I'm sitting in my office because I would rather be here doing paperwork than to be home with the woman who I have loved for the past 4 years. All of a sudden love just doesn't seem to be enough. All of a sudden it seems that no matter what I say or do nothing is right. I have loved Emily Prentiss for years and now it seems that we are just roommates. Excellent roommates. Funny to think that a 4 year relationship can be summed up in two words. So I will do what I have done for years when it seems things are slipping out of control. I will sit in my office at 3 in the morning and write because if I don't I will explode. So here it goes:

I've cursed everything from the sun to the moon and everything in between.

I cursed for everything that I thought was causing the void forming between us.

Everything but the one thing that is to blame.

Which I guess if someone were to ask you it would be me to blame.

Not sure when we stated to fracture Not sure when the pressures from the outside world got to be to much for us to handle. But I feel it in my bones.

I feel the weight crashing in all around us.

I can't be the only one.

I feel us falling unable to save ourselves and whatever is left of what we had.

I wish I knew how to stop.

To stop the world from crashing.

To stop either one of us from falling.

I want to fight for what we had.

For what we could have again.

What if I'm the only one who wants to?

What if I can't stop the crashing or the falling?

But I have to try.

I can't not fight for you.

I won't loose you.

So now having done that and gotten my feelings out on paper I will pack up my paperwork and go home to the arms that are there waiting for me. It might end up in a fight but I have to try and save this. Whatever this is now. Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be.