thought, as Setsu slinked out in her first new outfit. It was tiger-striped, and skin-tight, and skimpy, and… Oh dear Lord!! I'm such an IDIOT!!! I should have realized that she was shopping as Setsu Heel, not as Mogami Kyoko!!! Aarrrggghh!

Cain Heel somehow managed to make appropriate noises at the appropriate times as Setsu Heel happily paraded one tiny outfit after another in front of him.

Inside of the rough, killer exterior of Cain Heel, a very distressed Tsuruga Ren was crying out to the heavens: Why do the gods hate me so? What have I done to deserve such torture?

And the gods laughed at the poor, weak mortal... while they waited in anticipation for the trim little female mortal to change into her next tiny outfit…